Fanfiction || Amphierotic Bloodlines || Bellatrix/Narcissa || Part Eighteen
Title: Amphierotic Bloodlines
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta(s): supershineygirl (chapter two), dolfynrider (chapter three & onwards)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17
Length Thus Far: 144,186 words
Main Pairing: Bellatrix/Narcissa
Sub Pairings: Narcissa/Lucius, Narcissa/OC, Bellatrix/OC, Bellatrix/Rodolphus
Summary: Growing up in the 1960s in a family that expected nothing less than perfection, anything less than such was deemed unfit for a young woman of their status and was punished severely. A house that was classified as 'noble' had dark secrets hidden within those walls, a fear that only the people within experienced. The confusion young girls have growing up was more than intensified in there: it bordered on practically unbearable. This is a story about growing up, about surviving abuse, and about finding salvation and love from anyone you can, even if it’s from the last person on earth you know you should ever hold a deep affection for.
Warning(s): Lesbian incest, graphic child abuse, dubcon, sex between minors, anorexia nervosa, forced miscarriage, character death (minor), first chapter is un-beta’d
A/N: For NaNoWriMo 2010. This story is entirely from Narcissa’s POV (though not in first person) and will only include up to her graduation from Hogwarts. I may do a sequel later to cover her adult years, but for now I think this is more than enough.
Other Parts: PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT | PART NINE | PART TEN | PART ELEVEN | PART TWELVE | PART THIRTEEN | PART FOURTEEN | PART FIFTEEN | PART SIXTEEN | PART SEVENTEEN
A/N: It's ridiculous that I can't even fit two chapters in a post anymore because they've gotten too long, lol. LJ really needs to up it's word limit.
CHAPTER TWENTY NINE
Narcissa sat at the Lestrange’s dining room table, knees pulled up to her chest as she stared at the plate of food in front of her. Lucius sat on the opposite side of the table; silent, just as he had been for the last twenty minutes. He didn’t push, he didn’t force her; he just waited. Narcissa couldn’t help but wonder how long his patience would last.
She was glad he didn’t bring her to a restaurant. After the emotional roller coaster she had been on all day, Narcissa was sure she couldn’t handle something like that. She felt so incredibly drained; both emotionally and physically. Even if she wanted to eat the food in front of her, she didn’t think she’d have the appetite to; all of the fighting, all of the stress, and all of the constant breakdowns were finally taking a serious toll on her. She didn’t want to move, she didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to do anything. Normally she would eat a few vegetables on her plate; that she could handle. But right now, even making the effort to pick up her fork was more than she felt she could exert.
Narcissa wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed, but she knew Lucius would not allow her to leave the table until she at least ate something. The problem was; she didn’t think she could. Letting out a heavy breath, she laid her head on her knees and stared at the wall. They were going to be here for ages.
They never did end up finishing their shopping. After Narcissa calmed down they picked up a few more things, but it had already grown much too late. She still had a few more weeks before school, but Narcissa wanted to get it all over and done with today. No use complaining about it now though; what’s done is done. She would just have to finish when she was up for it.
The seconds ticked by loudly from the analog clock adorning the wall, reminding Narcissa how late she’s keeping Lucius. If he didn’t get home soon, his father would surely be angry with him. Yet Lucius made no move to rush her, nor tell her that he would have to leave soon. He just continued to stay silent as he watched her, waiting for her to pick up her fork and take her first bite.
Narcissa looked up as she heard someone entering the dining room. Her eyes landed on Bellatrix, who stopped as she took in the scene in front of her. “What the hell are you doing here?” she asked Lucius; not looking pleased to find him camped out in her dining room. Narcissa sighed; she didn’t need them to fight right now.
“Waiting for Narcissa to eat something,” he told her shortly. Bellatrix snorted.
“Good luck with that,” she scoffed as she crossed behind Narcissa, stopping at the cabinets that adorned the wall. Narcissa watched as she took a small vile out from the top shelf; her potions, Narcissa assumed. She made a face of displeasure; she was sure those things were dangerous and yet Bellatrix didn’t seem to care in the slightest what her opinion was.
“Your lack of caring disgusts me,” Lucius told her, angry that Bellatrix apparently felt so little for her sister’s health. “No wonder she’s like this.”
“Don’t confuse intelligence with a lack of caring, Lucius,” Bellatrix replied, a hint of a snap behind her words as she removed the cork from the vial. “I just know better than to force Narcissa to do anything.” She tipped the vial up to her lips then, consumed the potion in one swig.
Narcissa wasn’t sure how true that last statement really was, but she stayed quiet nonetheless. She had been in enough arguments for one day.
“I’m not forcing her,” Lucius protested.
“No?” Bellatrix asked skeptically, looking at him like he was being utterly ridiculous. “You may not be shoving it down her throat, but you’re keeping her here until she eats. What else would you call it?” Lucius didn’t answer, he just stared at her; tightlipped. “You’re going about this all wrong,” Bellatrix informed him. “If you really have the desperate need to make her start eating now, you may try to offer her something in return; at least that way she’s getting something out of it.”
“What, you mean bribe her?” Lucius asked, scoffing. “That doesn’t fix the underlying problem.”
“And sitting here and waiting until she eats does?” Bellatrix countered.
“I’m right here,” Narcissa interrupted, getting annoyed with being talked about like she wasn’t even in the room.
“Really? And here I thought I just had a rotting corpse sitting at my dinner table,” Bellatrix retorted, much too harshly. “My mistake.”
“Watch your mouth!” Lucius exclaimed, glaring at his soon to be sister-in-law across from the table. “I won’t have you speak to her like that.”
“Just fuck off, Bella,” Narcissa mumbled, wrapping her arms around her legs tighter as if to protect her from Bellatrix’s verbal blows. She knew why Bellatrix said what she did, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Why not?” Bellatrix countered, addressing Lucius. “It’s what she strives to be, after all. The truth hurts and she’s a big girl; the time for coddling her is over.”
“You’re not helping,” Lucius snapped.
“No, probably not,” Bellatrix affirmed, leaning against the far wall and crossing her arms over her chest. “But I’m willing to bet I can make her eat before you can.”
“This isn’t a competition,” Lucius replied, glaring at her. “Your sister is really sick, or don’t you care?”
“Don’t ever presume to know how I feel!” Bellatrix shouted, pointing a finger at him warningly. “Narcissa has been the only thing in my life I actually give a damn about, so get off your fucking high horse before I throw you off head first.”
“Well you have funny way of showing it,” Lucius retorted, quickly becoming furious. “You’ve let her starve herself for God only knows how long now!”
“I let her do as she pleases, as she lets me,” Bellatrix answered heatedly. “She has a choice and I allow her to exercise that right; I don’t try to shape her into someone she doesn’t want to be.”
Narcissa buried her face in her knees. She didn’t want to deal with this right now; she wished they would just stop fighting.
“So you allow to her to slowly kill herself because she has the right to choose?” Lucius replied disbelievingly.
“In case you’ve forgotten, I step in when it gets out of hand,” Bellatrix retorted, referring to the liquid meals she spiked her healing potion with. “I won’t let her die. At least I noticed when she stopped eating; you on the other hand had to be told because your head is stuck so far up your ass that you can’t even see the light of day, let alone anyone in it.”
Lucius fumed. “Maybe I didn’t notice, but it was probably because you allowed it to go on for so long that she got good at lying about it.”
“She didn’t have to lie to you,” Bellatrix shot back venomously. “Perhaps she didn’t trust you, or maybe she just didn’t love you enough to tell you the truth. Pity.”
“Oh my god, will you two just stop?!” Narcissa shrieked finally, making them both turn to her and finally take into account that she was still in the room. “I have had a really bad day and neither of you are helping. So do me and a favor and just, for one second, shut your sodding mouths.”
Lucius looked guilty for upsetting her. Bellatrix however just smirked, taking Narcissa’s outburst as her cue. She slid into the seat next to her, cocking her head as she peered at her. “You want us to stop fighting?” she asked rhetorically. “Then eat something.” She pushed the plate of food towards her, looking at her expectantly.
Narcissa just stared at her, finding her proposition ridiculous. They would never stop fighting; if Bellatrix had a cock they both would have already whipped them out and laid them on the table so they could measure. It was so completely and utterly stupid, how much they fought over her affections.
“I doubt she cares that much,” Lucius retorted, finding Bellatrix’s proposition ridiculous as well.
“Yes, she does,” Bellatrix answered, keeping eye contact with Narcissa. She looked cocky, like she had already won. “She feels helpless when we fight; she hates it. It’s completely beyond her control and she can’t deal with that.”
Off the mention of the word ‘control,’ Lucius turned to look at Narcissa. He was starting to find that Bellatrix’s proposition may hold some merit after all. He raised his eyebrows as he waited, wondering if Narcissa was going to take the bait.
Narcissa continued to stare at Bellatrix, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Finally she said, “You despise Lucius, you wouldn’t know how to be civil to him even if you wanted to.”
“Maybe I couldn’t be forever, no. But tonight I can treat him like an actual human being, if you really want me to,” Bellatrix pressed, knowing she’s getting to her. “Or we can sit here and argue all night; your choice.”
Narcissa knew she was being manipulated and while she didn’t particularly care for that, she knew Bellatrix could have blackmailed her instead, which she would have liked far less. She could have also disregarded her choice entirely and continued to slip liquid meals to her in her morning pumpkin juice, which would have made Narcissa constantly paranoid. As much as she didn’t like this, the option Bellatrix was giving her was the lesser of many evils.
And God, she had wished forever that they would just stop fighting all the time. Bellatrix was right; she did feel helpless and she hated that it was beyond her control. In the end, that’s what Bellatrix was offering her: control. Narcissa now had the choice to be free from the constant heartache of the two people she loved tearing each other apart.
Narcissa picked up her fork.
But before she gave in completely she paused, looking at the both of them. “If you snipe at each other tonight, even just once, I will never allow either of you to try to sit me down in front of a plate of food again.”
Lucius looked shocked that this was actually working. “Understood,” he replied, his voice still filled with disbelief. Bellatrix looked smug.
“I won’t be able to eat the whole thing,” Narcissa told them, looking at the full plate of food. “It’s… still too much.”
“You’re stalling,” Bellatrix said, calling her out. Narcissa sighed, pushing the food on her plate around with her fork. She still didn’t feel hungry in the slightest, but maybe her curiosity was getting the best of her. Could they really get along for a night?
Narcissa’s fork pierced a piece of meat and she raised it to her lips. Both her sister and fiancée were staring at her. It was so awkward, to be watched like some sort of child. But in the back of her mind she knew she brought this kind of supervision on herself. It seemed like it took forever, but finally Narcissa did take a bite.
Lucius seemed to let out a breath he had been holding for god only knows how long.
The meat was cold from sitting there for so long, but it wasn’t entirely horrible. The sensation of eating it was odd, as she hadn’t had meat in quite a long time, but it didn’t make her sick like she expected. Maybe it was because this time when she ate she was getting something out of it; getting peace of mind. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had that.
Narcissa took another bite and chewed slowly, eyes downcast so she didn’t have to see them staring at her.
“Great, now that that drama is over…” Bellatrix started as she rose from the table, “I’m going to get some wine.” She paused mid-stride however, remembering the deal she just cut with Narcissa. She turned to Lucius and scrunched up her face in distaste, yet forced herself to be polite and ask in dry monotone, “Would you like any, Lucius?” She sounded as if she was reading off a blackboard.
“I would, thank you,” Lucius replied, looking a little amused at Bellatrix being forced into politeness with him. She merely rolled her eyes in response as she headed into the kitchen.
Well, it wasn’t perfect, but it was something at least. Narcissa took another bite of food, already feeling like she had too much. But she had made a deal and so she swallowed it without complaint.
Bellatrix came back with the wine shortly and poured a glass for each of them before flopping down again next to Narcissa. She let out a heavy breath before she brought the wine glass to her lips, taking a sip as she stared at the far wall. Now that the entire eating argument was over, Narcissa finally felt the tension coming off in waves from her sister. She had nearly forgotten about their fight this morning with everything else going on, but now the aftermath was clear as day; Bellatrix was still upset over being rejected yet again.
And truth be told, Narcissa was still upset that Bellatrix didn’t think she was worth enough to put forth some effort.
However, maybe it was a testament to how much Bellatrix actually cared that she ended up putting that aside to help Lucius in her own backwards little way. Or maybe she just enjoyed arguing with Lucius and something good accidently came from it all. Regardless of how it came about, Narcissa knew Bellatrix could have just ignored her and went about her own business. Instead she stayed. She’s still staying, even though she’s clearly unhappy about it.
Narcissa wondered why, exactly.
Not that it really mattered. Bellatrix was here for her, being civil to Lucius for her, and that’s all that mattered. Narcissa tried to show her gratitude by finding her sister’s hand beneath the table, but the moment their fingers touched, Bellatrix yanked her hand away and buried it in her lap without even sparing her a glace. Narcissa tried to not look hurt as she stabbed another piece of meat with her fork.
Lucius cleared his throat, trying to break the awkward silence between them all. “So,” he started, attempting small talk. “Where is Rodolphus?” he asked Bellatrix. “It’d be nice if he could join us.”
“I don’t know; out shagging some tart, I suppose,” Bellatrix replied flatly, not giving into meaningless pleasantries. Lucius looked a bit taken aback at her bluntness and coughed awkwardly before taking a sip of wine.
Narcissa sighed. It seemed that even without all the yelling, the two of them were still unable to have a proper conversation. She flicked her broccoli around her plate, knowing she should probably attempt to dictate the conversation but having no idea what to even talk about.
How she was going to end up being a hostess, she had no idea. Her parties are going to be complete rubbish.
“I’m thinking of trying out for the Quidditch team this year,” Narcissa blurted out suddenly. She had no idea why she just said that; she had never given it a thought in her life. She supposed she just didn’t want them all to sit there in uncomfortable silence.
Bellatrix snorted in response. “You’re rubbish at Quidditch.”
“I am not!” Narcissa protested. It was a stupid reaction, but she felt like she had to defend herself. The truth was, she was rubbish at Quidditch. “Fine, maybe I am a bit,” she mumbled as she reached for her wine. This wasn’t going very well.
“Perhaps you’re more suited for the Wizard’s Chess Team,” Lucius replied a little awkwardly, trying to be helpful without hurting her feelings.
“She’s rubbish at that too,” Bellatrix interjected. “Rubbish at quite a lot of things, actually,” she finished, like a personal afterthought that just happened to come out of her mouth.
“You do wonders for my self-esteem, Bella,” Narcissa replied dryly.
Bellatrix just now seemed to understand that she insulted her and so she tried to smooth it over with, “Well, I do know one thing you’re good at.” Narcissa isn’t sure she liked her tone when she said that.
“What?” Lucius asked, curious.
Bellatrix gave Narcissa a dirty smirk in response and the blonde’s eyes went wide before she swatted at her arm. “Shut up,” she snapped, not believing that Bellatrix just implied they had a sex life in front of her fiancée. “Ignore her,” she instructed Lucius, hoping her voice didn’t betray how much she was shaken up by that. “She’s just being a cow.” She glared at Bellatrix, who merely chuckled in response before taking another sip of her wine.
Lucius looked confused, but didn’t press the matter. Within moments they all fell into an awkward silence again.
And once again, Lucius tried to break it by asking Bellatrix all the wrong questions. “So are you and Rodolphus planning on having children soon?”
Narcissa’s head fell into her hand and Bellatrix outright laughed at the question like it was the funniest thing she had heard in months.
“Do you honestly think I’m fit to be a mother?” she asked like she couldn’t believe the stupidity that fell from his lips.
“Please don’t answer that,” Narcissa mumbled, knowing that if he answered they were liable to get into a fight again. It was almost like Bellatrix was baiting him. Then again, he did bring this upon himself. Lucius knew Bellatrix was a lesbian, so why he continued to push the marriage issue, Narcissa had no idea. Perhaps he thought they would still try to continue on as normal for appearances.
Lucius swallowed his answer and cleared his throat. “I just thought…”
“That every woman wants that?” Bellatrix answered for him. “Hardly. I don’t have time for that sort of nonsense, nor does Rodolphus. Besides, I don’t think either of us could stomach going through the process of making the little brats.”
“Are you truly that unhappy with each other?” Lucius asked, like he couldn’t understand it in the slightest.
Bellatrix looked taken aback by his question; it was incredibly personal. Narcissa was shocked that he asked her that as well, but maybe it just fell from his lips before he could stop it. He did look rather uncomfortable with the stunned silence that followed his question.
“I don’t need happiness with Rodolphus,” Bellatrix answered finally, her voice even. “It’s not why we’re married. And if you were forced to marry someone you held no affection for like the rest of us, you’d understand that. You and Narcissa both seem to easily forget how rare your relationship is.”
“We don’t,” Lucius told her. They had a conversation about just that earlier in the day. “But I suppose I just fail to understand how someone cannot hold even a small amount of loyalty for the person they’re going to spend the rest of their life with.”
This was getting into dangerous territory. “Perhaps we should discuss something else,” Narcissa tried, but she was ignored.
“You mistake love for loyalty; they aren’t one in the same. I am very loyal to Rodolphus; he’s my husband and if he so wishes I’ll stand by his side through anything,” Bellatrix answered shortly. Her patience was being tested, that much was obvious. However she was still trying to keep things civil. How long that would last though, Narcissa didn’t know.
Lucius looked surprised by her answer. He also looked intrigued, which worried Narcissa. Intrigue meant more questions. “That’s interesting,” he stated, meaning every word. That took Bellatrix aback for a moment and she furrowed her eyebrows, not understanding why he would find her marriage interesting in the slightest.
“Why?”
“It’s always interesting to see the other side of things,” Lucius answered. “You don’t think?”
“Not particularly; I care nothing for how others live their lives,” Bellatrix told him flatly, flicking her wrist gently to make the wine swirl in her glass. She looked tense.
Narcissa took that moment to slide her plate away from her. It made a screeching sound against the glass table and both of them looked at her. “I’m finished,” she stated, needing to change the topic. Both of them looked at the amount of food left on her plate.
“Can you try to eat a little more?” Lucius asked at the exact same time Bellatrix said, “Fine.” They looked at one another.
“She ate significantly more than she has been lately,” Bellatrix said, coming to Narcissa’s defense. “Just leave her be; there’s always tomorrow.”
Narcissa expected Lucius to protest, so she was surprised when all he did was nod and settle back in his chair. Them not arguing was odd; it was like the world was turning backwards. But Narcissa wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, no matter how awkward this little chat was turning out to be.
“I suppose now that we’re being forced to get along,” Lucius started, fiddling with his wine glass absentmindedly, “it would be the perfect time to ask why you despise me so much.”
“Lucius,” Narcissa warned. Now it was he who was baiting her.
“You want us to get along, do you not?” he countered. “We won’t ever be able to do that unless we understand where the other is coming from.”
He had a point, but this was still liable to turn into a disaster. Narcissa pursed her lips, glancing over at Bellatrix. She was staring at Lucius, expressionless.
“You took what’s mine,” she told him flatly. Narcissa prayed she didn’t elaborate on that statement further.
Lucius looked a little exasperated at Bellatrix’s possessiveness, but he didn’t comment on it. He had known for quite some time that Bellatrix thought of Narcissa as her property. “She’s right here,” he told her, motioning to Narcissa. “She hasn’t gone anywhere.”
“Not what I meant.”
“You were the one who pushed us to get engaged,” Lucius pointed out. “You even gave us permission to date before that.”
“I only did that to secure her future,” Bellatrix told him, not looking entirely thrilled by this conversation, but relenting to it nonetheless for Narcissa’s sake. “Your family is wealthy and respected. I expected you to take care of her needs; to give her everything she deserves, but to be rather minimal in her life otherwise. I didn’t expect you to…” she paused, trying to find the right words. She sighed, frustrated as she finished, “care so goddamn much. It’s unnatural and I have a hard time trusting you because of that.”
“So because I didn’t want to just collect her as some sort of trophy wife, you mistrust me?” Lucius asked, looking a little perplexed.
“I mistrust you because I believe you’re leading her on,” Bellatrix answered.
“How?” Narcissa asked, interrupting. That didn’t make any sense at all. Bellatrix ignored her, however; she was having this conversation with Lucius. Once again, her presence was disregarded in the room and she was talked about as if she wasn’t there.
“I’m marrying her,” Lucius replied, still confused. “How would I be leading her on?”
“Because you both foolishly think you’re the exception to the rule,” Bellatrix told him bluntly. “You think because you’re in love that things will be different for you, when the truth is you’ll quickly learn that showing affection in our society is looked down upon. Not because it’s wrong, but because of simple jealousy; everyone will hate you for having what they don’t and your reputation will quickly crumble. So to save face you both will distance yourself from each other until eventually it’s no longer an act, but reality.”
Bellatrix paused, tapping her finger against her wine glass for a moment. “That’s going to break her heart,” she told him, a slight accusation behind her voice for something he had yet to do. “Narcissa is so wrapped up in the fairytale of it all; her white knight and all this sodding rubbish. She still bloody believes that you’re monogamous with her.”
Narcissa’s eyes flew up to meet Lucius’; wanting him to deny the accusation that he was sleeping around. Even after Bellatrix gave her that lecture about how she best see the reality of it all, she still held onto some small hope that she was wrong; that Lucius was waiting for her. However Lucius quickly averted his gaze and he didn’t need to answer; she already knew. Her stomach suddenly felt like she swallowed rocks.
“What are their names?” Narcissa demanded, her voice cracking slightly under the emotional strain. She wanted to live in her fairytale just a little bit longer, but apparently that was too much to ask. Whether she wanted to or not, it was time to grow up and face reality.
But before all that, she’d like to put each and every one of those women who touched her man in the ground.
“Don’t let her give you a guilt trip,” Bellatrix interrupted, taking note of Lucius’ face. The tone in her voice was odd; like she was playing a child’s game. Maybe this was to her. “She hasn’t been monogamous with you either,” she finished.
“Bella!” Narcissa exclaimed, horrified that she would tell him that. When Lucius looked over at her surprised, she covered her face in shame.
“You need to stop being a hypocrite,” Bellatrix told her, not sounding sympathetic in the slightest. “And you also need to stop living in this ridiculous dream world.”
“Wait, are you not…?” Lucius asked, trailing off and looking at Narcissa like he didn’t even know who she was anymore. “Did you lie to me?”
“My hymen is still intact; I’m not a bloody slag,” Narcissa snapped, offended that he would think that of her. Lucius’ ears turned a bit pink and he silenced himself before he ended up questioning her honor further; he already made a big enough arsehat out of himself as it was. Narcissa rounded on Bellatrix then, angry. “You’re doing this on purpose; making us fight.”
“Wrong,” Bellatrix told her, more of fierceness to her voice this time as she spoke directly to Narcissa. “I’m trying to ensure you don’t end up heartbroken; you’re welcome.”
“Why do you even care?” Narcissa shouted, angry that her whole pretty façade was just shattered before her eyes. “You certainly didn’t seem to care any other time I got my heart broken,” she finished, a very specific meaning to her words that Bellatrix understood instantly.
“Don’t fucking tell me I didn’t care!” Bellatrix shouted, slamming her hand on the table. Two glasses were knocked over from the force and wine began to spill, but she hardly took notice of it. Nor did anyone else.
“Narcissa, please,” Lucius interrupted. “Bellatrix is right; her concerns are more than valid.” That admission made both women stop, and they turned to look at him. Bellatrix looked confused that he actually agreed with her and Narcissa looked shocked that he would really believe those things would happen.
“I don’t plan to break your heart,” Lucius told her, “but she’s right; when we’re married we will have to establish some distance so as to not upset the community. I can see where that can become problematic in our marriage.”
“Surely we won’t behave that way behind closed doors though,” Narcissa protested.
“No, but sometimes when you put on an act for so long you forget after awhile that it isn’t the truth,” Lucius told her, looking at her regrettably. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t try to remind myself every day that it is.”
Narcissa set her jaw, trying not to look as upset as she felt. “So that’s it, then?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady. “We just try? There’s got to be a better solution than that.”
“If you have one, I’m listening,” Lucius replied, sighing a little in defeat.
But Narcissa didn’t have one. She just sat there, silent, trying not to break down and cry in front of them. Was she really doomed to be unhappy with anyone she was with? That isn’t right; that isn’t fair.
Sometimes Narcissa wished she never fell in love at all. With anyone.
“So,” Bellatrix started, interrupting the cloud of depression that seemed to settle over the table. “Getting back on topic; I’m now curious as to why you hate me so much, Lucius.” She settled back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest as she waited for an answer.
“Do you want to know the truth?” Lucius asked, shifting his gaze to land on Bellatrix.
“I asked, didn’t I?”
“Alright,” Lucius replied, before taking a breath. Clearly he never expected to voice this out loud. “Your possessiveness of Narcissa is completely out of hand. You may not realize it, but you act like a scorned lover, which unnerves me immensely for a variety of reasons. It also makes me fear for her safety when she’s with you.”
Narcissa choked on her own breath and she began coughing so violently that she had to reach for the single glass of wine left on the table to try to control it. Both Lucius and Bellatrix stared at her because of her reaction and Narcissa tried to stop herself from going red because she caused so much attention to herself. Bellatrix looked positively murderous; like Narcissa just outed them from being so completely taken off guard. Narcissa didn’t dare look at Lucius’ reaction.
Finally, Bellatrix turned to the man across from her, trying to appear calm. Narcissa could see her hand shaking under the table, however. “Are you implying that you think I’m going to try to fuck my own sister; is that it? How deranged do you think I am?”
Lucius looked extremely uncomfortable. He didn’t answer her.
“Well?” Bellatrix prodded, looking at him furiously. “Speak up; I think I deserve an answer after an implication like that.”
Narcissa’s heart was beating a thousand miles an hour; she wished Bellatrix would just deny it. The longer this dragged on, the more suspicious he was probably going to get. Narcissa tried to keep her face neutral so as to not show how completely terrified she was at that moment. She was sure she was going to vomit.
Lucius cleared his throat uncomfortably, refusing to make eye contact with Bellatrix. He knew he opened up a huge can of worms and there was no getting out of it now. So he sucked it up, trying to be a man and stick to his words. “Actually, after Narcissa’s reaction I’m inclined to believe you already have,” he told her, voice barely audible as he kept his eyes downcast. It sounded like he was instantly regretting each word as it came out of his mouth, yet he didn’t stop himself from saying it.
Narcissa couldn’t breathe. Her eyes went wide with panic and she tried to suck in some air so she wouldn’t pass out, but her lungs weren’t cooperating. She felt dizzy and she was sure she was going to vomit; all she could do was pray that she did it before she fainted, otherwise she’d probably choke on it.
Bellatrix noticed her reaction and grabbed her thigh from underneath the table, squeezing it so hard that the shock of intense pain allowed Narcissa to breathe because she momentarily forgot her near panic attack. She bit her lip as she tried to endure it, knowing that if Bellatrix stopped then she probably would go back to panicking.
“The fact that you think I’m that fucking sick, Lucius, is so goddamn offensive I don’t even know where to begin,” Bellatrix growled, trying to get all of Lucius’ attention to focus on her so he didn’t notice Narcissa in her own private hell. “And to assume that your soon to be wife would allow that to happen, is even fucking worse. Congratulations, you‘ve now insulted her honor so badly that it’d be a bloody miracle if you two even make it down the aisle.”
Lucius’ eyes shifted to Narcissa regrettably, but Bellatrix slammed her hand down on the table. “Look at me when I’m speaking to you!” she shouted, knowing Narcissa was still in no fit state to pull off this lie convincingly. Lucius’ eyes immediately snapped back to look at her; he looked frightened. “I may be overly possessive, but that’s because she’s my baby sister! And you know, the fact that you twisted that into something revolting is not a reflection upon our relationship, but your own sick mind.”
“I-I’m sorry,” Lucius stuttered, clearly afraid that Bellatrix was going to jump over the table and slit his throat; she looked like she wanted to do nothing more than that. He turned to Narcissa then, seeing her look positively distressed; her elbows were on the table and her face was buried in her hands. She was shaking as she tried to keep her tears as silent as possible. “Narcissa, I’m sorry I said those things… Narcissa?” he tried desperately, but she wouldn’t look at him.
“Just get out,” she croaked between sobs, grabbing fistfuls of her hair as she slid her head down to rest on the inside of her elbows. She didn’t want to look at him; she was afraid he’d see the guilt and shame on her face. “Just get out of my house.”
“Narcissa…”
“Did you not hear her?!” Bellatrix shrieked, standing up so suddenly that her chair fell to the ground with a loud bang. Lucius jumped to his feet immediately like someone had just fired a curse in his direction. “Get the fuck out of our house, now!”
Lucius didn’t need to be told again. He ran from the house as quick as he could and never once glanced back.
Narcissa started wheezing painfully through her heavy tears as she struggled to breathe. Her whole body was shaking and she tried desperately to calm down, but she couldn’t. She felt like she was suffocating; in a matter of mere minutes, her whole world fell apart. She wanted to scream, but no sound would come out. She wanted to rip herself to sodding pieces because surely that would be better than going through this kind of pain. It felt like it was cutting her up inside and she prayed the pain would stop, but it only seemed to get worse. Her tears fell from her eyes heavier, her breathing became shallower, and she started choking on her own snot that was now draining down the back of her throat. Suddenly her eyes went wide with fear as she realized she was no longer getting enough air and she slammed her hand down on the table, frantically needing her sister to help.
Bellatrix tore herself from her own private breakdown that Narcissa didn’t even realize she was having until that moment. But once she saw the look of absolute terror on her sister’s face and realized she was no longer breathing, she jumped to her feet. “Shit, shit! It’s okay, Cissy; I promise it’s okay, just try to relax,” Bellatrix instructed her frantically as she rifled through the potions in her cabinet. Narcissa couldn’t relax though; instead she grabbed a hold of the back of her chair as she desperately tried to suck in as much air as she could. It was futile though; she couldn’t even get a quarter of a lung full.
She was terrified that she was going to end up dying from her panic attack.
But Bellatrix grabbed a potion from the cabinet and rushed over then, popping open the cork and tipping Narcissa’s head back so she could pour the contents down her throat. The last thing Narcissa remembered was choking on it a little before her world went black.
GO TO PART NINETEEN...