Hmm. I don't why I stay when I clearly am unhappy. Why do I even try? I just keep trying and giving things a second chance, another second chance and just end up in my own little misery over and over again. Fuck society and the people who create them. Fuck those who make people feel less than what they're worth. For making people feel like they don ( Read more... )

My mother loves rubbing things in my face ( Read more... )

Hmm, so much in my head again ( Read more... )

I used to think that me getting a job would make it easier in terms of financial stuff but right now I kind of feel like I'm being much more of a burden than actually being able to help out. I'm really out of cash I don't even have money to go to work or eat so I have to ask my Mom for money to spend for the day, asking money from her lets her ( Read more... )

I told myself I'd lay off of this because it's always just filled of negatives thoughts and sad things and it's not really fun to read when I look back.....but I can't seem to draw myself away from this. It's an outlet and outlet's are good or else my head fills up and things get messy ( Read more... )

On an overdue note, I haven't talked about me being a graduate, perhaps there were still doubts or rather, there was a certain fear that I might have missed something along the way and that would lead me with unfinished requirements and not have m graduate this October. BUT! I am graduating this October 29th, 2011. I checked the list on the college ( Read more... )

 There's a million things running through my mind at the moment. Honestly most of them are negative though I'd rather not ponder on how negative things are. All the negativity isn't even worth it to think about, so I sit here gathering my thoughts and trying to get myself to stop trembling. No doubt that this has been a big blow, mercilessly ( Read more... )

I just slept all day today. Probably running away from myself or my own thoughts. I know all this torture is my own doing. That it's all in my own head. Emotionally dragging yourself down, hurting yourself...in other words emotional suicide ( Read more... )

You can't expect
You shouldn't expect
You'll get hurt.

You already are hurting.
I swear I've been in this limbo for too long.
It's torture...

Maybe I'm torturing myself.

 Is it bad that I've gotten used to this? Or how things are? That it's okay if I don't catch you online or if I don't get the chance to talk to you? Sure I get lonely once in a while but its not much of a big deal? I think about you yes, but I'm not as attached as I used to? Days lately has just been all about playing. I don't really talk to anyone ( Read more... )