Why do they have to fight when we're all here. It's so fucking awkward. Conflict. Conflict. Conflict. I don't really enjoy family gatherings entirely. I try. But a lot of things rise up and they start going back and forth, blaming one another. I hate it. I absorb too much. Absorbing emotions is something I cannot stop. Meh. I hope they tone down.

Wow. It's been a while hasn't it? I know I closed this down because I wanted to forget, I wanted to move on, and now that i have, well, there's not point in keeping this closed. This probably is the longest running blog that I have that was updated regularly back then. I remeber writing here to get the attention of someone that used to be special ( Read more... )

My mother loves rubbing things in my face ( Read more... )

Hmm, so much in my head again ( Read more... )

I used to think that me getting a job would make it easier in terms of financial stuff but right now I kind of feel like I'm being much more of a burden than actually being able to help out. I'm really out of cash I don't even have money to go to work or eat so I have to ask my Mom for money to spend for the day, asking money from her lets her ( Read more... )

It's time to dump my thoughts here again. There's been quite a lot running through my mind for the past days and there's really no way to unload all of them so I must turn back to this and let them run free and move on with my life. Hmm, though I don't think there's much to say anymore...maybe if I wrote about it right away there was a lot to say. ( Read more... )

It's been 6 months and I still don't have a job. It does kind of feel like I'm wasting my life away and all so yeah I guess it's time to stop holding on or having that pride of not taking jobs outside the career path you want or you studied in college. So I've sent a resume to being a proofreader or editor of some sort. Not that I'm very good at it ( Read more... )

I told myself I'd lay off of this because it's always just filled of negatives thoughts and sad things and it's not really fun to read when I look back.....but I can't seem to draw myself away from this. It's an outlet and outlet's are good or else my head fills up and things get messy ( Read more... )

   You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
-- Mark Twain   
I find truth in that because that's what I'm going through. My self centered-ness  and delusional head makes me see things that aren't really there anymore. When I start thinking that hey it's about me, it's because of me, when it's not. Maybe because I'm that ( Read more... )

Yesterday was Valentines and I spent it with a guy who was just as bitter or well, was sulking over the whole thing. It was a bit weird, but walking around the mall surrounded by couples, either holding hands, holding flowers or wearing couple shirts just made the both of us long for something we both didn't have. It was a good day though. Pretty ( Read more... )