Fanfiction || Amphierotic Bloodlines || Bellatrix/Narcissa || Part Twenty Two

[cuzimastripper]

Title: Amphierotic Bloodlines
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta(s): supershineygirl (chapter two), dolfynrider (chapter three & onwards)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17
Length Thus Far: 170,094 words
Main Pairing: Bellatrix/Narcissa
Sub Pairings: Narcissa/Lucius, Narcissa/OC, Bellatrix/OC, Bellatrix/Rodolphus
Summary: Growing up in the 1960s in a family that expected nothing less than perfection, anything less than such was deemed unfit for a young woman of their status and was punished severely. A house that was classified as 'noble' had dark secrets hidden within those walls, a fear that only the people within experienced. The confusion young girls have growing up was more than intensified in there: it bordered on practically unbearable. This is a story about growing up, about surviving abuse, and about finding salvation and love from anyone you can, even if it’s from the last person on earth you know you should ever hold a deep affection for.
Warning(s): Lesbian incest, graphic child abuse, dubcon, sex between minors, anorexia nervosa, forced miscarriage, character death (minor), first chapter is un-beta’d
A/N: For NaNoWriMo 2010. This story is entirely from Narcissa’s POV (though not in first person) and will only include up to her graduation from Hogwarts. I may do a sequel later to cover her adult years, but for now I think this is more than enough.
Other Parts: PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT | PART NINE | PART TEN | PART ELEVEN | PART TWELVE | PART THIRTEEN | PART FOURTEEN | PART FIFTEEN | PART SIXTEEN | PART SEVENTEEN | PART EIGHTEEN | PART NINETEEN | PART TWENTY | PART TWENTY ONE

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

Lucius tried to convince her that the possibility for pregnancy was really slim, that she may not even be ovulating right now, but it didn’t really make Narcissa feel any better. They weren’t due to marry until after her seventeenth birthday, which was two years from now. A child out of wedlock would be extremely shameful and would put an irreparable blemish on both of their reputations. It didn’t matter in pureblooded families if the couple were engaged, some things were just expected. Tradition may be ridiculous, but it was put in place for a reason. They were better than everyone else, and thus they were expected to act as such.

Narcissa knew that there were many women that tried for months, even years to get pregnant; but she also knew there were women who accidently became pregnant their first time. It could go either way, so no matter how much Lucius tried to convince her that it was unlikely that anything would come for it, she still found herself scared. She was fifteen - she was too young to have a child. She was practically still a child herself.

Christmas vacation came too quickly. The weeks felt like days and when Narcissa found herself stepping off the Hogwarts Express, her nerves bubbled up to the surface when she took sight of her sister. She did not look pleased. With everything already going on; the pressure about her OWLs and her possible pregnancy scare, she didn’t want to deal with her either. But then, even on top of that, she had to find a way to get Andromeda’s money.

Really, in all, this week did not look to be a good one.

Narcissa grabbed her trunk and trudged over to Bellatrix, eyes downcast. She took her sister’s hand when it was offered to her, but Bellatrix didn’t say a word before she turned on the spot, apparating them both back to the manor. When their feet landed on solid flooring Narcissa pitched forward, feeling really ill. She’ll never get used to that, that’s for sure. She groaned, rubbing her stomach so as to not find herself vomiting all over the Lestrange’s expensive mahogany flooring.

“Don’t be a pussy,” Bellatrix said as she took notice of her sister’s ill features. “It’s about time you handled the sensations; you’ll be learning how to apparate soon enough.”

“It’s not my fault that spinning out of control makes me ill,” Narcissa snapped, closing her eyes for a moment to help shake off the last of her nausea. While apparating was a lot cleaner than floo powder, Narcissa found she liked the latter a whole lot more.

Suddenly, vomit hit the floor. But it wasn’t from Narcissa.

“Now who’s a pussy,” Narcissa responded dryly as she watched her sister spit the remnants of it in disgust.

“Shut up, Cissy. I’m fucking sick.”

She called for the house elf, who came in and cleaned it post haste. Bellatrix flopped onto the couch groaning as she closed her eyes, cradling her stomach. Narcissa stared at her, the situation clicking in her head rather quickly. Her eyes flashed dangerously.

“You’re still taking them, aren’t you?”

“It’s none of your sodding business.”

“How can you say it’s not my business, Bella?! You are my business,” Narcissa exclaimed. She threw her hands out at her. “Look at you! Your headaches are getting so much worse that you’re vomiting now. How can you think that’s okay?!”

Bellatrix’s eyes snapped open, fire in her gaze as she stared her down. “How can I think that’s okay?” she asked rhetorically, voice deadly calm. “It’s my choice, Cissy; that’s why it’s okay. You, on the other hand, stole from me, when you had no right to! Not that you care, but those fucking things are expensive!”

“I did it to help you!”

“Check your facts, Princess; lately I haven’t been the one in need of help.”

Narcissa raised an eyebrow, not buying that in the slightest. Sure, she might have a lot going on right now, but Bellatrix didn’t even know the half of it. The only thing she needed help with lately was Lucius, and Bellatrix fell apart when that happened too. And okay, fine she did have that little… eating disorder issue, but in retrospect, Bellatrix had always been far more in need of help then she was.

“That’s hilarious,” Narcissa responded dryly. “You’re always going to be fucked, Bella. And I’m always going to be the one to have to pick up the pieces.” It was harsh, but it was true. It was probably time they started being honest with one another.

“Who do you think picks up the pieces of your life?” Bellatrix countered, angry. “Maybe once I was the only one who was screwed up, but you’re completely fucked now, love; whether you want to be or not. Maybe not in the same way, but I have to fix your life just as much as you fix mine. So don’t you dare take the high road with me.”

Narcissa wasn’t exactly sure she had a retort for that, so she responded by crossing her arms over her chest and looking at her indignantly. “Thanks, by the way, for that amazing birthday greeting you sent me.”

“I didn’t send you shit.”

“Yeah,” Narcissa replied flatly. “That was my point.” She stared at Bellatrix, jaw locked, until her sister looked up to meet her eyes.

“You stole from me,” Bellatrix told her evenly. “I’m not about to condone that. You’re supposed to be my sister, I’m supposed to be able to trust you. And instead you fuck me in the arse? You and your sodding birthday can go screw yourself.”

Narcissa’s mouth dropped open in offense.

“Take your trunk up to your room,” Bellatrix ordered her, leaning her elbow on the edge of the couch while her hand massaged her throbbing temples. “Get out of my face.”

Narcissa’s jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed as she grabbed her trunk angrily. She was about to storm out, but instead, the urge to have the last word arose in her and she turned to her angrily, shouting, “You’re such an insufferable cunt, aren’t you?! God forbid I try to help you, right? Christ, I swear you think you’re bloody invincible sometimes! But no one is invincible, Bella; least of all you.”

“You know, I’m sick of the way you think you can speak to me-!”

“I can speak to you any way I please! Just because you’re older doesn’t make you better than me, Bellatrix!”

“GIRLS!” Their argument was interrupted by Rodolphus, who was descending the stairs, not looking pleased at all. “Shut your sodding mouths before the neighbors hear you; do either of you have any sense of self-respect? You both are quarreling like bratty children; settle your differences like proper women.”

“Piss off Rodolphus, this doesn’t concern you,” Bellatrix answered in a bored tone, like he wasn’t even worth the time of day.

“Considering you’re under my roof, I’d say it’s my business,” Rodolphus answered, coming down the last of the stairs. Bellatrix scoffed as she stood up.

“You know what? Neither of you are worth my fucking breath,” she dismissed, rubbing the side of her head like her headache was increasing. She stormed off, leaving them both with the parting gift of her middle finger before she brushed past Rodolphus, climbing the stairs to her bedroom.

“You need to do something about her!” Narcissa accused, pointing angrily up the stairs at his wife.

“Excuse me?”

“I know you two hold no love for each other, but are you that cruel that you wish her suffering?!” Narcissa exclaimed, angry at him now. He’s here every damn day and does nothing to stop her sister’s pain.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

“The sodding potions, Rodolphus! Are you that thick?!”

A look of offense crossed over her brother-in-law’s face, but unlike Bellatrix and herself, he continued to keep his composure. Rodolphus stood up straighter, a look of indignation on his face as he answered, “I was under the impression they were helping her. And I wish you would stop screaming at me like an irritating child and start speaking to me like an adult; you’re not that far off, you know. Best you start acting like one.”

“I care nothing for what you think of me,” Narcissa snapped. “And if you actually gave a sod about anyone other than yourself, you’d see that those potions she insists on taking are making her ill! Her headaches are growing worse now that she’s constantly vomiting, or haven’t you noticed?”

By the surprised look on Rodolphus’ face, Narcissa gathered he didn’t even notice.

“I don’t know what they’re doing to her, but it’s not good. Her symptoms are growing worse; God only knows what will be next. So lest you wish her an early demise, I suggest you start acting like a proper husband and take care of her, cause she won’t sodding listen to me.”

It was many hours later when Narcissa heard the consequences of her conversation with Rodolphus. They were screaming at each other downstairs, Bellatrix in a fury that her husband was siding with her sister. Narcissa was crouched at the top of the stairs, wincing every time she heard something break. It seemed Bellatrix had taken to throwing their china to better make her point.

“You do not dictate my life! This is my problem and this is my solution; you can sod the fuck off if you don’t like it!”

“I’m not going to let you kill yourself, you stupid woman! If I see one more of those bloody potions in this house, so help me God I will put you out on your arse!”

“I’ll fucking kill you before you get the chance! I won’t be dishonored; I’m Bellatrix Black, you spineless bastard!”

This wasn’t exactly what Narcissa had wanted. But then again, was anything with her sister ever easy? If you push, she’ll come back and push even harder. Narcissa sighed, leaning her head against the banister of the stairs. This argument was going to last all night, it seemed. She wished that once, just once, Bellatrix would stop being so stubborn; but the problem was Narcissa had a feeling Bellatrix knew the potions were killing her.

And she didn’t care in the slightest. Perhaps she even thought she’d be better off dead.

Not that Bellatrix would ever admit to that. Bellatrix sought to make herself appear stronger than she really was; even in front of Narcissa, who knew the true her. Bellatrix was angry; if there was one word to describe her sister it’d just be that: angry. If she couldn’t take her anger out on someone else, she took it out on herself. At the end of the day, she just wanted someone to pay; she wanted to see blood, and it didn’t matter in the slightest who it came from.

The screaming and the crashing downstairs grew louder. Narcissa wanted to intervene, but this wasn’t about her anymore. For once, Rodolphus needed to step up and take care of his wife, instead of expecting Narcissa to do it. And it may sound horrid, but for once Narcissa was glad she wasn’t the one being screamed at.

Narcissa didn’t know long she sat up there, nor how long it lasted. It seemed like hours. But finally, Narcissa heard something that made her stand up quickly and rush down the stairs: a blood-curdling scream. Her sister had completely snapped.

When she rounded the corner, the sight that greeted her was awful. It looked like Bellatrix had nearly destroyed the whole dining room in her rage. The table was snapped in half, broken dishes littered the floor. The chairs were upturned and some of the glass in the cabinets had been shattered. Rodolphus and Bellatrix stood in the middle of all of it, Bellatrix’s eyes black as coal as she held her wand to her husband’s throat. She had a sick smile adorning her features.

“Bella, don’t!”

“Ickle Cissy decided to join the fun and games, did she?” Bellatrix mocked in a baby voice, though didn’t even spare her a glance.

She cocked her head, peering at Rodolphus with an inquisitive look on her face. “Interesting, that she would come to your defense,” she addressed him, an accusatory tone on her voice. She seemed to come to some irrational conclusion though and fire burned in her eyes as she pressed the wand so hard up against his jugular that he choked. “Do you fuck her, is that why?” The tip of the wand burned red and Rodolphus cried out in pain. “You dare touch my property?!” Bellatrix shrieked, furious.

“Bella, stop it!” Narcissa shouted, running over to her and grabbing her arm, pulling it away from Rodolphus. “He’s not fucking me, I swear it! Please, just-” but she’s cut off by Bellatrix lashing out, her hand connecting with her face. Narcissa fell to the ground, groaning in pain. This sucked.

“NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!”

As Bellatrix knelt down to tend to Narcissa, Rodolphus coughed uncomfortably before he brought his own wand up to his throat, healing the skin that Bellatrix had marred. He looked furious. “Now what?!” he shouted at Narcissa. “Now what do we fucking do?! You don’t want her to take them, but look what she turns into if she doesn’t!”

Narcissa slapped Bellatrix’s hand away that was delicately stroking her cheek, actually looking remorseful for having accidently hit her in her fury. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” she grumbled. She always had to fucking do everything, didn’t she? “Order a prostitute,” she ordered him, still trying to keep Bellatrix’s hands off of her. Bellatrix, however, seemed to think that it had become some sort of game and was cackling madly at Narcissa’s protests.

“A what?”

“Sex; sex gets rid of it,” Narcissa explained in a rush before she turned to Bellatrix and shouted, “HANDS OFF, BELLA! NOW!” She pushed Bellatrix off of her in a huff, hoisting herself to her feet before brushing her dress off. Normally she would have just taken her upstairs, done it herself, but she didn’t want to touch her right now; she was too angry. She wasn’t exactly thrilled with Bellatrix being touched by another woman, but right now it was her only option.

“Do you know how bloody much I’m going to have to pay the whore to deal with that?” Rodolphus exclaimed, throwing his hands out to indicate Bellatrix in her less than sane state.

“Well unless you want to do it,” Narcissa snapped, before pushing Bellatrix off of her again, who was trying to play with her hair. “Stop. I mean it.”

“Let me kill him, Cissy,” she begged childishly, completely ignoring her husband in the room. “I want to feel his blood on my hands. I want to eat his heart. I hate him. I want to destroy him; he makes things so much less fun.”

“You shouldn’t hate him; he’s the one advocating for you to stay,” Narcissa told her, looking her dead in the eyes. She played the game of sane vs. insane, because right now it worked to her advantage. “She’s trying to kill you, you know; keep you locked in a box until you ultimately die out. We’re trying to save you, so do yourself a favor and stop being such a sodding bitch and sit down.”

Bellatrix’s eyes flashed, but she did as she was told. She wandered into the living room, destroying anything in her path until she flopped down on the couch. She was actually pouting. But then again, it wasn’t like she was exactly mature while in this state.

“Why does she listen to you when she’s like that?” Rodolphus asked, surprised Bellatrix did what was asked of her.

“Because she loves me, idiot. It doesn’t matter what state she’s in; she needs me. I’m the only one that ever bloody takes care of her,” Narcissa snapped, clearly not in any mood to be nice about anything. She was sick of all the weight falling on her shoulders. “Look, just owl the whore, okay? You’re going to need to learn how to deal with this when I’m away at school. I can’t always be here to pick up the pieces.”

“And where do you expect me to find a male prostitute? It isn’t like I’ve ever ordered one for myself!”

Narcissa stared at him. Oh, shit; he didn’t know. She thought by now he would at least have some idea, but it seemed he knew nothing at all. Bellatrix must be keeping her secret better than Narcissa thought. But she couldn’t tell him to get a male one, it wouldn’t work. Narcissa’s sure the change is instilled during orgasm and she very much doubted her sister would have one with a man.

“Don’t… have a fit or anything,” Narcissa started calmly, knowing this was probably about to blow up in her face regardless. “But Bella likes…” the last word came out barely above a whisper, “women.”

Rodolphus stared at her, his expression unreadable.

“Please, don’t tell her I told you,” Narcissa begged. “But a man isn’t going to help and unless you wish her to constantly be like this, you need to adhere to her preference. It won’t work otherwise. If she asks just… I don’t know, say you bloody guessed or something, anything! I just can’t deal with her jumping down my throat right now; I have enough problems as it is without the added weight of her fury.”

“My wife…” Rodolphus started slowly, “is a bloody dyke?!”

“Don’t call her that!” Narcissa raged, hating that word. “And it’s not like it should come as any surprise; she had no interest in bedding you after all. And you know, it’s not like you’re perfect either; screwing the next-door neighbor! Who, that I also hear, is married.” Rodolphus looked halfway between surprised that she knew, and angry that she would pass judgment. “I live in this house, Rodolphus,” Narcissa explained angrily. “I know everything. So lest you wish me to pay a visit to your slag’s husband, I suggest you do as I say and stop passing judgment on your own wife. You took the vows; for better or for worse. Now stick to them.”

“This is… disgusting,” Rodolphus replied, shaking his head. His expression indicated both loathing and illness at the very prospect at his wife being a homosexual. But it didn’t matter; what he thought didn’t sodding matter. His eyes burned into hers then, angry that she would blackmail him. But it seemed to be the thing to do between purebloods recently, didn’t it? “I’ll do as you ask; I don’t wish to mar our family’s reputation any more than it is. But don’t think that I haven’t put two and two together either; you’re too young to order a prostitute.”

His eyes indicated an accusation and Narcissa flushed in anger. “I don’t know what you’re insinuating, but stop wasting time and do as you’re told. I’m tired of having to be the adult around here.” She turned away from him and stormed off, out of the dining room, past Bellatrix in the living room who called out to her to come play with her, and up the stairs to her room.

Narcissa lay on her bed for the better half of the last couple hours. She could hear them, down the hall; Bellatrix and that whore. Her sister apparently didn’t care enough, or didn’t even think while in that state, to use the Muffliato spell. Or perhaps she didn’t use it just so Narcissa could hear her. Her stomach burned in jealousy but it didn’t matter; she had asked for this. After everything that had gone on, she didn’t want to be the one to fix it all. She had done that too much in her life already.

It made her sick though; listening to it. Bellatrix, or rather, crazy Bellatrix, didn’t exactly play nice with the slag. Narcissa couldn’t even imagine how much Rodolphus would have to pay her to deal with that sort of thing. Bellatrix liked to hurt her while she was fucking her; Narcissa heard the screams. Maybe it was a testament to how professional the girl was, or maybe just proof that she was a masochist, but she didn’t leave. She took it. All of it. And by the end of it, Narcissa was sure she ended up a whole lot richer.

It was at least a half an hour after it ended before Bellatrix came to her room. She stood in the doorway, looking at Narcissa who was lying on her side, clutching her stomach as she stared at the wall. She knew she was there, but she didn’t want to talk to her.

“You told him.”

Narcissa took a shuddered intake of breath. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she responded softly, still refusing to look at her.

“Bullshit.”

“Please, Bella; not now. I’m not feeling well, okay?” Narcissa begged, curling her knees up to her chest a little more. Bellatrix cocked her head to the side, as if assessing her.

“Sick with jealousy, or sick with guilt?” she asked scathingly. Narcissa responded by giving her the finger. Bellatrix chuckled under her breath angrily. She took a few more steps inside Narcissa’s bedroom before closing the door behind her; apparently not keen on having this conversation overheard.

Narcissa sighed. She knew she wasn’t going to leave.

“I did what I had to do to keep you safe,” Narcissa told her. “I know you hate changing, but the alternative was killing you.”

“That’s not what I was talking about, but we could fucking start there, if you’d like,” Bellatrix snapped. “You had no right-”

“I HAD EVERY FUCKING RIGHT!” Narcissa screamed, pissed off that this conversation was happening when she wasn’t feeling well. Leave it to Bellatrix to not care in the slightest; she was so goddamn selfish all the time. “I was not going to sit by and watch your health deteriorate because you’re too damn stubborn and too damn suicidal to care otherwise! When it comes to your wishes versus your health, then I’m sorry, but I’m always going to choose the latter. Nothing you do or say is going to make me change that.” Her eyes bore into hers before she finished, “Conversation over.” She rolled around, putting her back to her. She wasn’t going to indulge in these stupid arguments anymore.

“You told my fucking husband I was a lesbian,” Bellatrix responded dangerously, either not having an argument for what Narcissa just said, or not caring about it in comparison.

Narcissa said nothing. She wasn’t going to fuel the fire. So she lay still, ignoring her.

“ANSWER ME!”

Silence.

Narcissa let out a startled scream as suddenly her sister jumped on the bed, grabbing her arm forcefully to roll her over. Bellatrix wanted her to face her. Narcissa emitted a sound of protest as Bellatrix pinned her arms to the bed, her grip tightening painfully.

“Stop! Bella, you’re hurting me!”

“Do you think I care? You told him I was gay! What the fuck is wrong with you, Cissy? Do you have any idea what you’ve just done?!”

Bellatrix was shaking her so hard that her stomach gurgled uncomfortably. Narcissa probably had a good thirty seconds before she realized that she was going to vomit and she cried, “Stop! I’m gonna-” before she didn’t even bother finishing the rest of her sentence. She kicked her instead, causing Bellatrix to at least lessen her grip enough that she could scramble out from under her. Her feet hit the floor and she ran towards the connecting bathroom, falling to her knees at the toilet just in time for her to upheaval into it.

Narcissa coughed, spitting a little as she groaned, slumping her head on the side of the toilet bowl. Why the hell did this have to happen now? Like she didn’t have enough going on that she had to be ill on top of it. Now that she threw up though, she did feel a little better; thankfully. She closed her eyes, trying to breathe a little slower.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” came Bellatrix’s voice from the entrance of the bathroom. She still sounded angry, but she at least sounded concerned too.

“Nothing, I think it’s just something I ate,” Narcissa mumbled as she climbed to her feet, flushing the toilet. She then made her way over to the sink.

“You eat now?”

Narcissa shot her a scathing look. “Yes, Bella. I eat now.” Maybe not a feast, but she was up to eating one full meal a day. She turned on the faucet in the sink and began to wash her mouth out. Vomiting was never pleasant.

Bellatrix peered at her intently, as if trying to find any sign of a lie. Finally she said, “I’m proud of you.” That made Narcissa pause, turning to look at her in surprise. She wasn’t expecting that, especially after nearly getting manhandled.

“Um… thanks.”

Narcissa stood up straight and grabbed a towel, drying her mouth. When she put it back on the rack she let out a breath, staring at her sister. She didn’t exactly want to lie, but she also didn’t want to get into another fight. “I swear I didn’t tell him,” she started softly. “He just… he just knew. I wouldn’t betray your trust like that; you have to believe me.”

It kind of killed her inside to say those things, but she needed to think of her own well-being over her sister’s for once.

“How the fuck did he just know?” Bellatrix exclaimed, looking halfway between angry and perplexed.

“I don’t know! I just… I told him to order a prostitute and he… he got you a woman. But I mean, if he had gotten you a man, it wouldn’t have even worked, so why are you angry? He obviously isn’t going to leave you because of it.”

“Because I don’t need everyone and their fucking mother knowing my business!” Bellatrix shouted. “Why didn’t you just-?”

“What? Fuck you?” Narcissa answered for her. She shot her an indignant look and put her hands on her hips. “Contrary to your belief, I don’t count the days until I can sleep with you again. And after telling me that I’m ‘not worth your breath’ and screaming at me all day; call me crazy, but I wasn’t exactly in the mood.”

Bellatrix stared at her; apparently not having a good retort for that. She slumped against the threshold of the door instead, kicking her leg out to lie flat against the other side, successfully trapping Narcissa in the bathroom. The blonde raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

“Look… I’m sorry I said that stuff, okay? I’ve been… really fucking agitated lately; not just with you, but with everything. Too much stuff is going on and I’m having an issue handling it. Obviously.”

Narcissa’s eyebrows rose. Well, she wasn’t exactly expecting to be trapped in here for an apology. Not that the apology was a great one; Bellatrix didn’t look at her when she said it and it came out more like a mumble than anything else, but it was something at least.

“Thank you,” Narcissa replied softly. Her fingers drummed softly on the sink for a moment before she finished, “But we can’t have sex anymore.”

Bellatrix’s foot slid down from the threshold so fast it squeaked, hitting the ground with a bang. She turned to look at her.

“What? Where the hell did that come from?”

“Well what do you expect?” Narcissa answered, throwing up her hands helplessly. “I swear to God, Bella; we spend more time trying to hide our relationship than actually having one lately.”

“We can have a relationship!” Bellatrix protested. Narcissa outright laughed at that.

“Please. I don’t think you even know how to have one; at least not a healthy one. Besides, you did everything you could to push me away over the summer when I actually, for once in my goddamn life, really needed you. I needed you to be there for me, to love me, to take care of me. You didn’t.”

“We had to lay low for a while, Cissy! Lucius-”

“Is not our only goddamn problem,” Narcissa interrupted. “No matter what we do, no matter how ‘low’ we lay, it’s never going to stop. People are always going to suspect, and the people that know are always going to blackmail us.”

“If it’s never going to stop, then why not make it worth it?”

Narcissa stared at her. She didn’t exactly have an answer for that.

“Narcissa… I love you.” It was said so softly, so sad.

Narcissa’s heart lurched and she looked down at the floor, chewing hard on her bottom lip. She wanted to believe her, but everything was always such shit all the time that Narcissa was beginning to wonder if Bellatrix even knew the meaning of the word. But she knew things were changing. There once was a time when Narcissa would tell her everything that had happened in her life, yet now she found herself keeping more secrets than ever before. She just… she didn’t really trust her anymore. Perhaps that was part of growing up.

Bellatrix looked at her for a long while, probably waiting for an answer. When she realized she wasn’t going to receive one, she walked over to her slowly, dropping to her knees in front of her. Narcissa’s eyebrows got lost in her hairline.

“Bella…” she tried to protest, but it got caught in her throat as her sister raked her nails up her thigh, hiking up her dress.

“If you don’t believe me, than let me show you,” she whispered, her pupils dilating slightly once she took notice of Narcissa’s white, lace panties. She licked her bottom lip, before she leaned in, kissing Narcissa’s thigh gently, like she was worth her weight in gold.

“With sex.” It wasn’t a question; more of a disappointed statement. Bellatrix looked up at her, identical brown eyes boring into one another.

“It’s the only way I know how,” she admitted quietly, even a little painfully. Narcissa bit her lip, upset, but she knew it was the truth. She couldn’t fault her for the truth, but she couldn’t help being upset over it.

“I know…” she whispered softly.

She meant to push her away then, to tell her no; sex wasn’t enough even though it was all Bellatrix knew how to give, but when her sister’s hand slid her panties to the side and her tongue got lost in her folds, Narcissa forgot how to breathe. Her eyes fluttered closed automatically and her hand raked through Bellatrix’s curls, whimpering softly in encouragement.

Sometimes she doesn’t know why she bothered pretending that they would never have sex again. It seemed every time one of them said that, they ended up doing it shortly afterwards. Maybe they just needed to say it out loud; confirm that they knew what they were doing was wrong. But it didn’t change anything.

And honestly, Narcissa was sure it never would. Even though she didn’t feel like what Bellatrix could give her was enough, she also didn’t think she’d ever be able to give up what little she got either.

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

“Suck it in!”

“Bella, I can’t; I think I’m going to be-” But Narcissa didn’t get to finish her sentence. The overwhelming urge to vomit made itself presentable and she shoved her sister away from her before making a beeline into the bathroom.

It was Christmas Eve, the day of the engagement party. Bellatrix was trying to help Narcissa pick out a suitable dress, but it was proving to be rather difficult. She found she was too bloated to fit into most of her things, so Bellatrix decided using a corset would have to suffice; that way she could easily be slimmed down to fit into anything. However, tightening the strings seemed to upset Narcissa’s stomach in some way and, well, now she was becoming intimately familiar with the porcelain bowl.

As she got up and headed over to the sink, groaning about her predicament, Bellatrix looked at her in worry. “Are you alright? You’ve been sick off and on for days.”

Narcissa washed her mouth out before she answered in a shaky voice, “I’m fine, I’m just… I’m nervous, I think. I’ve never really had a big party in my honor before.” She tried to brush it off, but the truth was, she was worried. She was praying she was bloated right now because she was about to start her period, but the truth was, it was nearly a week late already. That terrified her.

Narcissa dried her mouth with a towel while her sister continued to stare at her. “It’s more than that, Cissy. Come here; let me feel your head.”

“I’m fine,” Narcissa tried to protest, but Bellatrix walked up to her and pressed her palm to her forehead. A confused look washed over her face before she put her hand back down.

“You feel alright.”

“I told you. I think it’s just nerves, don’t worry about it,” Narcissa dismissed, giving her a small smile like her worrying was adorable. It kind of was, in a way. There were times, few and far between, that Bellatrix pried her head out of her own ass and saw something in front of her that wasn’t about herself.

“No, something’s wrong. No one throws up like that, especially not over the course of a few days, without there being something wrong,” Bellatrix told her sternly. She pressed the back of her hand to Narcissa’s head, then her cheek as she looked at her with concern. “Hold on, I’ll be back.”

“Bella-”

But it was of no use. Bellatrix left the bathroom and went down the hall, leaving Narcissa leaning against the sink. “Shit,” she swore under her breath. She didn’t want to tell Bellatrix what was going on; she would throw a fit. She’d probably try to castrate Lucius in the process as well, which would be less than preferable.

She was just as scared to tell her sister she had lost her virginity, as she was to tell her that there was the possibility she could be pregnant. Maybe it was stupid, but it felt like a betrayal to her in a way. Even though Bellatrix always said she didn’t want to be the one to take her chastity, Narcissa spent most of her life believing she would be the one who would, regardless. It was just strange; Lucius having a part of her that Bellatrix could never touch. It wasn’t something that she was used to and it made her feel a little… torn.

Narcissa made her way back into her bedroom, tearing off the half undone corset and throwing it to the ground in a huff. She had no idea how she was to manage wearing anything nice when nothing would fit. It probably also didn’t help that since she had started eating relatively normally again that she was gaining weight. She knew when she stopped in Diagon Alley yesterday to get her sister’s money that she should have bought a new dress, but somehow being tens of thousands of galleons lighter kind of ruined her shopping mood.

Narcissa didn’t want to risk Bellatrix finding out about Andromeda blackmailing her, so she took it all from her account. Granted, in light of marrying Lucius, who also came from a wealthy family, it wouldn’t hurt her to lose it. However, it did make her a tad more paranoid when it came to spending her money, which apparently was an awful decision seeing as now she had nothing to wear.

Bellatrix came back in the room with a potion in her hands, but stopped dead when she saw Narcissa sitting on her bed with nothing but her panties on. “Christ, Cissy; the door is open! What if Rodolphus walked by!” She shot her a glare as she quickly closed the door behind her, practically flattening herself against it.

“I thought he wasn’t home,” Narcissa replied apologetically. “He’s been going out of his way to avoid us lately.”

“Yeah, well; he’s a fucking prat,” Bellatrix replied, pushing herself off the door to cross the room. “Yesterday he actually had the nerve to lecture me about being homosexual; telling me it’s a sin, like I didn’t know that already. I told him that last I checked, adultery was too, so he dropped it pretty quickly. It’s still bloody irritating though.” She sighed, sitting on the bed next to Narcissa. Her fingers idly played with the cork in the potion bottle.

Narcissa looked down, feeling guilty for having upset their marriage. Not that it was a great one to begin with, but they did used to get along relatively well. “I’m sorry… about everything.”

“Why? It’s not your fault.”

Narcissa said nothing, since she didn’t want Bellatrix to find out that it was her fault. Instead she changed the subject. “What’s that?” she asked, looking at the potion in her sister’s hand.

“This,” Bellatrix started, pausing for dramatic effect, “is something one of the nurses at St. Mungo’s gave me. Apparently it can tell you exactly what you’re sick with about seventy five percent of the time. She gave it to me before I was diagnosed. She thought that when I came in all crazed that I had perhaps acquired some kind of foreign disease on my honeymoon that caused me to go… well, bat shit nuts. However, this only diagnoses physical illness, not mental illness; hence why it didn’t work for me.”

“Is that why it’s only seventy five percent correct?” Narcissa asked, looking at it wearily. She didn’t know if pregnancy fell under physical illness; it wasn’t exactly an illness, after all.

“I don’t know, honesty; she said it was still in testing and can be temperamental. But it’s worth a shot; if it works your hands will glow a certain color, I guess. Here,” she said, holding it out to her. “All you need is a sip.”

“I don’t know…” Narcissa looked at it warily, not exactly up for playing the odds. “It could be dangerous.”

“Of for fuck’s sake, Cissy; the Healers wouldn’t have given it to me if it were dangerous.”

“They gave you those potions for your condition before and they ended up being dangerous!” Narcissa countered. Bellatrix stumbled over her answer.

“Well… well the potion wasn’t perfected yet; I knew that before I took it.”

“And you said that potion was also in testing, did you not?”

Bellatrix just stared at her, clearly not having a good argument for that. She huffed in aggravation. “Come on; what’s the worst that could happen? Really, either it works or it doesn’t. And we need to figure out what’s wrong with you so I can get you some proper medicine and then maybe we could squeeze you into your corset without you vomiting all over the place.” She shoved the potion in Narcissa’s face. “Now come on, you’re wasting time and we have to be at the Malfoy’s in two hours.”

“I don’t think-”

“Don’t make me force it down your throat.”

Narcissa glared at her, not exactly thrilled with being threatened into it. But she also knew her sister; she would very well force it down her throat if it came to it. So she hesitantly took the potion in her hand, uncorked it, and prayed to anyone who was listening that she wasn’t pregnant. She didn’t know if they were listening, but Bellatrix was staring at her intently so she finally tipped it up to her lips, taking a hesitant sip.

Nothing happened and she handed the potion back to Bellatrix.

“See, I told you, it was just nerves-” But she was cut off as all of a sudden her hands started glowing this eerie light blue color. Narcissa gave a start, finding it incredibly disconcerting. “Oh god, this doesn’t last long, does it?” she asked. She couldn’t go to the Malfoy’s with blue hands!

“I think only a couple minutes, hold on,” Bellatrix replied, taking a piece of parchment out of her robe. She unfolded it and began to scan its contents.

“What’s that?”

“The guide, Cissy,” Bellatrix answered, like she was being thick. “You didn’t think I’d have to guess what the color meant, did you?”

Narcissa nervously drummed her fingers on her leg, her heart thumping in her chest the longer it took her sister to go over the very long list. She was nervous, terrified, and impatient. “I swear, it’s probably just going to say it’s due to nerves, or perhaps even just gas bubbles, and you’re going to look so stupid…”

“Shut up. You-” But Bellatrix stopped mid-sentence, looking from the paper to her with a look of absolute astonishment. Before Narcissa could ask, an angry look fell over Bellatrix’s expression and she threw the piece of paper at her violently before getting up and striding from the room. The door slammed behind her and the walls shook, causing Narcissa to jump.

“Shit,” Narcissa swore, grabbing the list frantically. She knew in her gut what it was before her eyes even scanned over the list. But there it was, in black and white:

Light Blue - Pregnant.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” Narcissa screamed, throwing the parchment to the ground as she completely started to break down. She was shaking, tears were welling up in her eyes, and all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and just die. This couldn’t be happening, it just couldn’t!

Lucius was going to kill her. Her sister was going to kill her. The entirety of the pureblooded elitists were going to look down at her, laugh at her; think her nothing but a harlot. She was going to be ruined. She couldn’t have a baby; she hadn’t even finished her schooling yet!

Narcissa didn’t know how long she had been in a ball on her bed, curled up as she shook and cried. But finally her door flew open, being kicked in by Bellatrix. Narcissa jumped and whimpered, knowing she wasn’t in the frame of mind to deal with this right now. She buried her face in her pillow, clutching the sheets in her hand, and sobbed.

“How could you not tell me?!” Bellatrix shrieked. “And are you that bloody thick that you didn’t think to use protection? You’re such a fucking idiot, aren’t you?!”

Narcissa buried her head further in her pillow, wishing she could just disappear. She was shaking from head to toe; going through a goddamn mental breakdown, and her sister wasn’t helping. Her fingers gripped the sheets so hard that they hurt and she tried, unsuccessfully, to make herself smaller by curling herself up even tighter.

The door slammed again, making Narcissa wonder if Bellatrix had decided to just let her be. But then she heard the unmistakable sound of deep breaths and Narcissa’s attempted to quiet herself a little, trying to hear better. Was her sister trying to calm herself down? She never did that. She rolled over, sniffling slightly; to better see what was going on. She was surprised to see her sister standing there with her eyes closed, breathing deeply as her fingers continued to extend and contract, like she was debating on strangling her but trying to suppress the urge. Narcissa continued to lie there silently, wrapping her arms around herself to try to at least seem a little more put together than she was.

It took a while, but finally Bellatrix opened her eyes and looked at her. “Okay,” she started, clearly forcing herself to be calm. “I am trying, really fucking hard here, not to kill you. So I’m going to stand over here for a moment and try to make sense of the fact that you knew you could be pregnant, yet decided not to bloody share that with me for whatever God forsaken reason.”

“I was scared,” Narcissa whispered, looking at her sister warily. A tear slipped down her cheek. “It… it just happened. We weren’t thinking-”

“Clearly,” Bellatrix interrupted, voice dangerously low. Narcissa swallowed hard. “When the hell did this happen?”

“About… about four weeks ago…”

“Great,” Bellatrix responded dryly. “Just fucking… great. My little sister is pregnant at fifteen. Do you even realize what could happen if people found out? Do you even fucking get it??”

“Why the hell do you think I’m crying?!” Narcissa exclaimed, sniffling as she wiped violently at her tears. “I didn’t want this, I didn’t think… I had hoped that because it was only once…”

“IT ONLY TAKES ONCE!” Bellatrix shouted, making Narcissa choke back a sob and hold herself tighter. “It is Lucius’, right? Cause if it’s not-”

“Of course it is!” Narcissa exclaimed, offended that her sister thought she was that much of a harlot that she’d sleep with the first willing man. She really should know better. She was supposed to wait until she was married. Then again, she was supposed to do a lot of things in her life, like not sleep with her bloody sister, that she didn’t uphold.

She was an awful human being.

Bellatrix took a step towards her and Narcissa shrunk back, a little afraid. Bellatrix halted for a moment, taking note of her reaction. “Relax; I’m not going to hurt you. I want to, but I won’t. You said you wanted all the shit to stop with us, so I’m sodding trying, even though I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to destroy the goddamn living room later just to feel better.” Her right hand twitched, her wand hand, which didn’t exactly fill Narcissa with rainbows and butterflies. “I can’t believe you fucking did this.”

Narcissa looked away in shame.

Bellatrix crossed the remaining distance between them, ushering Narcissa to move over with her hands. Narcissa complied, though wearily. But when Bellatrix lay down next to her and took her into her arms, she began to sob uncontrollably; both at the gesture, and because of the situation.

“Shh, love…” Bellatrix hushed, holding her tight. She kissed the top of her head before burying her face in her hair. “It’ll be alright, I promise.”

There were some things Narcissa had come to expect from her sister; kindness was not among them. She expected for a revelation like this to tear them apart, but apparently Bellatrix took what she said to heart. She was trying to make their relationship better. Narcissa didn’t know why, perhaps her sister knew she couldn’t live without her, but it didn’t matter. Right now, this was what she needed. She needed the woman she loved to tell her it was going to be all right, even if it was a lie.

“Do you… hate… me…?” Narcissa asked through her sobs, her voice muffled from being buried in Bellatrix’s bosom. Her hands held tightly to Bellatrix’s robes, fearful of her answer.

“No,” Bellatrix told her softly. “I’m just really, really pissed off.” She let Narcissa cry on her, stroking her hair gently; trying to calm her. The two sisters were silent for a little while until Bellatrix promised her, “Tomorrow I’ll purchase a potion that will get rid of it; no one will have to know.”

Narcissa stiffened in her arms, looking up at her. The look on her face seemed to give Bellatrix some kind of silent response.

“What? You didn’t think you would be able to keep it, did you? You can’t have a child out of wedlock, Cissy; you’ll be ruined.”

“I… no, I know, I just… it’s…” still her baby, though. Narcissa knew she couldn’t keep it, but that didn’t change the fact that her child was growing inside of her right now. Her child. Something she’s supposed to love, take care of… not kill. The thought of destroying something so pure, so innocent, tore her to shreds inside and she buried her head in Bellatrix’s breasts again, sobbing.

Bellatrix sighed softly, brushing the hair away from Narcissa’s forehead. “You’ll have another,” she promised, “when it’s time. Okay? But you can’t… you can’t have this one. It wouldn’t be worth it, believe me.”

Narcissa knew that, but it didn’t make her feel any better.

It took awhile for Bellatrix to calm Narcissa down to a state where she could breathe without any trouble, but once she did she made quick work of dressing her; making her presentable for the party. She warned Narcissa to act as if nothing was wrong, because if she spoke with Lucius about what happened and someone overheard, it could be the end of both of them, even if they did get rid of the child.

The corset was uncomfortable and made it difficult for her to sit down without looking incredibly awkward, but seeing as nothing fit without it, it was necessary. She just wished they made it easier to breathe in these things, because as it stood, she was already nervous. If anything strenuous happened, she would probably pass out.

That would be terribly embarrassing.

They chose not to apparate due to Narcissa’s temperamental stomach and Rodolphus complained when he realized they were going to go there by broom; since apparently he wasn’t not only frugal, but impatient as well. Bellatrix told him to “shut his fucking mouth” and “think of someone other than himself for once,” which prompted them to bicker nearly the whole way there. Really, in all, it was not a fun trip.

They stopped their quarreling when they landed though; slipping into their façade so quickly it was like second nature. They were poised and tightlipped; arms linked together as Narcissa nervously pushed the doorbell. The house elf answered it, squeaking excitedly when he was met by Narcissa. “Lady Black has arrived!” it announced, scurrying away once Abraxas Malfoy came to the door to greet her.

Abraxas Malfoy had always been a frightening man, but he seemed even more so at the moment. He stood nearly six and a half feet tall, long blonde hair flowing down his back. He wore dress robes far past his time, yet instead of appearing silly it made him look far, far more intimidating than usual. His cane, though used primarily for walking due to the limp in his right leg, looked like it could double as a weapon and Narcissa gulped. He peered down at her, looking like he was judging her every move, every thought, every breath.

“Master Malfoy,” she greeted, her voice shaking slightly as she curtseyed in front of him politely. She blushed foolishly, hoping her shame didn’t show through.

“Narcissa,” he greeted with a gruff tone. He barely gave her a second glance before his eyes swept behind her, taking in Bellatrix and Rodolphus. “Master and Madame Lestrange, it’s… so good to see you.” It sounded forced and judgmental, but then again, such was the air in most elitist conversations. “Come in,” he offered, stepping aside to let them pass.

Narcissa practically scurried in, not wanting to be in his presence anymore than needed. When she entered the ballroom, she spotted Lucius immediately and made her way over to him. When he took sight of her he smiled wide, which made her heart beat nervously in her chest. She forced a smile in return after he had kissed her on the cheek. “You look lovely,” he told her. His eyes landed on the emerald necklace he had given her, brushing his hand across it, then over her shoulder. “Did I not say that would be beautiful on you?”

“It’s gorgeous, yes,” Narcissa replied, hoping she wasn’t fidgeting in nervousness as much as she thought she was. “Thank you, again. You’re very kind to me.” It was odd, being so forcefully formal to one another. It was also hard. Even the mere mention of Lucius’ kindness made Narcissa choke up slightly, feeling awful that she couldn’t tell him about their baby; feeling awful that she was going to have to kill it before even consulting with him.

Lucius seemed to take notice of her distress. “Are you alright?” he asked in a hushed whisper, taking Narcissa’s elbow lightly in his hand to guide her away from the other guests.

“Yes, of course,” she stuttered, forcing a smile. “I’m just… overwhelmed, is all.” She nervously fiddled with the engagement ring on her finger, twisting it back and forth to try to distract herself. She looked around, so she didn’t have to look at him. “There are so many people here…”

“Narcissa,” he prodded gently, knowing she was avoiding. “What is it?”

“There’s the husband-to-be!”

Both Lucius and Narcissa turned to see Bellatrix come up to them, arms outstretched like she was actually going to… Good lord, she actually did hug him. It was forced and awkward, but there it was in front of her eyes: her sister and her fiancée embracing. Rodolphus straggled along behind, looking quite amused at Bellatrix’s forced display of familial bonding.

“As Narcissa’s legal guardian, there are some things I’d like to discuss with you before the big day. Will you…?” Her tone didn’t exactly leave much choice in the matter and Lucius shot Narcissa a helpless look before he was led away into the hall by Bellatrix.

Narcissa moved to go after them, but was halted by Rodolphus. “I wouldn’t, if I were you,” he murmured, careful not to be overheard.

Narcissa shot him a scathing look. “You don’t understand-”

“I do, actually,” he responded, his eyes landing on her stomach. His lip turned up in distaste and Narcissa flushed in angry embarrassment.

“She told you?” she asked in a heated whisper, astounded.

“You know my secrets,” Rodolphus answered shortly. “I find it only fair that I know yours. Besides, it’s impossible to bury our family’s indiscretions unless we know about them. Be thankful I’m helping you.”

“Helping me?” Narcissa hissed, furious. “How? By humiliating me while my sister is off probably removing my fiancée’s bollocks?”

“Keep your voice down, you foolish girl,” Rodolphus whispered, looking around to make sure they hadn’t caught the attention of any guests. When he found they hadn’t, he turned back to her. “If you must know, Abraxas Malfoy has already asked what I think about you. He doesn’t waste any time, that man. He wanted to know if I thought you would make a good wife.”

Narcissa stared at him. “And you said…?”

“That you would make a wonderful wife, of course.” He turned away from her then and smirked, voice low, “But I do think that’s a load of rubbish. You’ll be as good as Bellatrix is; all façade on the outside, while behind closed doors you’ll be just as much of a filthy sinner.”

Narcissa wanted to punch him. She refrained, but only with intense difficulty. Rodolphus had always been so polite to her up until the night he found out Bellatrix’s sexual preference, but that had nothing to do with her! Well, nothing that he knew of, anyway. Besides, Narcissa did nothing but try to help him figure out a way to deal with his wife when she couldn’t be around. She didn’t understand why he was being such a complete and utter arse now.

“Best not call the kettle black, Rodolphus,” Narcissa replied shortly, making sure to keep her voice low. “You may just end up looking like an ignorant bastard.” She gave him a sidelong glance. “If you don’t already.”

Rodolphus merely chuckled at her insult, it did not faze him in the slightest. “There are different degrees of sin, Narcissa.”

“Look,” Narcissa started, getting fed up by his attitude. She leaned in closer, keeping her voice down. “Contrary to what you may believe, I am not my sister. I don’t know what you think I’ve done, but I can assure you it’s not enough to warrant this kind of attitude. I was trying to help you, Rodolphus.”

“I’m sure.”

“You know what? I don’t have time for this,” Narcissa whispered heatedly before she gave him a curt smile, turning around to find out where her sister and her fiancée went. She rounded the corner, making her way down the hall and checking in every room along the way. She stopped mid stride however when she noticed her sister exiting the bathroom, a dangerous look in her eye.

“Bella…?” Narcissa asked, fearful of what she did to Lucius.

“He’s in one piece,” she answered flatly before she brushed past her, not even sparing her another glance before she rejoined the guests in the ballroom. Narcissa blinked as she hesitated, not expecting that much of a dismissal. But she quickly kicked herself into gear and rushed into the bathroom, looking for her fiancée.

“Lucius??” He was rubbing his throat, looking a little pained. “Oh God, what did she do? Are you alright?”

“What the hell is going on, Narcissa?” Lucius asked accusingly. But he paused, moving for a moment to close the door behind them so they weren’t overheard. He rounded on her. “Your sister practically attacked me; spewing all sorts of threats like I had done something horrible to you. What the bloody hell is going on?!”

“I… it’s nothing, she’s just… like that,” Narcissa replied weakly. “I’m so sorry; let me look at that…” But Lucius pushed her hands away, not welcoming her care.

“You’re lying to me.”

Narcissa withdrew her hand, hurt that he would dismiss her. She looked down at the ground. “I swear, it’s nothing-”

“Swear on your sister’s life it’s nothing.”

Narcissa bit her bottom lip hard, looking away from him. She struggled to keep her emotions under control, which also meant she replied to him with nothing but silence.

“I knew you couldn’t do that,” Lucius replied, staring her down. “For the love of God, Narcissa; just tell me!”

“I-It’s nothing to worry about; the problem will cease to exist by tomorrow anyway, I swear. Just don’t… we can’t talk about it here, okay?” Narcissa begged softly. “But I’m taking care of it. You don’t need to be involved.” She wouldn’t look at him the entire time she spoke; apparently that in and of itself spoke volumes to Lucius.

He stared at her like… like she was something new; different.

“Is it…?” he asked, trailing off like he wasn’t sure if he should voice it out loud. Narcissa was thankful he didn’t. “Your sister told me to cover my cock, but I didn’t… I didn’t think that…” He took a step towards her, placing his hands on her arms delicately. “Narcissa?” he prodded gently.

“I can’t… I can’t say anything. If someone were to…” but she couldn’t finish her sentence. She got choked up and looked down at her shoes, trying desperately not to cry so as not to ruin her makeup. Lucius looked down at her sympathetically, putting his knuckle under her chin to encourage her to look up at him.

“Hey,” he prodded softly. “In a way this is a good thing, don’t you think? It proves we’re able to have… well, you know.” He didn’t say it either, knowing that even though there was a small chance of them being overhead inside this tiny bathroom, it was still a chance. “I know how much you’ve always wanted them. You should be happy.”

“Happy I’m about to destroy it?” Narcissa whispered, distress written all over her face. “I’ll never be happy about that, Lucius. I don’t know how I’m going to stand it…”

“Shh,” he whispered, cupping her cheek in his hand. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. “I know it’ll be difficult, but it’s for the best. You know that.” Narcissa did know that, but shook her head violently anyway. She choked back a sob and Lucius wrapped her up in his arms, quietly shushing her. “Come on, you have to calm down. We have guests to entertain. Please, for a couple hours, try to push it out of your mind.”

It was so easy for him to say: Push it out of your mind. He wasn’t the one that would have to look upon their dead child come tomorrow. He wasn’t the one that had to deal with the emotional impact this would have on her. She was forever going to mourn the loss of this child and yet Lucius could stand there and talk about it like it was… like it was a bloody test run. Like it’s life was of no importance in the long haul. But wasn’t every life important?

It was hard, it was so hard, putting on a brave face and making it through the rest of the evening. But Narcissa did as she was expected; she chatted up the other socialites, making sure to drop the hint to the right people that Lucius was interested in a Ministry position once he graduated. She laughed at the jokes that fell flat, gossiped with the women, and flattered the men. It was surprisingly less difficult than she originally anticipated. It was all so fake that it was like rehearsing lines from a script.

Narcissa upheld her dignity and honor, like a proper woman should. And then she cried herself to sleep, hoping that the events of tomorrow wouldn’t damage her forever.

GO TO PART TWENTY THREE...