Things are hitting me harder today. My breakup is hitting me harder today - I think it's just having seen Doron as moving on with his life and feeling the intensity of how cold he was after so much. And then in missing John and having that experience the other night where I ate some THC gummy worms and did an in-depth mental walkthrough of the ( Read more... )

Ugh. I'm so depressed today. It's likely a combination of paying $7.5k this week (6k in taxes and 1.5k in rent plus deposit), having my future landlady be incredibly rude for no reason (shocking not just me but also the guy whose room I'm moving into), working 50+ hours a week in a highly stressful position (plus other clients), staying at my ( Read more... )

Last night was not good. I hung out with Henry and ended up telling him - because I thought he would be receptive - about Michael Rosenzweig. First, he said that flirting could definitely mean I wanted sex. I told him I said no and that Michael forced himself on me. he said it wasn't rape. I honestly argued with him about this. I said, how would ( Read more... )

Thank you, Facebook. I now understand what gaslighting means and that I've been in two incredibly abusive relationships now. Funny how I need a term to verify for me that something was abusive that I knew was abusive ( Read more... )

I woke up so sad this morning. So sad. I dreamt of John and Doron last night. When I woke up, my lip was a little bloody - I'd bitten it in the middle of the night, and now it's stained ( Read more... )

We made it about a year and a month. And now it's over. It ended horribly. I keep thinking about what I could've done differently, as I sit here, nauseous, on my parents' couch. I keep wondering if I should've just made him feel good about everything, not pushed him, not cared as much when he lied, understood that he was doing it because he didn't ( Read more... )

I love Brooklyn. I miss it. I miss life here. I'll miss Anetta and working in her amazing apartment with the spa-electronica music ( Read more... )

I'm going to try and break up with Doron tonight. So heartbreaking. He's just not an adult and doesn't know how to be one and doesn't seem to be trying to become one. It sucks so, so much ( Read more... )

It's funny because I think I write every time I start to get hormonal. This time of the month, I start crying at everything. I cried listening to NPR this morning, when Doron told me he loved me last night, when I watched a short animation on love yesterday, and when I watched a youtube video on a Canadian woman who had much the same history of ( Read more... )

It's about that time of year, where I go vegan, just in time to drive my mother nuts, as she plans for Thanksgiving. I feel the itch, though, as I'm sick of being such an animal-rights advocate and still supporting factory farming on a regular basis - just to be sociable. I'm considering doing a 6-day vegan/no-sugar diet during the week and still ( Read more... )