Now and Again (26/??)
Title: Now and Again
Author: alissablue
Rating: PG-13/R, will be NC-17 eventually.
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Reid, Noah, other Oakdale characters and an OC here or there.
Category: Fix it-fic, AU
Summary: “If men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences.”- W.I. Thomas
Warnings: Angsty Angst, some mindfuckery
Disclaimer: Do not own. Wish I did, though. I could make them do all sorts of kinky stuff.
A/N: Keywords for this fic are ‘patience’ and ‘payoff’. Title credit goes to my epically awesome beta slayerkitty, who deserves a round of applause for sitting through my long rants, freak outs, smut-related giggles and posting hesitation.
A/N: Me + comments is like... Reid + Sandwiches<3.
Prologue / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 /
21 / 22 / 23 / 24 / 25 /
Chapter 26: You’re crossing the line, Mr. Snyder
Reid led Luke into the locker room and he cursed under his breath, when he realized it was empty for the first time since he’d started working there and that it meant that he was now alone with Luke Snyder. No barista’s in green shirts, no Katie and for once without the chance of William Channing’s horrible timing interrupting them.
When Luke had told Reid he was there to see him and had asked him if he had a minute, Reid had said ‘yes’ within the blink of an eye, not realizing he’d done so until he saw the blinding smile on Luke’s face and the blush on his cheeks.
And for the past few minutes he’d hoped for his pager to go off, for an intern to screw up or for something else to happen to make sure he didn’t have to be alone with Luke. The last thing he needed right now was alone time with the guy he couldn’t stop thinking about.
Luke looked around, taking in the space he vaguely recognized. He didn’t know if he’d actually been there before or if he’d dreamed about it. He felt Reid’s eyes on him from across the room and he shut his own for a second and took a deep breath, as he realized that he was alone with Reid, in private, just the two of them and Luke had to remind himself of what he was doing there in the first place.
Explore and hear and taste and feel.
Feel him.
All of it and everything and nothing and something.
Anything.
“Noah said he met you, in Dallas.” Luke turned around to face him and Reid nodded courtly. Luke smiled at him, making the corners of Reid’s mouth unwillingly twitch.
“Well, I was in Dallas, too. I’m the one who brought Dr. Channing to Oakdale.”
“You were?,” Reid asked, clearing his throat and crossing his arms over his chest as a reflex, as though his limbs could sense Luke breaking down the walls Reid put around himself. He wondered if he’d spent time at Parkland at the same time as Luke, wandering the halls and missing him by a hair.
“Yeah… And I saw you, on the day that you left, I think…” The surgeon heard Luke’s words and clenched his jaw and Luke looked at Reid as he said them and paused, as he saw that it had caused a faint reaction. “I left Dallas that day, too, but not before I- I tried to find you.”
Reid remembered his last day in Dallas, talking to Dr. Nelson about his move to Oakdale, when he’d heard his name and seen something, someone in the corner of his eye. It had only lasted a second or two and it barely should have registered, but he remembered it vividly. He remembered how the dull ache and the disentanglement he’d felt for months had faded for a split second and he now realized that it had been Luke across the hall. -Luke, Luke, Luke.- Luke had seen him and tried to find him and Luke had perhaps felt or still felt all that Reid himself felt whenever Luke was around and the ache and the urge and the longing and that felt a little too real.
“Why’s that?”
“I think you know why.” Luke held his stare, unwavering and certain and nothing like the younger, blushing man Reid had seen several times by now and Reid looked away and his blue eyes darted across the room, trying to find something, anything else to focus on than Luke. He knew, knew very well why and that Luke probably couldn’t stop thinking about him as well, but Luke was standing there, right there, looking at him and poking and prodding and pushing him and Reid had a feeling that Luke wasn’t going to stop pushing until he pushed too far.
“You do, don’t you, Reid?”
“Dr. Oliver,” he choked out, fighting to keep control over just one small thing, one thread, one stitch, one last red brick supporting the wall -his wall-, the bridge from his sanity to oblivion or all consuming madness.
“Reid…”
“You’re crossing the line, Mr. Snyder. Don’t.” He warned, as Luke took a step toward him and he instinctively stepped back.
“Why not?”
“You know why not.”
“Nope, no clue.”
“You do, don’t lie.”
“Tell me.”
“Are you always this frustrating?”
“Only on Tuesdays.”
“Stop.”
“No.”
Each word had caused another two steps, one forward from Luke and one back from Reid. Luke shook his head and took another step toward Reid, almost closing the distance between them. Reid wanted to take another step back, but his feet wouldn’t let him and Luke was so close, so dangerously close and he couldn’t pull away.
“Why?”
“Because one of us should. And I can’t-” His eyes quickly darted down to Luke’s lips, his slightly parted, moist lips Reid couldn’t get out of his head. “I can’t stop.”
“Then don’t.”
Luke tentatively reached out and softly placed his hand on Reid’s cheek, careful not to startle him, as his thumb brushed past Reid’s cheekbone and lingered right at the centre of the line underneath his left blue eye. The tips of his fingers covered Reid’s ear, as he felt the curves and lines of it underneath his touch and the beginnings of Reid’s auburn curls teased the very endings, the edges of Luke’s fingertips. Reid shut his eyes instantly, his eyelashes fluttering against Luke’s thumb and he inhaled, sharply and deeply and as unsteadily as he nearly trembled as if he was about to collapse.
“Stop…”
“No.”
Luke felt Reid’s warm breaths on his lips and he inhaled Reid’s exhalations, getting heavier, more rapid and unsteady as moments passed and the tension increased and thickened. He whispered Reid’s name, once, twice, as he searched his clear blue eyes, searched for anything familiar to explain why it felt so good to stand this close to him, to touch him, whisper his name and breathe in the air he exhaled.
As he felt Luke’s hand on his skin, the touch scorching and burning figurative holes through his skin, he opened his eyes and realized he’d somehow stepped back enough to be leaning against the wall with Luke almost hovering over him. He could feel the coldness of the wall behind him against his shoulder blades, which meant that his back was literally against the wall with no means to escape except going through the collection of muscles and bones and flesh known as Luke Snyder. Luke Snyder who was currently touching him, cupping his cheek with such affection, such care and amazement and wonder -How do I make you feel?- and looking at him like he was the first thing Luke had ever laid eyes on.
But escape meant denying himself of Luke yet again, like he forced himself to do each time he found himself in the presence of the young blond, because the degree of depravity that consumed his mind could only be translated into heat wave levels hot enough to melt a thermometer and the feelings- the overwhelming, gut wrenching, heart aching - heartbreaking, heart-stopping- passionate, can’t-eat-can’t-sleep feelings that went along with that depravity, made him want so, so much, too much, too much to stay even remotely sane.
And Reid wanted to stay sane, he did.
But -right then, right there- Reid was hungry, famished, starving and Luke looked like lunch, like breakfast, like dinner, like a tasty, hot, side dish or perhaps even the damn main course or the five star restaurant itself.
Keeping his sanity didn’t seem nearly as appealing as Luke Snyder.
“Let me in,” Luke whispered, breathlessly, moving the hand on Reid’s cheek down to his jaw line, where he felt the light stubble underneath his fingertips. He traced the lines of Reid’s lips with his thumb, three times back and forth, taking a long, deep breath, before he leaned in and pressed the softest kiss on Reid’s lips, sighing against him, as though he’d lived without him for a hundred years and as if kissing him was all he needed to survive and breathe and walk and talk and speak and live and feel.
And Reid hadn't.
He hadn't survived, hadn't breathed or walked or talked or spoken or felt anything before that.
He hadn't lived, hadn't been alive. He couldn’t have been. No way, no how. There wasn’t even the slightest possibility, not statistically, not creatively. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he’d been dead all his life. Dead and cursed and lost and aching and so, so numb, a floating ghost right up until the moment he was introduced to Luke’s lips.
Reid resisted the urge to whimper when Luke pulled back, feeling the loss of Luke’s pouty lips and his eyes stayed shut until he felt Luke’s lingering breaths on his lips. He swallowed thickly, overcome and overwhelmed, and he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing, no sounds or breaths escaped from him.
He felt Luke pulling away from him, stepping back and removing the hand that still rested on his cheek and he couldn’t lose the touch and the contact and the feel of Luke and nothing about his hunger, about the seethed craving, the deep, raw need still building inside of him, none of it felt tamed by that first soft press on his lips. He was still hungry and famished and starving and as he felt Luke letting go of his hold on him, releasing his grip carefully as if he was scared that he’d hurt Reid, Reid moved on instinct, blindly finding Luke’s wrist and gripping it tightly and tugging on it hard enough for Luke to stumble forward against him.
There was nothing between their bodies but fabric and thick, clouded air and nothing between their eyes, lips and limbs but shallow, panting breaths and each second of looking into Luke’s eyes, darkened with the desire to abuse whatever tenderness there had been in that first kiss, was like a teasing, tempting drop of water dangled in front of Reid after trudging through the desert for six months, two weeks, one day and eleven hours.
Luke was close, so close Reid felt like he could burst, come undone from this alone, like this was enough to set his nerve endings on fire, as his flesh and veins and heart throbbed and pounded and he couldn’t tear himself away from the eyes looking back at him. Reid’s other hand moved up, from Luke’s side to his hand to his arm, his shoulder, the crook of his neck to the strands of dirty blond on the back of his head. Luke shut his eyes with a strangled gasp and shivered slightly, as he felt Reid’s fingertips on the nape of his neck.
“What are you doing?” He asked, whispering as though any kind of sound would be enough to set off whatever he was trying to fight.
Reid needed more. “You can’t just leave a man hanging like that, Snyder.” He needed so much more, so much closer and the soft press on his lips that had lasted a split second wasn’t enough to sustain him. He ran his fingers through the strands, relishing for a moment in what he’d thought of doing since he’d met Luke and then he pulled him in, hungrily crashing Luke’s lips into his own.
He felt it in his bones like an animal, the beginning of a building, burning, seeping, smoldering heat in the core of his gut, roaming through his every fiber until it oozed from his pores. He swiped his tongue past Luke’s bottom lip, still tasting of coffee, demanding the entrance that could lessen his thirst and Luke granted it, allowed it, moaning in Reid’s mouth at the intrusion, as his hands made their way to Reid’s jaw line, his ears, his soft, auburn curls.
The sensations overwhelmed Luke, as did the want, the heat and the sheer need that Reid conveyed, as the kiss became a battle for the upper hand, the dominance and control they both needed to swim instead of sink. Luke gently grabbed and tugged at Reid’s curls with his left hand and he let his right hand roam, feeling Reid’s shoulders, the well defined curves and outlines of his shoulder blades and the hard, wired muscles on his back underneath his fingertips, imprisoned by flimsy, dark blue fabric.
Reid lowered his hands, scraping his fingers slightly from the nape of Luke’s neck toward the curve of his spine, until Luke felt the hard press on the small of his back, bringing their bodies even closer together, closer and closer, closing the space between their bodies and filling the void that relieved the ache until Luke heard a faint, buzzing sound. The buzzing persisted, going on and on and on until it finally distracted him enough to break the kiss and let go, leaving Reid dazed and confused and gasping for air.
“Wha- What- What are you-”
“Pager.”
“Wha-” Reid finally managed to tear his eyes away from Luke’s swollen lips and looked down and checked his pager, sighing as he realized what it meant. “Of course, 911, I have to go.”
“Yeah, go, save lives.”
Reid nodded and walked toward the door, but as his fingers curled around the handle, he stopped in his tracks, sighing again before he turned around to face Luke. It felt like a crossroads, like the in between, limbo, as if they were caught between what they felt and knew and what they wanted to know.
“Luke…”
“We’ll talk later.” Luke said, smiling shyly, before Reid closed the door behind him.
********
He arrived at the E.R. soon after leaving Luke. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around what had just occurred between them, how Luke had kept pushing and pushing until Reid broke and gave in and kissed him with all he had. Nothing had ever felt that good, nothing had ever tasted as sweet as Luke Snyder and he’d never wanted anyone as much as Luke.
Now that he’d had a taste of it, gotten a preview like the trailer for the next big blockbuster, what he’d feared was happening. He felt even more as though his insides were screaming and howling and crying out for more, craving and yearning and longing and aching.
As he laid eyes on the patient on the gurney, he was snapped right out of his thoughts and crudely shoved into reality.
“Dr. Oliver, do you know the patient?” The nurse saw him standing there, motionless, just staring at the patient, as she saw Reid’s reaction to the man on the gurney.
“Yes… That’s Noah Mayer.”
NEXT
********
A/N: Oh, Noah, you cockblocker... So, that is the story of how Reid became Noah's doctor. According to a very wise man called Desmond Hume, the universe has a habit of course correcting, when things don't go the way they're supposed to. Yes, I'm sure you're all much more interested in that than in Luke and Reid's first kiss XD.
As always, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this story. =)