Breaking Up with Doron
I'm going to try and break up with Doron tonight. So heartbreaking. He's just not an adult and doesn't know how to be one and doesn't seem to be trying to become one. It sucks so, so much.
That said, my friends are amazing. All the friends I've told - here and in New York - have invited me into their homes, to stay for any period of time, on their couches. They've all told me they'll be here for me, and have all asked me if I need to talk, and have told me not to disappear, that they have their phones on them and are keeping their phones on loud during the night, in case I call.
I feel so loved and so miserable.
And I have about three hours until I need to tell Doron. I feel sick about it. He's a wonderful person. Just not at the same stage as I am in life. I love him, but I am finding that I respect him less and less as a partner, as he's incapable of reciprocating the support I give him, and he's not driven and doesn't know how to stand on his own two feet.
I care so much about so many things, and he just doesn't seem to are about much at all. He doesn't seem to have a thirst for adventure or the drive for self-betterment. As Adrian said, I'm dragging him into adulthood, and he's not ready, and that's not fair to either of us.
So now I need to figure out where to live and how to move on with my life. Do I go back in with roommates or try and get my own place? I have to afford it. I have to make sure I'm not pregnant and that he didn't give me Herpes or something - even though his blood tests said he doesn't have it anymore. I have to make sure this is not the end of my life. I am so, so sad. And I haven't even talked with him yet.
That said, my friends are amazing. All the friends I've told - here and in New York - have invited me into their homes, to stay for any period of time, on their couches. They've all told me they'll be here for me, and have all asked me if I need to talk, and have told me not to disappear, that they have their phones on them and are keeping their phones on loud during the night, in case I call.
I feel so loved and so miserable.
And I have about three hours until I need to tell Doron. I feel sick about it. He's a wonderful person. Just not at the same stage as I am in life. I love him, but I am finding that I respect him less and less as a partner, as he's incapable of reciprocating the support I give him, and he's not driven and doesn't know how to stand on his own two feet.
I care so much about so many things, and he just doesn't seem to are about much at all. He doesn't seem to have a thirst for adventure or the drive for self-betterment. As Adrian said, I'm dragging him into adulthood, and he's not ready, and that's not fair to either of us.
So now I need to figure out where to live and how to move on with my life. Do I go back in with roommates or try and get my own place? I have to afford it. I have to make sure I'm not pregnant and that he didn't give me Herpes or something - even though his blood tests said he doesn't have it anymore. I have to make sure this is not the end of my life. I am so, so sad. And I haven't even talked with him yet.