I think it's time in my life that I begin to obsess over health. If I don't, both Aaron and i will be in trouble. He has a sweet tooth and a penchant for prescription drugs, and I like my booze and adderall. But it's more than that. We at a lot of crap - healthier than most Americans do, but that's not saying much. Aaron has already experienced a ( Read more... )

I realized I seldom write when things are good. I guess it's because negative feelings have always seemed heavier and in need of an outlet ( Read more... )

I slept through the night for the first time in months. I've been meditating and doing yoga, both of which have seemed to really help me get a grip on myself ( Read more... )

Spring is here, and it feels wonderful ( Read more... )

From 1:27 this afternoon: I just had a panic attack. I came all the way up to work to sit in my office and cry. I called my father and told him John and I abused adderall for about a year and a half. He told me I'm okay, that I haven't ruined myself forever, that I'm not going to die. He said he loves me and that I'll always be his Mushi. He told ( Read more... )

I'm really upset with myself over how I acted last night. I don't know what comes over me when I'm around Jorge, but I don't like who I am around him. It's a little bit his fault, but I control myself and am responsible for my actions ( Read more... )

This may be the clearest my skin has ever been. I feel like not writing that will jinx it because it'll mean I'm not secure in it enough to believe it's permanent. I've cut out dairy (except for butter), bad oils, sugar, and grains. I drink my apple cider vinegar every day and use it as a toner, and I use herbs a couple of times a week. At this ( Read more... )

Well, Jorge was fired today. They had him come all the way in just to fire him an hour later. I've had my issues with Jorge, but I think he was a good person, and he really cared about the company and everyone there. That's five people who have been fired since I started a year ago. I feel like I'm on Survivor. It's a scary feeling. I'm sure I'll ( Read more... )

I finally got my period. Thank God ( Read more... )

So I'm laying off of the alcohol this week. I've been trying to be healthier as well as to lose weight and get into shape. It's been harder since going off of adderall so long ago-I've noticed a bit of a weight gain. But then, I wonder, was it the adderall? Since I moved to New York, I've been drinking like a fish. Everyone wants to drink out here ( Read more... )