68 Meltdown
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #68 Meltdown
Rating: PG
Summary: “As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31 #32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37 #38 #39 #40 #41 #42 #43 #44 #45 #46 #47 #48 #49 #50 #51 #52 #53 #54 #55 #56 #57 #58 #59 #60 #61 #62 #63 #64 #65 #66 #67
Luke couldn’t remember feeling this relieved about anything. When he heard the gate open and close and a car pulling in, he knew Reid had come home and that was more than he’d expected.
He tried to stay calm, while he stood up from the couch and waited for Reid to come in. Luke could cry when he saw him. Reid still looked very tired and he only acknowledged Luke’s presence with a quick movement of the head.
“I’m glad you’re home,” Luke tried.
Reid just shrugged, pulled his coat off and hung it away.
“I’m gonna fix myself a drink and go to bed,” Reid ran his fingers through his hair. The golden band flickered in the soft lighting. It made Luke’s heart jump.
“You’re wearing it…” he whispered.
Reid’s eyes were cold and dismissive. “Of course I do. It actually means something to me.”
“It does to me too,” Luke answered, making Reid’s eyebrow raise. Really?
“Can I have it back?” his voice sounded vulnerable and Reid wanted to pull Luke in, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. The magnet that normally pulled them together, was now pushing them away. Making it humanly impossible to get close.
So Reid shrugged again. “I don’t have it here. It’s still in my locker.”
Luke gasped, lowering his head.
“I’m so sorry…” Luke started, but Reid raised his hand.
“I know you are, Luke. That’s not the point. The fact that you basically don’t trust me. That’s the point.”
“I know. I was wrong not to trust you, but…”
“It’s not even about right or wrong,” Reid began to raise his voice and Luke knew what that meant. Reid was upset. Very upset.
“I’m sure you have your reasons for all this suspicion and it’s undoubtedly all explainable, but I honestly don’t know if I can handle that.”
Panic started to creep in. This didn’t sound good.
“But I could learn to…” Luke tried, but again Reid cut him off with a raised hand.
“I’m not sure if I want you to, Luke. That’s the point. This is who you are. And if you need to change to make this work between us, we put ourselves in the molding business and I’m not going there. I want you to feel safe to be who you are. And I want to feel safe to be who I am. To give a co-worker a pep talk without having to look over my shoulder to see if my partner isn’t having a fit. To be able to be mad at each other, without getting a ring thrown in my face.”
“You know I can be a drama queen…” Luke sounded desperate.
“I know,” Reid agreed, “and I remember you once told me that you worried about pushing me to the limit with all your drama and emotional baggage and I promised I would let you know when I started to feel that way.”
Reid looked Luke in the eyes.
“So this is me, letting you know. I’m starting to feel that way. And maybe I can deal with this after a good night sleep, so I’m gonna try to get some rest.”
He walked over to the kitchen, grabbed a beer and walked over to the bedroom. Leaving Luke standing in the living room. Looking in shock.
To his surprise he had actually managed to fall asleep rather quickly, but he wasn’t nearly ready to wake up when he felt Luke’s hand on his arm. He wanted to pull his arm away, when he felt something was off.
“I’m really not trying to manipulate, but I need your help,” Luke whispered. “I don’t feel good and I need you to drive me to the hospital.”
Reid was awake immediately and got dressed very quickly, while touching Luke’s forehead - that was a fever alright - and asking him short questions about the symptoms. The answers calmed him down a little - it didn’t sound like kidney troubles - but Luke obviously didn’t feel well.
“Are you sure you can walk? I could call for an ambulance.”
Luke shook his head. “I can walk.”
Reid supported Luke on his way to the car, while he put in his earplug in, activated his headset and called the hospital.
“This is Dr. Oliver. Who is this? Ah yes, Lorraine. I’m bringing in Luke. Who’s on call? Ah, I’m in luck, then. Please let him know we’re coming and pull Luke’s file. Make sure you point the doctor at the kidney history, although I don’t think we’re dealing with that right now.”
Reid looked over at Luke and saw the blond touching his naked ring finger. His heart broke, but he had other priorities. He reported Luke’s symptoms and nodded.
“I’m already there. Yeah, I can see you. Looks like you want to catch pneumonia in the process. Where’s your coat, nurse?”
He disconnected and while he stepped out, Lorraine brought a wheel chair to the passenger seat and together they lifted Luke in it. She pushed the chair inside, while Reid parked the car and followed them in a hurry.
“Oliver,” Dr. Rainsby shook Reid’s hand, “I’ll do some tests and get back to you.”
Reid nodded. Dr. Rainsby was one of the capable ones, so he trusted him with Luke.
“I’ll be in my office, but you can also page me, of course.”
His colleague gave a quick nod and disappeared, leaving Reid alone in the hallway. He took out his phone and called Holden.
“Reid?” Holden sounded alarmed.
“I’m in the hospital with Luke,” Reid informed him.
“What happened? Is it his kidney?”
“Not sure, but it doesn’t sound like it. But at this point we don’t know. He feels pretty sick. He has a fever and is throwing up.”
“Sounds like that flu you had,” Holden answered, while putting on some clothes.
“It does, but the timing is a little strange. I’m back on my feet for about a week.”
“Maybe he picked it up somewhere else.”
“True. He did continue with the meds to help the resistance.”
“I’m coming over there. I think I should call Lily too.”
“I think you should too,” Reid agreed. “See you both here, then. Ask for Nurse Lorraine. She’ll know where we are.”
When he disconnected, he noticed the nurse and walked up to her.
“Did you assign any room yet?”
Nurse Lorraine shook her head. “Do you have any preference?”
Reid gave her a short smile. “I do. Is 101 available?”
Lorraine checked and nodded. “It is. Dare I ask?” her look was a little wicked and Reid grinned.
“You could. I wouldn’t answer, though.”
The nurse shrugged. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
“Nope. That I can’t.” Reid agreed and walked to his office. His eyes wandered to the picture on his desk. It made him walk to the other part of his office, where he opened the locker and took Luke’s ring out.
With a deep sigh he put it in the pocket of his white coat.
When he entered room 101, Luke was already there. He looked groggy, but he did recognize Reid and gave him a shy smile.
“I know a lot more,” Dr. Rainsby sounded firm and Reid wondered what that was about, until he saw the stern look the doctor gave Luke. Obviously Luke needed a verbal spanking.
“Contrary to strict doctors orders, Mr. Snyder mixed a stressful day with a serious lack of fluids and food.”
“You didn’t eat?” Reid frowned.
Luke lowered his eyes. “I was nauseous.”
“It’s nothing too serious,” Dr. Rainsby still looked harsh, “but you can’t neglect yourself like this, Mr. Snyder. Kidneys still don’t grow on trees, so be careful with the one you have.”
The doctor looked at Reid. “According to the symptoms, we could be looking at a touch of Swine Flu, but I think his body was shutting down from stress and lack of nutrition.”
The door opened and Lily and Holden were just in time to hear the latest sentence.
“Is he alright?” Lily hurried to Luke’s sight, but the look in the brown eyes made her calm down.
“He will be,” Dr. Rainsby smiled at Luke. “Nothing a good night sleep, some stress free days and good nutrition can’t cure.”
The doctor left the room and Reid followed him out.
“I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t need to know,” Dr. Rainsby’s smile was genuine, “and I also realize you’re not his baby sitter, but he’s pretty upset. So if you have any idea how to calm him down, even it’s a little, please do.”
Reid nodded, decided against going in and walked over to a large window, overlooking Trinity Park. He sat down in one of the chairs. It was an interesting dilemma. ‘Calm him down’, his colleague had urged him. He knew how to do that. Returning the ring would do the trick. But was it fair to do that right now? Just to calm Luke down? Was he really ready to continue this? The drama? The suspicion?
He was startled by a hand on his shoulder and gave Holden a quick smile.
“How are you?” Holden softly asked and when Reid shrugged, Holden sat down too.
“May I ask what’s going on with you two? My mother told me about the rings and I noticed Luke isn’t wearing his…”
Reid hesitated. He didn’t like bringing other people into his personal life. Then again, this was Luke’s father.
“He gave his ring back, this afternoon.”
“He did what?” Holden watched Reid in confusion. “Why? I know for a fact he’s crazy about you. And I’m pretty sure it’s mutual.”
Reid gave a glimpse of a smile.
“He thought I was cheating on him.”
Holden's confusion raised to another level. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Thank you for that,” Reid really smiled this time. At least his father-in-law trusted him.
Both men sat quiet for a moment, both in their own thoughts. Holden broke the silence.
“I feel responsible,” he said and it made Reid look up in surprise.
“Lily and I… we’ve exposed the kids to a lot of confusing stuff. We claimed to love each other, but after a while one of us would have an affair…So that’s Luke’s concept of love. Enjoy while it lasts, but expect betrayal.”
Reid nodded. He’d talked to Gwen and she mentioned the same. And they meant well. Of course they did. But it didn’t change anything.
“I’m at the end of my rope,” Reid suddenly said, more to himself. “I know Luke is very insecure. And I really tried to give him some tools to deal with that. I consciously verbalize my love and commitment, because I know he needs to hear. I bought him these rings. So he could feel secure. But it obviously doesn’t work.”
Reid shrugged and touched his ring with his thumb.
“The funny part of it is…this ring gave me something too. I hadn’t expected that. Those things never mattered to me before. But this ring gave me a sense of belonging. Of family. Of home. And by giving his ring back…”
He looked outside without seeing anything.
“I totally get it,” Holden softly said. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to him, Reid. And I don’t even want to think about what it would mean to my whole family if you two…” Holden sighed, refusing to give it words. “But if staying together would destroy who you are, we will all lose.”
Holden stood up and reached out his hand. They shook hands and Reid turned back to the window. He lost track of time and jumped up when his phone beeped. While grabbing it, he touched a wrong button and Luke’s face appeared before him.
“Hey you, I’m Luke and you and I…we’re the best thing that ever happened to each other. And I know you know, but even a genius like you might need a little reminder one day, so this is it. I love you. I really thought I knew what was love was, but you gave it an extra dimension. I’ve never felt so secure, so safe, so respected, so uplifted, so at peace and so satisfied as you make me feel. So even if you might forget, for whatever reason, I’m telling you here and now…trust me. You don’t want to be anywhere else. You don’t want to be with anyone else. We’re it.”
Reid swallowed, clicking away the video and watching the text that came in.
- Please talk to me. LY.
Reid nodded at the screen. Great timing, Snyder. Reid knew Luke was right. They had to talk. But what could he say? Trust me, the blond in the video had stated. Did he? Could he trust Luke? The whole returning-of-the-ring thing had startled Reid beyond words. It felt like a vicious violation of something sacred, with just one objective. To lash out at him, as hard as Luke knew how. Reid didn’t want to believe it had been a conscious attempt to crush him, but doubt was nibbling at him. Could he trust Luke?