70 May the Force be with you
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #70 May the Force be with you
Rating: PG
Summary: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” - Yoda
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31 #32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37 #38 #39 #40 #41 #42 #43 #44 #45 #46 #47 #48 #49 #50 #51 #52 #53 #54 #55 #56 #57 #58 #59 #60 #61 #62 #63 #64 #65 #66 #67 #68 #69
After sleeping till noon, making them some brunch and watching Luke fall asleep again, Reid willed himself to his office. While his computer was getting ready to do some serious work, Reid leaned back in his chair and smiled. He felt a lot better after his rest. After signing into Memorial’s network, he activated the online messenger and pulled the latest files. And frowned.
A little bleep made him notice an incoming message.
- As you can see, I didn’t leave you much work to do.
Reid grinned. That was quite an understatement.
- I see that. Were you bored?
The answer came immediately.
- Needed the distraction. How’s Luke?
- Better. Sleeping. How’s…. Reid stopped typing. Damn…why couldn’t he remember the guy’s name? He rushed through the surgery records and found what he was looking for.
- … Kevin?
- No change. Very low-spirited.
Reid ran his fingers through his hair. Comforting another human being wasn’t his strongest point. All he had to offer was his honesty.
- I would be too, in his position.
Gary took awhile to respond.
- Yeah, I guess you have a point. It’s a lot to deal with.
- It is. How are you coping?
- Not really. I’m avoiding. Keeping myself very busy by doing your paper work.
Reid smiled.
- I’m not complaining. But do take care of yourself.
- Thanks. Trying. Gwen is a big help.
Reid’s fingers danced above the keyboard for a minute. He made a mental note to acknowledge Gwen the next time he saw her. She had turned herself into an important force within his team. Maybe he could think of something special to do. He could ask Luke…
When he looked up, he saw the man in question slowly making his way out of the bedroom and he frowned. Luke shouldn’t be out of bed. So he quickly answered Gary - She is. Need to sign off for now. Be back. - and left his room.
“And where does Mr. Snyder thinks he’s going?” Reid pulled his stern face and Luke looked shy.
“I needed to stretch my legs, so I thought I’d make us some coffee.”
“Hmmm,” Reid walked up to him and felt his forehead. “You look better.”
“I feel better,” Luke assured him and softly slapped Reid’s cheek. “You want coffee too?”
Reid gave in. “Love some. But if you don’t feel well, call me.” He gave a quick kiss and returned to his office.
It didn’t take Luke long to return with two mugs. After he placed them on Reid’s desk, he gave the chair a little push and Reid knew what was coming. He opened his arms and Luke sat on his lap, with his cheek on Reid’s shoulder. This was Luke needing a hug, so Reid wrapped his arms around the blond and held him tight.
He knew the drill by now. No words were necessary. After some time, Luke was ready to speak.
“When I made your coffee, the smell of it made me nauseous again. So I made some tea for myself.”
Reid nodded. “Sounds like a smart thing to do.”
Luke didn’t answer, put started plucking on Reid’s shirt.
“This is one of my favorite shirts you’re stripping bare,” Reid teased and Luke’s fingers stopped.
“Sorry,” he whispered and Reid pulled a lock of Luke’s hair.
“I was kidding. What’s up, Luke? Can’t let go?”
“I guess,” Luke shrugged. “I feel so dumb.” He reached for Reid’s mug and gave it to him. “It’s getting cold.”
Again Reid knew the process. Luke was stalling. Not yet ready to enter that scary and overwhelming world also known as emotions.
So they both sipped their hot drinks, until Luke took the next step.
“Why do I always manage to mess things up?”
“Because you’re human?” Reid tried.
Luke was not impressed, though. He softly slapped Reid’s chest.
“No pep talk.”
“I see, you want to beat yourself up some more,” Reid softly sneered and it made Luke look up to him.
“Is that how it feels to you?”
Reid gave him a nod. “It is. You’re clinging to the fact that you made a mistake. But guess what, Luke? We all make them. That’s life. And in this case we managed to get through it. Done. What’s the use of going over it again and again? We can’t go back and change it. And we don’t need to. Yes, we hit a rough spot, but we’re still here.”
“It can’t be that easy,” Luke muttered.
“Well, excuse me, but I think it can,” Reid disagreed. “Give me one good reason why you should hang onto that whole Oh-my-god-I-made-a-mistake-and-I’m-so-stupid scenario.”
“Because that will teach me to make different decisions the next time,” Luke put forward.
“Really? You think blaming and punishing yourself will do that?”
Luke was obviously surprised. “Of course. That’s how we learn.”
“Learn what? How stupid we can be? How awful it is to make a mistake?”
“I’m sorry,” Luke sounded tired, “You lost me. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
“I personally never believed in that whole punishment system,” Reid tried to explain. His voice was soft and relaxed and he could feel the effect on Luke. He snuggled up to Reid as a five year old, listening to a bedtime story.
“It makes us scared to make a mistake and it makes us tread on eggshells. It even makes some people try to hide the mistakes, so they turn into these weak extracts of who they are and could be.”
Luke slowly nodded. “I don’t understand how you combine that with your striving for the best.”
“Being the best doesn’t mean you can’t make mistakes. The mistake isn’t the issue. It’s how you deal with it. If you’re willing to take responsibility, for instance. I think that’s where the learning is. Not in the beating yourself up.”
“Never thought of it that way,” Luke whispered. “Did you always feel like this?”
Reid gave a quick nod. “I did.”
“Man, you must have given your parents and teachers a hard time,” Luke laughed and Reid joined him.
“Of course I did. But I also learned to take their useless sanctions as ‘their way of dealing with it’. I played their game, but not by their rules.”
Luke took a deep breath. “I love you.”
Reid smiled, pulled him close and kissed his temple. “I love you.”
“So the nightmare is really over?”
“To me it is. Over and done with. And please, do yourself a big favor and stop focusing on the mistakes. You are a force of good, Skywalker. That’s your essence. Focus on that.”
“I will, Yoda.” Luke softly squeezed Reid’s nose and then pulled Reid’s head in for a lazy kiss.
“May the Force be with you,” Reid grinned, before he deepened the kiss.
Their afternoon was lazy. Reid reconnected his Memorial messenger and left Gary - no longer online - a note of thanks. His co-worker had saved him a lot of time and effort and the timing couldn’t be better.
He was working on some paperwork for the upcoming board meeting, when Luke came back in.
“Sorry to disturb you again…” Luke lowered his head, “but I wondered how you’d feel about inviting Gwen and Will over for dinner?”
Reid smiled. “I’m not dismissing the idea. What did you have in mind?”
“Well…Gwen was a big help, yesterday, so I just wanted her to see that we’re okay…” Luke still looked shy, “So maybe we could order something in?”
“I could go to Al’s and get us a load of chili. Do they like that too?”
Luke smiled and nodded. “They do. But then you have to go out and…”
“…and I don’t care. It’s not a problem…”
“Okay, then I won’t turn it into one,” Luke grinned. “But first let me check if they’re available.”
“You do that. But I’m going out to get some chili later, no matter what. Talking about it made me hungry.”
Luke laughed lovingly and leaning back in his chair, Reid listened to Luke’s voice on the phone. He didn’t know how the young Mr. Snyder worked his magic, but somehow Reid was turning into a social being. When Luke informed him Gwen and Will were coming - leaving Hallie on a sleepover at Paul’s - he found himself actually looking forward to an evening with friends. And not just because of the chili.