38 Breaking the circle
Word Soap: As The World Keeps Turning
Author: SYLnl
Title: #38 Breaking the circle
Rating: PG
Summary: Misunderstandings
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31 #32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37
His left hand was on Luke’s stomach and blond locks tickled his right arm. Their bodies fit so perfectly… Reid desperately tried to stay in the daze between sleep and waking up, but an annoying sound was pulling him to earth. What the…
“What is that sound?” Luke grumbled, also waking up slowly.
“No clue,” Reid whispered, pulled himself away from Luke with a discontented moan and reached for his phone. 3.13 am? He promised himself to fire whatever nurse neglected to check the schedule and had the nerve to call him when he was not on call. He calmed down when he realized his phone was quiet. The buzzing sound was in the hall…
“I think somebody is at the gate…” Reid suggested, while Luke slowly started to get up.
“You stay. I’ll check.” He pulled on his black lounge trousers and a sweater and hurried to the intercom.
With his eyes closed, Reid listened to Luke’s voice in the distance. He couldn’t hear the actual conversation, but by the sound of it there was a lot of talk going back and forth. Who the…
With a deep growl, Reid put on some clothes and joined Luke. Still in the process of waking up, he had trouble realizing what he was looking at on the screen, but he did recognize the voice immediately. Even with the distinctive blur of too much alcohol.
“What is he doing here?”
“He wants to talk to me,” Luke sounded tired on many levels.
“He does know how to tell time, right?”
“He’s drunk.”
“I heard.”
“And I told him to leave, but he won’t listen.”
“Of course not.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Luke whispered.
“May I?” Reid stepped forward after Luke’s nod and pushed the intercom.
“Mr. Mayer, please leave or I’ll call the police.”
He could hear Noah laugh.
“I don’t think he’s taking me very seriously,” Reid murmured and showed Luke his phone, “but he soon will be. I came prepared.”
Luke’s hand on his arm and the look on his face stopped him. Reid steered between frustration and despondency. Would this ever be over? One thing he knew for sure. This wasn’t his battle.
He put his phone in Luke’s hand.
“Okay then, you decide what to do with him. I’m going back to bed.” He kissed Luke on his hair and walked away.
Reid lost all track of time and he had no idea how long he’d be waiting on Luke’s return. Without undressing - that was a first - Luke came to bed, but didn’t make any approach. Another first. No changes for the better, though. Reid turned to Luke and when he touched him, he was startled by the cold skin.
“You’re freezing,” Reid whispered. “Why don’t you come closer, so I can…”
“I can’t do this,” Luke jumped out of bed and left the bedroom. Although Reid wasn’t able to see Luke’s face, his voice had given him away. Luke was crying.
Damn. Reid sat up. He was at a loss here. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what Luke wanted him to do. What could he do? The only thing he could come up with was ‘being there for Luke’, whatever that meant. He put on his trousers, socks and sweatshirt again, picked up their huge comforter and went on a search and rescue mission.
He found Luke in front of the fire place. Crouched on the couch, Luke looked like one big lump of grief. Reid could actually feel his heart break. A little sharp sting cut his way through his chest. Now what?
Without a word Reid wrapped Luke in the comforter, sat next to him, pulled the blanket over himself, put his arm around Luke - he was still so cold! - pulled him close and let the warmth work its magic.
He didn’t speak. Not when he felt Luke crying. Not when he felt Luke calming down. Not when he felt Luke warming up. Not when he felt Luke relaxing in his arm. He just sat there, holding Luke, caressing his upper arm, hoping and praying it was enough.
It took Luke like forever - or so it felt - to make contact. He tilted his head and looked Reid in the eyes. Reid’s thumb softly touched Luke's chin and his smile was loving. Are you okay?
“How can I stay mad at you if you’re being all loving like this…” Luke started and baffled Reid. Hold the phone. Luke was mad at him?
“What did I do?” Reid’s genuine surprise clearly frustrated Luke.
“You don’t know?” Luke sat up, so he could see Reid’s face. “You honestly don’t know?”
Reid knew his answer could make the situation worse, but he refused to lie about it. “I’m clueless.”
“You abandoned me!” Luke’s eyes filled up again. “I told you I didn’t know what to do and you just left me there. To sort it out on my own!”
Reid was in shock. He had no idea! He put his hand on Luke’s cheek and waited until Luke was ready to look at him.
“I’m so sorry you felt that way. That wasn’t my intention at all!”
“A part of me knows that,” Luke sniffled. “but I had all these scenarios in my head and I just don’t know what to believe anymore.”
“I understand,” Reid softy said. “Can I share my point of view?”
Luke gave him a nod, wiping away some tears.
“After you told me you didn’t know what to do, I showed you my solution… calling the police. You made it clear you didn’t want to go there and it made me realize that you were not ready to break the circle with Noah. And that’s okay. Some things take as long as they take,” Reid gave a quick smile, “Wheee, just had a flashback. Anyway, I left you alone to give you time and space to work this out at your own pace.”
Luke sniffed. “That actually makes sense,” he whispered.
“I’m glad.”
“I guess I overreacted…again.” Luke shook his head and caressed Reid’s face. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay,” Reid smiled.
“No, it’s not,” Luke had both hands on Reid’s face now, “Reid, it’s not okay. I went all cold and angry on you, while you were acting with the best intentions. That’s not okay. I don’t want you ending up…resenting me.”
“Ha!” Reid kissed Luke firmly. “That will take a lot more than a little misunderstanding like this.”
“I hope so,” Luke bit his lip. “You once told me patience isn’t your best event and although all your actions so far are proof to the contrary, I’m still worried I will push you to the limit with all my drama and emotional baggage…”
“I promise I will let you know when I start to feel that way,” Reid whispered in Luke’s hair. “But for some reason everything is different when it comes to you.”
“Meaning?”
“I wasn’t lying about my patience, back then. And you’ve witnessed my rudeness, my short fuse, my lack of sympathy for idiots and my incapability to feign compassion,” when Reid saw Luke’s upcoming protest, he raised his hand. “No, you know it’s true. But with you…whatever you throw at me…for some reason all my brain can produce is this one thought…God, how I love this guy.”
Luke was laughing and crying at the same time. “I really wonder who I was in a past life to deserve you in this one,” he whispered before he leaned in for a kiss.
“You don’t have to go back that far,” Reid smiled. “You just don’t realize how special you are and it’s my mission in life to keep telling you.”
“I can live with that,” Luke grinned as he latched himself onto Reid.
“So we’re good?” Reid wanted to make sure.
“We’re very good,” Luke nodded.
“And dare I ask how Noah is doing?”
Luke chuckled. “Not so good, I guess.”
“Tell me.”
“I did call the police.” Luke tilted his head so he could see Reid’s reaction and it didn’t disappoint. It was an interesting mixture of surprise, joy and admiration.
“You really did? Why?”
“Because it was the only way to make him understand I was serious.”
“Wow…” Reid was still in shock. “That must have been difficult to do…”
“You know…I thought so too, but it really wasn’t. It felt good to stand up for myself.”
“I’m glad.” Reid kissed Luke’s temple and smiled. So maybe Luke had managed to break the circle after all. Life was getting better and better.
Author: SYLnl
Title: #38 Breaking the circle
Rating: PG
Summary: Misunderstandings
Big Thanks To: ltklo, for brushing up my grammar
Previously on As The World Keeps Turning:
#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10 #11 #12 #13 #14 #15 #16 #17 #18 #19 #20
#21 #22 #23 #24 #25 #26 #27 #28 #29 #30 #31 #32 #33 #34 #35 #36 #37
His left hand was on Luke’s stomach and blond locks tickled his right arm. Their bodies fit so perfectly… Reid desperately tried to stay in the daze between sleep and waking up, but an annoying sound was pulling him to earth. What the…
“What is that sound?” Luke grumbled, also waking up slowly.
“No clue,” Reid whispered, pulled himself away from Luke with a discontented moan and reached for his phone. 3.13 am? He promised himself to fire whatever nurse neglected to check the schedule and had the nerve to call him when he was not on call. He calmed down when he realized his phone was quiet. The buzzing sound was in the hall…
“I think somebody is at the gate…” Reid suggested, while Luke slowly started to get up.
“You stay. I’ll check.” He pulled on his black lounge trousers and a sweater and hurried to the intercom.
With his eyes closed, Reid listened to Luke’s voice in the distance. He couldn’t hear the actual conversation, but by the sound of it there was a lot of talk going back and forth. Who the…
With a deep growl, Reid put on some clothes and joined Luke. Still in the process of waking up, he had trouble realizing what he was looking at on the screen, but he did recognize the voice immediately. Even with the distinctive blur of too much alcohol.
“What is he doing here?”
“He wants to talk to me,” Luke sounded tired on many levels.
“He does know how to tell time, right?”
“He’s drunk.”
“I heard.”
“And I told him to leave, but he won’t listen.”
“Of course not.”
“I don’t know what to do.” Luke whispered.
“May I?” Reid stepped forward after Luke’s nod and pushed the intercom.
“Mr. Mayer, please leave or I’ll call the police.”
He could hear Noah laugh.
“I don’t think he’s taking me very seriously,” Reid murmured and showed Luke his phone, “but he soon will be. I came prepared.”
Luke’s hand on his arm and the look on his face stopped him. Reid steered between frustration and despondency. Would this ever be over? One thing he knew for sure. This wasn’t his battle.
He put his phone in Luke’s hand.
“Okay then, you decide what to do with him. I’m going back to bed.” He kissed Luke on his hair and walked away.
Reid lost all track of time and he had no idea how long he’d be waiting on Luke’s return. Without undressing - that was a first - Luke came to bed, but didn’t make any approach. Another first. No changes for the better, though. Reid turned to Luke and when he touched him, he was startled by the cold skin.
“You’re freezing,” Reid whispered. “Why don’t you come closer, so I can…”
“I can’t do this,” Luke jumped out of bed and left the bedroom. Although Reid wasn’t able to see Luke’s face, his voice had given him away. Luke was crying.
Damn. Reid sat up. He was at a loss here. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what Luke wanted him to do. What could he do? The only thing he could come up with was ‘being there for Luke’, whatever that meant. He put on his trousers, socks and sweatshirt again, picked up their huge comforter and went on a search and rescue mission.
He found Luke in front of the fire place. Crouched on the couch, Luke looked like one big lump of grief. Reid could actually feel his heart break. A little sharp sting cut his way through his chest. Now what?
Without a word Reid wrapped Luke in the comforter, sat next to him, pulled the blanket over himself, put his arm around Luke - he was still so cold! - pulled him close and let the warmth work its magic.
He didn’t speak. Not when he felt Luke crying. Not when he felt Luke calming down. Not when he felt Luke warming up. Not when he felt Luke relaxing in his arm. He just sat there, holding Luke, caressing his upper arm, hoping and praying it was enough.
It took Luke like forever - or so it felt - to make contact. He tilted his head and looked Reid in the eyes. Reid’s thumb softly touched Luke's chin and his smile was loving. Are you okay?
“How can I stay mad at you if you’re being all loving like this…” Luke started and baffled Reid. Hold the phone. Luke was mad at him?
“What did I do?” Reid’s genuine surprise clearly frustrated Luke.
“You don’t know?” Luke sat up, so he could see Reid’s face. “You honestly don’t know?”
Reid knew his answer could make the situation worse, but he refused to lie about it. “I’m clueless.”
“You abandoned me!” Luke’s eyes filled up again. “I told you I didn’t know what to do and you just left me there. To sort it out on my own!”
Reid was in shock. He had no idea! He put his hand on Luke’s cheek and waited until Luke was ready to look at him.
“I’m so sorry you felt that way. That wasn’t my intention at all!”
“A part of me knows that,” Luke sniffled. “but I had all these scenarios in my head and I just don’t know what to believe anymore.”
“I understand,” Reid softy said. “Can I share my point of view?”
Luke gave him a nod, wiping away some tears.
“After you told me you didn’t know what to do, I showed you my solution… calling the police. You made it clear you didn’t want to go there and it made me realize that you were not ready to break the circle with Noah. And that’s okay. Some things take as long as they take,” Reid gave a quick smile, “Wheee, just had a flashback. Anyway, I left you alone to give you time and space to work this out at your own pace.”
Luke sniffed. “That actually makes sense,” he whispered.
“I’m glad.”
“I guess I overreacted…again.” Luke shook his head and caressed Reid’s face. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay,” Reid smiled.
“No, it’s not,” Luke had both hands on Reid’s face now, “Reid, it’s not okay. I went all cold and angry on you, while you were acting with the best intentions. That’s not okay. I don’t want you ending up…resenting me.”
“Ha!” Reid kissed Luke firmly. “That will take a lot more than a little misunderstanding like this.”
“I hope so,” Luke bit his lip. “You once told me patience isn’t your best event and although all your actions so far are proof to the contrary, I’m still worried I will push you to the limit with all my drama and emotional baggage…”
“I promise I will let you know when I start to feel that way,” Reid whispered in Luke’s hair. “But for some reason everything is different when it comes to you.”
“Meaning?”
“I wasn’t lying about my patience, back then. And you’ve witnessed my rudeness, my short fuse, my lack of sympathy for idiots and my incapability to feign compassion,” when Reid saw Luke’s upcoming protest, he raised his hand. “No, you know it’s true. But with you…whatever you throw at me…for some reason all my brain can produce is this one thought…God, how I love this guy.”
Luke was laughing and crying at the same time. “I really wonder who I was in a past life to deserve you in this one,” he whispered before he leaned in for a kiss.
“You don’t have to go back that far,” Reid smiled. “You just don’t realize how special you are and it’s my mission in life to keep telling you.”
“I can live with that,” Luke grinned as he latched himself onto Reid.
“So we’re good?” Reid wanted to make sure.
“We’re very good,” Luke nodded.
“And dare I ask how Noah is doing?”
Luke chuckled. “Not so good, I guess.”
“Tell me.”
“I did call the police.” Luke tilted his head so he could see Reid’s reaction and it didn’t disappoint. It was an interesting mixture of surprise, joy and admiration.
“You really did? Why?”
“Because it was the only way to make him understand I was serious.”
“Wow…” Reid was still in shock. “That must have been difficult to do…”
“You know…I thought so too, but it really wasn’t. It felt good to stand up for myself.”
“I’m glad.” Reid kissed Luke’s temple and smiled. So maybe Luke had managed to break the circle after all. Life was getting better and better.