The Dork Legacy 6.3 - Guest Update!

Nov 16, 2008 23:04

A Dorkumentary for your Edutainment

Previously, on The Dork Legacy:

[ 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 ]

[ 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6 | 2.7 ]

[ 3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 ]

[ 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 4.7 ]

[ 5.0 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4 | 5.5 | 5.6 | 5.7 ]

[ 6.0 | 6.1 | 6.2 ]





quean_of_swords: That's right, bitches! This time, the Dorks are mine! MWA-HA-HA-HAAA!!!!

...

Please ignore the extra exclamation points. I'm fine. Really.

Everyone welcome our guest narrator, Morgan Freesim.



The lives of Sims have been well documented since they left the suburban plains of what was probably New Jersey and made homes in the small towns of Pleasantview, Strangetown, and Riverblossom Hills... Generations have passed before our eyes. We have cheered and cried with them, we have pushed them to extremes and laughed at their triumphs.



Today, we are observing a particular nest. The Sims here have been named Dork, probably a Swedish name. They are a fine example of a Sim family.



As we bring the camera onto the scene, we can see two of the Sims at play.



The juvenile, whom the researchers have come to call Kian, is being swung by the Servo female, GlaDos. GlaDos enjoys this game quite a lot.



Kian does not seem to share her feelings.



Kian is a curious child.



...Who dreams of someday being a private dancer. A dancer for money. He'll do what you want him to do.



This juvenile is called April. She does not want to be a dancer, or a kitty boxer. She likes to play video games.



The juveniles learn early the value of a good mating call.



On a clear night, the moons are clearly visible.



One of the family members observes the moons... but something else has appeared in the sky.



The adult male, Lister, has made an unpleasant discovery: he has been discovered.



Again.



The adult female, Sarina, is aware of her mate's plight. However, she does nothing.







The scientists have returned Lister to his nest. The tag placed on him by the previous expedition has been updated.



Lister is not pleased.



GlaDos is pleased.



The elder male, Roman, fears that he too will receive a tag.

Lister's mate keeps her distance from her mate; she can sense the scientist has touched him and she is not sure if she wants him back.



It seems that Roman is less concerned with the situation of his offspring, and more with the sudden presence of a stone monument. Scientists have not yet been able to determine how the physical remains of a Sim are converted instantly to stone.

It is worth note that Sims do not seem to engage in funereal practices, though they do seem to mourn their dead, and often collect them in something like a "graveyard." Some even keep them indoors with mementoes.



The scientists' experiment seems to have been successful. Adult male Lister is showing signs of fertilization. Repeat fertilizations of male Sims are rare, as most are too smart to return to the telescope lures.



Male Sim libido is not hurt by pregnancy. In fact, it seems to increase.



Here we have a rare opportunity to watch intimate relations between a male Sim and a female Servo.

The male brandishes his tool.

The female is intrigued.



The male inserts the tool into the female's rear access port. This stage can last for as many as sixty seconds.







It is at this stage that the female Servo usually turns to bite off the head of the male brave enough to approach her.



However, GlaDos seems to have decided to allow Roman to keep his head.



... Most likely so that he can finish the job.



After they have satisfied themselves, it is time to move on to the next stage.



GlaDos offers to service Roman. He is coy for a moment, all part of the mating dance, but accepts her advances.

It is worth note that the juveniles are still around, and may have even been present during the sexual play performed by their family members. In fact many juvenile Sims witness WooHoo before reaching their childhood phase. While many of us are psychologically damaged by this, even into our adult lives, Sims have an astonishing resilience.



Some, however, are forever changed and become aggressive.



But then, some Sims are, in scientific terms, jerks.



Of course, there are finer points... Creativity, especially in music, is a joy to witness.

Despite the finite repertoire.



Here we can see that GlaDos and Roman have moved successfully to the next stage of mating: WooHoo.



Unfortunately, our cameras were unable to capture the event in detail. Sims are modest by nature, and nearly always cover themselves during coitus. Though they nearly always leave the lights on.



As Sims grow older, they often lose this natural modesty, and also their sense of temperature. Q, pictured here, is no exception.



Some of them even prepare food while wearing only the barest of garments.





The fine meal of Rainbow Trout is spoiled. Q has not yet learned the proper placement of food relative to cooking vessels.



Winter comes to the Sims.



Though, they are clever creatures, who have realized that pools can be made indoors.



A creature invades the Sim nest, undetected by the inhabitants.



The Sim Penguin is the rarest of all birds. It's favorite prey: the mounted fish.



The Sim Penguin is a flightless bird.



But not a quitter.



Many attempts are made to reach the delicious fish.



The Sim Penguin... majestic... with eyes like the antarctic sea.



The penguin has given up. Now there is nothing to do except begin the long trek back to the mating grounds. The chick she left with her mate... will starve.



Winter continues. Someone has destroyed the snow sculpture made by Roman. Most likely it was the aggressive juvenile, April.



There is some hope for April though. It seems she has made a new friend.



Unfortunately, there is no time for April and her new playmate to engage in games. First, she and her siblings must study.

Zoe and Kian form a group to one side, leaving April alone.



April's playmate, Gnome, is a cousin from another nest. He enjoys dancing.



Many Sims enjoy dancing.



The time has come to give the juveniles of the nest an opportunity at a better life.

The scientists affectionately call this elder, Professor Funk.



Professor Funk is impressed by the family's dance. The future of the children is looking brighter.



All Sims, young and old, share a distaste for waste. Kian here is repulsed by a family member relieving himself in another part of the nest, even though it is in a part designated for waste.



Lister's first experience with the taggers yielded a successful pregnancy, resulting in a child. Gizka has finished her larval stage and molts to reveal her larger nymph body... Her teeth grow longer every day.



Professor Funk is pleased. The children are well on their way to gaining entry to a better institute of learning.

GlaDos is also pleased.



Lister and the children share a meal of fish (prepared on the correct side of the pan, this time) in celebration. It is rare to have all Sims in a nest sit down to eat at the same time.



Sarina has come late to the meal, but is free to eat all of the food that is left behind.

Like many Sims, Sarina remembers important life events during calm moments that have nothing to do with the event whatsoever. Researchers have not been able to determine whether Sims understand the concept of correlation or interrelation.



The nymph, or "toddler" stage of life is commonly held to be the most adorable.



Gizka has only been a toddler for one Sim day, and yet she has already mastered pouting.



Gizka has found an activity that excites her. She is pleased.



Lister has reached stage 2 of his pregnancy.



In order to ensure proper and beneficial changes from one life stage to another, Sims are often fed special nectar during their nymph stage. This encourages faster development in skills such as walking and talking.



Kian demonstrates his creativity by painting many faint lines on a blank canvas.



Gizka has consumed an optimal amount of nectar, and is ready to learn.



Some Sims are not lucky enough to have received nectar during their crucial developmental years. Sarina is often still confused and tries to talk to fish.



The frustration she feels at her continued failure causes her much distress.



But she is not a quitter.



Judah and Q engage in dance. Q is particularly good at this, and begins to give off a fine mist.



Today, the nest is full of visitors.





Sarina is pregnant! That will make for an interesting time if she and Lister both give birth around the same time. More than one infant per nest is always a challenge to everyone involved, especially the observing researchers.



Another cousin from a neighboring nest has come to visit



Kian tries to learn from a visiting male, however, he does not seem to be having much success.



Lister has entered the final stage of pregnancy. It won't be long now until he produces a new larva.



A touching display of Gizka interacting with one of her older half-siblings. It is rare to catch the young nymph interacting with the other offspring.



Pregnancy has not dimmed the sexual drive of either Lister or Sarina. However, it may be difficult for them to perform the maneuver's necessary for a normal mating. Sims are not known for the imagination.



Sarina gave birth you an infant that most closely resembles herself. The observers have named it Benrime. It's gender will be come clear as it grows older.



Kian is excited by the arrival of his new sibling, and he expresses his pleasure.



GlaDos may not be waterproof.





Apparently, she is. Her power source shows.



Sarina is already ready to mate again, even though Lister has not yet given birth to his larva.





Even the most tightly controlled experiments have their tense moments.













Every precaution is taken to preserve the subjects.



With the crisis seemingly averted, the experiment resumes.

Sarina appears to have gained weight, perhaps a delayed reaction to her pregnancy.



GlaDos and Roman continue their relationship. The scientists keep a wary eye on them, hoping to either witness another mating, or perhaps Roman's demise at the hands of his synthetic mate.



Roman does not seem to share their misgivings.



GlaDos's reaction to Roman's newest demonstration is disappointing.



But heartwarming.







GlaDos accepts Roman's suggestion that they form a more permanent mating bond.



There is little pomp or circumstance. The bonding finished, GlaDos goes about her daily business of terrifying the researchers.



Roman accepts his new mate into his family, though it seems he is conflicted.



Not that he gives any indication to his mate.

The researchers are still committed to the idea that GlaDos is biding her time.



Perhaps now she is preparing to strike. The white mist indicates that she is in her element.



Dissappointed by GlaDos's lack of aggression, we turn our attention to young Kian. He is one of the favorites among the juveniles. Here he is at play.



Another cousin visits, wearing a shirt that might be a donkey, or an old black man bleeding from the bottom of his severed head.



GlaDos continues to disappoint by being cute.



A neighbor indicates his pleasure at seeing two Sims in an intimate embrace in full view of the public.









Tragedy strikes!

It is time for Roman to die.



Rare pictures of the last moments of a Sim's life.



Reactions of his nest-mates are varied.







GlaDos mourns her dead mate, proving without a doubt that Servos feel the same emotions that Sims do. It is clear that she has a heart, because it's breaking.



Life in the nest must move forward. Gizka reaches the juvenile stage.





Benrime becomes a nymph.



Gizka is groomed.



The juveniles rush to the school bus that will take them to Professor Funk's School for the Awesome.



It should be noted that Sims sometimes keep pets. Here is rare footage of to Sim Cats at play.







April has finally found a way to bond with her brother. Zoe looks on, oblivious to the fact that they are probably talking about her.



Professor Funk rejects Gizka from the School of Awesome, no doubt displeased by the publick display of affection by Judah and Q.

Professor Funk looses some of his esteem. Q and Judah's awesomeness actually rate a 9.7 on the Awesomeness Scale. Professor Funk needs to do more research.



Lister successfully hid the birth of his larva from the cameras. His larva reaches the nymph stage with the expected molting of multi-colored confetti-like... confetti.

The nymph is called Talortai.





Gizka's skills in cuteness have reached a very high level by this stage of her development. The scientists responsible for her birth increased her appeal on the genetic level.



April, who was the natural product of traditional Sim mating, has only half the cuteness that her half-sister has.



As can be seen here, Kian received more natural cuteness from his parents, in part due to the fact that he has "cool hair."









Kian's natural cuteness is best observed while he is at play.



April can compete in one aspect: SFE index. SFE, or strange facial expressions, give one Sim child advantage over another, especially when they are competing for genetic advantage in the next generation.

A high enough SFE index rating can even overcome a high cuteness score.



Gizka proves that even scientifically manipulated Sims have extreme feces prejudice.



Zoe continues work on her creativity. At the same time, she attempts to improve her Vulcan Eyebrow. The latter skill far outstrips the former.



Lister and Sarina have not mated for several Sim days.



Sarina does not seem to be troubled by this. Most likely this means that she has not become pregnant again.



Judah gives Sarina advice on mates. Most likely he will be ignored.



Especially since his proximity to Sarina is inappropriate.



Judah resents Lister, while Sarina is reminded of her engagement by the color of the carpet.



Teething is especially painful for a young Sim. Sometimes the teeth come out the wrong side of the jaw. This is easily corrected with expensive surgery.



Benrime lets out a cry to alert the nest that she wishes to leave her sleeping place.



Perhaps Sarina did take Judah's strangely framed encouragement to heart. She and Lister are well on the way to another mating; perhaps they will produce more offspring.



Q's expulsion of mist indicates her pleasure with her current activity.



Beating her son Rimmer at pool.



Rimmer's target is easy to spot.



To Q's surprise, he hits it.



Q's white mist of pleasure quickly dissipates. Rimmer is smug. It is not often that he gets to be on camera, let alone do something interesting while he's there.



Rimmer has a surprisingly high cuteness rating; this is one example of out a SFE index (like Lister's) paired with Fun Hair, can defeat Cuteness.



Though, it is important to always remember, that Awesomeness is the trump of all trumps. Except for the guy with the bad hair. Not that Trump.

Q=Awesome.

Especially when paired with tortoise shell glasses.

----------------------------

Katu's notes:

- I am ashamed to admit that I didn't get the March of the Penguins reference until the penguin part. -.- I have been awake for a very, very long time.

- GlaDos is NOT waterproof. She jumps in the pool and then goes crazy. All the time.

- During the time when my computer had a rave, I was kind of freaking out, because my screen was flashing bright and dim, and the screen was going nuts. I let the game save for about a half an hour before I had to hard restart Optimus. The Dorks were just fine.

- "GlaDos Joined The Family," Roman?! She's only been around since BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.

- And, finally, thanks to quean_of_swords for being awesome and writing the best guest update ever. XD

legacy: guest update, legacy: dork, legacy: gen6

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