17 Making new connections
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #17 Making new connections
Rating: PG
Summary: Kim gets it. And so does Luke.
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for nurturing my nouns
Disclaimers: see chapters #1 to #16
The day ended as it had begun. The blond head on his arm, Luke’s hand on his chest, his leg tangled with his, his even breathing against his shoulder and very enjoyable memories of their love making. It soothed him. After the craziness of today, it was comforting to find himself in a familiar setting. Like a beacon, in a turbulent sea.
It wasn’t all bad. He smiled, thinking about dinner. If the invitation had been just about Kim, he wouldn’t have bothered and not even the prospect of food would have enticed him. But this was Bob’s wife and that was enough reason to make an effort.
Reid remembered Bob’s declaration of admiration word for word and even thinking about it, made him feel… dare he think it? … emotional. There. He thought it.
His own father hadn’t felt this kind of connection with him. He was pretty sure about that. Reid couldn’t remember making his father laugh. Ever. About anything. He’d make him smile. With outstanding grades. With winning. But that was about as far as he came. After his parents died, he just put the whole distant relationship into his ‘Accepting things he couldn’t change’-file and was done with it. Until today.
Today he saw a glimpse of how a father-son relationship could feel and it had thrown him a little. Well, it’d thrown him a lot, actually. So he’d felt a little tense, walking towards the Hughes residence. As if he had to live up to Bob’s expectations, all of a sudden. Had Luke known? He wouldn’t be surprised. His whispered “Just be yourself” was exactly what Reid needed to hear to relax.
And dinner turned out pretty good. No mindless chatter, no meaningless twaddle, but fundamental conversations about life in general and Reid’s life in particular. Kim wasn’t joking around when she’d said she wanted to know more about him. And she wasn’t pussyfooting around either.
Reid chuckled, recalling her calm and direct inquiry. About anything and everything. Like if he knew any staff members he would like to replace.
Just be yourself, Luke had said and so he answered with a question of his own:
“Are you afraid I’ll fire Chris?” He had smiled after seeing her light blush and he had continued: “You don’t have to worry about that. If Chris can handle working with me, I would be very fortunate to have him on board. Despite my personal feelings, Chris is a good and well-loved pediatrician, so I see no reason to let him go.”
“I’m glad,” she had admitted. “Not only that he doesn’t have to worry about his job, but also that you acknowledge his skills and reputation, in spite of your differences. But there’s no one else you’d like to replace?”
He managed to baffle Bob and Kim with his answer.
“Maybe the leaky one…”
“Who?”
Bob had almost choked on his food and Reid had just taken another bite, so Luke did the honors and explained: “He means Gretchen Taylor.”
“But why is she the leaky one? Does she gossip?”
Reid, still eating, shook his head and Luke smiled at the confusion on Bob’s face.
“No, she cries very easily.”
For a minute Bob and Kim just looked at Reid and then they both laughed out loud.
“I notice you like to replace all normal conversation with very creative metaphors and alternatives,” Kim had returned to her ‘interview mode’, “Is that a conscious choice?”
“It’s more like second nature, by now,” Reid had to admit, “but yes, it is based on a conscious decision.” That had the attention of everybody present.
Bob had asked for all of them: “Why?”
“Because it makes the brain go ksutjeee…” he had put his two index fingers together and vibrated as if he was electrocuted.
“The brain likes to make all kind of connections and when you stay in your comfort zone, use the same kind of words over and over again, or just exist on automatic pilot, the brain will doze off. And to me, that’s a shameful mistreatment of something so magnificent. So I like to stimulate the brain.”
Bob had looked at him with an even deeper understanding and Kim had nodded. “It starts to make sense to me,” she saw him with new eyes, he could tell. “But is there no other way you could stimulate those new connections?”
Reid had laughed.
“It all depends on the intensity of the dozing off,” he had replied with a look full of mischief, “sometimes a little nudge is sufficient and sometimes a verbal bulldozer isn’t enough.”
Kim laughed and her next question was the exact moment it happened. They had both been aware of it. The Big Turnaround.
“So, tell me. Have I already moved myself from the bulldozer section to the nudge side?” and Reid had nodded to her. His “You’re getting there,” was teasing, but warm and accessible and they had all shared in a relaxed laughter.
Kim had turned to Bob and she had given him a nod.
“I get it now. I really get it.”
The whole ‘ksutjeee-principle’, as Luke had called it in the car, turned out to be another important piece of the puzzle for his boyfriend. To Reid’s surprise.
“But I told you earlier,” Reid had pointed out, and Luke had shrugged.
“I must have missed that one.”
“Remember your mom’s dinner party, where I didn’t even get close to food, I might add?”
Luke put on a grave face. It was not one of his fondest memories.
“I remember” and silently added: but I wish I didn’t.
Reid had felt it and had went astray for a moment.
“That conversation was the worst ever,” he said and wasn’t surprised by Luke’s “I agree.”
“My heart just sank when I saw you and Noah together in your bedroom,” Reid had remembered how he’d felt, and could recall his desperation and frustration.
“Your invitation had given me hope, especially after your remark about ‘the possibility of being part of something real’. So I showed up and again I was the odd one out.”
“You were not!”
“Excuse me. Did you bother to greet me, when you saw me? Nope. You turned to Noah and started explaining - or should I say apologizing - to him why I was there.”
“Oh God,” Luke had whispered and after parking the car at their home, he hadn’t moved.
“So I switched to my traditional self-defense mechanism and pretended I didn’t care. Pretended that the picture of you and Noah on your nightstand didn’t made me nauseous. That the thought of you and Noah making love on that bed didn’t make my skin crawl. So I wasn’t joking. I was hurting.”
“And I didn’t notice,” Luke voice had trembled.
“No, you didn’t. You thought the worst of me,” Reid had caressed Luke’s leg. “And I’m so glad we’re passed that stage.”
Luke had smiled. “Me too. But I still can’t remember talking about the ‘ksutjeee-principle’ or something like that.”
“Well, you said you wished I could be a real human being for once and then you concluded that I couldn’t. Remember what I said?”
Luke had nodded and Reid had seen the sudden comprehension. “I choose not to,” Luke had looked at him, shaking his head. “We were not on the same wavelength that day, that’s for sure. I really didn’t get it. And instead of asking why you choose not to, I pushed you out.”
“Well, there was a plus in all of this,” Reid had grinned, “My brain was very stimulated that afternoon.”
“How about stimulating other parts of our body?” Luke had asked, eager to change to subject.
With an assenting growl Reid had kissed him firmly and it took a while before they made it out of the car.
Reid smiled, kissing the locks of his sleeping beauty. Yes, it was a crazy day, but a productive one. His brain had made some new connections. And so had his heart.
It was a good day.
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16
Author: SYLnl
Title: #17 Making new connections
Rating: PG
Summary: Kim gets it. And so does Luke.
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for nurturing my nouns
Disclaimers: see chapters #1 to #16
The day ended as it had begun. The blond head on his arm, Luke’s hand on his chest, his leg tangled with his, his even breathing against his shoulder and very enjoyable memories of their love making. It soothed him. After the craziness of today, it was comforting to find himself in a familiar setting. Like a beacon, in a turbulent sea.
It wasn’t all bad. He smiled, thinking about dinner. If the invitation had been just about Kim, he wouldn’t have bothered and not even the prospect of food would have enticed him. But this was Bob’s wife and that was enough reason to make an effort.
Reid remembered Bob’s declaration of admiration word for word and even thinking about it, made him feel… dare he think it? … emotional. There. He thought it.
His own father hadn’t felt this kind of connection with him. He was pretty sure about that. Reid couldn’t remember making his father laugh. Ever. About anything. He’d make him smile. With outstanding grades. With winning. But that was about as far as he came. After his parents died, he just put the whole distant relationship into his ‘Accepting things he couldn’t change’-file and was done with it. Until today.
Today he saw a glimpse of how a father-son relationship could feel and it had thrown him a little. Well, it’d thrown him a lot, actually. So he’d felt a little tense, walking towards the Hughes residence. As if he had to live up to Bob’s expectations, all of a sudden. Had Luke known? He wouldn’t be surprised. His whispered “Just be yourself” was exactly what Reid needed to hear to relax.
And dinner turned out pretty good. No mindless chatter, no meaningless twaddle, but fundamental conversations about life in general and Reid’s life in particular. Kim wasn’t joking around when she’d said she wanted to know more about him. And she wasn’t pussyfooting around either.
Reid chuckled, recalling her calm and direct inquiry. About anything and everything. Like if he knew any staff members he would like to replace.
Just be yourself, Luke had said and so he answered with a question of his own:
“Are you afraid I’ll fire Chris?” He had smiled after seeing her light blush and he had continued: “You don’t have to worry about that. If Chris can handle working with me, I would be very fortunate to have him on board. Despite my personal feelings, Chris is a good and well-loved pediatrician, so I see no reason to let him go.”
“I’m glad,” she had admitted. “Not only that he doesn’t have to worry about his job, but also that you acknowledge his skills and reputation, in spite of your differences. But there’s no one else you’d like to replace?”
He managed to baffle Bob and Kim with his answer.
“Maybe the leaky one…”
“Who?”
Bob had almost choked on his food and Reid had just taken another bite, so Luke did the honors and explained: “He means Gretchen Taylor.”
“But why is she the leaky one? Does she gossip?”
Reid, still eating, shook his head and Luke smiled at the confusion on Bob’s face.
“No, she cries very easily.”
For a minute Bob and Kim just looked at Reid and then they both laughed out loud.
“I notice you like to replace all normal conversation with very creative metaphors and alternatives,” Kim had returned to her ‘interview mode’, “Is that a conscious choice?”
“It’s more like second nature, by now,” Reid had to admit, “but yes, it is based on a conscious decision.” That had the attention of everybody present.
Bob had asked for all of them: “Why?”
“Because it makes the brain go ksutjeee…” he had put his two index fingers together and vibrated as if he was electrocuted.
“The brain likes to make all kind of connections and when you stay in your comfort zone, use the same kind of words over and over again, or just exist on automatic pilot, the brain will doze off. And to me, that’s a shameful mistreatment of something so magnificent. So I like to stimulate the brain.”
Bob had looked at him with an even deeper understanding and Kim had nodded. “It starts to make sense to me,” she saw him with new eyes, he could tell. “But is there no other way you could stimulate those new connections?”
Reid had laughed.
“It all depends on the intensity of the dozing off,” he had replied with a look full of mischief, “sometimes a little nudge is sufficient and sometimes a verbal bulldozer isn’t enough.”
Kim laughed and her next question was the exact moment it happened. They had both been aware of it. The Big Turnaround.
“So, tell me. Have I already moved myself from the bulldozer section to the nudge side?” and Reid had nodded to her. His “You’re getting there,” was teasing, but warm and accessible and they had all shared in a relaxed laughter.
Kim had turned to Bob and she had given him a nod.
“I get it now. I really get it.”
The whole ‘ksutjeee-principle’, as Luke had called it in the car, turned out to be another important piece of the puzzle for his boyfriend. To Reid’s surprise.
“But I told you earlier,” Reid had pointed out, and Luke had shrugged.
“I must have missed that one.”
“Remember your mom’s dinner party, where I didn’t even get close to food, I might add?”
Luke put on a grave face. It was not one of his fondest memories.
“I remember” and silently added: but I wish I didn’t.
Reid had felt it and had went astray for a moment.
“That conversation was the worst ever,” he said and wasn’t surprised by Luke’s “I agree.”
“My heart just sank when I saw you and Noah together in your bedroom,” Reid had remembered how he’d felt, and could recall his desperation and frustration.
“Your invitation had given me hope, especially after your remark about ‘the possibility of being part of something real’. So I showed up and again I was the odd one out.”
“You were not!”
“Excuse me. Did you bother to greet me, when you saw me? Nope. You turned to Noah and started explaining - or should I say apologizing - to him why I was there.”
“Oh God,” Luke had whispered and after parking the car at their home, he hadn’t moved.
“So I switched to my traditional self-defense mechanism and pretended I didn’t care. Pretended that the picture of you and Noah on your nightstand didn’t made me nauseous. That the thought of you and Noah making love on that bed didn’t make my skin crawl. So I wasn’t joking. I was hurting.”
“And I didn’t notice,” Luke voice had trembled.
“No, you didn’t. You thought the worst of me,” Reid had caressed Luke’s leg. “And I’m so glad we’re passed that stage.”
Luke had smiled. “Me too. But I still can’t remember talking about the ‘ksutjeee-principle’ or something like that.”
“Well, you said you wished I could be a real human being for once and then you concluded that I couldn’t. Remember what I said?”
Luke had nodded and Reid had seen the sudden comprehension. “I choose not to,” Luke had looked at him, shaking his head. “We were not on the same wavelength that day, that’s for sure. I really didn’t get it. And instead of asking why you choose not to, I pushed you out.”
“Well, there was a plus in all of this,” Reid had grinned, “My brain was very stimulated that afternoon.”
“How about stimulating other parts of our body?” Luke had asked, eager to change to subject.
With an assenting growl Reid had kissed him firmly and it took a while before they made it out of the car.
Reid smiled, kissing the locks of his sleeping beauty. Yes, it was a crazy day, but a productive one. His brain had made some new connections. And so had his heart.
It was a good day.
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16