I'm not doing so well after yesterday's therapy. Doron was far less supportive than usual after I told him a lot of vulnerable stuff that I came across during therapy. I think he just didn't know what to say or do and reacted by not saying anything, which is a big no-no for dealing with me and my issues (it's how my father reacted when I told him ( Read more... )

I figured I should journal about this, even if I have to be quick about it - I need to work more productively and have been doing a terrible job ( Read more... )

I feel very sad today. I have this rush of emotion, and I'm not entirely sure where it's coming from. I didn't have the best voice class today, in spite of my constant practice. Mike thought my warm ups were great, but Un Bel di Vedremo wasn't the best. I'm still new at it, but he wasn't very encouraging, and I ended class feeling defeated ( Read more... )

I read this interesting article in The New York Times about couples counseling: "Does Couples Counseling Really Work?" or some such title. I passed it onto John and proposed that we consider individual therapy in lieu of couples counseling, which he ended up agreeing with. So, he'll start searching once he gets his insurance card, and I'll begin ( Read more... )

I have five minutes ( Read more... )

John and I have our first couple's counseling session scheduled now for Wednesday evening. It's all the way uptown, off of East 63rd Street. Actually, unless I'm remember it wrong and it's West 63rd Street, that'll be very close to where I used to work. Nice area. No wonder she lives out of her apartment ( Read more... )

Oh I love my Johnny boy. He's been so incredibly stressed. Last night he broke down. I'm glad therapy has done so much for me - I felt like I was myself last night, able to comfort him like I would anyone else. No judgment, just total compassion.

Life is a wreck. But I'm happy. I'm happy, I think, because Marilyn and I have started to touch on all ( Read more... )

I'm so incredibly frustrated right now. I went from cloud 9 to pissed off hell with John. It's like this rational, incisive, intelligent, fun, and humourous man that I've had around for a little bit now has gone to Bermuda and a substitute John has appeared to run things. This substitute John cannot form sentences, has no common sense (he held my ( Read more... )

Luna bars. They don't really taste all that wonderful. I ate half of one about ten minutes ago and have since been glancing at the other half that's been sitting in its wrapper on my desk ( Read more... )

My job is miserable. John was trying to explain to me last night that my mother is an extremely abusive boss. I know. I feel like there's nothing I can do about it and that I'm stuck. Discussing it and even thinking too negatively about it kept bringing to mind the idea of betrayal, like I was betraying them by even thinking certain things. That's ( Read more... )