69 Crazy day in hell
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #69 Crazy day in hell
Rating: PG
Summary: “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” - Nathaniel Branden
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31 #32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37 #38 #39 #40 #41 #42 #43 #44 #45 #46 #47 #48 #49 #50 #51 #52 #53 #54 #55 #56 #57 #58 #59 #60 #61 #62 #63 #64 #65 #66 #67 #68
He could hear Luke’s voice as Reid approached room 101. The door was ajar and it gave Reid the opportunity to eavesdrop. And he did.
“…not a good idea.” Luke sounded upset. Again or still?
“But Reid will be at work. We could look after you, make sure you eat well…”
“I caused some serious problems in my home and I can’t fix them outside my home, mom. It’s as simple as that. Unless Reid wants me gone, of course.” Luke’s tone of voice made it clear he thought that was a definite option.
“This was exactly what I was afraid of,” Lily muttered. “That Reid would grow tired of all the emotional stuff and crush you in the process.”
“May I remind you that Luke started the crushing?” Holden stated calmly, making Reid grin.
“I’m such a dumb ass,” Luke sounded sad. “I think I hurt Reid more by giving back the ring than with the suspicion.”
“You could be right about that,” Holden agreed, without sharing anything about his conversation with Reid.
“The most stupid part of it all is…when I came to see Reid, I was worried. I had a talk with grandma about Thanksgiving and I suggested to start a new tradition at our place. Reid’s and mine, I mean. But she wants it at the farm, as usual, and on my way over here, I realized I was thinking up arguments to make Reid come to the farm. And then I decided against that, because I don’t like that pushy side of me. So I decided to show Reid the respect he shows me. And I walk in, I see him with that doctor and all my good intentions were gone and forgotten. Just like that. It is so frustrating. For some reason I can’t get it right.”
Reid felt his heart opening up. At least Luke had every intention to treat Reid right. That made all the difference to him and he stepped into the room.
He saw Luke’s eyes light up and he gave him a quick smile. Holden rose to his feet and looked at Lily.
“Come on, Lily. Let’s give these men some privacy.”
Holden passed Reid and gave him a slap on his back. He smiled when he saw the look in Reid’s eyes and the quick nod he gave Holden.
“I’m glad,” Holden whispered in Reid’s ear before he stepped out of the room, followed by Lily. Reid, still on the threshold, shut the door and walked up to the bed.
“So, self-proclaimed dumb ass,” Reid softly said, while pushing some locks from Luke’s face, “how are you feeling?”
“Better, now you are here…”
Reid nodded and pulled a chair near the bed.
“You eavesdropped?”
Reid smiled unashamed. “I did.”
“Hear anything worthwhile?”
“I did,” Reid repeated, looking at Luke’s fingers over his. “That made me come in.”
“I’m glad,” Luke gave him a shy smile, obviously still very upset. Reid could see the panic in the brown eyes and Luke’s question didn’t came as a surprise.
“Do you want me to move out?”
Reid looked at him, slowly shaking his head.
“That’s not what I want, Luke. I never asked your ring back. It was your decision.”
Luke fingers squeezed Reid’s hand. His whole body language was screaming misery and Reid couldn’t watch it anymore. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Luke’s ring. He saw his blond tear up when he saw the golden band.
“I’ve been so stupid, Reid. I can’t believe myself.” Luke whispered and he sniffed when Reid took his hand and put the ring back on his finger.
“Let’s say it wasn’t one of your best moves ever,” Reid agreed and they both chuckled.
“I have been over this over and over again and I really don’t understand why I removed the ring. I’m so indescribably happy with it. I really treasure it…”
“I think you wanted to lash out and hurt me as much - or maybe even more - than you though I hurt you,” Reid said calmly, leaning forward and letting his head rest on the bed. He smiled when he felt Luke’s fingers softly playing with his curls.
“Oh God, that sounds like Damian, so you’re probably right…” Luke whispered. “I don’t want that to be me.”
“Well, that’s too bad, because it is. At least it’s a part of who you are. But that doesn’t mean you have to act on it, right?”
Luke smiled. “True. But I really didn’t think it through. It just happened.”
“Next time I will call you on it,” Reid grinned.
“Let’s hope there won’t be a next time,” Luke was back to the whispering and looked surprised when Reid laughed.
“Oh, there definitely will be a next time. And who knows. Maybe I will be the dumb ass then.”
“You? The genius one of this couple?” Luke teased.
“Hmmm, if you put it that way…” Reid rolled his eyes, still with his head on the bed.
“You look tired.”
“I am.” Reid nodded.
“I don’t know how long they will keep me here. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep… do you have surgery tomorrow?”
Reid frowned. “I don’t think so.”
He grabbed his phone to check his schedule and again hit the wrong button. Or maybe it was exactly the right one.
“Hey you, I’m Luke and you and I…we’re the best thing that ever happened to each other.”
This time Reid stopped the video, but smiled at the screen.
“This video has been very useful,” Reid admitted, while finding his schedule. “Wow, great timing. It’s Paper Day tomorrow. I’ll work at home, so I can keep an eye on you.”
Luke picked up his phone and showed Reid a little icon on the screen.
“That’s your video…and I played it over and over again. Trying to believe we’d be okay.”
“And…could you…believe, I mean?”
“It was mixed. I couldn’t believe we could end, but I also realized I really pushed you to the limit. And you know, Reid… I heard you about the whole changing thing, but I’m not sure I agree. I mean, you’ve changed, but you still feel like you. And I’ve changed too and I want to change even more. Not to be someone I’m not, but to be a more fine-tuned version of who I am. As I said before…I don’t like the pushy side of me. I really want to work on that.”
Reid nodded. “Fine-tuned version. I like that. It reminds me of something Bob said to me when he offered the Chief of Staff job. I want you to take this position, work on your people skills and be a better you.”
“Exactly,” Luke nodded. “That’s what I mean. I want to become a better me. So that’s not molding, right?”
“I guess not,” Reid gave it a thought, “It’s molding when you change something to please somebody else.”
Luke smiled. “Out of fear of not being accepted otherwise,” he gave Reid a nod, “I did that with Noah.”
“I know,” Reid rolled his eyes. “I really don’t want that for us.”
Luke’s thumb caressed Reid’s cheekbone.
“Me neither. But it’s a thin line, because I feel really embarrassed about my behaviour and I don’t want to put you through anything like that ever again.”
“I don’t have the answers either, but maybe we should accept that these things will happen and just hope that we will find our way out of it.”
“That’s scary,” Luke flinched.
“It is,” Reid agreed. “But I’m game if you are.”
Luke gave him a radiant smile. “I’m in.” He raised his hand and watched the ring. “I’m totally in.”
“I’m glad. So how about getting you home and giving you something nicer to eat than… what was that?” Reid pulled a face at the empty bowl on the night stand.
“I think it was some sort of poultice. It wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t very tasty either. So going home…yes please. And not just because of the food…”
As if he was summoned, Dr. Rainsby came into the room and smiled when he saw both men at ease.
“Mr. Snyder, I see you obediently ate your pap and drank your water, so how do you feel now?”
“Much better,” Luke’s eyes were full of life and joy and Dr. Rainsby smiled.
“I can see that. How about you, Dr. Oliver… you look like you can fall asleep as we speak.”
Reid smiled. “I do. So if we can go home, that would be…”
“Yes, you can. But you’re not driving and neither is Mr. Snyder. I’ll order a cab.”
Reid gave him a nod. He knew his colleague was right and looking out for him.
“Thanks. That would be great.”
It was good to be home. In bed. With Luke in his arms. Reid watched the sleeping face. Luke was smiling and so was he. It was a crazy day in hell, but at least they made an effort to find their way to heaven again. It was a start.