46 Love to remember
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #46 Love to remember
Rating: PG
Summary: "You are just grateful that you have it in your life, as long as you have it. Even if it's for a short while."
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31 #32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37 #38 #39 #40 #41 #42 #43 #44 #45
Their timing turned out to be impeccable. Barbara was in the process of opening her eyes when Reid and Bob walked in. With a dazed glance she looked to her left and obviously recognized Paul and Will. Her smile was weak and her voice not more than a whisper, but her "Hey boys" was loving and a good sign. At least her memory didn't seem affected, Reid concluded. While he walked towards the bed, he saw her looking to her right. The loving smile he'd expected, failed to occur. Barbara looked confused.
"What are you doing here?"
"Where else would I be, my love?" Henry’s fingers stroke her hand and with a startled look she pulled her hand from his grip with a disgusted "My love?".
Henry paled and when Reid passed him, he grabbed his sleeve.
'What's going on, Reid?'
"That's what I'd like to know," Barbara agreed. Her voice was getting stronger, so that was good news, but her anxiety level was rising too and Reid didn't like that.
"I have to examine my patient, so I need you all to leave."
He turned to Henry and gave him a quick nod and continued:
"I will answer all questions later..."
Unwillingly Henry let Katie escort him out of the room and with Bob on the other side of the bed, Reid looked Barbara in the eyes. Before he could ask her anything, she looked him over.
"How come I haven't see you before?"
Reid's eyes met Bob's and they shared a quick shake of the head. This wasn't good.
"Barbara," Bob sounded calm, "Do you remember falling down and hurting yourself?"
She lowered her head.
"So that's what happened? No, I don't remember."
"Well, you've been out for a couple of days, so I'm not gonna ask you what day it is, but can you tell me what month and year we're in?"
Barbara rolled her eyes, but that hurt and she cringed.
"It's October," she answered, was relieved to see Bob's nod and continued: "2009."
The young doctor on her right didn't show any emotions, but she knew Bob long and well. His worried glance didn't stay unnoticed.
"I flunked, didn't I?"
Bob smiled. "You're doing great. Don't push yourself."
"I'm gonna order some tests, including a scan." The young doctor informed her and Barbara frowned.
"I don't need two doctors. Bob can..."
"Dr. Oliver is not only one of the best neurosurgeons in the world, he's also the one who saved your life," Bob interrupted.
"Oh." Barbara looked at the young doctor again. "I guess a thank you is in order, then."
"No need. Just doing my job," Reid shrugged.
"So...according to Bob's reaction on the year I mentioned, I gather I'm suffering from memory loss?"
Her forward question brought a smile to Reid's face and Barbara was baffled by the effect. This Dr. Oliver was quite a catch. Too bad he was a little too young for her taste.
"You are right," Reid replied and it took her a few seconds to understand he responded to her question and not to her thoughts about their age difference.
"So, how bad is it? We're obviously talking about years here."
Bob answered. "It's not too bad...it's October 2010, so you're missing a year. For now, that is. It doesn't have to be permanent."
“A whole year?” Barbara was getting upset again, “and you think that’s not too bad?”
Reid’s thoughts went to Henry and agreed with his patient. This was not a good year to forget. Thinking about it made him shiver.
“I’ll go and order those tests,” Reid said in general, while leaving the room. He was immediately besieged by apprehension and suspense in the corridor. Before anyone could bombard him with questions, he focused on Henry and explained the situation.
“A year? Our year?” For a moment Reid related to Henry’s desperation. What if Luke wouldn’t remember this last year? Reid would be a complete stranger to him! Just the thought made his skin crawl.
“I know, Hank. It’s…” Reid swallowed, “hell. But it doesn’t have to be permanent. I hope to know more after the tests.”
Henry nodded, while Will, Paul and Katie tapped his back and voiced their sympathy.
“What’s the best way to deal with this, Dr. Oliver?” Paul asked pointblank.
“As stress free as possible,” Reid answered without hesitation. “Any strain on the brain is not helping at this point. Avoiding emotional issues,” he looked at Henry, “is absolute key. We can’t force the brain to remember. I wish I could, Hank,” Reid squeezed the man’s shoulder for a minute.
For some reason Henry seemed to accept Reid’s advice without a fight.
“What you’re telling me is to stay away from her, right?”
Reid swallowed again. He really felt for this guy. “I know it stinks, Hank, but yes…that would be best. For now. But let me order those tests and after that I may know more.”
Henry gave him a nod. Stoical. Dispirited. Almost in tears. “Thanks, Reid.”
After a quick head movement, Reid made the necessary arrangements and when Barbara was wheeled out of her room, Henry watched from a distance. He could feel Katie’s arm around his waist, but her warmth didn’t reach him.
“This is so cruel,” he whispered and Katie couldn’t agree more.
“It’s brutal. I’m so sorry, Henry.”
He pulled her close for a minute. He knew he didn’t have to explain. Not to Katie. She loved and lost too. She knew how he felt. He broke down and cried.
***
- Running late. Barbara is awake. Be home soon. LY
- All OK? LY2
- Nope. Memory loss
- OMG
- indeed
***
On his way home, Reid pleaded with the Powers That Be. Out loud.
“Please, no emergencies tonight. Please, let us on occasion forget the world, but never each other.” He took a deep breath, trying to shake the fear and anxiety that had crept in this afternoon. For some reason he heard Luke’s voice in his head and it took him back a few weeks.
"You are just grateful that you have it in your life, as long as you have it. Even if it's for a short while."
Reid parked his car, stepped out and looked up. “I am. I really am very grateful.”
He smiled when he saw Luke in the doorway and his heart filled with joy, love, hope and trust again when his lover threw himself into Reid’s arms.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” Luke whispered.
“I’m so thankful you remember me,” Reid softly replied and met Luke in a hungry kiss.
Many kisses and minutes later, they lay entwined in silence. The little energy Luke had left, he used to move his hand up and down Reid’s chest in a soothing caress. Not complaining about anything, Luke had noticed Reid’s anxiety during their lovemaking and he didn’t really know how to ease Reid’s mind. He decided to ask.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Reid looked startled. “Did I hurt you?”
Luke smiled. “No, you didn’t. But I could tell you were affected by what happened today.”
Reid sighed, his hand pulling a few blond locks. “I was. I’m sorry if I was too…intense.”
“Stop with the apologies, Reid.” Luke moved himself up, tilted Reid’s head and looked him in the face. “I’m not complaining. I’m worried. And I want to help, so tell me if I’m helping by talking or if I’m helping by shutting up.”
Reid smiled. “What you’re doing right now is very helpful. Just hold me.”
And Luke did. Many questions entered his mind, but he didn’t ask one of them. He could answer them all himself. Barbara didn’t remember Henry and Reid had made it personal. Luke knew he did, after getting Reid’s text. He had placed himself in Henry’s shoes for a moment. How he would react if Reid couldn’t remember the last year. He was overwhelmed by the angst of it all and Luke was pretty sure his man was feeling the exact same thing.
His greeting - “I’m so thankful you remember me” - had spoken volumes. How could he help Reid… all of a sudden the idea hit him and he forced himself up.
“What…”
Luke shook his head, put a finger over Reid’s mouth, and reached for Reid’s cell phone. After pushing some buttons, he handed it over to Reid.
“Just keep me on the screen…face only, by the way,” Luke grinned, “and push this button when I give you a nod.”
Reid followed Luke’s directions without really knowing what he was up to and why Luke felt the urge to do this now… but after Luke’s nod and first sentence, he felt something wet in the corners of his eyes. Oh my God, he wasn’t leaking, was he?
“Hey you, I’m Luke and you and I…” Luke’s finger pointed from himself to the camera, “we’re the best thing that ever happened to each other. And I know you know, but even a genius like you might need a little reminder one day, so this is it. I love you. I really thought I knew what was love was, but you gave it an extra dimension. I’ve never felt so secure, so safe, so respected, so uplifted, so at peace and so satisfied…” Luke sent a telling grin into the camera, “as you make me feel. So even if you might forget, for whatever reason, I’m telling you here and now…trust me. You don’t want to be anywhere else. You don’t want to be with anyone else. We’re it.”
Luke blew a kiss towards the camera and that was Reid’s cue to stop filming. When he lowered his phone, Luke saw some tears go astray on Reid’s cheek and with a smothered cry, Luke leaned in for a kiss.
“That was so awesome,” Reid whispered. “How did you come up with that idea?”
Luke blushed, very pleased with himself. “I don’t know. It just hit me.”
“I need to do it too…” Reid motioned Luke to get his phone and with a radiant smile Luke obeyed, activating his camera.
“Hi Luke,” Reid’s loving smile splashed from the screen, getting Luke all flushed. “I’m Reid. Your Reid. Before I met you, I was nobody’s Reid. I was Dr. Reid Oliver and this was my usual facial expression…” Reid turned to aloof, arrogant and cold in a split second, making Luke grin, “but then you came into my life and look at me now…” Reid was back to the love. “I had been living in the dark for most of my life, but your presence pulled me into the light.” Reid quoted Bob. “And we’re good together. We’re actually great together. And even if you don’t feel that love some day, for whatever reason, let me assure you…nobody can love you more than I’m doing right now and nobody could love me better than you’re doing. I love you, Luke Snyder. Don’t you ever forget that.”
A little bleep indicated the camera was turned off and when Luke put his phone down, it was obvious that Reid’s words had struck a cord. They found each other in a silent embrace and sat like that for a while.
“I actually feel better,” Reid sounded surprised and Luke sniggered.
“I’m glad. So do I.” Luke lovingly stroke his phone. “This movie is already invaluable to me.”
“I know what you mean, I…” before Reid could finish, his stomach reminded him of an interrupted flow of nutrition for the last few hours and they both laughed out loud.
“Somebody needs feeding again,” Luke teased and jumped off the bed. “And do I have a treat for you.” He dressed quickly and smiled when he saw Reid hurrying too.
“Tell me…”
“After leaving you with Bob, I felt a little lonely, so I went to the farm and grandma didn’t let me leave without all kind of containers with food…not that she needed to twist my arm, or anything…” Luke grinned. “All they need is a little warming up…”
Reid’s face was all joy and while Luke was preparing the dinner, he watched Reid setting the table. A domestic scene that felt familiar and maybe even non-essential. But thinking about Henry, this little piece of normal became precious. Because here they were. Together. In love and both very aware of that love. In awe of that love, even. He could only hope they would never forget.