Fanfiction || Amphierotic Bloodlines || Bellatrix/Narcissa || Part Four

[cuzimastripper]

Title: Amphierotic Bloodlines
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta(s): supershineygirl (chapter two), dolfynrider (chapter three & onwards)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17 (for future chapters)
Length Thus Far: 33,411 words
Main Pairing: Bellatrix/Narcissa
Sub Pairings: Narcissa/Lucius, Narcissa/OC, Bellatrix/OC, Bellatrix/Rodolphus
Summary: Growing up in the 1960s in a family that expected nothing less than perfection, anything less than such was deemed unfit for a young woman of their status and was punished severely. A house that was classified as 'noble' had dark secrets hidden within those walls, a fear that only the people within experienced. The confusion young girls have growing up was more than intensified in there: it bordered on practically unbearable. This is a story about growing up, about surviving abuse, and about finding salvation and love from anyone you can, even if it’s from the last person on earth you know you should ever hold a deep affection for.
Warning(s): Lesbian incest, graphic child abuse, dubcon, sex between minors, anorexia nervosa, first chapter is un-beta’d
A/N: For NaNoWriMo 2010. This story is entirely from Narcissa’s POV (though not in first person) and will only include up to her graduation from Hogwarts. I may do a sequel later to cover her adult years, but for now I think this is more than enough.
Other Parts: PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

A/N: So, originally I was posting a chapter once a week, just to make sure I'm always ahead and getting them out regularly for you guys. However, I've now written up to chapter 18 so I figured I can start putting them out a little faster xD I do have other stories to work on/finish however, so if updates go back to once a week, it's because I'm currently working on something else and don't want to get behind with this one.

CHAPTER SIX

It was three days before Christmas vacation and the common room was bustling with activity, everyone too excited for the holidays to even bother with schoolwork. Most of the teachers had given up on giving it anyway, either in the ‘good spirit of the holidays’ or because they knew it would be rather pointless at this time. The students were too busy bragging about where their parents were going to take them, or wondering what they would get under the tree this year.

Narcissa was one of the ones bragging about where they were going to go this year. Her parents sent her and her sister’s a letter not one week previously, letting them know that they were planning to spend the holiday in France. Narcissa had been to Scotland and Ireland, but never France, so she was very excited. Her mother always seemed to be less horrible when on holiday, so maybe they might have a decent Christmas for once.

Bellatrix and Andromeda didn’t seem to care all that much though. Andromeda was angry that she wouldn’t be able to see her friends and Bellatrix just didn’t seem enthused by the prospect of spending Christmas somewhere else.

That didn’t stop Narcissa from bragging though. She went on and on to her friend Margret, “And my Mum says there’s this fabulous castle we’re going to stay at that used to be Lord Baillargeon’s estate. You know, the wizard who found that vampire blood could be used in about fourteen different potions? Of course it’s been turned into a rather upscale hotel of sorts now, but some say it’s haunted by the damned spirits of the vampires he killed for his studies. No one really knows if it’s true though or if it’s just a bunch of crackpots making up stories, but either way-”

“Stop boasting, Narcissa,” Andromeda told her as she walked up, overhearing her conversation. “Nobody likes a bragger.” She flopped down onto the couch next to her and started picking at her nails. Narcissa narrowed her eyes at her, not approving of being interrupted. “Besides,” Andromeda drawled on. “When vampires die they don’t become ‘damned spirits’ that wander around. They’re just dead.”

“How would you know?” Narcissa asked, a snooty tone in her voice.

“I actually pay attention in school.”

“Whatever,” Narcissa said, rolling her eyes and turning back to Margret. “So are your parents taking you anywhere?”

“No,” Margret responded, huffing in jealousy. “Dad just got laid off at the Ministry so Christmas is going to be complete rubbish this year.”

Narcissa pretended to care, “Oh, that’s horrible.” Frankly she was too self-absorbed to think of anyone right now though. That was until Andromeda elbowed her in the ribs. “Ow! What?”

“Look,” she said, pointing across the common room at Bellatrix, who was looking extremely interested in what Rodolphus was telling her. “They’re actually talking.”

“And she’s not yelling at him,” Narcissa added, voice filled with bewilderment. Two weeks ago she saw them get into a heated argument outside the Great Hall. Bellatrix was still angry that they were engaged.

“Do you think she wants to get married to him now?” Andromeda asked her, like the very idea was preposterous.

“No, Bella hates marriage,” Narcissa said, but still watched the two of them curiously. While their physical behavior didn’t signify attraction in the least, it couldn’t be denied that they had reached some kind of mutual agreement or understanding. What was going on?

It was the next day that Bellatrix came to speak with her. Narcissa’s Charms class had been cancelled due to one idiotic student severely burning himself when trying to attempt a banishing charm. How, no one was sure, but her Professor let the rest of the students leave early while he took the boy down to the hospital wing.

So Narcissa went back up to her dormitory and lay on her stomach, idly flipping through her copy of Naut Fur You’s Holiday Shopping Guide, trying to find something for her sisters for Christmas. Their mother had given them a significant raise in their allowance from their trust funds this year, though probably only in part to her almost killing Bellatrix over the summer.

She looked up when she heard someone to come in, only to see Bellatrix already standing in front of her bed. She blinked in surprise.

“Guess what?” Bellatrix prodded, a smirk adorning her features. She very obviously had been feeling better lately and was almost, almost back to her old self. It made Narcissa wonder what had changed.

“What?” Narcissa asked, playing into her game as she closed her magazine, peering up at her.

Bellatrix smiled as she sat down on the bed next to her and said proudly, “We’re not going to France for the Holidays.”

“What?” Narcissa asked, sitting upright immediately. “What did you do?!” She had been looking forward to that!

“I sent mother and owl yesterday and told her I wanted to stay home for Christmas so I can get to know Rodolphus better,” Bellatrix said, still smirking like this whole grand plan had been worked out in her head, but Narcissa didn’t get it.

“So we’re all staying home? What the hell, Bella! I wanted to go!”

“No,” Bellatrix said, still smiling. “Me, you, and Andromeda are staying home. Mother and Father are still going.”

Narcissa blinked. Their parents had never left them alone before.

“I offered to watch the two of you for the Holidays while they go off and have some time alone,” Bellatrix told her, still with this shit-eating grin adorning her face. “I got the owl this morning; Mother said yes.”

“What?” Narcissa asked, astounded. “Two whole weeks without Mum? Are you serious?”

“Completely,” Bellatrix said, grinning. Then she waved her hand, as if dismissing her next statement. “You know Mum though; she said it’d be wonderful to get away from a bunch of ungrateful brats, then followed it up with how nice it is that I’m finally succumbing to her wishes, yada yada, whatever. The point is, we have two whole weeks without them.” She smirked wider. “Who do you love?” she prodded.

“You!” Narcissa exclaimed, practically jumping on as she enveloped her in a hug. “Oh my god, two weeks alone?”

“Well, not entirely alone,” Bellatrix said, rolling her eyes as they parted. “For Christmas Aunt Walburga is going to come over with our cousins, but other than that, yes. Mum says she trusts me.” Bellatrix cackled. “I don’t know what got slipped in her pumpkin juice this morning, but to hell with it. She’s probably just ecstatic that I said I wanted to spend time with Rodolphus, the dumb git.”

“Are you?” Narcissa asked, sitting cross-legged on her bed. “Going to spend time with him, I mean.”

“Said so, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but I thought you… hated him,” Narcissa said cautiously, a little confused. Bellatrix shrugged.

“I’ve rethought my priorities,” she said evasively.

“What does that mean?”

“Exactly what I said. Come on, Cissy. Who cares? Long as Mum ain’t pitching a bitch fit, it shouldn’t matter, right?” Bellatrix replied. “Just be excited I got us two weeks without them.”

Narcissa looked at her suspiciously. She could tell something was going on, but Bellatrix didn’t seem up to sharing. Whatever it was, it was clear it had nothing to do with her suddenly developing feelings for him. She didn’t have the same tone of voice she used to use when she talked about Gwendolyn. She gushed about her. The way she refers to Rodolphus, it’s almost like he’s a business partner.

But Narcissa let it slide, allowing the fact that they were gonna be alone for two whole weeks thoroughly excite her. “Two weeks,” she repeated wistfully. “Oh, this will be so much fun! OH! We can use the good china! I’ve always wanted to use those, they’re so pretty.”

Bellatrix blinked heavily at her, then busted out laughing. “We have the house to ourselves and the best ‘fun’ thing you can think of is that we can use the good china? You’re a riot, Cissy.”

“What?” Narcissa asked, pouting as Bellatrix openly mocked her. “What were you thinking of, then?”

“Me?” Bellatrix asked, smirking. She ran her fingers through Narcissa’s hair before grinning and ruffling it up. Narcissa frowned and smoothed out her hair while Bellatrix told her, “I was thinking about a party.”

Narcissa protested a lot after Bellatrix suggested that, knowing their mother and father were going to find out, but Andromeda sided with Bellatrix and suddenly it was two against one. Then again, even if she didn’t, Narcissa was sure Bellatrix would have one regardless.

Narcissa had never attended a party outside of the boring ones her parents held that were more like dinner parties than anything else. This? This was different though. Three days into their stay alone, Bellatrix had loud music pumping through the room, everyone was getting drunk or was already there, and there was just an unnatural amount of people making out all over her house.

Narcissa would complain about the disarray and lack of privacy her own house held, if not for the fact Lucius Malfoy had come. While she felt a little uncomfortable being around a bunch of older kids, seeing as most of the people that came where in Bellatrix’s year, she did at least have someone to talk to. Or, well, she did, until some tall redhead lured him away being all sexy and… positively infuriating. Narcissa shot daggers at her.

She wished some of her friends in her year had come, but the only one that was allowed to an unsupervised party was Margret, who was currently in the corner making out with a fourth year.

“Here, you look like you need it,” Bellatrix said, her words slurring a bit as she slumped against the wall next to Narcissa and handed her a bottle of firewhiskey. Narcissa turned up her nose.

“I am not drinking that.”

“Aw, come on. Live a little,” Bellatrix coaxed, nudging the bottle into her side and grinning in that irresistible way she does to make Narcissa do what she wants. “You don’t expect to have the courage to get Lucius to kiss you if you don’t drink, do you?”

Narcissa looked at her, taken aback. “I thought you didn’t want me near him.”

“Well maybe I just want to get you drunk for other reasons, and merely pretending that’s the reason why,” Bellatrix stated bluntly. Narcissa wasn’t sure if she understood her right, Bellatrix must be very drunk after all, either that or not understanding what she just implied, but the brunette didn’t give her a chance to ponder it. “Come on, just a taste.”

Narcissa looked at the bottle warily. “Mum’s gonna kill you when she finds out you took her liquor. You know how she loves it.” A little too much sometimes.

“Please, she has so much that she’ll hardly notice it’s gone,” Bellatrix said. Then she looked at her pointedly. “So drink up, Princess.” She held the bottle in front of her face. Clearly she wasn’t about to take no for an answer.

Narcissa made a face, but hesitantly reached for the bottle. She had never tasted liquor before and based on how everyone acted on it, she’d rather not act a fool, thank you. But Bellatrix was persisting and that stupid redheaded girl was laughing obnoxiously loud at something Lucius just said so she put it to her lips, tipped it back, and took a swig.

Then she started coughing.

Bellatrix laughed. “There we go! Good girl, Cissy.”

It felt like it was burning her all the way down her esophagus. She made a face and exclaimed, “Ugh, this is disgusting!”

“You’ll get used to it,” Bellatrix told her with a grin. “Now come on, drink up. You want your courage, don’t you?” she gave her a playful smile before walking away, leaving Narcissa with the bottle. She looked down at it apprehensively.

She didn’t want to get sloshed, but being one of the only sober people at the party was quickly becoming a bore. Even Andromeda, who has the tendency to suck the fun out of everything sometimes, was dancing quite lewdly with another Slytherin boy. So she tipped the bottle to her lips again, devouring another large gulp.

It didn’t take much for her to get drunk, nor to get the courage she needed. Feeling like she could conquer anything, she strode right up to Lucius and that annoying redhead, interrupting their conversation. “Excuse me,” she said to the girl, shooting her the dirtiest look before turning to face Lucius. “I’d like to dance,” she told him matter-of-factly. Then she faltered a little as she felt she should clarify. “With… you. Obviously.” She shifted between her feet, now feeling like she maybe should have went about that with a little more tact.

But Lucius seemed amused nonetheless and held out his hand to her. “After you, my Lady,” he said, that stunning smile of his sending a shiver through Narcissa’s body. She bit her lip and suppressed a grin, secretly loving how much a gentlemen he could be. Sometimes she was sure it was all just some kind of elaborate act, mainly because of what Bellatrix put in her mind about it, but it was nice to be talked to like she was worth something for once regardless.

Narcissa had never danced before outside of those ball dancing classes her mother forced them all to take when they were little, so she should have probably thought about that before attempting it. She probably looked like a complete idiot, but she was intoxicated so she found it didn’t matter much if she did or didn’t. It was a nice feeling actually; to not care for once.

Lucius was either too drunk as well to notice her horrendous attempt at dancing, or didn’t care. He pulled her closer to her and all of a sudden the world melted around them. She smiled wide as she put her arms around his neck, tossing her hair in an attempt to look sexy which realistically probably looked rather awkward, but it was fun. It was a lot of fun. She decided parties aren’t so bad after all.

After the dancing tired her out, she grabbed Lucius’ hand, pulling him to the couch to sit down. She had to shove some passed out girl’s legs out of the way to do so, and only afterwards noticed it was Andromeda. She giggled a little at the state of her sister, but it got caught in her throat once she felt Lucius’ hand on her leg. She swallowed and looked back over to him.

He was looking at her in the same way Bellatrix did before she almost kissed her that one night, when she told her she was the one who loved her first. She knew what that look was, only with Lucius it didn’t come with a copious amount of social stipulations. Then she felt his hand touch her face and it made her eyes flutter closed for a moment.

“Do you know how beautiful you are, Narcissa?” he asked, voice barely audible over the loud music. She flushed a little, opening her eyes to look at him. She bit her bottom lip softly, leaning into his touch.

“You’re not so bad to look at yourself,” she told him honestly. She could feel some people looking at them, but she didn’t care. In that moment, all she could see was him.

His thumb ran across her bottom lip and her heart leapt into her throat. She felt her breathing get a bit shallow as she realized that it was possible that at any moment he could kiss her. And when he finally started to lean in slowly, she felt herself reciprocating automatically. It felt like time was moving at half speed, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

His lips touched hers softly and she immediately parted her own, feeling like she was drowning in him. Well, at least for a second, because suddenly a pillow hit them both square in the head and they wrenched apart.

Narcissa, angry, looked around to see the culprit. She shouldn’t have been as surprised as she was to see Bellatrix sitting across from them in the arm chair, smirking. “Oops?” she offered.

“Bella!” Narcissa shouted. “Piss off!”

Bellatrix chuckled as she got up, grabbing a bottle of vodka and taking a swig. She looked rather unsteady on her feet. “Not a chance,” she told her before coming over and taking the back of Narcissa’s head in her hand and pulling her to her so she could kiss her on the forehead almost violently. Then she laughed as she wandered off, but not very far away. She was still watching them.

Lucius looked annoyed as well. “You’re sister doesn’t approve of me.”

“No, not at all,” Narcissa replied, then looked at him apologetically. That was a horrible ending to their first kiss. She was going to tear Bellatrix a new one when this party ended.

Lucius only smirked though, leaning his elbow on the back of the couch as he looked at her. “Do you care?” he asked.

Narcissa couldn’t help but smirk a little. “Not in the slightest.”

“Then maybe we could continue this when we’re away from your sister’s prying eyes,” he prodded. Narcissa blushed slightly as she smiled.

“I would like that.”

The party did end soon after that. Bellatrix ushered all of them out, having to practically yell at people to get them to leave. Narcissa ran upstairs, slamming her door hard to make sure Bellatrix heard it. She was still angry with her. It was a good twenty minutes later that Bellatrix came up, bursting through her door without a knock or request. She still had a bottle of liquor in her hand.

Narcissa just glared at her as she watched her sister close her door. “Why did you do that?”

Bellatrix chuckled, taking another swig as she made her way over to Narcissa. She then proceeded to practically fall on the bed next to Narcissa. “You know why,” she slurred. “Fucking hate that sodding tosser.”

“It doesn’t matter if you hate him or not, I like him,” Narcissa said before snatching the liquor bottle out of Bellatrix’s hand. “And don’t you think you’ve had enough?” But then she took a swig of the clear liquid as well, feeling it burn its way down her throat.

Bellatrix laughed. “Don’t you? Don’t get on to me, I saw you - you could barely walk up the stairs.”

That was true. Narcissa’s head felt like it was swimming, but it felt wonderful. The world was fuzzy but yet in so many ways, so much clearer; as was the reason why Bellatrix didn’t want her with Lucius. She wanted her to herself. And while it was something Narcissa had recently stopped denying she would like to explore maybe a tiny bit further, merely for curiosity and practice’s sake, she also was well aware that they shouldn’t be doing things like that at all. And Bellatrix, she was so hot and cold on the matter that it was hard to tell which way she was facing sometimes.

But Narcissa stopped obsessing over it because it wasn’t ever doing her any favors. Besides, she was very interested in Lucius and he didn’t come with as much confusion. Some of course - a lot if she was to be honest - but Bellatrix definitely came with more.

“I’m fine,” Narcissa stressed, taking another swig. It went down the wrong pipe though and she started choking and coughing.

“Christ, take it easy,” Bellatrix said, laughing as she smacked her on the back. Narcissa coughed a few times, a look of disgust on her face as she pushed the bottle towards Bellatrix. “Okay, I’m done. I’m very much done.”

Bellatrix smirked and took the bottle, but instead of drinking it she reached over Narcissa to put it on her bedside table, nearly knocking her sister back in the process. Narcissa didn’t care though; she suddenly realized how tired she was getting so she laid on her bed, kicking off her shoes. Bellatrix collapsed next to her, looking up at the ceiling before squinting and blinking like it was painful. “Shit, everything’s spinning,” she mumbled, shielding her eyes as she too kicked off her shoes. They landed heavily on the ground.

Narcissa was barely listening though; she was just trying to get out of her tights. They all of sudden felt like they were suffocating her, but she was too intoxicated to even get them off properly, and just ended up flailing her legs in a huff. Bellatrix rolled over to look at her through one eye. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m still mad at you, don’t talk to me,” Narcissa sniped, sitting up to try to force her tights down the rest of her legs. When she finally got them off she threw them across the room in annoyance before flopping back down on her pillow. Then she turned to look at her sister. “What are you still doing here?” she asked.

Bellatrix was laying on her side with her eyes closed, snuggled into Narcissa’s pillow. “I’m sleeping here,” she mumbled. “Too drunk to get up.”

“Bullshit,” Narcissa huffed, pushing her a little with her hand. “You’re just trying to bother me.”

Bellatrix opened one eye and smirked at her language. Narcissa didn’t look amused. “Come on, Bella. I’m tired. If you stay you’re just going to complain about Lucius and how he’s bad for me and all this other sodding rubbish just because you’re just jealous.”

“You swear a lot when you’re drunk, you know,” Bellatrix said with a chuckle, completely disregarding everything Narcissa said before rolling over and switching off the light. Narcissa just stared at her, frustrated that apparently what she wants means nothing, but is also aware that she should probably know better by now anyway. Besides, she was too drunk to argue.

“Well I’m still mad at you,” Narcissa said in a huff as she got under her covers, shoving Bellatrix lightly once more for good measure as she tried to get under the covers too.

Bellatrix made a grumpy sound a complaint and shoved her back, which then turned into an all out drunken shoving match for a good thirty seconds until Bellatrix gave up, sounding tired and said, “Sod it. Just go to bed, Cissy.”

Narcissa made another huff of annoyance for good measure before she lay on her side, closing her eyes. But trying to fall asleep drunk felt really weird, and every time she closed her eyes it felt like she was spinning. “Bellaaaa…” she complained, opening her eyes. “I feel dizzy when I try to sleep.”

“Don’t care,” Bellatrix mumbled.

“Bellaaaaaaa…” Narcissa continued to whine, no longer liking being drunk. “Fix it!”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Bellatrix mumbled sleepily, sounding annoyed. But Narcissa rolled over really close to her, her face next to hers to intentionally bother her so she can’t sleep either. Bellatrix, sensing Narcissa in her personal space, opened her eyes and glared at her. “What do you expect me to do? Shove my fingers down your throat so you can throw up? No, thank you.”

“No, I’m not sick,” Narcissa replied. “Just… dizzy.” She pouted.

“Come here,” Bellatrix said, sighing in reluctance as she held out her arms to her. Narcissa crawled into them, laying half on top of her with her leg between hers, head nestled into her neck.

“What is this supposed to do?” she mumbled against her skin. She was still dizzy.

“I don’t know, but now you’re close enough that I can pull your hair if you start getting mouthy again,” Bellatrix said before yawning and closing her eyes. Narcissa slapped her stomach and Bellatrix’s eyes popped open. “Ow,” she stressed, glaring.

“You were the one who wanted to get me drunk in the first place, now you have to deal with it,” Narcissa told her before rubbing the skin on Bellatrix’s stomach where she slapped. Her shirt was riding up a little.

“Mmmm… yeah I did,” Bellatrix affirmed sleepily, chuckling like she was in on a private joke. Narcissa didn’t get it at all.

She sighed, staring off into the blackness as she continued to absentmindedly stroke the skin on Bellatrix’s stomach. “Why?” she asked softly, though her stomach got a little heavier as she realized she probably already knew the answer.

“Why what?” Bellatrix asked, sounding a little annoyed that she was waking up more instead of falling asleep.

“Why did you want to get me drunk?”

Bellatrix smirked before turning her head so that it was a mere inch from her sisters. She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair, making Narcissa close her eyes instinctively and lean into the touch. “To lower your inhibitions,” Bellatrix told her in a whisper. “Sometimes you’re so tightly wound that I’m afraid you’re going to pop.”

“I am not,” Narcissa protested softly, but was barely paying attention to the conversation. The alcohol in her blood was intensifying Bellatrix’s touch and it made her fit her body against hers more firmly before laying her head down directly next to Bellatrix’s. They were facing each other, looking into each other’s eyes as Bellatrix continued to softly run her fingers through Narcissa’s long blonde locks. Silence washed between them for a moment.

The only thing Narcissa could hear was the pounding of her heart, which seemed to grow louder each passing second. She was sure Bellatrix could hear it. The way her sister was looking at her made butterflies form in the pit of her stomach and allowed her breathing to become noticeably shallower. She realized in that moment that she would give anything for Bellatrix to just give in and kiss her. They were drunk, it shouldn’t matter.

Bellatrix, possibly reading her thoughts, dragged her fingertips down Narcissa’s cheek softly as she looked at her lips. “Do you want me to kiss you, Cissy?” she asked softly, her voice a breathy whisper.

Narcissa’s heart leapt in her throat but the courage the liquor gave her allowed her to nod and whisper, “Yes...” She didn’t even blush when she admitted that. It was like they were in a different world. An intoxicated one, but still very different.

Bellatrix bit her bottom lip for a moment before searching her eyes as if she was looking for an answer to the contrary. But she found none; only a pure need that Narcissa wouldn’t be able to explain even if she tried. She needed Bellatrix to consume her in that moment.

Then suddenly her sister’s lips were on hers, kissing her soft; tentatively. It made the blood in Narcissa’s veins run hot with fire and her hairs stand on end as she parted her lips, allowing Bellatrix in for a taste. The brunette groaned softly at the feel of Narcissa’s tongue against hers and she slowly encouraged Narcissa to roll over and lay on her back so she could get on top of her. Narcissa didn’t mind, she was too busy feeling like the world could crumble around them and she wouldn’t care in the slightest.

Bellatrix hovered over her as she kissed her, slipping her leg between hers. Narcissa, for the first time, allowed her hands to wander, finding herself able to touch all the curves of her sister she had only wished to be able to explore. There was no guilt about what they were doing, at least, not in that moment. It just felt too good to analyze.

Bellatrix broke the kiss for a second, looking down at the small girl beneath her. Narcissa knew her cheeks were flushed and her breathing had picked up significantly. She worried it would scare Bellatrix, knowing that she was making her become aroused and so she froze, waiting.

Then suddenly Bellatrix’s thigh put pressure between Narcissa’s legs and she squeaked in surprise, “Oh!” before her sister placed her lips on her neck, kissing her there instead. “Oh,” she repeated, a breathy whimper of surprise and satisfaction as she relaxed, “I like that…”

“Yeah?” Bellatrix breathed in her ear, making goose bumps appear on Narcissa’s skin as she tried to suppress a shiver. Then her tongue traced her ear, making Narcissa squeak again in surprise as she grasped onto Bellatrix’s shirt. She didn’t know people even did this kind of stuff, but then again, she wasn’t exactly well versed in the area of foreplay.

Bellatrix continued to kiss her neck, down her shoulder, up to her ear and back again before leaning up to capture Narcissa’s lips in another kiss, this time much more heated than the last. Bellatrix was rocking against her slowly, which made Narcissa do the same as her sister panted into her mouth between kisses. “Jesus, Cissy,” she breathed as her hand slid down Narcissa’s stomach. “I’ve thought about fucking you for the longest time.”

That one single sentence excited and terrified Narcissa at the same time. Part of her wanted to, so badly, but another part. “Bella… I…” she started, not knowing how to say it.

“Shhh,” Bellatrix hushed before kissing her lightly on the lips. “I only said I wanted to, not that I was going to.” Narcissa, feeling a lot less pressured, nodded her head before closing her eyes, leaning up, capturing Bellatrix’s lips again, and tangling her fingers through her hair.

After some time they broke again, both flushed and out of breath. Bellatrix’s eyes caught hers for a moment before she slowly slid the strap of Narcissa’s dress off her shoulder, kissing her exposed flesh. Narcissa closed her eyes and sighed, enjoying the feel of her sister’s lips on her skin. “What did you think about?” she asked softly as Bellatrix kissed her, needing to know.

Bellatrix stopped for a moment and looked up at her. “Specifically?”

“Yeah,” Narcissa breathed. She didn’t know much about sex and she was curious. Bellatrix smiled, pulling her strap down further, exposing the top of Narcissa’s breast before she lightly kissed it, testing the waters. Narcissa didn’t complain so she kissed it again, dragging her tongue over the swell of her breast.

“I thought about kissing you in other places…” she admitted before pulling down Narcissa’s dress a little further, exposing her nipple to the cool air in the room. Narcissa sucked in a sharp breath as Bellatrix’s fingertips brushed over it. “Like here,” she breathed, watching it harden in front of her eyes. She bit her lower lip as her hand trailed down Narcissa’s stomach, then up her dress. She brushed her fingers over Narcissa’s underwear, her voice thick with desire now, “And here.”

Narcissa was breathing so heavily she wasn’t sure if she was turned on or about to have a panic attack. Maybe both. “Down there?” she finally managed to squeak. She definitely had never heard of that either.

Bellatrix leaned her forehead against hers, closing her eyes as her own labored breathing tickled Narcissa’s lips. “It’s all I think about sometimes,” she admits, though it sounds like it’s painful to do so. “Sometimes I can barely stand it. I just want to do it, even if you don’t want me to. I want to take you and have you be mine forever, even if you don’t want to be. I…” she trailed off, sounding like she hated herself. “I’m sorry,” she breathed before rolling off of her and lying on the bed, facing away from her.

Narcissa took a much needed breath after that admission. It’s not every day your sister admits to wanting to rape you sometimes. She didn’t know how to feel about that. She knew by all sane reason she should be scared of that, but she wasn’t. Maybe she was too naïve to really understand what it meant, or maybe she just didn’t want to upset the relationship the two of them had by thinking about the bad stuff, or believing Bellatrix would really do it.

She lay there for a long time before fixing her dress, pulling it up so she covered herself and crawling over to her sister cautiously. She lay against her back, putting an arm around her stomach, holding her. “Sometimes I think about stuff like that too,” she admitted in a whisper. “Maybe not like you, but sometimes I just want to kiss you, even if you don’t want me to.”

“That’s different,” Bellatrix mumbled.

“I know.”

“I’m turning into a monster,” she told her, her hand coming up to cover the one Narcissa had on her stomach. Her voice was self-loathing and distressed. “What if I can’t stop myself one day? What if I do that to you?”

Narcissa was silent for a long time, trying to understand the disease Bellatrix seemed to be struggling with, because it had to be a disease, right? But she wasn’t even sure what it was, just that it was beginning to change her. There was something in Bellatrix’s head that was eating away at everything good and right inside of her. “What if I let you?” she asked finally.

“You can’t let me rape you, Narcissa,” Bellatrix said like she was being foolish. “That defeats the purpose.”

“No,” Narcissa said, her heart pounding in her chest as she started to make promises she didn’t know she could keep. “What if I let you… have sex with me?”

That made Bellatrix turn to face her. She stared at her like she had gone mental. “You don’t want to have sex until marriage.”

Narcissa swallowed, knowing that’s true. “But… it’s not really sex if we do it, right? I mean, you don’t have a…”

“Penis?” Bellatrix offered, chuckling a little at Narcissa’s reluctance to say the word. It cracked the tension for a moment and Narcissa blushed.

“Yeah.”

Bellatrix let out a breath, looking into Narcissa’s eyes. She touched her face, dragging her fingertips down her cheek lightly. “You’re perfect, do you know that?” Narcissa looked embarrassed and said nothing. Then Bellatrix sighed. “But I can’t do that to you. I won’t screw you up that badly.”

“What if I want you to?”

“You don’t,” Bellatrix told her, giving her a sad smile. “You’re only trying to appease me. You always are. Just let me try to do something for you for once.”

“Like letting me date Lucius?” Narcissa asked hopefully. It was the first thing that flew to her mind when her sister offered to do something for her. It was what she really wanted; her sister’s blessing. But Bellatrix only snorted.

“Not bloody likely.”

“But-”

“Cissy,” Bellatrix cut her off. “Can we not talk about that right now? Let’s just… let’s get some sleep. Okay?” She tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her sister’s ear. Narcissa nodded. She was right; now was not the time.

They looked at each other for awhile longer before Narcissa leaned forward, kissing Bellatrix softly. When they finally broke she whispered, “Goodnight, Bellatrix,” before snuggling into her and trying to fall asleep, worried that Bellatrix’s sanity would only continue to deteriorate, and what that would mean for both of them.

CHAPTER SEVEN

When Narcissa awoke the next morning, Bellatrix was already gone from her room. She sat up in her bed, wincing at the splitting headache that ripped mercilessly through her head. She grasped the side of her head, praying that she didn’t have a brain tumor or something equally as horrendous. Her whole body ached and it felt like a herd of hippogriffs danced on her during the night. To say it wasn’t pleasant was an understatement.

Is this what happened after one drank? If so, she decided she definitely didn’t want to do it again.

While drinking got her closer to both Lucius and Bellatrix (in the same night, which made her feel like a bit of harlot), she had residual embarrassment from it. As she crawled out of bed and started to get dressed for the day, she tried to remember the events from the night. Unfortunately - now that she was sober - she saw them in much better clarity than from when she was drunk.

She remembered slurring when she talked to Lucius, demanding that he danced with her. She remembered not being able to dance, thus making a fool of herself. She remembered kissing him, and while that wasn’t unpleasant, it was a bit too forward for a lady of her standard. There should have been wooing on his part, but all Narcissa did was practically fall over herself around him.

And then there was Bellatrix.

It made her blush a deep crimson, thinking about the things they did in her bed last night. That also was a bit too forward for both of them. Then again, Bellatrix isn’t exactly the picture of chastity. Narcissa felt conflicted over how to feel about it, realizing how she should feel and how she wants to feel are two separate things. In one way it made her feel dirty, to realize she did those things with her own flesh and blood, and yet in some odd way she liked the feeling of being dirty. It was like she was denying everything her parents stood for and it felt good.

She was worried about how Bellatrix would take it though. They were both drunk, and Bellatrix was always so back and forth on the matter. She couldn’t take back what she said last night though, even if she wanted to. It was out there and Narcissa knew what she wanted now, even if Bellatrix was trying to fight it. It made Narcissa wonder why she too didn’t try to fight it like she does, but maybe she was too young still to properly understand what it all meant. She would’ve liked to think then that she did, but she was such a foolish child. To her it was innocent experimentation, not realizing at the time that to Bellatrix it was so much more.

When she made her way down the stairs, she saw Bellatrix putting on her long overcoat. Her eyebrows knitted together, confused. “Leaving?” she asked.

Bellatrix turned to look at her, surprised to hear her voice. They made eye contact for only a moment before Bellatrix broke it, looking away as she fixed her coat. “I thought you’d still be asleep.”

“I woke up,” Narcissa told her, stating the obvious. She leaned against the hallway wall and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Where are you going?”

“To see Rodolphus,” came Andromeda’s singsong voice as she walked into the hall from the parlor. She gave Bellatrix a look like she was mocking her that Bellatrix glared at. But she ignored it and said instead, “I can’t find the potion, where did you put the damned thing?”

“On the kitchen counter, you flake,” Bellatrix told her. “I told you that already.” Andromeda looked at her like her words were poison, but said nothing. Something was going on with them, but Narcissa’s head hurt too much to analyze it at that moment.

“What potion?” Narcissa asked.

“Cures hangovers,” Andromeda told her, making a point to ignore Bellatrix. She winced a little before she turned and left to go to the kitchen, feeling the effects of her own post-drinking experience. Narcissa looked confused.

“What’s a hangover?”

Bellatrix looked amused. “Do you have a headache?” Narcissa nodded. “Does your whole body hurt and you feel like you want to die?” Narcissa paused, then nodded again. Bellatrix chuckled, “That’s a hangover, dear. It happens when you drink too much.”

“Oh.” Narcissa paused. She’d have to drink some of that in a moment, but right now she had more important curiosities to indulge. “Why are you going to see Rodolphus?”

“Told Mum I would, didn’t I?” Bellatrix answered as she made her way into the parlor, over to the fireplace. She still wouldn’t look her in the eye and it was upsetting Narcissa because she knew she was acting odd because of last night. This is beginning to become repetitive.

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“What?” Bellatrix asked, laughing a little like she was being absurd as she grabbed the floo powder off the mantel. She looked over at her briefly. “I am looking at you, Cissy. What are you on about?”

“Is this because of last night? Because it-” but she didn’t get a chance to finish because suddenly Bellatrix’s hand was over her mouth, her other hand squeezing her forearm tightly to accent her point.

“Shut up,” she hissed. “Are you daft? Andy’s in the next room, you bloody twit. We are not going to talk about this right now.” She let her go and Narcissa frowned at being practically manhandled by her sister, glaring at her.

“Why do you even have your coat anyway if you’re going by floo powder?” Narcissa asked in a bratty tone. “You won’t be going outside.”

“What is this, twenty questions? Piss off, Narcissa,” Bellatrix said as she got into the fireplace and grabbed a handful of powder before shoving the bag at Narcissa. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t answer to you.”

But before Narcissa could retort, Bellatrix held up her hand and said, “The Lestrange’s.” She dropped the powder into the fireplace and it erupted in green flames, engulfing her. Narcissa shielded her eyes from the glare for a moment and when she put it down her sister was gone. She huffed, feeling hurt.

It was nightfall when Bellatrix returned. Narcissa and Andromeda were in the parlor, reluctantly doing their Christmas break homework that their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher gave them. Apparently the holidays meant nothing to him because each year got some while the rest of the teachers just told them to have a happy Christmas. It was frustrating.

But they both jumped when the fireplace erupted in green flames suddenly, Bellatrix stepping from them. Andromeda looked at her, annoyed that she was practically blinded by her entrance. “A little warning would have been nice,” she stated.

“What, did you expect me to send an owl?” Bellatrix asked in an obnoxious tone as she brushed the soot off of her clothes. Then she looked up at them, noticing what they were doing. “Are you doing homework?” she asked, like the very idea was ridiculous.

“Well we were assigned it,” Andromeda retorted, looking at her like her very presence was suddenly an annoyance. “I’m sure you have some too.”

Bellatrix waved her hand, as if dismissing at as unimportant. “I have better things to do with my time,” was all she said before she walked past them and up the stairs to her bedroom. Narcissa blinked and stood up, wondering what Bellatrix was talking about.

“Where are you going?” Andromeda asked, looking at her.

“To see Bella,” Narcissa stated, like it was obvious. “Don’t you want to know what happened with Rodolphus?”

Andromeda rolled her eyes. “I couldn’t care less, actually.”

“Why are you angry with her?” Narcissa asked, suddenly feeling like she was missing something.

Andromeda looked up at her, then back down at her studies. “It’s nothing,” she mumbled, as if she didn’t want to bring it up. Narcissa stared at her for a moment, then realized she’d probably get more out of Bellatrix anyway. So she turned and left, heading for her sister’s room.

She didn’t bother knocking, since she was still residually annoyed at how Bellatrix treated her this morning. So she strode right in, seeing Bellatrix sitting cross-legged on her bed. She looked up at her, annoyed. “There’s this thing called knocking, Narcissa. Maybe you should try it,” she told her dryly.

“There’s this thing called niceness, Bellatrix. Maybe you should try it,” Narcissa retorted. Bellatrix raised her eyebrows, amused. Narcissa however, didn’t look it in the slightest.

“Fine, Little-Miss-Miniature-Attitude; come in,” Bellatrix said, smirking. Narcissa rolled her eyes, but closed the door behind her, walking over to her bed and sitting on the edge of it. “How may I help you?” Bellatrix asked, poking fun at her wanting her to be nice.

“Shut up,” Narcissa said, rolling her eyes. “I just want to know what happened.”

“With what?”

“With… everything,” Narcissa said, faltering a little as she realized she had many questions. “About what happened with Rodolphus, about why Andromeda’s angry with you, and… other things.” Her eyes landed on the bedspread, suddenly feeling uncomfortable about asking about last night. Thankfully, or unthankfully, Narcissa wasn’t sure, Bellatrix ignored that last part.

“I went to Rodolphus’ to check out an… opportunity I was presented with,” Bellatrix told her carefully. Narcissa looked confused. “And Andromeda is absolutely none of your business,” she finished. Narcissa narrowed her eyes.

“You are both my sisters, so I think it is.”

“Well then you’d be wrong, wouldn’t you?” Bellatrix retorted. She shook her head. “Forget about her, it’s unimportant at the moment.”

Narcissa was still curious, but figured she wasn’t about to get anywhere with that right now. So she shifted to lie on her stomach on the bed, propping her head up with one arm; a sign she wasn’t about to go anywhere anytime soon. “So what opportunity?” she asked.

“It’s nothing.”

“Bella!”

“Why do you feel like you need to know every aspect of my life all of a sudden?” Bellatrix asked, a little irritated.

“Because you’re my sister and I care,” Narcissa told her. Bellatrix looked at her skeptically, knowing she’s just being nosey, but Narcissa gave her a toothy grin of innocence in response. Bellatrix smirked and shook her head.

“Look, it’s nothing you need to be concerned about at the moment, alright?”

“No, not alright!” Narcissa said, sitting up so she could face her. She looked at her pleadingly, knowing it had to be something big if Bellatrix was hiding it. She grasped her hands in hers, waving them up and down a little in her eagerness. “Come on, tell me. Is it to do with the wedding?”

Bellatrix scoffed. “Hardly. Do I look like the type to fuss over a silly thing like that? I thought you knew me better, Cissy.”

“Well then if it’s not that, then what is it?”

Bellatrix looked at her pleading and eager expression and sighed a little. Narcissa smiled, knowing she was getting to her. “Alright,” Bellatrix said, but her expression was serious. “But if I tell you this than you mustn’t breathe a word of this to anyone. Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Narcissa said, her curiosity feeling like it was about to erupt.

Bellatrix hesitated for a moment, but Narcissa knew she was just bursting to tell her regardless. She motioned her closer with a gesture of her finger and Narcissa leaned in automatically. Bellatrix smiled a little as she whispered, “I am now part of an elite group that will one day, once again, make the pureblood race supreme.”

Narcissa scoffed, thinking she was having a go. “Come off it.”

“I’m serious!” Bellatrix told her, glee in her voice. “Oh, Cissy. Can you just imagine? Finally being treated like royalty again? You know how father talks about how it was like when his parents were growing up; can’t you just imagine having that be possible again? For being pureblood to actually mean something again?”

Narcissa blinked, having trouble wrapping her head around what Bellatrix was saying. She still had the feeling Bellatrix was just joshing her. “It… does mean something, doesn’t it?” she asked, confused. Her mother always made such a fuss over how it was important.

“Not like how it used to, and you know it. You’ve heard the stories. We have the money still, yes, but our status has been greatly diminished in society. No one regards us as royalty anymore. We go to school with mudbloods and the like right now; do you really think we should have to do that?”

“Well… no,” Narcissa said, but then shook her head. “But Hogwarts has been around for decades. Purebloods have always had to share the school.” She wasn’t understanding what her sister was getting at.

“One day we won’t have to,” Bellatrix told her, smiling. “Our children, our children’s children? They’ll be treated as we were meant to.”

“But how is the possible? Hogwarts won’t change. Will your group build a new school?”

Bellatrix laughed. “Oh, Cissy. You’ll understand one day,” she told her evasively.

Narcissa was still stuck on the ‘elite group’ part though, and was in disbelief about how much power Bellatrix thought it had. “So am I to understand Rodolphus created this group? How are a group of schoolchildren about to change the world?”

“No, Rodolphus didn’t start it,” Bellatrix explained. “His father put us onto it though; he’s been a part of a group called ‘The Knights of Walpurgis’ for years, started by a great man named…” she paused, as if the name evoked deep meaning for her, “Lord Voldemort.”

“Who?” Narcissa asked. She had never heard of this man. “And what kind of name is ‘Voldemort’?” It sounded silly, if you asked her.

“Bite your tongue,” Bellatrix snapped, making Narcissa shut her mouth quickly. “He’s… oh god, Cissy, I wish you could have heard him speak,” she gushed. “He’s simply phenomenal. Such passion, such ambition. It’s inspiring.”

Narcissa frowned. She’d never seen her look that way when talking about a man, let alone a man she only just met. “Bella, I don’t know if this is such a good idea. I mean, I understand pureblood values and the importance of them, but you only just joined this group and already you seem entirely wrapped up in it.”

“Don’t you want me to have a purpose in my life, Narcissa? This is it.”

“Your purpose is to marry Rodolphus and bear his children! We’re women, Bellatrix. We’re not meant for anything more.”

“Your lack of ambition sickens me sometimes,” Bellatrix told her, curling up her lip at her. “Is that all you want to be, Cissy? A trophy wife and an incubator?”

Narcissa flushed in anger. “What’s so wrong with that?”

“It’s completely last century, that’s what wrong with it!” Bellatrix exclaimed. “You’re more than that, Narcissa. We both are. We could be great, you and me.” She looked at her, emotion in her eyes that struck Narcissa momentarily mute. “I wish you could understand, but I can’t explain it all. But the world he talks about is something I would be so proud to help build. And… I wish that when you’re the proper age, you would help me, us, to build it.”

Narcissa looked at her for a long time, silent. Finally she told her. “I don’t know, Bella. It worries me that you told me to tell no one about this, when it’s something that sounds like Mother and Father would get behind. What aren’t you telling me?”

Bellatrix sighed, shifting away from her to lean against her headboard, knees to her chest. “It’s nothing that you have to worry about right now, so forget it.”

“I won’t!” Narcissa exclaimed. “Bellatrix, what have you really gotten yourself into?”

“Something I’m proud to be a part of, and that’s all you need to know, do you hear me?!” Bellatrix bellowed. It made Narcissa flinch and then look down, avoiding her gaze.

“I just worry,” she mumbled, upset that she was yelled at.

Bellatrix let out a breath as she looked at her. Then she moved forward, bringing her hand underneath Narcissa’s chin and tipping it up so she looked her in the eyes. She gave her a soft smile, trying to comfort her. “I’m fine, Cissy. I’m safe, I promise.”

Narcissa looked at her, searching her eyes for any sign to the contrary, but found none. Finally she nodded a little, but didn’t say anything. They sat in silence for a moment as Bellatrix’s hand cupped her cheek, stroking it softly. Narcissa’s heart sped up and she swallowed, trying to suppress the worry she still held inside for Bellatrix and the urge she was having that she knew she shouldn’t act on.

But then Bellatrix, looking at her as if she was in a daze, traced her thumb over Narcissa’s bottom lip and it made the blonde act without thinking. She practically lunged at her, her lips connecting to Bellatrix’s in a passionate kiss, trying to convey all the worry and care she had for her. Bellatrix seemed like she was about to protest, her hands were on Narcissa’s shoulders to push her back as she mumbled something inaudible against her lips, but she never did. Instead Narcissa cupped her face with her hand as she parted her lips and suddenly Bellatrix was kissing her back with just as much passion.

It was brief, but it was meaningful. When they parted, both of them already seemed a bit shortened for breath and they stared at each other; both not knowing what to say. Narcissa watched as Bellatrix’s bottom lip trembled for a moment, like she was trying to force words out of her mouth. Finally she looked away and started, “Cissy, we-”

“Don’t,” Narcissa interrupted. Bellatrix looked at her. “Please stop doing that. It was only a kiss, and when you do one thing and say another it’s confusing for me.”

“You know this isn’t right,” Bellatrix said, looking at her sadly. “You know I… I mean, I’d like to. It’s not a question of that. But if anyone were to find out…”

“We’re not doing anything wrong,” Narcissa told her, trying to make herself and her sister believe it, even though she knew it was a lie.

Bellatrix sighed, leaning forward to press her forehead to Narcissa’s. She closed her eyes and whispered, “I love you, Narcissa. I’d love to love you in every way possible, if I could. But I can’t.”

“Why?” Narcissa asked softly.

“Because I love you too much to do that to you.”

Narcissa was quiet for a moment, thinking. She slid her hand over Bellatrix’s thigh and her sister held it, opening her eyes to look at her as she pulled back, but only slightly. “Is it romantic for you?” Narcissa asked, suddenly realizing that was a possibility.

“Is it for you?” Bellatrix asked.

Narcissa shrugged, feeling self-conscience that she didn’t understand her own feelings. “I don’t know.”

Bellatrix’s hand squeezed hers and she leaned in, kissing her on the forehead. But when she pulled back Narcissa couldn’t help herself and she leaned in and kissed her sister on the lips softly. When they pulled away she whispered, “I don’t know if it’s romantic. But I like doing that. Isn’t that enough?”

“It’s too much, that’s the problem.”

“But we like doing it,” Narcissa protested. “Even though it’s wrong, it makes me feel good. Doesn’t it make you feel good too?”

“Of course, but-”

“Then we don’t tell anyone,” Narcissa said. She needed this connection with her sister. Sometimes it felt like it was the only thing she ever had. “It’s only kissing, what’s the harm?”

“The harm is that it’ll grow to be more than that eventually. Either that or you’ll grow up, realize that what we’re doing is labeled as disgusting by the majority of society and never want to speak to me again,” Bellatrix told her, voice heavy with emotion over that prospect. “I can’t lose you, Cissy. I won’t. Not over something as stupid as this.”

“I won’t do that,” Narcissa promised.

“You can’t promise that,” Bellatrix told her, giving her a sad smile. She looked away, once again feeling guilty. “I shouldn’t have done that to you last night. You’re too young, too vulnerable. I’m supposed to be the one protecting you.”

“I’m old enough,” Narcissa protested, a little miffed at her feelings practically being dismissed due to her age. “I know kissing girls is wrong. I know kissing my own sister is even more wrong. Yet I made my decision, why can’t you?”

“I have, you just don’t like the answer.”

“So what happens the next time you get drunk, or the next time you have a momentary lapse in judgment?” Narcissa accused. “We’ll be having this same conversation all over again. You’re going to continue to confuse me, and you know it.”

“Well I’m sorry if I’m not as strong as I’d like to be!” Bellatrix exclaimed, a little angry. “Sometimes I don’t think; I just react. I can’t expect you to understand what that’s like.”

“I’m human, Bella. Of course I understand it,” Narcissa said.

“Not like I do.”

“You’re not that different,” Narcissa told her, annoyed. “I understand you’re… fighting with something inside of you right now, and maybe it makes it harder for you, but I have urges too that I act on without thinking twice about. We all do.”

Bellatrix was silent, picking at her sheets absent-mindedly. Finally she said, “I’m only worried this won’t end well, Narcissa. For either of us. You believe it’s so innocent, but I’m older than you. Something that may seem innocent to you isn’t so for me.”

“Because you want to have sex with me,” Narcissa answered for her. Bellatrix snapped her head up to look at her, shocked that she would even say that out loud. “That’s what you said last night.”

“No, I didn’t mean-”

“You did! You told me you’ve thought about it, a lot,” Narcissa pushed. She wasn’t going to let Bellatrix deny it.

“I was drunk!” Bellatrix exclaimed. “I was drunk and I was aroused, what else am I supposed to say? I didn’t mean it. I don’t… I don’t want to have sex with you, Narcissa. That’s gross.”

“Hey!” Narcissa exclaimed, offended. “I am nothing of the sort, thank you!”

“I didn’t mean you, I meant… us. Doing that. We can’t do that. Are you kidding me with this?” Bellatrix asked, like it was Narcissa’s idea. “It may be alright in our family to breed with our cousins to keep the bloodline pure, but we’re not breeding, Narcissa; we’re both women, we’re both sisters. Even our family would kill us for an indiscretion like this.”

“But you’re the one who said you wanted to. That’s why you’re so upset, because you don’t want to want to.”

“Shut your mouth!” Bellatrix exclaimed. “I’m not an incestuous pervert! Not like that!”

“If I am, then you are as well!” Narcissa shouted, pushing Bellatrix back a little from her, face contorted in anger. “How can you sit there and lie to my face when I’m only being truthful with you?”

“Because I’m scared!” Bellatrix yelled suddenly. The admission quieted them both momentarily and Bellatrix shifted as if uncomfortable in her own skin. She looked down, voice heavy with emotion, “I don’t want to want you, Cissy. You’re right, okay? I’m scared of what kind of person that makes me, I’m scared of someone finding out, I’m scared of ruining us both.”

“And you think I’m not?” Narcissa countered.

“You sure don’t act like you are.”

“Of course I am!” Narcissa exclaimed, taking Bellatrix’s hands in hers. “I know if Mum were to ever find out she’d disown us both. We’d be kicked out with nowhere to go. I know if it got out further than people would look down on us, like we’re something sick. I know all of that.”

“Then how could you possibly want to do it anyway?”

Narcissa gave her a small smile and brought Bellatrix’s hand up her lips, kissing it softly. “Because I love you, Bella. You’re my big sister, my whole world, and I’d like to be able to show you just how much.”

“It’s not a sisterly love though, what you’re speaking of.”

“Why not?” Narcissa asked. “Who’s to say? How do you know that there aren’t countless other sisters out there like us, feeling the same way but are too scared to do anything about it because of what society would say?” Bellatrix doesn’t have an answer for her, so Narcissa goes on. “I know I’m just a girl and you’re nearly a woman, but that doesn’t change anything for me. I like to be with you, to be near you. I like it when you hold me; it makes me feel safe. And I like it when you kiss me because I feel loved.” She takes a breath, waiting for Bellatrix to say anything, but she doesn’t. So she continues, “I know it can’t be real, not entirely. We will both have husbands one day and we’ll have to live how we’re meant to live then. But not now. For now, can’t we just be us? Why can’t we have a special kind of relationship? Something no one can know and something no one can touch.”

Bellatrix sighed a little. “You have such pretty words for someone your age. Sometimes I forget how young you are when you talk like that.”

Narcissa smiled a little, “I read a lot of romance novels.”

Bellatrix laughed softly. “Those things are trash.”

“They are not! You said it yourself, what I said was beautiful. And I meant it, Bellatrix. But I wouldn’t have those words to say to you if I didn’t know what they meant from reading those types of books.”

Bellatrix was silent for a moment, contemplating her offer. Narcissa looked at her with hopeful eyes, just wanting her sister to stop running for once. It may not be meant to be, but she believed it was right, at least for now. She wanted to be close to Bellatrix in that way. It made her feel completed.

Finally Bellatrix looked at her hesitantly, but said, “No one must ever find out. No one, Cissy. You understand the risks.” Narcissa nodded, the hope spreading through every inch of her body and turning into happiness. “And I will not take your virginity. I won’t,” Bellatrix told her firmly. “I don’t care if one day you want to; I will not do that to you.”

Narcissa nodded, a wide grin spreading across her face. She leaped into her sister’s arms, engulfing her in a fierce hug. Bellatrix held her, burying her face in her hair before she kissed her neck softly. “I do love you, Narcissa,” she told her, her voice mumbled into her sister’s neck, but Narcissa could still hear the emotion behind it and it brought tears to her eyes. “You know that… right? More than anything.”

Narcissa pulled back, looking into her sister’s eyes as she cupped her face in her palm. “I know, Bella. I know…”

It was the beginning of something that neither of them knew at the time would envelop them both. It was something that caused so much happiness is Narcissa’s life, yet also managed to cause so much pain. But at the moment, Narcissa couldn’t fathom anything bad happening from it.

Oh, how wrong she turned out to be...

GO TO PART FIVE...