If you're gonna be a restless soul,
then you're gonna be so so tired
If you're gonna keep me up at night,
then you'd better learn to love this fire
If you're gonna give up on the fight,
then I'm gonna call you a liarIn less than 3 minutes, Carrie Brownstein succinctly sums up where my life has been. In fact, I can't help but continue this obsession ( Read more... )

It is not a new story, but it has taken on more complex and urgent qualities. In the wake of the financial crisis and the continued erosion of American power, it seems more and more common to discuss why and how those happened and too often the conversation ends in cynical despair and defeatism. I am certainly guilty of that ( Read more... )

Today is Wednesday, and sure enough, I do feel a sort of tiredness creeping in. I shouldn't complain, I suppose. Things have gone swimmingly well so far, actually. I'm on target for the personal/hygiene goals I've set for the week. The only "glaring" one is that I do need to brush my teeth more, especially since I have a dental appointment soon ( Read more... )

There was a time when I only updated in the morning, and a time when I only updated in the middle of the night. I guess right now, I'm at that level of compromise, with the bulk of entries coming in the afternoon. That being said, I just felt like coming here, to espouse more of whatever it is I espouse. (shrug ( Read more... )

I just got home from my first ever "birthday meeting." That was an exciting event, really. I'm proud of myself, today, for the following: I got up; I didn't take a nap; I called my sponsor; I showered, shaved, and brushed my teeth; and I got out of the house. You know, all things that "normies" do with ease. Well, I'm not a fucking normie, damnit. ( Read more... )

I've only been up for about 2 hours. If I were truly holding truly rigid to my New Years Resolutions, I'd be in big trouble. Instead, I'm just trying to capture the moment and not chastise myself for my poor-sleeping patterns. I still have to accept responsibility, however, and work on ameliorating them. There was a time where I wasn't sleeping ( Read more... )

It has occurred to me that my compulsive note-taking the past few months has resulted in quite a few pages of inked-out thoughts. I'm rather amazed at the rate at which I'm writing; I'm writing daily, even if it is just scattered notes and thoughts that may never see the light of day ( Read more... )

I haven't done a proper entry since before I went insane. I don't expect this to be a proper entry, either ( Read more... )

That inner calm I love and crave is somewhat returning. Although, it should be noted, that to me an 'inner calm' means a quiet, controllable/manageable state of constant turmoil. I don't think I'll ever be at peace, at least not in this lifetime ( Read more... )

The morning hours have treated me well. My meeting with a high school principal (who is former teacher of mine) proved to be successful and fruitful. It is true, that today I only got to observe (as opposed to have any hands on teaching, but that'll come in time, I imagine), but I'm still pleased with the way things are/will be going. I look ( Read more... )