The Dork Legacy 6.1
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
[ 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 ]
[ 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6 | 2.7 ]
[ 3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 ]
[ 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 4.7 ]
[ 5.0 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4 | 5.5 | 5.6 | 5.7 ]
[ 6.0 ]
What happened last time? Well, I'm going to try to get this all out in one run-on sentence:
Last time Lister and Sarina moved home, got rid of Lister's ex-fiancee and then got married in front of Cat Brilliant with cornrows, whereafter Sarina got both pregnant AND bitched at by Q, which by the way happened in their new house because the old one got glitched because the whole neighborhood is probably gonna turn into a BFBVFS.
Judah: Hallo, my name is Judah Schvatzaneggah, uhnd I am here to PUMP YOU AHP.
In other news, I watched for nearly three sim hours as Lister balleted away, staring obliviously at his girlfriend, who was waiting hopelessly to mack on him.
Finally, I deleted the barre. I'm surprised he didn't cry.
After a few more hours of watching this, I pondered buying the barre again so that one of them would do something else.
Meanwhile, Margaret is possibly changing from The Beast into a rather metrosexual prince.
OH YEAH BABY.*
*Is this not SUCH a classic pin-up shot? :D
Roman still loves this thing more than any other object or being ever. Except maybe Don't Wake the Llama.
You know, I've called people by the wrong names a lot,* but I'm pretty sure I've never accidentally called someone MY name before. Especially if their name was actually Sarina.
*I had the misfortune to once refer to my female history teacher as "Uncle Kevin."
"Here's the item I'm developing. It's a magical picture box! You turn it on, and it will show you moving pictures that make noise! It'll revolutionize the education industry as we know it!"
Sarina: WOW, I GET A TV AND MY NAME IS BRAD NOW?! AWESOME!
Face. Palm.
Lister: Barre, bar...they're kind of the same thing.
Q: Look what I can do, son! :D
Lister: Oh, that's great, mom. WHY CAN SHE JUGGLE BUT I CAN'T PLAY ON THE BARRE?!
Just to remind you that Sarina is pregnant. And kind of dumb.
Hiya Shelbyyyy! <3
So, as most of you have probably forgotten, the Dorks have two cats, Boo, and Frankenstein.
Thing is...they're both girls. So when I saw this, I was like, "Well...hey, why not? I like lesbian cats, I guess."
Boo: How exactly are we supposed to do this?
If only they could do this with pandas!
No sooner had Frankenstein gotten her lesbo kitty woohoo on, then the Big Bad Wolf happens by. And dissed her GF.
Frankie lost, though. D: And I got all sad.
Frankenstein: Fuck that asshole. He can has another ass kicking. Is gift.
Not to make two lolcat references in a row, but: Jumproping? U mite be doin it rong.
Modest Pregnancy: Ur doin' it -
Sarina: WOW LOOK AT ALL THE PINK STUFF! :D
Roman: Oh, hey, I'm gonna be a great-grandad!
Roman: Wait...why the hell was she naked?
Lister: Girl, I'm gonna play you like SSX3.
Sarina: Like...on the TV with a controller?
Well, kind of.
Verdana and Komei (4th gen spare and spouse, for those just joining us) invited themselves over.
Komei: My wife is by that cow thing...
Komei: Guess they must be friends!
Verdana: Ewwww, its nose is wet! Get this thing offa me!
Komei: Oh, you are SO hot when you almost get eaten by anthropomorphic animal plant things.
Margaret: My husband is awesome. :D
I know this is hilarious and everything, but COME ON MAXIS. DON'T BE SO GODDAMN LAZY.
Sarina is still naked.
And also, at this point, I realised that I put transparent tiling in the bathroom floor. LOL.
This picture makes me want to take a nice hot bath. <3
Q: Hey mom, I have a surprise for you!
GlaDos: *stalks*
Um. Wtf.
DOUBLE WTF.
GlaDos: What the hell just happened?
Me: I DUNNO.
No comment.
On second thought, I should have saved that "no comment" for this picture.
Oh, and yes, that IS Lister's ex-fiancee. She comes by all the time.
GlaDos: I regret that Aperture Science Laboratories (A Trusted Friend In Science) did not equip me with a camera. This would be a perfect picture.
Jasmin: lol, I totally hate your stupid son, too!
Judah: Heehee, he is kind of dumb, huh?
Margaret: Hello little baby! How about you kick your mom incessantly until she puts some clothes on, hm? :D
These two are rarely not in the same room. One of them will sit around and literally do nothing, rather than be far away from the other. It's adorable. And kind of annoying.
Hey, FUCK YOU, BUDDY. I didn't invite you AT ANY POINT. When Margaret ASKED YOU TO LEAVE, YOU DIDN'T. UGH.
Cutest picture ever, yes?
Yawn. Seriously, I ended up getting Lister a job so these two would EVER do ANYTHING ELSE.
Lister: Damn, that is one fine pregnant ass!
GUYS.
Sarina: DON'T YOU KNOW SEX INDUCES LABOR?!
Lister: Holy crap, she said something smart! *has heart attack*
Kristin: Since I'm here, I'll be surprised too! :D
I think this kind of speaks for itself.
Sarina: Hi, baby! :D
Kristin: OHMYGOSH, DID HE REALLY?
Rimmer: Oh, you bet he did!
So, all of the babies this gen are named after characters in Dreamfall: The Longest Journey, because I've been playing it recently.
This is Kian (technically pronounced KEY-in, but I prefer KAI-an). GO AWAY ALIEN EYES. S3, black hair.
This is Zoe. Mom's eyes and hair, and Engram's geneticized S4 maxis/Louis blend!
Rimmer: So, I heard you did really well in college.
Kristin: OH COME ON, you were THERE. If you're gonna make small talk, do it RIGHT. >[
Hm. Favoritism all ready? Or...anti-favoritism, I suppose? Come on, Sarina, there are freaking like 10 people in the house, but you have to GO OUTSIDE to PUT THE BABY ON THE GROUND DURING THE RAIN?
Even GlaDos, Miss-I-Love-Hugs-And-Children, doesn't love Kian. D:
And here's April! Judah's eyes, red hair, S3.
GlaDos: If you're finished birthing, Test Subject Sarina, I'll just head on inside, now!
Who gets sick of cats-on-counters pictures? Not me!
Sarina doesn't much like her makeover.
Sarina: I don't look motherly, I look like a slutty secretary! D:
So I toned it down a little.
I don't really feel like I need to tell you that Sarina and the cats are BFF. I think you could probably have guessed.
Lister: I wonder if I'll see any aliens...
Me: Well, that's kind of the idea, sweetie.
Oh, wow, really? Well, okay.
Sarina: Wow, thanks, Mrs. D! That's really nice of you to say! Don't let your guard down...she'll attack at any moment...
Q: This "being nice" thing is kind of fun! :D
Sarina: Is she gonna kill me?
Q: TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE!
Sarina: HAH HAH! HAH! OH GOD, THIS IS SO SCARY!
Sarina: Heh, heh, no, seriously, stop, you're freaking me out.
Poor Q. She brought it on herself, though.
Awww.
Q and Judah are still going strong.
It's LESBIAN KITTEN TIME.
I named them Trellis, Umbrella, and...er...Toothpick? Something like that. I only ended up keeping Umbrella.
Judah: You know, painting is kind of like knitting, Q, you have to be focused -
Q: Shut up.
Judah: Sorry. *pause* I guess it's more like sculpting, anyway, because you -
Q: I said SHUT UP.
If anyone ever Share Hobby Tips'd me in real life, I'd end them.
Lister: Ooh, look, Orion!
Sarina: Hey, I think Mumbles escaped from his cage...
Mumbles: *from far away* I'M FREE, BITCHES. FREE!
Uh-oh. And guess who came running out to see him get taken?
No one. Sarina actually WENT INSIDE as the cutscene was going. >.<
To have tickly fights with her grandfather-in-law. Hm.
Is it in too poor of bad taste for me to make a BangBus reference?
>.<
Sarina: HEY MRS D! COME HERE!
Q: I'm here, what is it?
Sarina: Look what I~ found~...
Ohhhh. I forgot I put that mistletoe there. That explains a lot.
Q: Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?
She was. COME ON, YOU KNEW THEY HAD THE HOTS FOR EACH OTHER.
-.-
Lister: Oh baby...I just love a girl who kisses my mom...
My Brain: *explodes*
I guess...whatever gets you going...
That's it. I'm done. I can't take any more of this. I'll see you next time. D: