Today is a better day. Yesterday was good, too. Today has been filled with racing thoughts, that if not accompanied by last week's reckless negativity or the week prior's depression I would readily (and perhaps happily) dismiss as ADD. The process of self-awareness is a bit odd; in these moments of optimism it feels endless ( Read more... )

I'm just so overwhelmingly sad right now. My home fellowship is falling apart; we are less than 2 months away from pulling the plug completely. It's the economy, stupid ( Read more... )

My body is adjusting to the new factor of exercise. It has led to some up and down moments, such as right now, when I need to get to the track, rather than wallowing in carbs ( Read more... )

Did I mention my recent adventure with a married woman ( Read more... )

Today is 9.1.2. To elaborate: it is the 9th cycle (4 week increments!) of the year 2012. The 1 stands for week 1, and well, the 2 is because I am still adhering to American calendars and honouring Monday as day 2 of the week. I believe it was in 2007 that I first concocted the notion of chunking up the 52 week year into 4 week increments, which ( Read more... )

When I think back on the darkness of December, I sort of laugh. When I think back on the tiredness of January, the brief February (the month is always too brief), the calm of March, I'm sort of stuck wondering where April went ( Read more... )

It appears that no matter what I think, no matter how hard I try to articulate it and go back and edit, I am ultimately tongue-tied. It is some sort of cruelty; to allegedly be skilled in regards to language, but have no ultimate idea how to phrase and deliver the message. My thoughts pertaining to the subject matter vary, but at this time I wonder ( Read more... )

It makes sense: people do not want to hear about the perceived value of their lives. As the special education professor said, students need "put-ups" not put-downs. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead some to believe that even constructive criticism is "too negative." Ultimately, it is an issue about balance. I am particularly unbalanced ( Read more... )

Too often do I open to this page with thoughts in mind, become distracted by other tabs, and end up forgetting about this site. It is mistake that ought to be remedied. On that note, I recently read that depressed people (such as myself, clearly) over use first person pronouns. Hence any reader of this journal be it the casual bop-in or a genuine ( Read more... )

There is a bridge adored and famed
The golden spine of engineering
whose back is heavy with my weightAround Thanksgiving I began a process of shifting and shuffling that has more or less come to an end, at least for now. As I've said on twitter (I really do repeat myself too often), the organization that was done was grouping like materials ( Read more... )