Now and Again (35/??)
Title: Now and Again
Author: alissablue
Rating: R, will be NC-17 eventually.
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid, Noah, other Oakdale characters and an OC here or there.
Category: Fix it-fic, AU
Summary: “If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.”- W.I. Thomas
Warnings: Angsty Angst, some mindfuckery
Disclaimer: Do not own. Wish I did, though. I could make them do all sorts of kinky stuff.
A/N: Keywords for this fic are ‘patience’ and ‘payoff’. Title credit goes to my epically awesome beta slayerkitty, who deserves a round of applause for sitting through my long rants, freak outs, smut-related giggles and posting hesitation.
A/N: Me + comments is like... Reid + Sandwiches<3.
Prologue / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 /
21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 / 26 / 27 / 28 / 29 / 30 / 31 / 32 / 33 / 34 /
Chapter 35: I like my men a little feisty
Luke’s dreams were changing once again.
In the past three days, his mind had only had room for one moment he remembered, instead of countless moments he didn’t. Before, he’d stood on the sidelines as if he was watching a train wreck he couldn’t tear his eyes away from. Seeing and hearing conversations with Reid he couldn’t remember having, as he watched himself, while being himself, but not himself at all.
Before, he’d woken up to his own cries and screams and later to his breathy moans and gasps and sighs, as he remembered Reid’s lips on his and his lean fingers digging into the muscles of his back. But now, in the burning summer heat of early mid August, he was aware of his every move. No longer standing on the sidelines, no longer confused about his surroundings, he was aware of every word he said, and the hurt written all over Reid’s face as he did.
I’ve had enough of that from Noah.
He always woke up before he could take it back.
********
There were a lot of things Reid Oliver knew about Katie Peretti -Frasier Coleman Kasnoff Snyder- Snyder. He knew she was a horrible driver, how she liked her coffee in the morning, what songs she liked to sing to Jacob and he knew quite a few things about her history in Oakdale, courtesy of Katie being a -Reid’s words, not hers- “cloying, sunshine shitting blabbermouth”.
Katie had conveniently left out a few details, though. One of the most important things she’d left out, was her talent to conduct elaborate schemes to get what she or the people she loved wanted or needed in their lives. Trying to seduce Holden Snyder, helping Vienna with her fake pregnancy and falsely accusing Chris of stalking her all those years ago, came to mind, among other things. And, although a lot of her plans had backfired on her in some way throughout the years, Katie knew without a doubt that this one would in fact work.
A few days ago, Katie had walked in on her roommate with Luke Snyder. Jumping apart when Katie had walked in, Luke and Reid had obviously been doing something. Something that had involved the unbuttoning of Reid’s shirt. She didn’t have to take a wild guess to figure out what they’d been doing, but it was also quite obvious that it hadn’t ended well. Not long after Katie had walked in on them, Luke had left in a hurry and Reid had reverted back to his moping, grumpy self.
But, fortunately for Reid and Luke, Katie knew just how to fix that.
“So you haven’t spoken to him at all?” She took a seat across the table from him, carefully putting down her latté. “It’s been three days, Reid. You’ve both had some time to calm down. So why don’t you just go see him?”
Reid glared at her. Ever since he’d had that fight with Luke, Katie had started to bring up Luke in nearly every single conversation. From a discussion about the dishes to one on how to properly fold Jacob’s clothes, it all led to Katie somehow directing the conversation back to Luke and their fight. Reid had yet to tell her anything and she was desperate for answers, claiming that he might as well tell her, “because this is Oakdale, Reid. Nothing ever stays a secret in Oakdale.”
“Reid?”
He groaned, as he pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling his temples starting to throb again. “Why won’t you just drop this?”
“Because I think you’d be great together and it would be a shame to let that go to waste.”
“You’ve only been in the same room with us twice. What the hell do you know?”
“I know these things. I know you and I know Luke and you’re both making this far too complicated.” She looked over Reid’s shoulder, lingering for a moment, until focusing on Reid again with a smirk. Reid took a sip of his caramel latté and frowned at her, not liking the smirk on her face one bit. It was a little too mischievous for his comfort and just as he was about to turn around to see what she’d been looking at, she spoke up again.
“Which is why I thought I’d help you out!”
“What are you-”
“Luke!” He choked on his drink, the liquid instantly burning his throat and causing a fit of coughs. He turned around and saw Luke standing at the counter, hesitant to approach them and looking like a deer caught in the headlights, as if he knew just as much about this as Reid. Katie waved at him repeatedly, until Luke reluctantly came over.
Since Luke had basically stormed out of his apartment, he’d returned to his Luke-free existence by day and Luke-filled nights, with the added bonus of seeing the hurt expression on Luke’s face and hearing his broken voice everywhere he went. Every second and every minute and hour of every day felt drenched in the ache and quiet longing and the feeling as though he could spontaneously combust at any given moment and the words ‘I’ve had enough of that from Noah’ rang through his mind like a broken record.
And the last thing Reid had wanted was to be anything like Noah Mayer.
Reid focused on his drink instead of Luke, but as Luke approached them, he couldn’t help but shoot a quick glance at him from the corner of his eye and as he did, he realized he’d missed him. A lot. His heart may or may not have skipped a beat at the sight and his stomach could have quite possibly rumbled.
Luke, on the other hand, was angry. He was angry at himself for still missing Reid and angry at Reid for making him feel that way and he had this niggling feeling that he’d be angry at Katie too in a few minutes. In the past few days, he’d had some time to reflect on everything, repeating the events that had led to Reid pushing him away over and over again and he still didn’t have the slightest clue what had gone wrong. While he’d compared Reid to Noah in the heat of the moment, hurt and angry for being shut out and rejected and reminded of the times he hadn’t felt good enough for Noah, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that Reid was different.
And more, Reid was more. He’d never felt the things he felt when he kissed Reid and laid his hand over Reid’s heart, feeling the rhythm that sounded so familiar to him. Reid’s heart had felt like home and the fact that he even thought that, when Reid had pushed him away, made him angry too.
Approaching Reid and Katie’s table, he felt Reid’s eyes on him for a second, his penetrating stare making the tiny, blond hairs on the back of his neck stand up, his palms sweat and shivers run down his spine and every bit of oxygen appeared to have left the room. When he couldn’t feel Reid’s eyes anymore, he sneaked a quick glance himself, his mouth going dry at the sight.
“Come join us, please, won’t you?”
“I don’t think I should, Katie.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t really have time to sit down and chat-”
“You said you were available when I called you.” Reid narrowed his eyes at her, not noticing that Luke was doing the same thing. Luke opened and closed his mouth a few times, but then settled on a tilt of his head to the side and a fake smile. Katie had indeed called him the day before, claiming she needed a word of advice on something and looking back, Luke realized he should have know better.
“Yes, but you just conveniently failed to mention that Reid was gonna be here too.”
“Did I? Really? Well, Reid doesn’t mind.”
Reid rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, taking a small sip of his coffee. “Reid is sitting right here. And Reid would like it if you’d stop talking about him as if he isn’t.”
Katie directed her attention at Reid, the gleam in her eyes telling him she was about to put the grand finale of her idiotic master plan in motion. It was as though time slowed down right in front of him, as Katie looked down at her watch and looked back up at him and Luke with a smirk.
“Oh, would you look at the time.” She said in a sing-songy voice, before faking a deep, dramatic sigh. “Sorry, boys, I have somewhere else I need to be.”
“No, you don’t, you’re just making that up!” Luke exclaimed in a high pitched tone, as Reid muttered ‘I hate you’ under his breath. Katie smiled, no, positively grinned, before drinking the final bits of coffee in her cup, grabbing her purse and standing up with her hands on her hips, as if she was daring them to do something about it. Both men just stared at her like petulant children scolded by their mother, their eyes following her every move until she walked past them with a ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or, on second thought, please do.’ and a slight sway of her hips in her steps, pleased with herself at yet another soon to be successful matchmaking attempt.
As soon as she’d walked out of the door, her long blonde locks swaying from side to side with her steps, reality hit them. Luke, standing right next to Reid’s chair, stepped away with a sneer, putting on a face Reid could only describe as a ‘bitch face’ and it made the corners of Reid’s mouth twitch in spite of himself.
“God, that’s great. Just swell… She’s your roommate, you couldn’t have stopped her?!”
“Oh, so, when she called you, it never occurred to you that she could be setting us up somehow?” Reid stood up, the scraping sound of his chair cutting through the silence and he moved toward him, only coming to a halt when he was about a feet away from him. His invasion of Luke’s personal space threw Luke off guard for a second, as his eyes flickered to Reid’s lips, his jaw line and his long neck, lingering on the spot just below Reid’s ear where his lips had been right before their fight. He forced himself to look away and met Reid’s eyes again and he tried not to show Reid how his close proximity was affecting him despite the anger still right underneath the surface.
“Whatever, Reid. Go ahead, pretend you didn’t know about this. Like you didn’t want this to happen. What- You enjoy kicking me when I’m down?”
“I didn’t. And even if I did know about this, then what would be my sinister plan? Get you here, so you could yell at me? I like my men a little feisty, sure, but-”
“Don’t joke about this!”, Luke warned, his voice rising with each syllable and causing a few heads to turn in their direction. Luke’s eyes darted away from Reid for a brief moment, remembering their location and he looked down at Reid’s chest, covered by fabric where he’d laid his hand over Reid’s heart.
“You got your wish, I’m staying away from you, so make sure it doesn’t happen again.”, he whispered, the anger in his voice replaced with a sadness Reid never wanted to hear again, before walking away from Reid in a huff.
The need for air hit Reid as soon as Luke walked out of Java and he felt the familiar pressure on his chest. He covered his heart with his hand, needing the reassurance and he instantly relaxed as he felt the drumming rhythm. The few people in the coffee shop, who’d followed their conversation, were still staring at him, as if it was the most exciting thing to happen to them in ages. Reid glared back, the glare being impressive enough to scare whoever was still looking, before walking out of the place himself in search for Luke.
********
He didn’t even know why he wanted -needed- to find Luke, but he looked for him anyway, scanning the small square outside of Java for any sign of Luke and muttering profanities under his breath for caring so much about a blond, pouty brat, until he saw him leaning against a wall of the alley behind Al’s diner and all his reasons for not wanting to be with Luke faded away. Luke was running his hands through his hair, the place where Reid’s fingers wanted to be, recollecting himself out of plain sight.
He didn’t hear Reid’s steps, until Reid appeared a few feet away from him, carefully approaching him as if he was a frightened prey. Luke then finally noticed him and groaned out of frustration, stepping away from him with the intent of leaving him behind, but his attempt failed miserably, as Reid reached out, forcibly and roughly grabbed his arm and pulled him closer, making sure they were eye to eye.
“Are we done with the drama, Luciano?”
“Don’t call me that! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Luke yelled harshly, his voice echoing through the dark, secluded alley. He put both of his hands on Reid’s shoulders and shoved him twice, until Reid felt his back hit the cold, brick wall behind him with a thud.
“This conversation would be a whole lot more pleasant, if you’d stop shoving me.”
“Shut up, Reid!” Luke’s hands left Reid’s shoulders with a final shove. He was still so angry with Reid for pushing him away, when all he’d wanted was more of him, to touch him and kiss him and feel his skin and mesmerizing heartbeat. And he knew that one minute of Reid would be enough to make that go away, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for his anger to dissipate.
“God, you’re so-” Luke made a frustrating gesture with his hands. “Why are you even here?”
“Because I’m not Noah. You accused me of being like him, but I’m not.”
“I know, I know you're not... You're nothing like him and I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He cleared his throat, clearing it of the fear he still felt in his fibers and he pushed through it, gently taking a hold of Luke’s hand, encouraged when Luke didn’t flinch and let him. “Could we start over? Press the delete button and open a new file?”
“Not if you’re going to push me away again.” Luke lowered his head and he looked down at their joined hands. Reid’s hand was warm in his own, soothing like a pillar of strength. It was a strange thing to feel, a peculiar contrast to the way Reid had flinched, when Luke had tried to calm him down after he’d pushed Luke away.
“I won’t.” The hand not holding Luke’s, tapped rhythmically against his upper leg, tapping away his fears. “You were right, I fucked up. I…” Reid looked away from him, clenching his jaw as if he was trying to keep in the words escaping from him. “I freaked out and I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” Luke sadly responded. “And I’d love to let it go and start over, but that wouldn’t change anything… It wouldn’t change the fact that you just won’t let me in and let me get to- to know you.” ‘Love you’ was on the tip of his tongue. Reid wouldn’t let Luke love him and Luke felt like he was falling in love with a brick wall he couldn’t break down.
“I feel so much when I’m around you and one minute you can’t take your eyes off me and the next it seems like you’d give anything not to be around me.”
“I know that, Luke.”
“How come?”
“I can't- Do you need a reason for everything? What for? To psychoanalyze me with some load of crap from magazines you found at your dentist’s office?”
Luke pulled away from Reid, removing Reid’s hand from his own as if it hurt and letting the anger take over again. His cheeks reddened and his jaw clenched and he raised his voice in the secluded, dark alley. “You know what? Just forget it, Reid. Fine- Be a jerk. I’m done, okay? Have a nice life!”
Luke stared at him for a second, putting on the face Reid had categorized as a ‘bitch face’ at Java and he turned away from him with the intent to get away from him. Luke took a few steps, getting as far as almost stepping out of the shadow into the light of day and the square and suffocating freedom, when he heard Reid’s voice behind him.
“Just hold up, wait one minute. Luke, don’t-”
Luke turned around and moved closer to him again, the draw he still felt toward Reid not lost upon him. His eyes found Reid’s and he searched them, looking for the same answers he always longed to find in them. “Don’t what, Reid?” He asked, his voice now considerably softer than a few moments earlier. “What now? Don’t touch you? Don’t look at you the way I do? How can I not?”
“Don’t leave.” Reid murmured. “Just stay, hear me out.”
“Why? Why the hell would I even bother?”
“Because, damnit, Luke- I think I’m falling for you… And I don’t know how to deal with that.”
NEXT
********
A/N: 1) So, the good news is that I'll actually have some time to write next week! Yay for that! The bad news, however, is that I've got midterms this week and my posting cushion is this small, so there's a good chance there won't be another update this week. 2) I know this probably isn't the easiest story to stick with and we still have about twenty chapters to go, give or take. But I just want to let you all know that I'm a sap that it means a lot to me that you're still giving this story a chance. Thanks to all who read. =)