The Dork Legacy 7.0
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
[ 1.0 | 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 ]
[ 2.0 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6 | 2.7 ]
[ 3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 ]
[ 4.0 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 4.7 ]
[ 5.0 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4 | 5.5 | 5.6 | 5.7 ]
[ 6.0 | 6.1 | 6.2 | 6.3 (Guest Update) | 6.4 | 6.5 | 6.6 | 6.7 | 6.8 ]
So here are the Dorks in their lovely new mansion. Again.
Q: I don't see what all of the fuss is about. It doesn't look any bigger than the Mauritania.
April finally gets her makeover. She's tickled.
Gizka isn't as pleased.
Of course, this is the first place these two go. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.
How very generous of you, Lister. And slightly...pimp-like.
April: This sidewalk is fascinating! Have you seen this sidewalk?
Yeah, sure, just ignore the fully landscaped garden of beauty and joy behind you.
Anyway, it was time to get down to business.
GlaDos: Why do I feel cold, kitty?
Well, aside from the house, it looks like the move hasn't changed a thing.
Ah, there she is. Just as I remembered her.
She moved in! Hah, kidding. They just had such a great time together for like 30 seconds that a greeting in hug form was warranted.
My favourite thing about Mansion and Garden Stuff: BEES. I'M COVERED IN BEES.
BZZZZZ.
This guy was cute. Also, ONLY people with this face template walk past the new house. I dunno.
April is definitely into this girl.
See? The chemistry, it is overwhelming.
YOU GUYS HAVE TWO BOLTS. ACT LIKE IT.
Thank you.
Oh. Well, that's cool. I guess.
Uh buh duh wha? Really, guys?
Suddenly I'm a little worried for their childrens' looks.
Well, that didn't take long. They've been moved in for a little over a sim hour.
After some mutual pink hearts, these guys FORCE me to be like EVERY OTHER LEGACY AUTHOR and present you with shy flirting spam.
But ugh, god, it's just so adorable. D:
Gizka: Man, mom, have I got some college experimentation stories for you!
Sarina: Oooh, you did experiments! That's so fitting! Cuz, you're an alien! :O
GUYS, THERE IS NO PICTURE ON THE BACK OF THE SPEECH BUBBLE.
Gizka: Haha, yeah, well, some of them involved Kian, you know.
Sarina: OMG, but he's your brother, is he okay? *sounds disapproving* Gizka. Did you kill him?
Gizka: ...
Sarina: I can't help but notice that he DIDN'T COME HOME when you guys did! :[
No Kians were killed in horrible and possibly sexual experiments during the making of this caption.
OMG YOU GUYS THERE'S NO GREEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ASPIRATION POINTS. My mind is blown.
Boo: Stay very still. Wait until she turns to put it in the oven, then STRIKE. DELICIOUS TROUT WILL BE MINE.
GlaDos: I don't think you should do that, small furry life form. I may forget that my programming has gone soft, if you do.
Alana and April: <3 :D
Gizka: Hey, what are you guys doing? Hey, you, new girl, can I talk to you for a second?
Gizka: LOOK BITCH, I don't know WHO you THINK YOU ARE, but -
Alana: I'm Alana! April's girlfriend! You must be Gizka!
Gizka: AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
April: This is going to be a fun generation.
Alana: MM, MMM, I'd like to scramble her eggs, if you know what I mean!
Gizka: Oh, hey, you have something on your shirt. Right here. *flicks nose*
Alana: OW, geez, what are you, TWELVE?
Gizka: Hee hee.
Gizka: HAHA YOUR FACE, I ENJOY LAUGHING IN IT.
Gizka: Hah. heh. heehee. Yeah. Good times.
Alana: *fumes*
It was time for Alana's makeover. Man, is it ever hard to find good hair for her.
Alana: OH TEE HEE INDEED. *teeth dislocate*
This is her makeover. I don't like it, and end up changing it later.
Uh, GlaDos, I don't think anyone needs any grilled cheese right now.
Dieter: I NEED GRILLED CHEESE.
Me: Dog, I am slightly weirded out that you know what she's making by looking at the UNDERSIDE of the INGREDIENT TRAY.
Everyone: Where the hell does she think she's going?
Dieter: Grilled cheese...
Anyway, back to the point. Gizka invites Trenton over.
And Clive, too. What, Clive, three people in a relationship not good enough for ya?
These two still like each other.
Trenton: I've missed you, Gizka! College was so lonely without you!
Gizka: I've been gone for like two hours, dude.
Hay thur Clive. So who's this friend you just HAD to bring over?
...Oh, most excellent. Hay Sunday.
Unfortunately for her two boyfriends, Hate > Love to Gizka.
Sunday, as usually, stands the hell up for herself.
A man, surrounded by flowers, swooning over another man = gayest picture ever?
Trenton: Man, Clive, you ever wonder what we're getting ourselves into?
Clive: Of course. Why on earth do you think I brought Sunday over anyway?
HOLY SHIT DUDE. That's a lot of scholarships! :O
Clive, you have been outdone. By a STARVING ARTIST. Shame!
But, back to the important issues.
Sigh. Gizka, I am trying to introduce two new Dorks to our readers. Can you wait for one second?
And who is this handsome guy? Look twice, guess again, it's Trenton! Doesn't he clean up marvellously?!
PRRR freaking ROWR.
WELL SCREW YOU TOO, OLD LADY.
And this is Clive! His shoes are no longer girly, I'm afraid. However, I did my best to give him an appropriately metrosexual look.
Okay, guys, wtf is this animation? It looks like he's trying to to a Neo-from-the-Matrix takeoff. And everyone does it all the time!
Clive: Nice makeover. I think Gizka will like it.
Gizka: Well, that was fun. Would you like some tea? Oh, and by the way, my wedding's in a few days. You should come.
Sunday: Meh. Maybe I will.
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. WHOA.
WHOA.
Hold on a second, guys, we're like 10 minutes into Gen 7, we can wait a bit for Gen 8! That's Clive in there, btw, and yes, they did indeed conceive. That's gonna be one freakin' classy child, amirite?
Gee, GlaDos, what happened to hugs and sunshine and rainbows?
GlaDos: I sense that the new arrivals do not appreciate my Servotude.
I'm getting that, too. WTF, Alana, how quickly you go from lucky-to-be-noticed-by-a-millionaire-sim to oh-you're-a- plumber-what-on-earth-is-that.
These two are still pretty darn cute, though.
Trenton: I play winner.
Trenton's ~sensitive artist~ side is showing through strong and clear. So is my HUD. Sorry.
Gizka: Goddamn, I am like the luckiest girl ever.
The deceased Dorks LOVE the new house. They flit around constantly all night, every night. Only occasionally scare people, though, which is disappointing in a house FULL of knowledge sims.
Trenton: The night time is beautiful. I must paint it, in all its sadness and promise.
What exactly are you tinkering with, back there?!
You guys haven't seen one of these in a while, I'll bet.
You two fell into a routine pretty quickly, huh?
Clive wins some points by being the first autonomous tea-drinker!
Clive: ITADAKIMASU-YO! *ridiculous anime pose*
Clive: Tako ga itai n desu! :)
Trenton's art is very important to him.
Lister: I gotta pee.
Sarina: I'll fight you for it.
Wow, is this seriously the first lesbian sex of the legacy?
Damn guys. Just damn.
Real masculine, there, Trenton.
Still adorable.
Engagement spam:
Oh, wow, owned. YOU GOT HER PREGNANT, YOU BITCH. YOU BETTER ACCEPT HER PROPOSAL.
April: You're a bitch, but your skin is so soft!
Classy, Alana. Classy.
This is basically all these two ever do anymore. It's adorable.
Uh, Clive. No one has even USED that tub. I don't think it's dirty.
I begin winning at chance cards pretty freaking hard at this point.
Clive: In my opinion, kissing is just like grilled cheese. Smooth, warm -
GlaDos: And then you sink your teeth into their lips and consume the flesh, which is crunchy on the outside?
OMG, GlaDos, are you writing in a DIARY?!
GlaDos: It is...a medical journal.
It's a diary.
GlaDos: Oh, look, I've just found your page! Do you know what it says about you?
Let me guess. I'm adopted.
GlaDos: Yes! And it also implies that your biological mother was a lady of negotiable virtue. Who was also a pedophile. This little boy is your father.
GlaDos: And this is your mother.
GlaDos: And - how funny - this is your much prettier and more talented biological sister, who was adopted by a rich and affluent family! How sad for you! HAHAHA!
GlaDos: I am so funny. I should have my own television show.
GlaDos: Also, I am afraid I hugged that stuffed bear again today. I'm not sure what's wrong with me.
April: I'M INTERRUPTING UR SECRET THOUGHTS.
Holy crap, dude.
GlaDos: No! I am angry! Furious! I DON'T WANT TO HUG THE BEAR AGAIN.
WHOA whoa whoa, WHAT?
Sarina: Uh, hey, what are you...? Don't you have some cleaning to do?
GlaDos: :(
More winning.
OKAY, WHAT.
Bow chicka bow wow?
I'll end this entry with this wtfery, and a picture of Trenton being ALL ADORABLE in his wetsuit.
Next time! Pregnancies! Marriages! Glitches! Tune in!