Sailing into the Orangey Crepe Sky
So I'm laying off of the alcohol this week. I've been trying to be healthier as well as to lose weight and get into shape. It's been harder since going off of adderall so long ago-I've noticed a bit of a weight gain. But then, I wonder, was it the adderall? Since I moved to New York, I've been drinking like a fish. Everyone wants to drink out here. I typically always want to drink, too. I won't go moralistic on it at all: I'm fine with drinking that much for fun in a place where most bonding happens over shared drinks. But now alcohol is counter-productive to my aims, and I need to cut back. Since I'm an all-or-nothing person, I need to stay off the juice for a week. I figure I'll have some drinks with friends in Colorado, then I'll come back and take it easy again.
It's amazing how balanced I'm quickly becoming, though it does feel gradual. I find myself continually tidying up my room, organizing and sweeping. I've been going to sleep at decent hours and waking up early every morning to work out. I've been cutting out the people who make me feel badly about myself. I've started just trying to make myself and other people happy. I've been writing like a motherfucker and reading a good deal. I'm always around to help anyone who needs help. I've been good to my skin and I've been eating healthfully.
I'm afraid to say it, but why not? I'm not necessarily happy, but I'm content. It's a more steady kind of happy calm. I want things-a lot of things-but I've found stability. Thinks are rolling off my back easier than they used to, and I'm taking so much more with a level head. I think I'm making better decisions. I feel more in control of myself. I'm actually not afraid of this feeling to go away, either. I think I know how to get back here if something rocks me (which it will, because that's life).
Back to getting ready for work.
It's amazing how balanced I'm quickly becoming, though it does feel gradual. I find myself continually tidying up my room, organizing and sweeping. I've been going to sleep at decent hours and waking up early every morning to work out. I've been cutting out the people who make me feel badly about myself. I've started just trying to make myself and other people happy. I've been writing like a motherfucker and reading a good deal. I'm always around to help anyone who needs help. I've been good to my skin and I've been eating healthfully.
I'm afraid to say it, but why not? I'm not necessarily happy, but I'm content. It's a more steady kind of happy calm. I want things-a lot of things-but I've found stability. Thinks are rolling off my back easier than they used to, and I'm taking so much more with a level head. I think I'm making better decisions. I feel more in control of myself. I'm actually not afraid of this feeling to go away, either. I think I know how to get back here if something rocks me (which it will, because that's life).
Back to getting ready for work.