The Dork Legacy 4.4
Warnings: Yes, I actually have warnings this time. If you are offended by someone who loves both France and Japan, jokingly making fun of French and Japanese stereotypes, then you may not want to read this! Also, mild swearing.
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
[ 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 ]
[ 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6 | 2.7 ]
[ 3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 ]
[ 4.0 |4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 ]
Last time! GladOS ran her little produce shop, made a friend, and then killed him! Bilbo and Shelby got old, and Einstein died. Vanessa did, too, but not before having an affair with her son-in-law, whose wife then immediately slept with her coworker and got knocked up. Janeway, Jean Luc, and Q all became toddlers, and were adorable. Jane Stacks and Roman fell in love after she complained to him, for some ungodly reason.
Oh, and while I don't believe I got a picture of him doing so, but Mr. Dumble aged prematurely because of all the stress a strange glitch.
Blocks: FREEDOM!
Dude, Jean Luc, maybe you should be a little more careful when playing...D:
Roman: Dude! Mom! Congrats on learning how to pee in the toilet! I just learned how to do that shit like yesterday, I have no idea how hard it must have been for you...being, you know...penis challenged.
Right. Roman, go do something useful. Like apologizing to your estranged wife.
Roman: I was weak! You were never there for me!
Margaret: Dude, I was in the room.
Roman: Hey, first come, first served. Or, more like, first served, first COME!
Margaret: ...
Roman: Anyway, I'm really really sorry and I probably promise never to do it again for a while!
Margaret: Well, whatever. Just take care of my bastard son and we'll call it even.
Roman: Deal! Sex now?
Filcher: Oh I am so out of here.
This is for Willoughby. I figured, why the hell not? Also, abs on pregnant meshes? No thank you!
...No comment.
Anyway, off to Downtown!
Andrzej: That is one fine piece of aged ass!
Margaret's Coworker and Father of Her Bastard Child: *is here too*
These people also showed up.
...And this.
Gee, Willoughby, I know they said "casual dress," but don't you think that's a little overboard?
Willoughby: I'm old. I can do whatever I want.
Yeah. That's...not really the place for that, dear.
Willoughby: Old. Whatever I want.
Willoughby: And what I want now is to dance! *smustles*
While all of these people are injuring enjoying themselves dancing...
This (very attractive) bitch just stands there with her arms folded. In the middle of the dance floor.
Eventually everyone gets tired and stops dancing, anyway, though.
Except for Shannon Walter here. She danced until Willoughby left the lot.
Trebuchet: That woman giving my grandmother a ride home is simply hideous!
Trebuchet: Oh God, how unfortunate for her not to be beautiful!
Yeah, okay. He's hot.
Meanwhile, back at home, this random guy rang their doorbell. I had Willoughby go greet him.
I...guess they knew each other?
Jean Luc: wtf is all dis pink stuff?
Here's Jean Luc, all growed up and rather handsome if I do say so myself.
After a makeover, he's extra adorable.
And here's Janeway! She's almost identical to Jean Luc with this hair.
So I changed it! She's got a heck of a chin, but she's meant to be a strong woman, and I think she quite looks the part.
Janeway: What are you doing on my ship, intruder? And why shouldn't I phase you out of existence!
Jean Luc: Don't shoot! I'm from the Starship Enterprise! I was just cautiously going where almost no men have gone before!
Janeway: Yeah, well, it's MY bedroom, and you stay out of it! D:
This is the redheads-only couch. Also, thanks, Myos, for the natural red haircolour. >.>
It's hard to see him, but it's COOPER BEAR! From Uni! I took him home with the Dorks because I love him. D:
Nettie: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! THIS SUCKS!
Me: Dude, you should know better than to ask what you did. -.-
Margaret: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! THIS SUCKS!
Me: Dude, you definitely shouldn't have to ask that...
This picture: *is pretty damn creepy*
Everyone, meet Geordi! And yes, I was ridiculously excited to get a black baby for precisely that reason. :P I was torn between "Geordi" and "Worf" as a name...but for pretty obvious reasons, I went with Geordi. :D
Margaret: Dude, that time you slept with your mother-in-law? So lame!
Roman: lol yeah...wait, what?
Roman: I thought we were over that! *minusminus*
Margaret: FUCK YOU YOU CHEATED ON ME! *plus*
Yeah. She just stood there, Bad Mouthing him over and over again. She wouldn't do anything else! D:
Roman: *post-kissing* See? We love each other, don't we? :D
Margaret: Mhmm. That cat makes me think of how my HUSBAND CHEATED ON ME.
Dude...you just had a bastard son with your coworker!
O rly. -.-
Mr. Dumble: Oooh dear, he doesn't look healthy at all...I hope he's not anorexic! *worry*
Super Agnes: Wait! My Spidey senses are telling me that something might be going wrong!
Death: COME WITH ME, MISTER DUMBLE DORK, AND YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY AGAIN.
Mr. Dumble: WAIT, IS THAT A STICK?! OMG YES!!
;-; Goodbye, Mister Dumble. I'm sorry I didn't take more pictures of you during your (very short thanks to that glitch) life. Coincidentally, he died at only 10 days old. >.>
Q: Oh dis is not comfyble.
Q: Ah, this is much better.
At first, I FREAKED OUT because I thought Willoughby was dying. D: But it turned out it was actually Algren.
Algren: Aww, dangit!
Good bye, dearest Algren, the only man who turned our dear Willoughby's head enough to tie her down.
Despite all the hoo-hah, the Headmaster who you didn't even know was there, let the kids into private school!
Arial: *is really hot*
Arial: Pardon me, don't mind me, you don't mind if I raid the fridge, do you?
Arial: DAMMIT, WHO ATE THE LAST HOT POCKET?
GladOS: Mmmm, that Aperture Science Hot Pocket I recently consumed was definitely a good choice! :)
I just thought this warranted a closeup.
Arial: Hey, I wonder if that Jello snack I left in here is still here?
GladOS: But that Aperture Science Hot Pocket compared very poorly to the results of the Aperture Science Jello Jigglers that were also consumed by me!
Arial: FUCK YOU, STOP EATING MY FOOD!
Remember me telling you that she kept Bad Mouthing him? Well, she did it SO MUCH that he fell out of love with her. D: TWICE. I was very tempted to move her out.
Willoughby: Oh, trusty wishing well! Now that my husband is gone...can anybody find MEEEEEEEEE SOMEBODY TO LOOOOOooooOOOOVE! I WORK HARD! EVERY DAY! I TRY AND I TRY AND I TRY!
Me: PLEASE STOP.
Willoughby: DON'T STOP ME NOOOW CUZ I'M HAVING SUCH A GOOD -
Me: Seriously.
Willoughby: Sorry.
Julien: Voila! Ho ho I em zee world's greatest chef!
Julien: And you! You, mah leetle cherry tomato! I will saute you in mah loooove!
Julien: Being French, I surrender to your seductive lips!
Julien: *mwah mwah ma cherie mwah*
Willoughby: Oh, Julien! That certainly was "well done"!
Julien: Ho ho! And yes, somehow eet was also beautifully "rare".
Me: Stop it with the puns or I'll grill you both.
After a makeover, DO WANT.
This is actually kinda hot. Except for, yanno, Willoughby's lips.
Julien: Magnefique! Zee best Ah've ever known!
Willoughby: You can beat my eggs any time. :D
Me: *facedesk*
Julien: Zees painting, she reminds me of zee moon over Paree!
Willoughby: Oh would that damn boy shut up about the paintings all ready?
Yep. She's still adorable.
Shelby: Look, don't let anyone see you here...Do you have the stuff?
Matchmaker: Yeah, I got it. You got the money?
Shelby: Bitch I don't owe you no money! Now get outta here before I show you my Pimp Hand Strong!
Me: O.o
Shelby: Look dear, I got you this! I think it would be better...for everyone...if you have this.
Roman: Thanks, mom! What is it?
Roman: IT'S POWERTHIRST!
Dude, Roman, you don't have to deep throat the bottle!
Roman: That's weird...why do I suddenly feel a strange aversion to homosexual subtext?
Because you ain't a vampire no more! That's why! I got tired of him almost-dying, and I DEFINITELY didn't want him almost-dying for all eternity. Besides, the household got like a collective +15000 aspiration points for this, lol.
Willoughby: Oh, isn't that wonderful. *approves*
Me: ...Willoughby?
What, precisely, are you approving?
GladOS: Welcome, Insert Name Here, to Aperture Science Labs (Legacy Branch)! Please be informed that you have been selected to participate in a very special test! You must be very lucky!
Hideo: Oh hai! I am very happy to contribute to all tests! Being Asian Stereotype, I am of course expert in all sorts of tests!
GladOS: That is great news. Now, the test you have been selected for is an Aperture Science Fertility Training Test! You are the only participant, so you will have to perform alone.
Hideo: ...Perform alone? Not even with tentacles?
That hand is terrifying.
...Oh, that's awkward.
GladOS: WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED THAT HUMAN FERTILISATION REQUIRES ME TO PARTICIPATE. D<
Hideo: So, you want baby?
GladOS: ...
Hideo: Then you very lucky you choose me! I am baby factory!
Please Do Not Disturb. Testing In Progress.
GladOS: We are very pleased with the results of this test! Test subject was very compliant, and all information needed was gathered! This was a triumph!
Uh, GladOS, your power source is showing...
GladOS: :DD
Meanwhile, downstairs...
Hideo: I AM NOT HAPPY! THIS LADY VERY RUDE TO ME! SHE SAY I ONLY PERPETUATE RACIST STEREOTYPES! I THINK YOU FIRE HER!
Margaret: Look, I don't know who the HELL you are, but you can just GET OUT OF MY FACE.
Margaret: Just hop back onto the stupid plane you flew in on, and...
Hideo: Oh, Simerican women are so sexy when mad!
Hideo: Haha, yes, plane I fly in on, very funny! You ever hear of bukkake? ;D
GladOS: I have heard of such a thing. I believe it is a way of preparing sauce for noodles, is it not?
Elsewhere, Q follows in Nariko's footsteps by painting less-than-clothed women...
Jean Luc practices the violin...
And I don't even know what the fuck Janeway is doing.
Hideo: WHY NO ONE FIRE THIS WOMAN?! YOU, BLOND MAN, YOU FIRE HER?
Roman: Uh...no?
Roman: I sure am glad I met that guy. +1000
Hideo: (in background) I DON'T LIKE THIS BUSINESS.
GladOS: Don't be angry, Insert Name Here. Aperture Science prides itself on having the best customer service in the whole company! I assure you the offending employee will be...terminated...at once. In the meantime, please feel free to partake in some of our calming Aperture Science Calming Pheremones, which I am able to produce!
Hideo: Ooh, very nice.
GladOS: I do not feel fertilized. Perhaps this test was a failure after all...
Me: Dude, I do NOT want you having kids.
Willoughby: What the hell are you talking about, little man? You had best NOT be talking about my daughter-in-law!
Hideo: W-well, I...
Willoughby: Kids these days...
Hideo: Oh, I am so complaining to manager about this...
Willoughby: You listen to me, buddy! The store's closed! So you can take your complaints and your kinky porn elsewhere!
After that, he said, "Look at the time. I'd better go." LOL.
So, the next day, the girls (not Jean Luc, mind) miss the bus because they're stupid. >.<
So I had Shelby drive them to school! Except...then I noticed that Q's icon showed her at school...and Janeway's didn't. She missed her RIDE also. I was pretty pissed, until I noticed why:
While on her way upstairs to MAKE HER PARENTS' BED, her HEAD got STUCK in the FLOOR. D:
So I forced an error on her, and Shelby had to drive her to school separately. >.<
Shelby: *HONK HONK* GET OUT OF THE WAY, YOU IMBECILE! MY GRANDCHILD HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL!
Mail Lady: Where the hell is that damn mailbox?
Expect slightly more frequent updates! I've all ready got up to 4.6 screenshotted and ready to caption, and I can't seem to stop playing. So, yeah! Also, is anyone having trouble with loading times? I've switched entirely to .jpg filetype, but since the pictures are a little smaller, I'm hoping that loading times will be comparable, if not a little faster.