Fic: Down the Rabbit Hole (32/?)
Title: Down the Rabbit Hole
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU
Warnings: Implied rape, Implied incest (I'm not sure I need this one, but Zoe and Luke are technically related)
Rating: R to NC-17
Spoilers: None
Characters: Luke/Reid, Past Luke/Noah, Other Misc characters
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: What if Zoe succeeded in her plans to have Luke's baby?
Author's Notes: Flashbacks are in italics. This story picks up right after Luke has promised Reid that his foundation will donate money to the new wing.
Please try and keep the comments spoiler free. I am spoiler free, as are many others and I don't want them to be spoiled on accident! Thanks! :)
Previous Chapters: Prologue/ 1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 5/ 6/ 7/ 8/ 9/ 10/ 11/ 12/ 13/ 14/ 15/ 16/ 17/ 18/ 19/ 20/ 21/ 22/ 23/ 24/ 25/ 26/ 27/ 28/ 29/ 30/ 31
Rose was wailing again, because Noah was holding her a little too tightly. He noticed and immediately loosened his grip, but the damage was done. She was screaming now, the pacifier falling to the floor. Luke felt like he was moving underwater as he took Rose from Noah’s slackened grip and tried to calm her down. He stood up, facing away from Noah, bouncing Rose, his heart racing.
“Luke?” Noah said softly. Luke froze again at the sound of his voice. “Is she really yours?”
The door to Noah’s room opened and Luke thanked whatever deity above for the interruption.
“I can hear her screaming from down the hall, Mr. Snyder.” Reid snapped, stepping inside. Luke looked at him, and Reid’s face changed immediately. Luke knew he must look bad. “Why don’t you take her down to my office until she calms down.” He told Luke, his tone completely different. Luke nodded, moving to the door when Noah’s voice stopped him.
“Luke.” Noah said just his name. Luke stopped, his breathing becoming erratic. “Just tell me.” There was anguish in his voice, and Luke felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Rose was still crying, her little face turning red from the force.
“Let me take her.” Reid walked over to Luke, and put a hand on his shoulder. “You two seem like you’re…in the middle of something. I’ll call Katie to come and get her, okay?” Luke managed a nod, and he let Reid take Rose from his grasp, silently handing over her bag. Rose quieted after a second, her brown eyes staring up at Reid.
Luke felt close to hysteria as he forced down his urge to laugh at his daughter’s reaction to Reid.
“You know where I’ll be if you need me.” Reid murmured, and only the fact that Noah was watching kept Luke from throwing himself into Reid’s arms.
Then Reid was gone, and Luke was alone with Noah.
“I stopped her.” Noah spoke first, his voice full of disbelief. Luke knew he was combing his memories, thinking back to those horrible days in the storage locker.
“Noah…” Luke trailed off.
“No, I stopped her.” Noah protested, his voice cracking. “Luke, please tell me I stopped her.”
“Noah, I…” Luke felt the tears spilling down his cheeks as he turned around to face him.
“Talk to me, Luke.” Noah demanded. “Tell me what is going on.”
“I can’t…” Luke stuttered.
“Damn it, Luke!” Noah started to get up.
“Noah, don’t.” Luke moved quicker then, distracted for a second by the worry that Noah might hurt himself. Luke pushed him back against the bed gently.
“Answer me, then.” Noah had tears in his eyes now. “Is Rose really yours? Yours and Zoe’s?”
“What do you want me to say, Noah?” Luke asked, his voice low and broken.
“The truth, Luke.” He wiped a tear away. “After all this time, I think I deserve the truth.” That made Luke angry.
“You really want to know the truth, Noah?” Luke hissed. “The truth that Zoe raped me?!” He was shouting through his tears now. “That she forced herself on me, and I let her?!”
“Luke, what are you talking about?” Luke laughed, letting his hysteria take control.
“It was all for you.” He said, getting quiet. “You were unconscious, and dying, and she said…” Luke trailed off. “She said that she would give you medicine, if I…” Luke took a chance and met his gaze. Noah looked shocked, and sickened, and Luke couldn’t face anymore.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Noah demanded once he found his voice. “God, Luke.”
“I couldn’t.” Luke cried, unable to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. “You’d been shot, you were in the hospital.”
“You should have told me!” Now Noah was shouting. Luke flinched.
“I just wanted to forget it ever happened, Noah.” Luke said, his voice flat and emotionless. Noah’s expression shifted. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“How else am I supposed to react?” Noah snapped. “My boyfriend was raped and he hid it from me.”
“You’re mad at me?” Luke was shocked. “How is it my fault?”
“What happened wasn’t your fault, Luke.” Noah sighed. “Not telling me about it was. God, you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what Zoe really did to you. What does that say about our relationship?”
“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing we broke up.” Luke snapped.
“Luke, I…” Noah started to say. “You should have told me.” He finally said. “I had a right to know.” Luke gaped at him for a second.
“Maybe I should have.” He allowed. “But it happened to me, and I dealt with it the best way I could.”
“You didn’t deal with it at all.” Noah told him. “All last summer, you didn’t…didn’t want me to touch you.” He swallowed hard.
“That’s not true.” Luke whispered. Noah glared at him.
“I thought it was me.” He said, and Luke glanced at him again. “I thought it was because I was too busy with my movie, and dealing with my dad, and then Holden…” Noah trailed off. “But it wasn’t, was it?”
Luke couldn’t seem to form words. He didn’t know how to answer that. They fell silent, neither one of them looking at the other.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Luke whispered. “I didn’t know how.”
“You could have tried.” Noah insisted.
“You don’t know how many times I tried.” Luke told him. “I just couldn’t, Noah.” He sniffled. “We were so happy, and things were back to normal and…”
“Didn’t you want her to pay for what she did?”
“She already has, Noah. She’s dead.”
“Then, I mean.”
“I just wanted her gone.” Luke finally said. “I didn’t want it to come up at her trial or have to testify and tell everyone.” Noah clenched his jaw.
“So when I pulled her off you, it was too late.” Noah finally spoke. Luke nodded. “And you’re okay raising Rose know how she was conceived?” He continued.
“She’s mine, Noah.” Luke was firm. “I love her.” He let out a little laugh, his voice still thick from crying. “The moment I laid eyes on her I knew there was no way I could give her up.”
“You didn’t know about her before Zoe showed up here, did you?”
“No.” Noah stared hard at him, and Luke knew he was trying to see if he was lying. “I swear. I was as shocked as you to find out.”
“Who else knows?” Luke bit his lip. “Luke, who else knows?”
“Margo.” Luke answered after a pause. “Mom and Dad.” Another pause. “And Reid.”
“Dr. Oliver?” Noah repeated. “You’re on a first name basis now?”
“Would you rather us be fighting?” Luke snapped this time.
“Of course not.” Noah exclaimed. “I just can’t believe a guy you hate knew about this before I did.”
“Are you really blaming me for this?” Luke pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “I can’t do this anymore, Noah. I need to go check on Rose.”
With that, Luke turned around and walked out.
*
Reid was sitting in his office, finishing up some paperwork when a timid knock sounded on the door. Katie had just left with Rose, confused but willing to help him out. He got up and answered the door.
Luke was standing there, his eyes wide, his breathing irregular, and Reid wanted to hold him. The idea shook him to the core, because he didn’t feel that way about anyone, except maybe Katie. He just needed to. Reid reached out a hand and took Luke’s arm, pulling him inside and shutting the door. He let himself be led, and then Reid awkwardly put his arms around Luke. It only took a moment for Luke to relax against him, and then the tears came.
Author: slayerkitty
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU
Warnings: Implied rape, Implied incest (I'm not sure I need this one, but Zoe and Luke are technically related)
Rating: R to NC-17
Spoilers: None
Characters: Luke/Reid, Past Luke/Noah, Other Misc characters
Disclaimer: As the World Turns and it's characters are not mine, no matter how much I enjoy playing with them. :)
Summary: What if Zoe succeeded in her plans to have Luke's baby?
Author's Notes: Flashbacks are in italics. This story picks up right after Luke has promised Reid that his foundation will donate money to the new wing.
Please try and keep the comments spoiler free. I am spoiler free, as are many others and I don't want them to be spoiled on accident! Thanks! :)
Previous Chapters: Prologue/ 1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 5/ 6/ 7/ 8/ 9/ 10/ 11/ 12/ 13/ 14/ 15/ 16/ 17/ 18/ 19/ 20/ 21/ 22/ 23/ 24/ 25/ 26/ 27/ 28/ 29/ 30/ 31
Rose was wailing again, because Noah was holding her a little too tightly. He noticed and immediately loosened his grip, but the damage was done. She was screaming now, the pacifier falling to the floor. Luke felt like he was moving underwater as he took Rose from Noah’s slackened grip and tried to calm her down. He stood up, facing away from Noah, bouncing Rose, his heart racing.
“Luke?” Noah said softly. Luke froze again at the sound of his voice. “Is she really yours?”
The door to Noah’s room opened and Luke thanked whatever deity above for the interruption.
“I can hear her screaming from down the hall, Mr. Snyder.” Reid snapped, stepping inside. Luke looked at him, and Reid’s face changed immediately. Luke knew he must look bad. “Why don’t you take her down to my office until she calms down.” He told Luke, his tone completely different. Luke nodded, moving to the door when Noah’s voice stopped him.
“Luke.” Noah said just his name. Luke stopped, his breathing becoming erratic. “Just tell me.” There was anguish in his voice, and Luke felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Rose was still crying, her little face turning red from the force.
“Let me take her.” Reid walked over to Luke, and put a hand on his shoulder. “You two seem like you’re…in the middle of something. I’ll call Katie to come and get her, okay?” Luke managed a nod, and he let Reid take Rose from his grasp, silently handing over her bag. Rose quieted after a second, her brown eyes staring up at Reid.
Luke felt close to hysteria as he forced down his urge to laugh at his daughter’s reaction to Reid.
“You know where I’ll be if you need me.” Reid murmured, and only the fact that Noah was watching kept Luke from throwing himself into Reid’s arms.
Then Reid was gone, and Luke was alone with Noah.
“I stopped her.” Noah spoke first, his voice full of disbelief. Luke knew he was combing his memories, thinking back to those horrible days in the storage locker.
“Noah…” Luke trailed off.
“No, I stopped her.” Noah protested, his voice cracking. “Luke, please tell me I stopped her.”
“Noah, I…” Luke felt the tears spilling down his cheeks as he turned around to face him.
“Talk to me, Luke.” Noah demanded. “Tell me what is going on.”
“I can’t…” Luke stuttered.
“Damn it, Luke!” Noah started to get up.
“Noah, don’t.” Luke moved quicker then, distracted for a second by the worry that Noah might hurt himself. Luke pushed him back against the bed gently.
“Answer me, then.” Noah had tears in his eyes now. “Is Rose really yours? Yours and Zoe’s?”
“What do you want me to say, Noah?” Luke asked, his voice low and broken.
“The truth, Luke.” He wiped a tear away. “After all this time, I think I deserve the truth.” That made Luke angry.
“You really want to know the truth, Noah?” Luke hissed. “The truth that Zoe raped me?!” He was shouting through his tears now. “That she forced herself on me, and I let her?!”
“Luke, what are you talking about?” Luke laughed, letting his hysteria take control.
“It was all for you.” He said, getting quiet. “You were unconscious, and dying, and she said…” Luke trailed off. “She said that she would give you medicine, if I…” Luke took a chance and met his gaze. Noah looked shocked, and sickened, and Luke couldn’t face anymore.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Noah demanded once he found his voice. “God, Luke.”
“I couldn’t.” Luke cried, unable to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. “You’d been shot, you were in the hospital.”
“You should have told me!” Now Noah was shouting. Luke flinched.
“I just wanted to forget it ever happened, Noah.” Luke said, his voice flat and emotionless. Noah’s expression shifted. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“How else am I supposed to react?” Noah snapped. “My boyfriend was raped and he hid it from me.”
“You’re mad at me?” Luke was shocked. “How is it my fault?”
“What happened wasn’t your fault, Luke.” Noah sighed. “Not telling me about it was. God, you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what Zoe really did to you. What does that say about our relationship?”
“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing we broke up.” Luke snapped.
“Luke, I…” Noah started to say. “You should have told me.” He finally said. “I had a right to know.” Luke gaped at him for a second.
“Maybe I should have.” He allowed. “But it happened to me, and I dealt with it the best way I could.”
“You didn’t deal with it at all.” Noah told him. “All last summer, you didn’t…didn’t want me to touch you.” He swallowed hard.
“That’s not true.” Luke whispered. Noah glared at him.
“I thought it was me.” He said, and Luke glanced at him again. “I thought it was because I was too busy with my movie, and dealing with my dad, and then Holden…” Noah trailed off. “But it wasn’t, was it?”
Luke couldn’t seem to form words. He didn’t know how to answer that. They fell silent, neither one of them looking at the other.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Luke whispered. “I didn’t know how.”
“You could have tried.” Noah insisted.
“You don’t know how many times I tried.” Luke told him. “I just couldn’t, Noah.” He sniffled. “We were so happy, and things were back to normal and…”
“Didn’t you want her to pay for what she did?”
“She already has, Noah. She’s dead.”
“Then, I mean.”
“I just wanted her gone.” Luke finally said. “I didn’t want it to come up at her trial or have to testify and tell everyone.” Noah clenched his jaw.
“So when I pulled her off you, it was too late.” Noah finally spoke. Luke nodded. “And you’re okay raising Rose know how she was conceived?” He continued.
“She’s mine, Noah.” Luke was firm. “I love her.” He let out a little laugh, his voice still thick from crying. “The moment I laid eyes on her I knew there was no way I could give her up.”
“You didn’t know about her before Zoe showed up here, did you?”
“No.” Noah stared hard at him, and Luke knew he was trying to see if he was lying. “I swear. I was as shocked as you to find out.”
“Who else knows?” Luke bit his lip. “Luke, who else knows?”
“Margo.” Luke answered after a pause. “Mom and Dad.” Another pause. “And Reid.”
“Dr. Oliver?” Noah repeated. “You’re on a first name basis now?”
“Would you rather us be fighting?” Luke snapped this time.
“Of course not.” Noah exclaimed. “I just can’t believe a guy you hate knew about this before I did.”
“Are you really blaming me for this?” Luke pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger. “I can’t do this anymore, Noah. I need to go check on Rose.”
With that, Luke turned around and walked out.
*
Reid was sitting in his office, finishing up some paperwork when a timid knock sounded on the door. Katie had just left with Rose, confused but willing to help him out. He got up and answered the door.
Luke was standing there, his eyes wide, his breathing irregular, and Reid wanted to hold him. The idea shook him to the core, because he didn’t feel that way about anyone, except maybe Katie. He just needed to. Reid reached out a hand and took Luke’s arm, pulling him inside and shutting the door. He let himself be led, and then Reid awkwardly put his arms around Luke. It only took a moment for Luke to relax against him, and then the tears came.