Fic: Save Me (57/59)
Title: Save Me
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: Angst, AU
Warnings: Underage drinking
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None
Prompt: Yes, I filled my own prompt. Shut up. ;) You can find it Here
Characters: Luke/Reid, Luke/Noah, Other Misc characters
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: You can't save me now, I'm in the grip of a hurricane...
Previous Chapters: Prologue/ 1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 5/ 6/ 7/ 8/ 9/ 10/ 11/ 12/ 13/ 14/ 15/ 16/ 1l7/ 18/ 19/ 20/ 21/ 22/ 23/ 24/ 25/ 26/ 27/ 28/ 29/ 30/ 31/ 32/ 33/ 34/ 35/ 36/ 37/ 38/ 39/ 40/ 41/ 42/ 43/ 44/ 45/ 46/ 47/ 48/ 49/ 50/ 51/ 52/ 53/ 54/ 55/ 56
Author's Note: Huge thank you's to my official beta for this fic, stl29tide, and alissablue for all her EPIC research. :)
Some of this chapter might seem familiar... :D
“Luke!” Luke turned around at the sound of his name. He was startled to see Noah jogging through the main square of Olde Towne to catch up with him. He paused, waiting for the brunette.
“Noah?” They stood there awkwardly for a second. “What's up?” Luke finally asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“So talk.”
“This sucks.” Noah said. Luke snorted.
“Look, you said you never wanted to see me again.” Luke met his gaze.
“I know what I said.”
“Then just tell me what you want.”
“I want you.”
“What?” Luke blinked at him, wondering if he was suddenly having a delusion and if he should have Reid get him a CAT scan or something.
“You heard me.” Noah sighed. “I miss you, Luke, and I want you back.”
“Noah, I...”
“We could be so much more than we were.” Noah told him. Luke didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything. Noah sighed. “I'm hurting like hell right now, and you're not hurting at all, are you? Do you know how much worse that makes this for me?”
“That's not true.” Luke denied. “I'm hurting.”
And this isn't all about you.
“Well, it doesn't look like it.” Noah replied, his hand reaching up and tugging on the collar of Luke's shirt, exposing the mark on his neck. Noah's mouth drew into an angry line, and Luke shrugged off his hand. “I know I should take the high road, let you go, wish you and Reid a happy life together.” He paused. “I'm not that nice.”
Luke bit his lip. Before, he would have told Noah he was the nicest person he'd ever known. He couldn't say that now, because he didn't believe it and that hurt.
“Noah, we can't go back to who we were before.”
“Why not?”
“I'm not the same person anymore, and you'd try, but you won't really be able to forgive me for Reid.”
“Fine, whatever.” Noah snapped and turned to walk away.
“Noah, don't leave like this.”
“Like what?” Noah asked, stopping and turning around to look at him
“Angry. Bitter.” Luke answered. “We've been through so much together. Don't we deserve a nice good-bye?”
“What? Promise to stay in touch, stay friends?”
“Yes, absolutely.” Luke told him. Noah closed his eyes.
“I can't do that, Luke.” He said. “I can't sit there and watch him be with you and wish it was me instead.”
“If we end things like this, down the road I know you'll regret it as much as I will.”
“Yeah, I would.” Noah admitted. “But I can't pretend I'm not feeling what I'm feeling.”
“Noah...”
“Don't you get it, Luke?” Noah exclaimed. “I'm still in love with you.” Luke's mouth fell open in surprise. “Be honest with me, Luke. Are you really ready to say good bye to me - to us, for good?”
“Noah -” Luke paused for a second. “I love you, and I will always love you.”
“But?” Noah asked, his searched gaze trailing over Luke's face. “What? Say it.” He urged when Luke hesitated. “You're not in love with me any more, you're in love with Reid?”
Luke was shocked by Noah's question.
Was he in love with Reid?
Luke pictured Reid's face, his piercing blue eyes and his smile (when he chose to show it). Luke could almost feel his arms, the gentle but firm way that Reid held him. He heard Reid's voice, echoes of thing that Reid had said, and Luke realized that even when they weren't seeing each other, or even when Luke was at his worst with his drinking, Reid had never said or done anything half as hurtful as Noah had.
His heart was pounding in his chest, and something, something he thought he'd only felt for Noah welled up inside him as he thought about Reid.
“Are you?” Noah asked quietly, getting Luke's attention. “Do you even know?” He snapped.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Luke answered. “Yes. I'm in love with Reid. I am.” Noah looked stunned.
“He's not right for you.” Noah mumbled. “There's something about him. He's selfish, he's gonna hurt you.”
“No, Noah.” Luke shook his head. “I don't think that's true.”
No one could hurt me as much as you have.
“But you don't know.” Noah protested.
“Yeah, but you never really know what anybody's gonna do, do you?”
“I deserve that.” He admitted. “I wasn't there for you and I should have been.”
“Yes, you should have.” Luke agreed. “But you weren't, and I...Reid was there for me when I needed him, even when I didn't know that I needed him.”
“So, what, this with Reid is all payback?”
“No, Noah, this is me saying...” Luke paused. “This is me realizing that, although yes, we loved each other, we were not right for each other.”
“And you and Reid are?” Noah's voice shook and Luke fought back tears. He hadn't expected this realization. It hurt, the truth blinding him...but it was a good kind of pain. He could move on from this and so could Noah.
“Yes.” Noah scoffed.
“I just...didn't think this distance between us would last.”
“Well, then, what did you think? You said you needed time, and then we got back together and you found out about Reid, and then you said you never wanted to see me again. What part of that isn't final, Noah? Was I supposed to just wait around for you?”
“I don't know. I just thought...we'd come out of this at the other end - together, and more connected then we ever have been -”
“Noah.” Luke said, putting his hands on the brunette's face and stopping his words. “We will always be connected.” Noah shook his head. “Otherwise we would not be standing here, and we would not be having this conversation.”
“It's not the same.”
“No, it's not.” Luke whispered. “But we can still be friends. Good friends.”
“No.” Noah said. “I can't.” And with that, Luke could only watch as Noah turned and walked away from him for the last time.
He wiped his eyes, and then took a deep shuddering breath. That had been hardest thing he'd ever had to do.
Going back to Noah now, after everything, it wouldn't be right. Because he'd been telling the truth.
“I'm in love with Reid.” He whispered, a slow smile creeping over his face.
*
Reid made his way through Olde Towne, heading for Java and a coffee date with Luke. He couldn't believe he'd wound in a relationship with the kid.
Reid Oliver did not do relationships. Except maybe he did...but only with one Luke Snyder.
He smiled to himself. What had happened to the Reid Oliver who fucked 'em and left 'em wanting more?
Shaking his head, Reid crossed the square, near Java now.
He didn't know what made him look at the antique store as he passed by, or the two men having a conversation along the side of the building, but he did.
Reid froze.
He couldn't look away.
Luke was talking to Noah, and FUCK, touching Noah's face, and...
Reid closed his eyes. It didn't help. He could still see the image in his head, the picture burned into his retinas and his brain, thanks to his photographic memory.
He walked away quickly, turning back the way he came, trying to control himself.
He should have known better.
Reid went back to the cottage, at a loss. He didn't know what to do. What were you supposed to do when the man you loved wanted someone else?
He lost track of time, trailing through the bedroom, running his hands over Luke's things and wondering why he wasn't enough.
Reid opened the drawer on the bedside table, and reached inside. He pulled out Luke's scarf, the one that Luke had blindfolded him with. The one covered with Luke's come and the smell of sex.
Get it together, Oliver. Suck it up. He doesn't want you. Life goes on.
The front door slammed open, and he heard Luke in the living room.
“Reid?”
Reid let the scarf drop on the bed and went to the doorway of the bedroom.
“Where the hell were you?” Luke asked, slipped off his coat.
Reid remained silent, and waited for the axe to fall.
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: Angst, AU
Warnings: Underage drinking
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None
Prompt: Yes, I filled my own prompt. Shut up. ;) You can find it Here
Characters: Luke/Reid, Luke/Noah, Other Misc characters
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: You can't save me now, I'm in the grip of a hurricane...
Previous Chapters: Prologue/ 1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 5/ 6/ 7/ 8/ 9/ 10/ 11/ 12/ 13/ 14/ 15/ 16/ 1l7/ 18/ 19/ 20/ 21/ 22/ 23/ 24/ 25/ 26/ 27/ 28/ 29/ 30/ 31/ 32/ 33/ 34/ 35/ 36/ 37/ 38/ 39/ 40/ 41/ 42/ 43/ 44/ 45/ 46/ 47/ 48/ 49/ 50/ 51/ 52/ 53/ 54/ 55/ 56
Author's Note: Huge thank you's to my official beta for this fic, stl29tide, and alissablue for all her EPIC research. :)
Some of this chapter might seem familiar... :D
“Luke!” Luke turned around at the sound of his name. He was startled to see Noah jogging through the main square of Olde Towne to catch up with him. He paused, waiting for the brunette.
“Noah?” They stood there awkwardly for a second. “What's up?” Luke finally asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“So talk.”
“This sucks.” Noah said. Luke snorted.
“Look, you said you never wanted to see me again.” Luke met his gaze.
“I know what I said.”
“Then just tell me what you want.”
“I want you.”
“What?” Luke blinked at him, wondering if he was suddenly having a delusion and if he should have Reid get him a CAT scan or something.
“You heard me.” Noah sighed. “I miss you, Luke, and I want you back.”
“Noah, I...”
“We could be so much more than we were.” Noah told him. Luke didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything. Noah sighed. “I'm hurting like hell right now, and you're not hurting at all, are you? Do you know how much worse that makes this for me?”
“That's not true.” Luke denied. “I'm hurting.”
And this isn't all about you.
“Well, it doesn't look like it.” Noah replied, his hand reaching up and tugging on the collar of Luke's shirt, exposing the mark on his neck. Noah's mouth drew into an angry line, and Luke shrugged off his hand. “I know I should take the high road, let you go, wish you and Reid a happy life together.” He paused. “I'm not that nice.”
Luke bit his lip. Before, he would have told Noah he was the nicest person he'd ever known. He couldn't say that now, because he didn't believe it and that hurt.
“Noah, we can't go back to who we were before.”
“Why not?”
“I'm not the same person anymore, and you'd try, but you won't really be able to forgive me for Reid.”
“Fine, whatever.” Noah snapped and turned to walk away.
“Noah, don't leave like this.”
“Like what?” Noah asked, stopping and turning around to look at him
“Angry. Bitter.” Luke answered. “We've been through so much together. Don't we deserve a nice good-bye?”
“What? Promise to stay in touch, stay friends?”
“Yes, absolutely.” Luke told him. Noah closed his eyes.
“I can't do that, Luke.” He said. “I can't sit there and watch him be with you and wish it was me instead.”
“If we end things like this, down the road I know you'll regret it as much as I will.”
“Yeah, I would.” Noah admitted. “But I can't pretend I'm not feeling what I'm feeling.”
“Noah...”
“Don't you get it, Luke?” Noah exclaimed. “I'm still in love with you.” Luke's mouth fell open in surprise. “Be honest with me, Luke. Are you really ready to say good bye to me - to us, for good?”
“Noah -” Luke paused for a second. “I love you, and I will always love you.”
“But?” Noah asked, his searched gaze trailing over Luke's face. “What? Say it.” He urged when Luke hesitated. “You're not in love with me any more, you're in love with Reid?”
Luke was shocked by Noah's question.
Was he in love with Reid?
Luke pictured Reid's face, his piercing blue eyes and his smile (when he chose to show it). Luke could almost feel his arms, the gentle but firm way that Reid held him. He heard Reid's voice, echoes of thing that Reid had said, and Luke realized that even when they weren't seeing each other, or even when Luke was at his worst with his drinking, Reid had never said or done anything half as hurtful as Noah had.
His heart was pounding in his chest, and something, something he thought he'd only felt for Noah welled up inside him as he thought about Reid.
“Are you?” Noah asked quietly, getting Luke's attention. “Do you even know?” He snapped.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Luke answered. “Yes. I'm in love with Reid. I am.” Noah looked stunned.
“He's not right for you.” Noah mumbled. “There's something about him. He's selfish, he's gonna hurt you.”
“No, Noah.” Luke shook his head. “I don't think that's true.”
No one could hurt me as much as you have.
“But you don't know.” Noah protested.
“Yeah, but you never really know what anybody's gonna do, do you?”
“I deserve that.” He admitted. “I wasn't there for you and I should have been.”
“Yes, you should have.” Luke agreed. “But you weren't, and I...Reid was there for me when I needed him, even when I didn't know that I needed him.”
“So, what, this with Reid is all payback?”
“No, Noah, this is me saying...” Luke paused. “This is me realizing that, although yes, we loved each other, we were not right for each other.”
“And you and Reid are?” Noah's voice shook and Luke fought back tears. He hadn't expected this realization. It hurt, the truth blinding him...but it was a good kind of pain. He could move on from this and so could Noah.
“Yes.” Noah scoffed.
“I just...didn't think this distance between us would last.”
“Well, then, what did you think? You said you needed time, and then we got back together and you found out about Reid, and then you said you never wanted to see me again. What part of that isn't final, Noah? Was I supposed to just wait around for you?”
“I don't know. I just thought...we'd come out of this at the other end - together, and more connected then we ever have been -”
“Noah.” Luke said, putting his hands on the brunette's face and stopping his words. “We will always be connected.” Noah shook his head. “Otherwise we would not be standing here, and we would not be having this conversation.”
“It's not the same.”
“No, it's not.” Luke whispered. “But we can still be friends. Good friends.”
“No.” Noah said. “I can't.” And with that, Luke could only watch as Noah turned and walked away from him for the last time.
He wiped his eyes, and then took a deep shuddering breath. That had been hardest thing he'd ever had to do.
Going back to Noah now, after everything, it wouldn't be right. Because he'd been telling the truth.
“I'm in love with Reid.” He whispered, a slow smile creeping over his face.
*
Reid made his way through Olde Towne, heading for Java and a coffee date with Luke. He couldn't believe he'd wound in a relationship with the kid.
Reid Oliver did not do relationships. Except maybe he did...but only with one Luke Snyder.
He smiled to himself. What had happened to the Reid Oliver who fucked 'em and left 'em wanting more?
Shaking his head, Reid crossed the square, near Java now.
He didn't know what made him look at the antique store as he passed by, or the two men having a conversation along the side of the building, but he did.
Reid froze.
He couldn't look away.
Luke was talking to Noah, and FUCK, touching Noah's face, and...
Reid closed his eyes. It didn't help. He could still see the image in his head, the picture burned into his retinas and his brain, thanks to his photographic memory.
He walked away quickly, turning back the way he came, trying to control himself.
He should have known better.
Reid went back to the cottage, at a loss. He didn't know what to do. What were you supposed to do when the man you loved wanted someone else?
He lost track of time, trailing through the bedroom, running his hands over Luke's things and wondering why he wasn't enough.
Reid opened the drawer on the bedside table, and reached inside. He pulled out Luke's scarf, the one that Luke had blindfolded him with. The one covered with Luke's come and the smell of sex.
Get it together, Oliver. Suck it up. He doesn't want you. Life goes on.
The front door slammed open, and he heard Luke in the living room.
“Reid?”
Reid let the scarf drop on the bed and went to the doorway of the bedroom.
“Where the hell were you?” Luke asked, slipped off his coat.
Reid remained silent, and waited for the axe to fall.