procrastination is an interest; passion is a way of life
The evening was kind of rough. Actually, today was kind of weird (or I guess yesterday now?) as I proctored state testing (CAHSEEs --California High School Exit Exam). It meant 2 less lesson plans for the week and a chance to grade some shit that had been piling up. I am definitely prepared and I even got to do some things I had been putting off (walking, cooking, reading, anyone?)
I watched a TED Talk less than an hour about the concept of interests and passion. Passion was a driving force in my life for a while; it propelled me through high school and in my first year of college. Then I became interested. It's funny because I have found lj entries and even remember calling the period of roughly 2005-07 (basically the time I was with Jesika) my Brezhnev era. I think had I really been passionate about Soviet history (like I thought I was then) the lack of an historical parallel would have been obvious.
My journal really should be more than rehashing and reanalysing moments that are long gone. In that sense, I am never necessarily part of reality. I suppose, then, what transpired in 2010 was perestroika, glasnost, and the slew of revolutions that propelled Havel to a political hero, claimed Ceausescu, spurred the dismantling of the Yugoslav dream, etc, etc.
But, therein lies the problem. That is an interest; mapping my personal narrative onto the meta-narrative of human history is, well, silly. Pretentious. And perhaps a sign that I haven't always really been there.
At one point --again, in 2004, part of that first year in Santa Cruz, and the end of my passion --I had a discussion with an ex-girlfriend in which I professed a love for her greater than my love of the Cold War. I'm still not sure what the hell I meant by that, as I was quite drunk at the time.
But, right now, I am not drunk. I am simply very tired, but very grateful for all I've been through. I am still working on expressing that, as communication is my ultimate life's purpose, if I had to choose one (which I don't, so please don't quote me on this).
I've always been interested, fascinated by it. But that only gets you so far. It only (to borrow a metaphor from 2007) it only purchases the vitamins --it doesn't ensure actually taking them. I take my vitamins now. The more I take them, the more interests I have found mounting.
But, right now, I am backing off. Simplicity and clarity are key to communication --which is actually something I "learned" in Pragmatics in Fall 2005, but I have only begun to apply recently. I am passionate about that. For that passion, which truly transcends interests, I am grateful.
Gratithursday!
PS Are my entries becoming hokey and predictable happy-ending entries? Because, really, there is no end, no beginning....are you my friend?
I watched a TED Talk less than an hour about the concept of interests and passion. Passion was a driving force in my life for a while; it propelled me through high school and in my first year of college. Then I became interested. It's funny because I have found lj entries and even remember calling the period of roughly 2005-07 (basically the time I was with Jesika) my Brezhnev era. I think had I really been passionate about Soviet history (like I thought I was then) the lack of an historical parallel would have been obvious.
My journal really should be more than rehashing and reanalysing moments that are long gone. In that sense, I am never necessarily part of reality. I suppose, then, what transpired in 2010 was perestroika, glasnost, and the slew of revolutions that propelled Havel to a political hero, claimed Ceausescu, spurred the dismantling of the Yugoslav dream, etc, etc.
But, therein lies the problem. That is an interest; mapping my personal narrative onto the meta-narrative of human history is, well, silly. Pretentious. And perhaps a sign that I haven't always really been there.
At one point --again, in 2004, part of that first year in Santa Cruz, and the end of my passion --I had a discussion with an ex-girlfriend in which I professed a love for her greater than my love of the Cold War. I'm still not sure what the hell I meant by that, as I was quite drunk at the time.
But, right now, I am not drunk. I am simply very tired, but very grateful for all I've been through. I am still working on expressing that, as communication is my ultimate life's purpose, if I had to choose one (which I don't, so please don't quote me on this).
I've always been interested, fascinated by it. But that only gets you so far. It only (to borrow a metaphor from 2007) it only purchases the vitamins --it doesn't ensure actually taking them. I take my vitamins now. The more I take them, the more interests I have found mounting.
But, right now, I am backing off. Simplicity and clarity are key to communication --which is actually something I "learned" in Pragmatics in Fall 2005, but I have only begun to apply recently. I am passionate about that. For that passion, which truly transcends interests, I am grateful.
Gratithursday!
PS Are my entries becoming hokey and predictable happy-ending entries? Because, really, there is no end, no beginning....are you my friend?