63 Seeing the light
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #63 Seeing the light
Rating: PG
Summary: “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” - Aristotle Onassis
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31 #32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37 #38 #39 #40 #41 #42 #43 #44 #45 #46 #47 #48 #49 #50 #51 #52 #53 #54 #55 #56 #57 #58 #59 #60 #61 #62
The change was evident and not just because of the huge Bob’s sign on the window. The hospital cafeteria was packed and Luke had to stand in line for his lunch. No, their lunch. He had left Reid on the couch in his office, had filled Gwen in and was now on his way to find his man something nice to eat. Thanks to Janet that wasn’t that difficult anymore.
If anything, the difficult part was choosing.
“Looks good, huh?” Janet gave him a big grin.
“It does. It’s hard to pick something…”
Janet noticed the two trays. “Are you also ordering for Dr. Oliver?”
After Luke’s nod, she pointed at a picture on the counter.
“I created this sandwich in his honor,” she was obviously very pleased with herself, “I call it ‘The Great O’.”
It made Luke laugh and nod. “Well, I can’t leave without that one, can I?” He ordered some side dishes and a burger for himself and was about to make his way to the cash desk, when he heard a voice behind him he didn’t want to hear.
“Luke! How nice to see you.”
He acknowledged his mother with a quick look, but froze. She was not alone. And she hurried to explain his presence.
“I’m having another appointment with Dr. Michaels and I’ve told her about Noah and she wanted to talk to him. So that’s why we’re here together.”
Luke gave her a quick look again and shrugged.
“Are you having lunch too?” Lily scanned the restaurant, but didn’t see Dr. Oliver anywhere.
“We’re having lunch in Reid’s office,” Luke explained softly and he heard a familiar snort.
“So you’re his servant now? I can’t believe you let yourself…”
Luke accepted the glass of soda Janet was handing him and put it on the tray with a slam that made Janet instinctively step away from the counter. She couldn’t recall having seen Luke Snyder angry before, but he surely was right now. Very angry.
He leaned over to Noah and put a finger close to his face. Just one word made it out of his mouth.
“Stop.”
When his mother tried to intervene by touching his arm, Luke brushed her away and looked scornfully at her. She stepped back.
And Noah… Noah still thought he knew how to handle Luke. Come on, Luke had been angry before. He always knew how to calm him down. How to make him see things the right way. Noah’s way. Sure, Luke was upset, but only because he knew this wasn’t right. Luke was so much better than this. Getting Reid’s lunch. Ridiculous.
“I understand you feel embarrassed,” Noah started and was completely thrown by the disgust in the brown eyes in front of him.
“Embarrassed? Because I’m getting lunch for the man I love? Embarrassed? Because I’m taking care of a man who was in surgery for three hours to save a life and is too tired to sit down in a busy restaurant? No, Noah. I don’t feel embarrassed. I feel blessed. Because Reid appreciates my caring for him. Reid sees it for what it is: an act of love. And I really don’t care what you think about that.”
When he started to move the trays, Janet made a little waving movement.
“Don’t worry about the bill. I’ll make a note of it. Just go.”
Luke mouthed a soundless ‘Thank you’ and without giving his mother and Noah another look, he left the cafeteria.
He reached the office without any interruptions, put the trays on the desk, closed the door and pushed the red button. There. Do not disturb.
If Reid was surprised, he didn’t show it. He sat up, accepted the tray and smiled at the content.
“This looks very good.” When Luke sat next to him, Reid leaned in for a kiss. “Thank you for getting this.”
“You’re welcome,” Luke tapped Reid’s leg for a moment and grabbed his own tray. “Although it turned out more tiresome than I had anticipated…”
Luke watched Reid taking a bite of his sandwich and interrupted himself by sharing with Reid the name of the contraption and smiled when he saw Reid’s eyes light up.
“Really? Well, it’s a great sandwich…”
“Good.”
“But go on… what happened?”
“My mother was there. With Noah.”
Reid almost choked on this sandwich.
“What? Why?”
“Something about an appointment with Dr. Michaels. Apparently my mother talked about Noah and now Dr. Michaels wanted him to join a session.”
“Poor Noah,” Reid ginned wickedly.
“Why?”
“Because Lynn is gonna eat him alive, that’s why. If there’s one thing she can’t stand, it’s people who don’t take responsibility for their own actions and blame everybody else.”
Luke grinned too. “Then she has her work cut out for her. He had the nerve to question the fact I was getting you lunch.”
“Excuse me? You got him a brilliant neurosurgeon.”
“Damn, I wish I’d thought of that. That would have been the perfect answer,” Luke laughed.
“I’m pretty sure you handled him in your way,” Reid voiced his trust and support and it made Luke emotional.
“What?” Reid stopped eating and touched Luke’s chin. “Was it that bad?”
With a loud sniff, Luke shook his head. “It wasn’t, but you being so supportive and uplifting…” he shrugged, “It just emphasizes how destructive Noah is. I’ve never felt that contrast so clear. And it’s painful. Painful to realize I let him get away with that for so long.”
“I understand,” Reid kissed Luke’s temple, “but you’re not letting him get away with it anymore, Luke. That’s what counts.”
Luke nodded, leaning against Reid. “True. But it makes me so mad…and sad, to be honest. I have been very clear and I really thought I got through to him, but obviously I didn’t.”
“He’s convinced he’s right,” Reid shrugged. “So just let him.”
“Easier said than done,” Luke sank his teeth into an innocent fry that cracked under the pressure. “He asked if I was your servant now…I mean… let him?”
“I didn’t say it was easy,” Reid leaned back. That was a good lunch. “It’s hard to recognize that thin line between standing up for yourself and letting it slide.”
“It is,” Luke agreed and sighed. “I wish I could be more like you. You really don’t care what Noah thinks of you, do you?”
“Nope,” Reid pulled Luke close, “I really don’t. But that’s not a fair comparison. I mean, you and Noah were together for years. In love and all that. Noah means nothing to me, so it’s very easy to ignore his version of the truth. But if we were to break up after a few years,” he cringed at the thought, “I’m pretty sure your opinion of me would still matter.”
Luke smiled, playing with a button on Reid’s shirt. “But we’ll never be in that position. Being apart, I mean.”
“Hope not,” Reid whispered in Luke’s locks.
“Not an option,” Luke whispered, placing a hand behind Reid’s head and pulling him in for a kiss. When the kiss deepened, Luke put one leg over Reid, mounted his lap and leaned against his chest, without his mouth disconnecting once.
“You’re getting very good at this,” Reid whispered and Luke smiled.
“I know. And I also know you’re too tired. Is it okay if we sit like this, though?”
“Just say it like it is, Looker,” Reid clapped him softly on the cheek. “You need a hug. And that’s perfectly fine. Come here.”
With a content smile Luke let himself be embraced by the strength of his beautiful man. It never failed. Pressed against Reid’s chest he felt whole. Strong. Home.
They both lost track of time - maybe they even dozed off - but the beeping phone put an end to their fusion. Luke stepped from the couch and handed Reid the noisemaker.
“I’d set the alarm. It’s time to check on my patient.”
“Kevin?”
“Right. Kevin.” Reid gave a glimpse of a smile.
“You do that,” Luke kissed him. “I’ll return these trays and tell Janet you loved the Great O. Meet you in the Look and Read room?” Luke gave Reid his famous radiant smile. “I love that name.”
“Me too,” Reid squeezed Luke’s chin, “See you there.”
Besides a few nurses having coffee, Bob’s was abandoned and after returning the trays, Luke went to see Janet. She smiled when she saw him.
“I can tell… you had a good lunch.”
“We did,” Luke returned the smile. “Reid was very happy with his sandwich.”
“I’m glad,” Janet cleaned the counter. “His eating habits are legendary at Al’s, so I had a good hunch what he would like.”
Luke nodded. “There’s also a bill I have to settle.”
Janet shook her head. “Your mother took care of that.” Seeing his face, Janet paled. “Not good?”
“You couldn’t know,” Luke said soothing, “but no, I don’t need my mother buying me anything. She probably meant well…”
“I think she felt guilty for bringing that guy in,” Janet said calmly. “She was not very friendly with him after you left.”
Luke couldn’t help it. He was glad to hear it.
“That’s good,” he admitted. “I’m sorry I made a scene.”
“Don’t be sorry, silly,” Janet slapped her dishtowel on the counter, “The way he spoke to you even made me mad and I don’t know you that well.”
They both laughed.
“Yeah, I let him get away with that kind of stuff for a long time, so I guess he isn’t up to speed yet.”
“Classic case of denial, if you ask me,” Janet grinned. “And who can blame him? After the grand opening the whole town is talking about that impressive doctor and his handsome boyfriend. And assuming this ex of yours is feeling as miserable as he looks, he does not want to hear those happy stories about you. That makes him only more miserable. So he makes up his own horror version.”
Luke nodded. “And he refuses to even consider he might be wrong.”
“Of course,” Janet clapped the dishtowel again. “The truth would crush him, I think.”
“Thanks Janet,” Luke blew her a kiss, “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Thanks hon. And I’m glad you’re happy.”
Luke smiled, while making his way to the new wing. Seeing who was apparently waiting for him at the coffee machine, brought a flash in his eyes. Not again.
“Luke…please…I need to talk to you…”
“I don’t care what you need, Noah.”
“Please, it will take a few minutes.”
“I’m meeting some people. You can walk with me to the room.”
Noah nodded and walked next to Luke.
“I just had that session with Dr. Michaels, and really I don’t understand why she has a license for this. She didn’t understand me at all.”
Luke couldn’t help but smile. Now he was able to see how Noah viewed the world, it didn’t feel personal anymore. And that helped.
“And that’s my problem, because…”
“Well, she works with Reid, so it’s my guess that he set her up against me.”
Luke laughed out loud.
“You can not be serious. You’re not even a blip on Reid’s radar. Why do you think he would spend his valuable time and energy on you?”
Noah felt visibly uncomfortable.
“Well, he considered me a threat in the past and…”
“In the past, yes,” Luke interrupted him. “Noah, we’re living together…”
They had reached the waiting area and Luke pointed at the name of the room.
“We’re very solid, Noah. Believe me, you’re not a threat. Not to Reid and not to my relationship. And I do realize you’ve created your own truth about Reid and about us and I know I can’t change that. So I’m not gonna try anymore. But I do need you to stop bothering me with your version of the truth. One phone call to Margo would make it legal, but I hope we don’t end up there.”
Noah was silent. His eyes were still at the window. The Look and Read room. It had a permanent feel to it. It screamed ‘this is not a fling!’. The Look and Read room. Like some sort of modern nuptials. Two names linked forever.
“That’s quite a statement,” Noah whispered, nodding at the window.
“It is,” Luke agreed.
“Your idea?”
Luke smiled. “Nope. Reid surprised me with it, yesterday.”
“It’s basically a declaration of love. Of commitment.”
“It is,” Luke said again. Was Noah finally getting it?
“So he really loves you, huh?”
“Oh yes,” Luke beamed. “He does. A lot.”
“And you love him…obviously…” Noah chuckled for a moment. “Every time you mention his name, your eyes light up.”
Luke just smiled.
“Okay,” Noah put his hands in his pockets and lowered his head. “I will no longer bother you.”
Luke nodded.
“But I hope we…”
“No Noah, we can’t. I explained all this earlier and I’m not gonna repeat the whole thing. Our connection had its purpose and now it’s done. No use in applying artificial respiration.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Noah sighed.
“I know you are,” Luke said friendly.
Noah looked up, wanted to reply, but stopped at the sight of the man walking towards them.
“I’ll let you go,” there was still a hesitation, a vague question mark in Noah’s words and Luke finished all lingering hope.
“Please do.”
Noah didn’t watch, but he heard Luke’s soft “Hey you” and Reid’s “Hey” back. He felt his body squirm and he turned. Finding the exit on memory. He had his eyesight, but felt blinded. His light in life was taken from him. No, he had covered that light so much and for so long, that it needed to find a new place to shine. And it had. He had never seen it shine so brightly as today and he knew it. He’d lost Luke. Forever.