the conversation: brief musings on America
It is not a new story, but it has taken on more complex and urgent qualities. In the wake of the financial crisis and the continued erosion of American power, it seems more and more common to discuss why and how those happened and too often the conversation ends in cynical despair and defeatism. I am certainly guilty of that.
It happened again today. On this cold, wet, rainy, lonely Saturday I went to a Birthday party/meet the baby party/they are moving to Nebraska. It was for a family with a couple I have known for years, before they had kids, even. In fact, this ties into the conversation to begin with --the couple is uprooting their family because of California (Modesto in particular) and the failed system. The public transit is inadequate, schools are poorly run, there is little opportunity or growth for anyone, unemployment is high, drug use is rampant, there are no "safe" parts of town, resources are scarce, etc. In the end, they want better for their children, so they are going to Nebraska where they have family. Nebraska has a better education system, lower unemployment, a chance to actually start and lead a good, decent life.
This may all very well be true. California's k-12 education is not highly regarded. In fact, it is often commented on the fact that in California, if you are not involved in the educational system you are probably part of the jail/prison system. It seems if we can't teach you, we lock you up. Also, yes, the unemployment is disturbingly high. Modesto has been called Methdesto and the meth capital of the world.
But there is more, much more than that.
The couple has complained of resource allocation. What have they done to maximise the limited resources? The female is bright, actually. We met through honours courses, which she excelled in. What happened? Her priorities changed; she opted for choir and her then boyfriend now husband instead of academics. She scraped by with her diploma (as did he; he is not particularly smart though, in all honesty, so for him it was a struggle).
So, no education, and already then an acknowledgement of the terrible issues which plague our region. What did they do? Was it look for careers? Was it further education? No, it was shit jobs. Whatever could be found to pay the rent. And then it was have children.
Yes, it is hard to make ends meet, truly. But now, more mouths to feed! Yes! That will solve all.
On yet another related note, I have another friend. He is single and demoralised. When the Occupy Movement started some 6 months ago, him and I had a new spark to our friendship. It attracted both of us; me as a sign of hope for a better today and tomorrow; him for the collapse and dismantling of not just the American experiment, but the human experience itself. He feels to trapped, too inadequate for modern society, and thus it is easier to acquiesce than to fight it at all.
So, I finally asked myself --am I that defeatist? Do I pray Morrissey is wrong every time I hear him sing "It may all end tomorrow, or it could go on forever --in which case I'm doomed"? Is the answer to be found in a geographic? Will having children be the panacea and the gateway to a better life?
I don't know that typing this entry will solve anything, but apparently I must --for why else post it on the internet, let alone write it?
I do know this --last night I went to an Occupy Modesto meeting. Yes, we have one of those --granted, by the email list I receive and the people present, it is a group of some a handful of middle-aged and/or retired individuals. I was the only one under 30 there (unless these 2 gentlemen that did look younger were also in that demographic). I also signed up for an LoveModesto project. I continue to make better dietary choices.
But, back to that conversation. It leads to this circular logic that inevitably veers away from personal shortcomings. This isn't necessarily bad or meant to cast judgments; my life's accomplishments are many, but so are the personal shortcomings and list of chronic health issues I face. The point is, it turns to topics that reveal my ignorance and that of many others. It leads to people wanting to blame political factions or leaders; it turns to "I'm too busy to vote!" "I'm not well enough informed on the issue to decide anything," "I don't understand that and I don't think I can" " why bother? the world's already fucked" "Mayan Calendar and 2012!" "I don't see the point" "it's because we're not living by our Christian values" etc. I just want to strangle people!
I don't know. I mean, I understand. I get it. People are interested in living more comfortable lives; we are interested in convenience and avoiding responsibility. But there's just no passion.
I'm not sure I'm passionate yet. I don't know if this energy will be there tomorrow. In fact, I must also confession to an increase in my irritability level. I suppose that is a start and yet another goal to add to tomorrow --be nicer.
Maybe this entry shouldn't exist?
It happened again today. On this cold, wet, rainy, lonely Saturday I went to a Birthday party/meet the baby party/they are moving to Nebraska. It was for a family with a couple I have known for years, before they had kids, even. In fact, this ties into the conversation to begin with --the couple is uprooting their family because of California (Modesto in particular) and the failed system. The public transit is inadequate, schools are poorly run, there is little opportunity or growth for anyone, unemployment is high, drug use is rampant, there are no "safe" parts of town, resources are scarce, etc. In the end, they want better for their children, so they are going to Nebraska where they have family. Nebraska has a better education system, lower unemployment, a chance to actually start and lead a good, decent life.
This may all very well be true. California's k-12 education is not highly regarded. In fact, it is often commented on the fact that in California, if you are not involved in the educational system you are probably part of the jail/prison system. It seems if we can't teach you, we lock you up. Also, yes, the unemployment is disturbingly high. Modesto has been called Methdesto and the meth capital of the world.
But there is more, much more than that.
The couple has complained of resource allocation. What have they done to maximise the limited resources? The female is bright, actually. We met through honours courses, which she excelled in. What happened? Her priorities changed; she opted for choir and her then boyfriend now husband instead of academics. She scraped by with her diploma (as did he; he is not particularly smart though, in all honesty, so for him it was a struggle).
So, no education, and already then an acknowledgement of the terrible issues which plague our region. What did they do? Was it look for careers? Was it further education? No, it was shit jobs. Whatever could be found to pay the rent. And then it was have children.
Yes, it is hard to make ends meet, truly. But now, more mouths to feed! Yes! That will solve all.
On yet another related note, I have another friend. He is single and demoralised. When the Occupy Movement started some 6 months ago, him and I had a new spark to our friendship. It attracted both of us; me as a sign of hope for a better today and tomorrow; him for the collapse and dismantling of not just the American experiment, but the human experience itself. He feels to trapped, too inadequate for modern society, and thus it is easier to acquiesce than to fight it at all.
So, I finally asked myself --am I that defeatist? Do I pray Morrissey is wrong every time I hear him sing "It may all end tomorrow, or it could go on forever --in which case I'm doomed"? Is the answer to be found in a geographic? Will having children be the panacea and the gateway to a better life?
I don't know that typing this entry will solve anything, but apparently I must --for why else post it on the internet, let alone write it?
I do know this --last night I went to an Occupy Modesto meeting. Yes, we have one of those --granted, by the email list I receive and the people present, it is a group of some a handful of middle-aged and/or retired individuals. I was the only one under 30 there (unless these 2 gentlemen that did look younger were also in that demographic). I also signed up for an LoveModesto project. I continue to make better dietary choices.
But, back to that conversation. It leads to this circular logic that inevitably veers away from personal shortcomings. This isn't necessarily bad or meant to cast judgments; my life's accomplishments are many, but so are the personal shortcomings and list of chronic health issues I face. The point is, it turns to topics that reveal my ignorance and that of many others. It leads to people wanting to blame political factions or leaders; it turns to "I'm too busy to vote!" "I'm not well enough informed on the issue to decide anything," "I don't understand that and I don't think I can" " why bother? the world's already fucked" "Mayan Calendar and 2012!" "I don't see the point" "it's because we're not living by our Christian values" etc. I just want to strangle people!
I don't know. I mean, I understand. I get it. People are interested in living more comfortable lives; we are interested in convenience and avoiding responsibility. But there's just no passion.
I'm not sure I'm passionate yet. I don't know if this energy will be there tomorrow. In fact, I must also confession to an increase in my irritability level. I suppose that is a start and yet another goal to add to tomorrow --be nicer.
Maybe this entry shouldn't exist?