The Dork Legacy 6.4
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
[ 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 ]
[ 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6 | 2.7 ]
[ 3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 ]
[ 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 4.7 ]
[ 5.0 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4 | 5.5 | 5.6 | 5.7 ]
[ 6.0 | 6.1 | 6.2 | 6.3 (Guest Update) ]
So. Kian likes Mumbles. I'm...not sure why.
Mumbles: HELL YES I AM FREE.
Kian: I will poke your soft, feathery tummy.
Mumbles: YOU WILL DIE A HORRIBLE, FEATHERY DE - oooh, actually, that's kind of nice.... n_n
Mumbles: BUT DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ANYONE I LIKE MY TUMMY RUBBED.
Kian: It will be our little secret.
Mumbles: YOU FUCKIN BET YOUR ASS, OR I WILL PECK YOU LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN PECKED BEFORE.
Kian: Now, now, Mumbles. We don't peck people. Good boy.
I think this picture speaks for itself.
Gizka: I'm AWESOME, RIGHT? You guys all TOTALLY LOVE ME, ON ACCOUNT OF I'M AWESOME!
Lister: Woo hoo! That was amazing!
Sarina: Did somebody say 'woohoo?' :D
Lister: Oh, well, I did actually, but I meant...oh forget it.
Gizka: Is this the part where your penis goes in her vagina? I learned all about this in health class! Can I see?
And now a montage of the kids growing up while doing their favourite things:
April.
Kian. (LOL THAT HAIR WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER)
And Zoe. Obviously a woman after my own heart.*
*Seriously, though, I wouldn't have stopped playing the sims, even to grow up. However, her autonomous choice of shirt pleases me.
Zoe: Woo! I look excellent!
April: Would you keep it down? I'm trying to check out my hot new body and you sound like our father.
Kian's sweet-ass makeover, and April has inherited Janewayism.
I'm sad to say that I've discovered I don't much care for the darker Maxis skintone, even the edited version. The contrast is too high for me, and no lipstick looks right. DX Oh yeah, and here's Zoe's makeover.
Here's April. Ironically, I also don't much care for my default s3 shade, either. I was going for more of a honey or olive tan colour, but it basically just looks greyish. But I am soo lazy to fix it.
April shows off her single nice point. You guys don't care about stats anymore, do you? Because I don't. lol.
Zoe: wtf man i just got my hurrs did!
Zoe: OH GOD MY REPUTATION IS RUINED.
April: HAHAHA YOUR MISFORTUNE AMUSES ME.
Zoe: OH HOLY CRAP OUR BROTHER LOOKS ALL DIFFERENT.
April: Excuse me, Mister Taxi? My hot sister and I need to go downtown now.
Guy on the Phone: Um...I'm not a taxi.
Zoe: Okay, let's get out of here.
April: If I look up, I can see what she's thinking.
Downtown, they promptly passed by a room in which someone was screeching horribly.
And made cheeseburgers.
And then they sat down to have a nice conversation over dinner.
And then, having found no suitable men to giggle over, decided to head home.
April: Okay, let's go, Mister Taxi.
Taxi Driver: Buckle your seatbelt first. And I'm not a taxi.
Back at home, Benrime does a bang-up Stevie Wonder impression.
Followed by one of her older sister.
Uncanny.
April reminded me that I bought them the old car to fix up. She's not into Tinkering, but kept rolling wants to work on the thing. IF YOU TURN INTO MEGAN FOX, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL TURN THIS LEGACY AROUND AND WE WILL NOT TO GO DISNEYLAND.
And now for some mp3 player spam.
Janeway: Hey kids. Keep the funny head tilt alive!
Obviously she's been taking fashion tips from brilliantcat's self sim.
HOLY CRAP A BIRTHDAY.
Benrime: I CAN SPEAK COHERENTLY! THAT MEANS...IT'S POETRY TIME!
Talortai: You mean, I get to keep my hands? SWEET. I SHALL PLAY WITH BLOCKS.
And lo and behold, their words were true.
Lister: FUCK. THESE KIDS AREN'T AS GOOD AS THE OTHER ONES.
Zoe: Doo doo doo! I love this song!
GlaDos: I am interested in this human concept of music. *turns on mp3 player*
GlaDos: Mmm, mm, not even angry...do do do so sincere right now...
Me: Uh. I didn't buy you an mp3 player.
THIS IS WHERE SHE GOT IT FROM. SHE SWIPED IT RIGHT OUT OF ZOE'S HAND. lol.
Zoe: Whatevs, boy time.
Zoe: So...you're my true love? Excuse me one moment.
Zoe: HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE HELL *IS* THAT THING?!
Zoe: Oh well, guess I'll take what I can get.
You guys ready for a creepy montage of my self sim making weird faces? If you make it through, you get a prize at the end! Here we go:
In the end, I decided that no, I really can't adopt any more cats. Even though that one looks pretty excited to be considered. But why did I take pictures of my self sim at a pet store? Well...
Ready for your surprise?
Meet Dieter (that's deeter, not dyater), courtesy of Munchies @ MTS2.
The cute, i r ded from it.
Townie: Aw, damn, it's raining.
Q: It is? I don't see any rain.
Townie #2: Sweet! It's raining!
Me: NO IT ISN'T, YOU GUYS.
Me: Oh Judah, you look lovely today!
Judah: Oh, why thank you...wait, do I know you?
The Dork Stalker: How come SHE gets to talk to him? I want to!
The Dork Stalker: And then he said, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?!"
Judah: Hmm. I don't get it, I thought sea cucumbers couldn't talk?
Me: I should really marry that guy into this legacy someday.
Dieter: OM NOM NOM.
Dieter: Well, here I am in my new home.
Dieter: Oooh delicious kibbles!
Frankenstein: Okay, seriously, wtf is that thing.
Frankenstein: You're not one of me, right?
Dieter: OOH ANOTHER CREATURE. It appears to be hostile, but not overly intelligent.
Frankenstein: You said that out loud. You know that, right?
Dieter: I shall now engage in my culture's greeting.
Both: *sniff sniff sniff*
Dieter: Only been here five minutes and all ready I have a friend! :P
Frankenstein: I still can't figure out what the hell that thing is...
LESS PPL IN THE HOUSE PLZ.
Zoe stays behind, because being the failure that she is, she did NOT make overachiever the first day of her new job. LOSER. GEEZ. :P
YOU CAN'T EVEN SCORE A POINT CORRECTLY.
Adora-Belle: DUDE, YOU'VE BEEN SPYING ON ME YOUR WHOLE LIFE. FUCKING STOP IT ALL READY.
Sarina: Oooh, this is better than my romance novel.
Q: Well, if it's bothered you so much, why didn't you call the cops?
Q: Unless it's because you're a FILTHY EXHIBITIONIST.
Q: YOU DISGUST ME. I'M NEVER SPYING ON YOU AGAIN.
Me too, darling. Me too.
I then proceeded to watch this display for, like, the next ten minutes:
Until...
DAMMIT. FLORA. YOU WERE GONNA MARRY THE NEXT GEN.
In their shock and despair, everyone formed a line to interact with the new puppy.
Q: You know, Zoe, your gormless excuse for a mother...
Q: Got hit by lightning in college. I think it actually made her smarter! Which doesn't say much for her.
I know I always kiss my grandpa with a wide open mouth.
Also, Q and Judah are very involved grandparents.
I just love this lighting. It's so ~picturesque~.
UH, WOW, BENRIME.
This is shot from the PoV of Sarina's vajayjay.
Q: Good girl! Good job for eating that dumb blonde lady!
Me: DON'T ENCOURAGE IT. I LIKED HER.
I decided I wasn't ready to have Q be as old as she was.
Also, those with weak stomachs may want to skip the following picspam:
MMMM, DON'T YOU WANNA JUST SUCK ON 'EM?!
Q: Well, actually...
Cannibal!
Q: MMMM, GELFLING ESSENCE. I FEEL MYSELF GETTING YOUNGER.
This was just cute.
Because you guys needed a closeup of Q's old lady rage.
Q: I sure am darn mad at that fuckwit exhibitionist! *wink*
Me: Uh...
STOP STEALING YOUR KIDS' IPODS.
Mumbles: I'M NOT GETTING ENOUGH SCREENTIME. THIS LEGACY IS RETARDED.
Mumbles: YEAH, YOU HEARD ME, I USED RETARD IN A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION. I'M A FUCKING BIRD, AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE.
Mumbles: You gonna report me to those simsecret pansies? HUH? ARE YA?! DID THE MEAN OLD COCKATOO HURT YOUR WUSSY-ASS FEELINGS?!
Mumbles: YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS, YA FUCKIN LOSER. COME HERE AND SAY THAT SHIT TO MY -
Mumbles: Wait, what the fuck is that thing?
Dieter: I LIKE TO CHEW THINGS! 8D!!
ps - any opinions of overly vulgar parrots do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the author of this legacy, or the Fox TV network.
Zoe: Hey little fishes! Hello there! Hello!
Zoe: Oh, where did I go? Where did I go?
Zoe: HERE I - oh holy shit where'd all the fish go?
Zoe: Oh, they're up at the top! Why are you upside down? Silly fishies! :)
I DIDN'T BUY YOU AN MP3 PLAYER EITHER.
Q: I am your mistress now. You will fetch this stick for me.
Dieter: Oooh ooh! A stick! A STICK A STICK A STICK I LOVE STICKS!
Oh, wow, she actually threw it. For a change.
Dieter: OH GOD YES A STICK!
Dieter: YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME!
Dieter: Okay I got it! Now what?
I could submit these to cuteoverload.com, y/y?
Q: That'll do, pig. That'll do.
Dieter: NO, MY STICK, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. *fang*