My list of activities and obligations is increasing. This is what I wanted; however, there must be caution and preparation in case this is a blip. Of course, more optimistically, this could be a longterm situation. As my quality of life improves, there is more opportunity and possibility of being a productive member of society and contributing to ( Read more... )

Last night was Alicia's last night in Modesto until the Holiday season. It was sad to say bye, but there is the satisfaction in knowing she is back in the country, same time zone, and ready to move on to the next phase in her life. Though she extended her 24 month Peace Corps adventure for a third year, she ultimately terminated early in order to ( Read more... )

My mind can rarely form coherent thoughts. From time to time, when I go about updating this journal, I try to look at the most recent entries for some sort of thematic continuity. As I read through, I saw some titles that made me wonder --I was thinking of Oasis? I had listened to the Beatles recently? Even with the recent Talking Heads obsession, ( Read more... )

There's quite a bit of beauty in the world around us. Today is rather warm, over 100 degrees, and part of a trend of actual warm weather. Despite July 2012 being one of the hottest months on record, Modesto has seen rather calm temperatures; the Central Valley of California is known for being warm, but we haven't truly had a hot summer since 2006. ( Read more... )

Careful reflection indicates there are various reasons why I shouldn't update livejournal, or have one anymore. Since the beginning, this began as a vanity project. Most of my life I have felt ignored, and my response to counteract that has been to shout. And shout loudly. As I said before, from 2001-2011 I sort of used Dark Side of the Moon as my ( Read more... )

It is not a new story, but it has taken on more complex and urgent qualities. In the wake of the financial crisis and the continued erosion of American power, it seems more and more common to discuss why and how those happened and too often the conversation ends in cynical despair and defeatism. I am certainly guilty of that ( Read more... )

I believe it was Sunday, I was filled with such ire, such blind rage, I decided I was going to write an entry about the 5 courses in all my formal education, from kindergarten to the present, that I disliked and made my blood boil then and now ( Read more... )

1. I am experiencing a need to shift the paradigm. One Beat, The Woods, Wild Flag, are becoming relics of the past....I need to march forward, but I am not sure how ( Read more... )

These are fragments lifted from a conversation that is technically still in progress:

Gail: ok
how was your weekend?
me: I'm not sure. There was a lot of frustration, not much accomplished, and just relaxing...I guess it was good. I'm not sure. I'm not out of the woods yet. I'll be trying to capture some of this on lj in a bit.
Gail: ok ( Read more... )

I am often too caught up in stupid abstractions, rather than concrete details; however, when I focus on details, I lose sight of why I am doing what I am doing. In that sense, I am caught up in a push-pull factor, a constant balancing act. It leads to, I believe, a regular synthesis; creation, which then bifurcates and thus destroys it self. But ( Read more... )