32 Let's assume
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #32 Let's assume
Rating: PG
Summary: Luke has a little secret
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for supporting my scribbles
The crackling of the fire in front of them and the rustling of pages being turned was about the only sound in the room, so the setting was peaceful enough. Reid sat slouched on the couch, reading the latest Medical Journal, and his blond partner leaned against his shoulder, focused on a book. The perfect picture. So it seemed. But something was wrong. The fact that Luke hadn’t turned a page in about ten minutes was a telling sign.
So Reid nudged him softly.
“When were you planning on telling me what’s going on?”
“What?” Luke sounded startled, so Reid knew he was on to something and he tapped Luke’s temple.
“In here. You’ve something on your mind.”
Luke shifted his body and tilted his head, so he could look at Reid.
“How did you know?”
“I’m a genius.” Reid replied on a good-heavens-do-I-have-to-explain-that-again?-tone and Luke chuckled.
“When you’re right, you’re right.” Luke sat up straight, put his book away and turned to Reid.
“I saw my mother today.”
That made Reid lay down his magazine.
“And why didn’t this come up at dinner when I asked you about your day?”
Luke lowered his head.
“You’re tired and I didn’t want to bother you with my drama…”
“Excuse me? We have a serious problem if you think I could ever be too tired to be interested in what’s going on with you.”
To compensate for his harsh tone, he put his arm around Luke and pulled him close. His “Idiot” sounded tender and Luke calmed down. A little.
“I’m sorry, I just assumed…” Luke shrugged, but couldn’t finish his thoughts, because Reid interrupted them.
“That’s not part of our deal, is it? We agreed on communicating, instead of jumping to conclusions. Especially because I almost lost you by assuming you went back to Noah after seeing you in Java.”
Luke nodded. It felt like another lifetime, but he remembered. Clearly. “You’re right. And it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, but you looked so tired and I…”
“…thought it was better for me not to tell.” Reid guessed.
Luke smiled with relief. “Exactly!”
“May I point out that that’s the main reason why your mother is in jail now? Because she thought she knew what’s best for you?”
Reid’s face was all annoyance and Luke felt rejected. “That’s not fair, Reid. I was trying to be considerate.”
“I know,” Reid played with a blond lock, “but the fact remains that you decided what was best for me. What bothers me even more is that you felt you had to put your own needs aside to accommodate me somehow. That’s not a good thing, Luke.”
Luke tried to crawl away in Reid’s armpit. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad,” Reid kissed Luke’s hair. “I’m just sad you effaced yourself like this. You’re the most important person in my life, Luke. I thought you knew that.”
“I do!” Luke sat up straight again and put his hand on Reid’s cheek. “I really do! It’s just that…” Luke shrugged, “I guess I’m not used to it, yet. I’m so accustomed to catering to the needs of everybody around me…it’s like second nature and it just moves in and takes over, without me really noticing it.”
He could feel Reid relax and his nod confirmed it. He understood.
“Yes, that does make sense,” Reid pulled Luke back in. “Come here, you. Bury me in your drama.”
After a quick kiss, Luke laid his head on Reid’s chest and put his arm over Reid’s body. He enjoyed Reid’s arms holding him tight.
“Well, Margo had called me this morning and told me that these last few days my mother didn’t want to cooperate unless she could talk to me.”
“And Margo let her get away with that?” Reid raised an eyebrow.
Luke grinned. “Not really. She explained the consequences of her silence to my mother and how she had permission to keep Lily in custody until she cooperated.”
Reid gave a quick nod. That was more like it.
“But unfortunately my grandmother decided to interfere.”
“No!” Reid feigned surprise. “Not Lucinda!?”
Luke slapped Reid softly on his stomach and continued: “So now my mother felt empowered and stood by her demand to talk to me. As you know, I spent some time with my grandmother, yesterday, and she offered to join me. I hadn’t decided one way or the other, but Margo called this morning and told me my mother was really upset and now refusing to eat. So I called my grandmother and we both went to see her.”
Reid’s fingers kept playing with his hair and Luke smiled. He was so glad he could share this now.
“And it was so strange to see her. My grandmother already told me that a few people had tried to talk some sense into her and I honestly think they got to her. She was calm and fairly rational.”
“That’s good,” Reid said as neutral as possible.
“And she was all over me with apologies and promises to do better,” Luke hesitated, “but I had the feeling she still didn’t get the real problem.”
“Not so good.”
“Nope. Her whole defense was based on the fact that my grandmother interfered and manipulated too and that it was accepted behavior and my grandmother got away with it all the time, so I just had to put this behind me, blablabla.”
Reid snorted, but didn’t say anything and Luke continued: “At that moment I was so glad my grandmother was there! In no uncertain terms she helped my mother remember how she hated that interference and how it had affected their mother-daughter relationship.”
“Go Lucinda.”
Luke smiled. “She was amazing. You would’ve enjoyed it. It was brutally honest. How sad she was about my mom taking the same destructive road she had. How eye-opening it was to see her own behavior reflected in my mom’s actions. How she recognized the way my mom was rationalizing her behavior, because she did it the same way. It was pretty powerful, especially at the end, when my grandmother concluded that she understood where all this was coming from, but that it didn’t made it okay. That my mom needed to acknowledge her responsibility for her own choices.”
Reid smiled. He would have loved to be a fly on the wall at this conversation.
“How did your mother take it?”
“She cried. But again…I’m not sure she really got it. She’s been through a lot, the last few years, and I don’t think she really took the time to make sense of it. To really look at her choices and why she made them. And when things start falling apart, she apologizes and expects it to be over. And it’s not. She threatened to shoot you!”
“Did she mention anything about that?”
Luke shrugged. “She was sorry. That’s about it. I think she still justifies her actions, though. When grandmother told her about meeting you at dinner and how much you love me, my mom just dismissed it with a “We’ll see.”
Reid laughed. “That does sounds familiar, I’m afraid.”
Luke came up and smiled at him. “Thank you for listening.”
“Thank you for sharing,” Reid replied with a smile. “How about turning in early?”
“Sounds good,” Luke looked teasing, “And instead of assuming I will come out and ask… do you have any numbers in mind?”
Reid grinned, immediately aware of the underlying question. “I think I can manage a two.”
“A two it is, then.” Luke rose to his feet and pulled Reid out of the couch.
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31
Author: SYLnl
Title: #32 Let's assume
Rating: PG
Summary: Luke has a little secret
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for supporting my scribbles
The crackling of the fire in front of them and the rustling of pages being turned was about the only sound in the room, so the setting was peaceful enough. Reid sat slouched on the couch, reading the latest Medical Journal, and his blond partner leaned against his shoulder, focused on a book. The perfect picture. So it seemed. But something was wrong. The fact that Luke hadn’t turned a page in about ten minutes was a telling sign.
So Reid nudged him softly.
“When were you planning on telling me what’s going on?”
“What?” Luke sounded startled, so Reid knew he was on to something and he tapped Luke’s temple.
“In here. You’ve something on your mind.”
Luke shifted his body and tilted his head, so he could look at Reid.
“How did you know?”
“I’m a genius.” Reid replied on a good-heavens-do-I-have-to-explain-that-again?-tone and Luke chuckled.
“When you’re right, you’re right.” Luke sat up straight, put his book away and turned to Reid.
“I saw my mother today.”
That made Reid lay down his magazine.
“And why didn’t this come up at dinner when I asked you about your day?”
Luke lowered his head.
“You’re tired and I didn’t want to bother you with my drama…”
“Excuse me? We have a serious problem if you think I could ever be too tired to be interested in what’s going on with you.”
To compensate for his harsh tone, he put his arm around Luke and pulled him close. His “Idiot” sounded tender and Luke calmed down. A little.
“I’m sorry, I just assumed…” Luke shrugged, but couldn’t finish his thoughts, because Reid interrupted them.
“That’s not part of our deal, is it? We agreed on communicating, instead of jumping to conclusions. Especially because I almost lost you by assuming you went back to Noah after seeing you in Java.”
Luke nodded. It felt like another lifetime, but he remembered. Clearly. “You’re right. And it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, but you looked so tired and I…”
“…thought it was better for me not to tell.” Reid guessed.
Luke smiled with relief. “Exactly!”
“May I point out that that’s the main reason why your mother is in jail now? Because she thought she knew what’s best for you?”
Reid’s face was all annoyance and Luke felt rejected. “That’s not fair, Reid. I was trying to be considerate.”
“I know,” Reid played with a blond lock, “but the fact remains that you decided what was best for me. What bothers me even more is that you felt you had to put your own needs aside to accommodate me somehow. That’s not a good thing, Luke.”
Luke tried to crawl away in Reid’s armpit. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad,” Reid kissed Luke’s hair. “I’m just sad you effaced yourself like this. You’re the most important person in my life, Luke. I thought you knew that.”
“I do!” Luke sat up straight again and put his hand on Reid’s cheek. “I really do! It’s just that…” Luke shrugged, “I guess I’m not used to it, yet. I’m so accustomed to catering to the needs of everybody around me…it’s like second nature and it just moves in and takes over, without me really noticing it.”
He could feel Reid relax and his nod confirmed it. He understood.
“Yes, that does make sense,” Reid pulled Luke back in. “Come here, you. Bury me in your drama.”
After a quick kiss, Luke laid his head on Reid’s chest and put his arm over Reid’s body. He enjoyed Reid’s arms holding him tight.
“Well, Margo had called me this morning and told me that these last few days my mother didn’t want to cooperate unless she could talk to me.”
“And Margo let her get away with that?” Reid raised an eyebrow.
Luke grinned. “Not really. She explained the consequences of her silence to my mother and how she had permission to keep Lily in custody until she cooperated.”
Reid gave a quick nod. That was more like it.
“But unfortunately my grandmother decided to interfere.”
“No!” Reid feigned surprise. “Not Lucinda!?”
Luke slapped Reid softly on his stomach and continued: “So now my mother felt empowered and stood by her demand to talk to me. As you know, I spent some time with my grandmother, yesterday, and she offered to join me. I hadn’t decided one way or the other, but Margo called this morning and told me my mother was really upset and now refusing to eat. So I called my grandmother and we both went to see her.”
Reid’s fingers kept playing with his hair and Luke smiled. He was so glad he could share this now.
“And it was so strange to see her. My grandmother already told me that a few people had tried to talk some sense into her and I honestly think they got to her. She was calm and fairly rational.”
“That’s good,” Reid said as neutral as possible.
“And she was all over me with apologies and promises to do better,” Luke hesitated, “but I had the feeling she still didn’t get the real problem.”
“Not so good.”
“Nope. Her whole defense was based on the fact that my grandmother interfered and manipulated too and that it was accepted behavior and my grandmother got away with it all the time, so I just had to put this behind me, blablabla.”
Reid snorted, but didn’t say anything and Luke continued: “At that moment I was so glad my grandmother was there! In no uncertain terms she helped my mother remember how she hated that interference and how it had affected their mother-daughter relationship.”
“Go Lucinda.”
Luke smiled. “She was amazing. You would’ve enjoyed it. It was brutally honest. How sad she was about my mom taking the same destructive road she had. How eye-opening it was to see her own behavior reflected in my mom’s actions. How she recognized the way my mom was rationalizing her behavior, because she did it the same way. It was pretty powerful, especially at the end, when my grandmother concluded that she understood where all this was coming from, but that it didn’t made it okay. That my mom needed to acknowledge her responsibility for her own choices.”
Reid smiled. He would have loved to be a fly on the wall at this conversation.
“How did your mother take it?”
“She cried. But again…I’m not sure she really got it. She’s been through a lot, the last few years, and I don’t think she really took the time to make sense of it. To really look at her choices and why she made them. And when things start falling apart, she apologizes and expects it to be over. And it’s not. She threatened to shoot you!”
“Did she mention anything about that?”
Luke shrugged. “She was sorry. That’s about it. I think she still justifies her actions, though. When grandmother told her about meeting you at dinner and how much you love me, my mom just dismissed it with a “We’ll see.”
Reid laughed. “That does sounds familiar, I’m afraid.”
Luke came up and smiled at him. “Thank you for listening.”
“Thank you for sharing,” Reid replied with a smile. “How about turning in early?”
“Sounds good,” Luke looked teasing, “And instead of assuming I will come out and ask… do you have any numbers in mind?”
Reid grinned, immediately aware of the underlying question. “I think I can manage a two.”
“A two it is, then.” Luke rose to his feet and pulled Reid out of the couch.
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31