The Dork Legacy 1.2
When last we left the Dorks, they were running away from their problems. I checked them into the cheapest hotel.
Alice in Wonderland?
To try to get back into the green, Caed begins chatting up Cara Nanale (The Hot Vacationie).
She, however, is a big bitchy face. So Caed and Tara begin defiling public property looking for treasure maps. Now...I've tried this before, and trust me, that excuse doesn't fly with the police.
After Tara digs up rock after bone after sculpture, and finally, the map to the Witch Doctor's house, ALL Caedmon was able to dig up was a bunch of water. I don't say this often, but FAIL.
They're the Clean Team! (Hey, this is the Dork legacy. I can make dorky jokes if I wanna).
"Taxi? Yes, could you please take me to the witch doctor's house? My LTW may depend on this!
It took them to the Mystic Hut all right. Or, it took me, anyway. Oddly enough there was no one to be found. Just me, the house, and build mode.
When I reloaded, I found them standing beside the road, doing this. Awww.
Caed: This makes me think of that one episode of Star Trek Voyager, where Q asked Janeway to bear his child...
Tara: Oh my God, you watch girl Star Trek.
"Anyway, let's visit that Witch Doctor guy."
"...not for girls, mumble mumble, Deep Space Nine, now THAT'S for girls...grumbleseethe."
Success!
"Hey Mr. Witch Doctor. Nice mask. Can I have a Voodoo doll? I need it or I'll never die happy."
Tara works her butt off. And where is Caed (and his 1 Mechanical skill point)?
Fishing. Nice.
Look familiar?
Caed: I HELPZ TOO LOL
That's a...very nice dance.
The Witch Doctor decided to make an appearance finally, but since Tara was taking a bath when he arrived, instead of gift giving, he just started to hula. So Tara and Caedmon learned, and now they roll wants to do it all the time. >.>
"Why is that chick better at my own dance than I am? O.o"
"TEEHEE RECYCLING MAKES ME SHY!"
I know someone who is never shy.
"Oh, a gift? For me?! How unexpected, thank you!"
Thiiiiiis is the niiiiiight, it's a beauuuuutiful niiiiiight...
"Remember that night when I threatened to cast Entangle on you?"
"Oh yeah!"
"I totally told her that I'd go to jail for her."
"That's a cheesy line. I definitely would have said something more along the lines of 'You look as though both your arms and your lower torso are missing, baby!'"
YOU THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA MAKE A BUST JOKE, HUH!
FAT. Well, it's about time. Whoever heard of a skinny dork.
For fun, I decide to try Mr. Mickles on the Witch Doctor.
She got overheated, and the doll EXPLODED. DON'T try this at home, kids.
All though I wonder...would she have fallen in love with herself if she'd tried to use that on him?
Normally I hate the male fat morph...but on him it's kind of endearing.
Tara has a weird glitch where she sneaks up and down stairs all the time. It's funny.
Oh em gee it's so artsy! Tara made a wish at the Gumbok statue fountain thing. Nothing happened. Grump. >.>
"Baby, I love you more than Zaphod Beeblebrox loves himself."
Hey look who came all the way out to Twikkii island just to chauffer my sims around! Now that's what I call Maxis laziness dedication!
"OH GOD YOU PICKED THE WRONG TOUR CARD AND I AM NOT HAVING FUN ANYMORE."
"I'M NOT HAVING FUN EITHER, AND ALSO I'M HUGELY FAT."
"Look, uh, this was nice and everything, but I've been about to have a baby for like two days and I WANT TO GO HOME!! ;O;"
"Get me the hell out of here!"
They were both stupidly glad to be home. They were all happy about the vacation for about two minutes after they got there...and then stopped rolling vacation wants at all.
Poor Tara. She had time for precisely ONE swoon, before...
"OH GOD FINALLY I'VE BEEN HAVING CONTRACTIONS FOR TWO DAYS!"
"My spidey sense is tingling."
"OH GOD A BABY?! BUT I STILL HAVE A FEAR OF THAT!"
LIAR. DAMN DAMN LIAR!
Einstein: This woman just gave birth to me!
Yeah, that one's Einstein. It's a boy.
"Nooo, babies...Whoa, this feels kind of familiar..."
And now it's time to share with you the CRAZIEST minute or two of simming that I've had in a while.
Caed went into aspiration failure right before Tara was going to hand him the baby, and right as his carpool arrived.
I note that even though he's in failure because of the event, his memory of it was still good.
Time for the second baby. Due to it's dark skintone, I named it Drizzt. Yeah, you can hit me. It's okay.
This is the view with Tara selected.
And this is it with Caed selected. I never realised the therapist never showed up for other sims! AWESOME! The carpool is still there, I note.
Also, his cell phone has been ringing the whole time.
And success! The Doctor fixes him up in time to catch his carpool, right as Tara births her THIRD child, a girl, named Willoughby.
That whole sequence made constantly changing three babies' diapers at the same time actually fairly bearable. Kind of puts it into perspective.
This is the new baby room.
The new master bedroom (now with more than just a bed!).
The bathroom (which I later re-remodeled after I realised that tub/shower only has tub functions ;-;.
The new kitchen!
And a new living area.
Tara decided to dress a little more motherly. I think this outfit has a totally adorable fat morph.
Also, since having children, Tara now does the "Shivaroom!" pointy thing every time she enters a room. ;-;
Good mommy!
Good mommy!
Check out that fat motherly ASS. Sink my teeth into that, if you know what I'm sayin'.
Bad mommy!
"Now, infant child, just because you lack the ability to control your bladder and bowels does not simply mean that you can soil yourself whenever you please!"
I was going to label this as a "good mommy" picture, because actually the baby IS hungry...but then I figured that if it was stinky AND hungry, it's not probably considered in the "good mommy" category.
"Hey, I know we're married and we live together...but would you like to go on a date?"
"Haha, I totally dated a chick once before we met!"
Dirty joke time:
"So she was like 'No, I don't wanna join the mile high club!'"
"'I am an artist!'"
"'But I'll totally ride your bullet train!'"
"So there was this chili, right..."
"And a burglar ate it..."
"At night!"
"LOLOLOL" *plus*
It was about time for some more nookie, I thought.
Ah, triplets.
While Tara was at work, later, Caedmon invited over some lady he met once.
"And then there was this panel, and Aylee was like "I'm a pretty flower!" with all her spikes and stuff arranged like petals! OH MY GOD I LAUGHED FOREVER!"
No one else is going to get that reference, and I hate when people don't explain, so here: it's from Sluggy Freelance, a webcomic. Www.sluggy.com. That particular panel is like six years old now, lol.
Caedmon: I'm gonna cheat on Tara, but I'm gonna look angry that I have to.
Autonomous diaper changing? By a romance sim?
I immediately got annoyed when Caed's bedfellow picked up one of the dirty babies. I'm like, "UGH THEY DON'T NEED TO BE FED." But then...
OMG holy crap! At this point I very nearly moved Tara out to hook up with Mr. Bill Tse (her three bolter) and moved whatsherface in, lol. But...I am selfish and I love Tara too much to let her go.
So Caedmon now has a wife and three kids...but only three skill points. Total.
"V...I got one of your roses, today."
I wanted to end this update on an appropriately dorky note...but this is all I got.
Oh, and Tara still paints all the time.
So that was a fulfilling ending, right? Don't worry, next update will be up soon, it'll be a bit more condensed, and there will be BIRTHDAYS and TODDLERS and MAKEOVERS and we will see who has elf ears and who does not!