So guess what, I actually passed the revalidation and got in as a probationary employee! After the revlidation  I actually felt really light and more happy. I thought back on why things were so rough back then and I could hardly piece together anything. How small things turned into something so major for me. I suppose I was stressed out by the ( Read more... )

So here I am today. Probably because this is the best way to "talk" to "someone". This journal at least is a constant thing who doesn't really care what I write here but takes it all in ( Read more... )

I used to think that me getting a job would make it easier in terms of financial stuff but right now I kind of feel like I'm being much more of a burden than actually being able to help out. I'm really out of cash I don't even have money to go to work or eat so I have to ask my Mom for money to spend for the day, asking money from her lets her ( Read more... )

It's been 6 months and I still don't have a job. It does kind of feel like I'm wasting my life away and all so yeah I guess it's time to stop holding on or having that pride of not taking jobs outside the career path you want or you studied in college. So I've sent a resume to being a proofreader or editor of some sort. Not that I'm very good at it ( Read more... )

I told myself I'd lay off of this because it's always just filled of negatives thoughts and sad things and it's not really fun to read when I look back.....but I can't seem to draw myself away from this. It's an outlet and outlet's are good or else my head fills up and things get messy ( Read more... )

I seriously have to get my shit together ( Read more... )

I just slept all day today. Probably running away from myself or my own thoughts. I know all this torture is my own doing. That it's all in my own head. Emotionally dragging yourself down, hurting yourself...in other words emotional suicide ( Read more... )

 Is it bad that I've gotten used to this? Or how things are? That it's okay if I don't catch you online or if I don't get the chance to talk to you? Sure I get lonely once in a while but its not much of a big deal? I think about you yes, but I'm not as attached as I used to? Days lately has just been all about playing. I don't really talk to anyone ( Read more... )

it's funny. Being left alone the whole day with hardly any conversation going on. I got my nap and somewhat got myself thinking about what I said to Paula just a while ago and when I was reading back on logs before I got into this relationship with her. Before you don't demand anything well you can't. So things are always okay, things are always ( Read more... )

 I may have planned a couple of personal activities for my...ever so short summer. School starts in what 2 -3 weeks? Heh, isn't that amusing. I'm not supposed to be in school anymore! But, well as people say, shit happens. I think I haven't fully recovered from failing pretty bad. I still get those self-pity moments where seeing how everyone else ( Read more... )