Fanfiction || Amphierotic Bloodlines || Bellatrix/Narcissa || Part Twenty One
Title: Amphierotic Bloodlines
Author: Sapphire Smoke cuzimastripper
Beta(s): supershineygirl (chapter two), dolfynrider (chapter three & onwards)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: NC-17
Length Thus Far: 159,828 words
Main Pairing: Bellatrix/Narcissa
Sub Pairings: Narcissa/Lucius, Narcissa/OC, Bellatrix/OC, Bellatrix/Rodolphus
Summary: Growing up in the 1960s in a family that expected nothing less than perfection, anything less than such was deemed unfit for a young woman of their status and was punished severely. A house that was classified as 'noble' had dark secrets hidden within those walls, a fear that only the people within experienced. The confusion young girls have growing up was more than intensified in there: it bordered on practically unbearable. This is a story about growing up, about surviving abuse, and about finding salvation and love from anyone you can, even if it’s from the last person on earth you know you should ever hold a deep affection for.
Warning(s): Lesbian incest, graphic child abuse, dubcon, sex between minors, anorexia nervosa, forced miscarriage, character death (minor), first chapter is un-beta’d
A/N: For NaNoWriMo 2010. This story is entirely from Narcissa’s POV (though not in first person) and will only include up to her graduation from Hogwarts. I may do a sequel later to cover her adult years, but for now I think this is more than enough.
Other Parts: PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT | PART NINE | PART TEN | PART ELEVEN | PART TWELVE | PART THIRTEEN | PART FOURTEEN | PART FIFTEEN | PART SIXTEEN | PART SEVENTEEN | PART EIGHTEEN | PART NINETEEN | PART TWENTY
CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
It was odd, being at King’s Cross Station without her mother. Druella Black would always make a big show of fixing Narcissa’s hair, straightening her robes, all whist lecturing her about how she mustn’t come back home with a few extra pounds because she’d surely disgrace the family if she ended up fat. This time her sister escorted her. They stood on Platform 9 ¾ while they waited for the train to pull into the station; it should be any moment now.
The platform was bustling with activity. Students excited for the return to school were chatting happily amongst each other. Some mothers who’s little ones were just starting their first year were busying themselves giving last minute reminders to their children, while others cried unashamedly. Narcissa understood it must be hard to see your children grow up so fast, but proper women did not cry in public and the sight of it disgusted her slightly.
It was odd, seeing all the students run around, greeting their friends. There once was a time when she would do that, but that time wasn’t now. She wanted to spend the last few moments she had with her sister, and with no one else.
Bellatrix stood behind her, hands on Narcissa’s forearms protectively as they both took in the scene before them. “I’ll pick you up here during your Christmas leave,” Bellatrix told her softly as they watched the Hogwarts Express pull into the station. “Abraxas Malfoy sent an owl - we’ll be having your engagement party at his manor on Christmas Eve.”
“You won’t be picking me up for my birthday?” Narcissa asked, trying not to sound disappointed.
“I don’t want to take you away from your studies. I know how much you struggle and it’s imperative you get good marks on your O.W.Ls.”
Narcissa all but scoffed. “Why? You don’t have to be smart to become a housewife.”
“Maybe not, but no man is going to want to marry a dunce either - it’s a sign of bad breeding.” Narcissa stayed silent, knowing her sister had a point. “Besides,” Bellatrix went on, sliding her hand up her arm to play lightly with the ends of Narcissa’s hair, “I wish you had more ambition.”
“I don’t want anything from my life besides children, Bella,” Narcissa answered, to which Bellatrix scowled.
“Useless.”
“To you, maybe.”
The conductor of the Hogwarts Express was talking adamantly with the trolley woman down the far end of the platform. Students were gathered around the train, waiting impatiently for them to be let on. However it was standard procedure for the workers to make sure all the correct spells and enchantments were working so the train would carry on to its destination properly. They had at least another five to ten minutes until it was time to board.
Narcissa turned to face her sister, a worried look crossing over her face as she noticed she was wincing slightly. She knew what it was from; the potions. They were giving her headaches again, bad ones. Though Bellatrix had learned to hide her distress better, Narcissa could always tell when they bothered her. No matter the good they did, Narcissa feared they did so much worse. Last night her sister had been throwing up uncontrollably, and though she told Narcissa she was just ill, the younger Black knew better.
Which was why all of Bellatrix’s potions were now hidden away in her luggage.
She knew Bellatrix would be furious when she found out she took them, but she didn’t care. It was obvious they were making her sick. Until a better medicine came about for her condition, Narcissa thought it safer if she just abstained from taking them. Of course Bellatrix would never agree to it, which is why she went behind her back and took them.
“Will you miss me?” Narcissa asked, a hint of her girlish vulnerability sneaking out despite her best efforts.
Bellatrix smiled at her softly, smoothing her hand out over Narcissa’s long blonde locks. “Every moment of every day.”
Narcissa wished she could kiss her for that statement; she wasn’t expecting something so sweet. Instead she merely smiled back, a slight blush adorning her cheeks.
“You’re not angry still?”
“Of course I’m still angry, Cissy. There’s just nothing I can do to change what happened. What’s done is done,” Bellatrix answered. Narcissa’s eyes fell downcast and she said nothing. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you.”
Things were still off between the two of them. Though they found themselves entangled in one another once more right after it had all happened, since then they had been relatively distant. It was a weakness during a moment’s fear, nothing more. Narcissa herself felt torn about what she wanted. On one hand she wanted to find herself in her sister’s arms every night, but on the other, what had happened with Lucius did stand to make her paranoid; especially now that they had somewhat reconciled.
Narcissa sighed softly, turning once more so she could look at the train as she leaned back against her sister’s chest. “For what it’s worth, I miss you already,” she whispered. Bellatrix said nothing, but put a hand on her arm comfortingly.
Lucius approached them then, noticing them standing in the far corner. He eyed Bellatrix warily, but nodded politely in greeting. “Bellatrix.”
“Lucius,” Bellatrix responded, polite though obviously less than pleased.
Lucius turned to Narcissa then, holding out his hand to her. “Come on; they’ll be boarding soon. We wouldn’t want to straggle behind and be left with the carriage that smells like hippogriff dung.” There was always this one carriage in the Slytherin compartment that smelled awful. No one knew why and even the cleaners couldn’t get the smell out year after year. Narcissa turned up her nose; she definitely didn’t want to sit there. She took Lucius’ hand.
“Hey,” Bellatrix said, stopping them both for a moment. She brought Narcissa to her in a side hug, kissing the top of her head. “Study, I mean it. If you listen to nothing else I say, listen to that; I don’t want you to fuck up, alright?” Narcissa nodded, giving her a small smile. Bellatrix then turned to Lucius. “As always, take care of her or I’ll be wearing your bollocks as earrings. And for fuck’s sake, help her with her studying - she’ll need it.”
Lucius had seemed to grow used to Bellatrix’s threats, because he merely nodded. “Of course.” He tugged on Narcissa’s hand a little. “Come on,” he encouraged. Narcissa followed, but turned back to give her sister one last longing look. Bellatrix smiled at her softly, momentarily, before she suddenly disapparated and all Narcissa was left looking at was the brick wall.
“What happened to your eye?” Lucius asked, voice hushed as they began walking towards the train. Narcissa lightly touched her face, having forgotten. Though the bruise was now gone, her right eye still looked bloodshot and angry.
“It’s merely irritated,” Narcissa answered, not wanting to talk about it. She was sure Lucius didn’t believe her, but he didn’t push the matter further.
Lucius led her through the crowd, pushing his way through the students. Only a few people complained, but after getting equal looks of disgust from both Lucius and Narcissa, they merely scowled silently. The train was beginning to board and though Narcissa felt a sense of longing to be back in the Lestrange manner, she knew she also needed this time away from her sister. It seemed when they were constantly together things felt tenser than usual. Time apart would do them well, hopefully.
While they were making their way down the Slytherin carriage, suddenly Narcissa stopped short. Lucius turned, confused as to why she would grind to a halt in the middle of the corridor. “Narcissa?”
Narcissa barely heard him. Her eyes were locked onto her sister’s, who was staring at her from the other end of the carriage. She didn’t expect Andromeda to show up; she had run away, after all. To see her standing there, looking healthy and unscathed, infuriated Narcissa. She pushed past Lucius, heading right towards her.
“Narcissa!”
She ignored him. She shoved a second year out of her way and he cried out as he banged his head on the glass door of a compartment. Murmurs erupted through the carriage, taking note of Narcissa practically manhandling everyone who was in her path. Andromeda stood, frozen on the spot, as she watched her. She didn’t look frightened per say, but she did look rather worried that Narcissa was going to attack her in the middle of the train.
When she got to her however, she merely shoved her into a compartment. “Sit down,” she ordered before she followed in after her, slamming the door shut so as to not be overheard. She was glad for the noise reducing charms placed on the compartments right now, because she knew she was about to scream.
“Lovely to see you too, Narcissa,” Andromeda replied sardonically as she brushed herself off and sat upright. “Care to sit down?”
“You… you fucking left!” Narcissa screamed, towering over her sister. It took all of her willpower not to beat her within an inch of her life, but she knew she would surely get expelled if she did something like that while on the train to school. “You’re such a stupid, selfish cunt, aren’t you?! Do you have any idea what you subjected me to? Do you even care?!”
Andromeda tightened her jaw for a moment, staring up at her. “Do you really think you deserve my care, when you stood idly by and watched Bellatrix torture me?” she countered. “I care nothing for what happens to you, Narcissa; just as you care nothing for me.”
“That’s not true!” Narcissa shouted, slamming her hand against the glass of the window. It shook, but did not break. She was sure they were unbreakable anyway. “I tried to stop her!”
“Not very hard!” Andromeda yelled, anger etched over every inch of her features. Her jaw trembled for a moment, but she suppressed the urge to cry as she stared at her younger sister across from her. “Never in my life have I experienced pain like that,” she hissed, looking like it was painful to admit, “Never in my fucking life would I have expected it to come from my own sister. You don’t know how that felt.” Her eyes took in Narcissa’s face, though most notably her bloodshot eye before she continued, “But I suspect you’ll learn soon enough. You seem to already be on your way to it.”
“Bella loves me,” Narcissa protested, though it sounded like just another excuse even to her own ears. Bellatrix did give her this mark, after all. But she deserved it. Bellatrix wouldn’t hit her unless she needed to be hit.
“Yes,” Andromeda confirmed, a disgusted look crossing over her face. “And I wish every day that I didn’t know just how much.”
Narcissa flushed in anger and embarrassment, finally moving to sit down on the seat opposite of her. “What Bellatrix and I do is none of your concern,” she told her in heated whisper. “I’m sorry for what she did to you; truly, I am. Part of me will always hate her for that. But I tried to stop her. You know just as well as I do though that once Bella has her mind set on something, it’s hard to stop.”
“You’re so full of crap,” Andromeda spat. “Bellatrix would do anything for you; that much was painfully clear even when we were children.”
“Regardless, that still doesn’t give you the right to just leave me to be tortured by Mum!” Narcissa screamed, sick of this back and forth. “You have no idea what she did to me after you left!”
“Why should I care?!” Andromeda exclaimed, pointing at her angrily. “You never came to my aid when Mum beat me; you only ran to Bellatrix. You never gave a sod when she used to make my life a living hell; you only sought to save Bellatrix. You never cared about me, so why do you expect that I should care about you?!”
“I did care!” Narcissa protested. “I did!”
Andromeda shook her head angrily, turning to look out the window as the train started to make its way out of King’s Cross station. Narcissa stared at her, jaw trembling as she fought back to urge to either cry or lash out. They were silent for a moment, each trying to collect themselves. They refused to be weak in front of the other.
“Where did you go?” Narcissa asked finally, needing to know.
Andromeda didn’t look at her as she answered, “I’m living with my boyfriend.”
“And who the bloody hell is that?”
Andromeda turned to face her, face stone cold. “His name is Ted Tonks. He’s a wonderful man; treats me well. Something, I expect, you’ve never had; no matter who claims they love you. His parents took me in without a second thought; they’re decent people.”
Narcissa wracked her brain, trying to figure out who he was. She didn’t remember a Ted Tonks in Slytherin. Then it hit her. “The Hufflepuff?!” she shrieked, disgusted. “He’s a mudblood, Andy!”
Andromeda shot her a scathing look. “Don’t you dare berate me about my choice in partners when you spread your legs for our sister like a dirty harlot! At least I’m not sleeping with someone I’m related to!”
Narcissa’s eyes flashed and her hand shot out of its own accord, connecting with her sister’s cheek. “I am not a harlot!” she exclaimed, offended. “Unlike you, I’ve kept my chastity intact.”
Andromeda laughed bitterly, rubbing the side of her face that was just assaulted. “Just because you refrain from sexual intercourse with Lucius, doesn’t mean your chastity is intact. Bellatrix may be a woman, but its sex regardless.” She looked her over, nose turning up in disgust. “God, I don’t know how you can stand to let her touch you like that. You’re fucking sick, Narcissa.”
“I am nothing of the sort! I love Bella; she may be my sister but she’s the only one who’s ever stood by me. Loyalty like that… it doesn’t matter if she’s my kin or not. You say that I didn’t care when Mum beat you? You didn’t care when she beat me either. Bellatrix was the one who tried to save me from that, not you. And you know what? At least I sleep with purebloods. You… ugh; you’re an abomination to our race.”
“And you’re an abomination to human nature,” Andromeda replied shortly, shooting daggers in her direction. “Does he know?” she asked suddenly. “Lucius? Does he know you like to be bedded by your own kin?” A threat lingered behind her words.
“Don’t you dare.”
If Andromeda told him what was going on, their engagement would surely be over. He already suspected, but to confirm it would be the end of them. Andromeda smirked, knowing for once she had the upper hand. It seemed to make her unnervingly happy all of a sudden.
“How much is my silence worth to you?” Andromeda asked, leaning back against her seat and crossing her arms in front of her chest. Narcissa wanted to slap that cocky look off of her face, but instead clenched her fist.
“The second I tell Bella you’re trying to blackmail me, she’ll kill you.” If Andromeda was going to throw around threats, then so would she.
“You’d let her?” Andromeda countered. Narcissa just stared at her, trying to look intimidating but apparently failing miserably at it. Andromeda smirked. “No, you couldn’t,” she answered for her. “You wouldn’t be able to bare it; having my blood on your hands. So let’s not pretend you’ll even speak a word of this to Bellatrix, shall we?”
Narcissa just glared at her. She was right. She fucking hated that, but she was right. It was so messed up, their relationship coming to this. Andromeda felt so betrayed; so scorned by the two of them, that she didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care about their well-being anymore and it frustrated Narcissa that no matter how angry she got, she still cared about hers.
“What do you want?” she asked flatly.
“I was cut out of the family fortune,” Andromeda told her. “Surely you must have known that I wouldn’t get my inheritance. I have nothing, Narcissa.”
Narcissa stared at her. She knew what she was implying, but didn’t want it to actually be said. “So you heard about Mother and Father then,” she answered instead. She wasn’t sure she knew they died.
“I read the papers,” Andromeda answered casually. “Handiwork of Bellatrix, I assume; coming to your rescue once again. Not that it matters. I want what’s mine; I assume after I was written out my part was distributed evenly between the both of you. Whether you want to take it from just your account or hers, I don’t care, but I will not be left with nothing. I paid blood for that.” She paused, then finished a little softer, “We all did.”
“And your trust fund?” Narcissa asked evenly, knowing that was coming. After all, they did have two large sums of money coming to them after their parents died.
Andromeda waved it off. “I have no use for it. Unlike you, I don’t need to live in wealth. I just need to get by. I’d rather not have any amount of blood money in my possession, but right now it’s my only opinion. I will not be left in poverty.”
“How do you expect me to get your half from Bella?” Narcissa asked, knowing it was a slim chance Bellatrix would let her in her vault. She couldn’t exactly think of a good excuse to, and she couldn’t tell her sister what was going on.
“Like I said, I don’t care where it comes from, just so long as I have it,” Andromeda answered. “After Christmas break, I expect you to bring it to me.”
“And then?” Narcissa asked, jaw clenched. She hated feeling backed into all of this. Is this what her life was going to be like now? It seemed Bellatrix and her spent more time taking the necessary precautions to hide their relationship rather than actually having one recently.
“And then I keep my mouth shut. Afterwards, you and I will go our separate ways, never to speak to each other again.”
“Never?” Narcissa asked, wishing she didn’t sound so damn upset about that. Sure, maybe things were bad between them now, but Andromeda was her sister. She was her blood. She didn’t want… damnit; she didn’t want any of this. But she supposed it was too late now. They had each made their bed.
“Never.”
Narcissa clenched her jaw and rose from her seat. “Fine,” she replied shortly. “You’ll have your money. Afterwards I expect you to keep your word, lest you wish Bellatrix hunting you down.” She shot her a scathing look before she turned, exiting the compartment. She felt like crying, but held it in. Proper women do not cry in public.
Then again, with all of her indiscretions in her life, she very much doubted she’d ever be a proper woman.
School, despite teachers breathing down their necks about O.W.Ls, went by pretty quickly. Narcissa barely had any free time due to all of the studying she was meant to do, but then again, neither did anyone else in her year. It was like being jailed almost, with how strict everything was now. If you were found out and about in the corridors and were spotted by a teacher, you’d be subjecting yourself to a droning lecture about how important your studies are, followed by them shooing you back to either your common room or the library, whichever was closer.
The homework itself was practically unbearable and the added stress was not helping Narcissa remember to eat. Whenever things got too hectic, it was like her brain was trained to shut off hunger. Of course Lucius took notice of this immediately and it quickly became rather irritating when he wouldn’t let Narcissa get up from the Slytherin table unless she consumed something. He was discreet about it, of course, but it didn’t make it less annoying. She couldn’t complain about it openly lest they were overheard, so she was basically stuck with having to do what she was told. Which, of course, didn’t sit well with Narcissa: she didn’t exactly like being expected to obey.
She was grateful for Lucius’ help with her studies though. Without him, she knew she would surely fail quite a lot of her subjects. She just didn’t have the concentration needed to do well in school. It worried her at first that he would think badly of her, finally knowing how stupid she was, but he didn’t seem to bother him. Narcissa actually believed he may like teaching her; it always gave him a bit of an ego, to be better than someone else at something.
It probably didn’t help her stress that Bellatrix was furious with her. A howler came a week after school had started; she was furious that Narcissa had taken her potions and the letter contained some pretty colorful language and a promise, or maybe even a threat, that they would have a ‘conversation’ when she came back for Christmas vacation.
Narcissa was not looking forward to that at all.
It was a mid-afternoon in early December when Lucius found Narcissa lounging in the Slytherin Common Room, looking less than pleased as she continuously flicked her wand at the fireplace, making the flames jump from the logs every now and again.
“Why aren’t you in class?” Lucius asked, astounded to see her sitting there.
“I don’t feel like it,” Narcissa answered shortly, refusing to look at him as she continued to toy with the flames in the fireplace. This seemed to make Lucius rather uneasy.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” he told her, coming over to sit on the chair across from her. “You look cross and you may accidently set the common room on fire. Your emotions can cause-”
“Just leave me alone, Lucius.” She wasn’t not in the mood to speak to anyone, especially him. He had forgotten, just like everyone else did. Though she supposed that was to be expected. No one gave a toss about her.
Lucius looked at her for a moment, as if trying to decipher he expression. He couldn’t seem to though. “Look, I have a free period since Professor Binns is… well, ruddy boring and I didn’t feel like going, so if you’d like to go over your Charms studies…”
“Piss off.”
Lucius looked at her indignantly. “Is it your time of the month?” he asked, quite rudely. Narcissa turned to look at him, offense plastered on her expression.
“Excuse me?” Men didn’t ask about that sort of thing, it was completely improper!
“Well you’re cross with me for no reason, it only stood to reason,” Lucius explained, looking a bit flustered for bringing up something so… personal. “I was only trying to help you, but if you wish to get ‘Troll’ plastered across all your O.W.Ls…”
“I am not a ‘Troll’! I’m at least a… ‘Poor’, if anything,” Narcissa replied, feeling incredibly offended. “I’m not a daft as you make me out to be, you know.”
“I didn’t mean… ugh,” Lucius tried, though apparently gave up halfway through. He rubbed his temples and took a breath. “Please, just let me help you. You can come up to the sixth year boy’s dormitory with me, it’ll be empty and we’ll have some privacy. Please.”
Narcissa stared at him for a moment, debating on cursing him out, but didn’t feel like ruining their relationship any more. Besides, she was kind of rubbish at Charms and if she continued to tell him to fuck off then there was a large chance that he would stop helping her completely. She would pretty much be doomed then in regards to her studies. So she sighed in annoyance and got up.
“Fine.”
Lucius didn’t look entirely thrilled by her attitude, but got up as well to lead her up the stairs. Narcissa trudged behind him, still bitter he forgot something that was actually fucking important… at least that was until she saw the dormitories. She stopped short once they got through the door, mouth agape.
“Holy shit,” she breathed.
What could only be assumed as Lucius’ bed was piled high with presents. He had a few candles lit around the exterior of the bed, which in the dim light gave it a very romantic-like glow. Narcissa immediately felt her anger disappear and she turned to him, astounded. “I thought you forgot.”
“I’m not that much of an arse that I forgot your birthday, Narcissa,” Lucius replied, chuckling lightly. “Though you did make it difficult to surprise you.”
“Well I had thought you’d forgotten!” Narcissa protested. “I was… angry.” Understatement.
“Obviously. But I couldn’t very well tell you I’d remembered, otherwise it wouldn’t be a surprise.” He put his hand on the small of her back, encouraging her forward. “Go on, see what you got.”
Narcissa bit her bottom lip in excitement as she smiled. She didn’t waste a second before she took off running towards the bed; Lucius laughed when she jumped on the mattress, grabbing the first present she saw and tearing into it. Lucius closed the dormitory door behind them before he walked over to the bed to join her.
“Oh my god!” she squealed as she opened one of the boxes, finding a gorgeous emerald necklace inside. “Lucius, this is beautiful.” She looked up at him, smiling so wide that her cheeks began to ache. But she didn’t care; she was just glad her birthday was turning out all right. She had yet to even get a letter from her sister, which kind of devastated her. Even if she was still angry, she should at least send well wishes.
“I had hoped you’d wear it to our engagement party,” Lucius mentioned, sitting beside her on the bed. Narcissa bit her bottom lip in glee, looking down at it. She nodded excitedly.
“Does this mean I can finally wear my ring?” she asked, looking back up at him.
“You’re fifteen now; I don’t see why not. I think it’s about time we were official, don’t you?” Narcissa merely grinned in response, still nodding like a fool.
She looked over the amount of presents and the candlelight before inquiring, “How did you get the whole dorm to agree to let us have some privacy?” She was sure the whole girls’ dorm would laugh in her face if she ever requested something like that.
“I bribed them,” Lucius said simply, smirking. “I wanted it to just be the two of us.”
Narcissa smirked. “Is this another; you give me pretty things and make me happy, you possibly find your cock getting attention, kind of thing?” She was only teasing him, but the way his cheeks turned a little rosy, it was clear that he might have been hoping for that sort of thing.
“I would never assume anything like that,” he protested. “I just… wanted to give you something nice for your birthday, perhaps move past all the… unpleasantness we found ourselves in recently.”
Narcissa probably should have been thinking something along the lines of how she wanted to move past that as well, however the only thought that actually came into her mind was: It’d be nice to have sex with someone for my birthday. Usually it was her sister doting upon her, but this time she couldn’t even be bothered to send an owl. Narcissa looked up at Lucius beneath her lashes, chewing on her bottom lip as she contemplated the idea of sex with him. Well, not sex sex with him; they probably shouldn’t be doing that until they’re married, but perhaps… oral sex could be acceptable compromise. It would be nice to be pleasured by someone she loved today; it was a special day after all. Or at least it was supposed to be.
“Narcissa?”
Narcissa realized she had been staring at him for a long time in silence and immediately flushed in embarrassment. “Sorry I… was only thinking.” Lucius cocked an eyebrow, smirking at her clear embarrassment.
“About?” he prodded. She had a feeling he already knew.
“About… opening the rest of these presents,” Narcissa avoided, a little hesitant about being forthright about it; she didn’t want to seem sleazy. Lucius looked a little disappointed, but didn’t say anything as Narcissa grabbed for the next neatly wrapped box.
However, sometime after Narcissa unwrapped a ridiculously expensive dress, the rest of the presents found themselves pushed off the bed, forgotten about. She was sure it was her who moved first, but eventually she found herself underneath Lucius in nothing but her knickers, gasping softly and grabbing at his back as he made quick work of doting upon her nipples. Maybe it did make her a bit of a slag; practically jumping on him just because he bought her an array of pretty things, but part of her just wanted to have a good birthday for once. Her last birthday was anything but. Besides, she was desperate for things to be better between them and perhaps being sexually intimate with each other would help with that.
She tore at his school robes, wanting to see all of him for once. For how long they had been dating, she had never once seen his cock. He complied quickly, ridding the material from his body. When Lucius slipped his hand beneath Narcissa’s knickers she gasped, pulling on his own undergarments roughly. She wanted them off of him and when he looked down at her, a questioning look in his eye as if asking ‘are you sure?’, she merely surged upwards to connect their lips as she continued to help him out of his underwear. She didn’t want this to become awkward with questions and pauses.
Perhaps it was a bad idea, the both of them being naked in bed with one another. Temptation with something like that could prove to be too great. But at the moment, Narcissa didn’t care. She just wanted to feel. She wanted to be consumed. She wanted to be loved, completely.
She kicked off her own panties and spread her legs, allowing him to get in between them. His hardened member rubbed up against her clit and she groaned, tangling her fingers in his hair as she began to kiss him feverously, desperately. Lucius’ breathing was ragged against her lips, his firm hands grabbing at her hips in a manner so possessive it had her dripping. Her submissive nature was probably due mostly to her sister, but she found out quickly that it extended to Lucius too. She liked being beneath him; she liked being owned by him, controlled by him. Perhaps not outside of the bedroom, but right now she loved the way he was taking control.
A moan escaped her lips when his teeth sunk into her neck. It wasn’t hard, but it was hard enough. One of her hands tangled in his hair while the other made its way down his back, grabbing his arse before sliding it downwards, encouraging him to lift his hips a little. He complied and without thought her hand wrapped around his cock. Narcissa wasn’t quite sure what the hell she was doing, as she had never done this before outside of that little tryst with her first boyfriend, but she seemed to be doing something right by the groan that left Lucius’ lips, the low sound right next to her ear sending a shiver down her spine.
With each stroke, the tip of his penis and her hand would bump into her clit, sending sparks of pleasure right to her core. Their lips met again; a mess of tongue and desperation as he pushed his hips into her. Narcissa had a brief moment to be thankful she was so turned on, because if she had a moment to think she probably wouldn’t be able to do this without an incredibly amount of nervousness. However, thinking didn’t exactly seem to be on the menu for Lucius either, because he quickly reached down, pushing Narcissa’s hand away for a moment. Narcissa didn’t even have a second to wonder why, until suddenly Lucius positioned himself at her entrance… and pushed into her. Not exactly carefully either.
“FUCK!” Narcissa screamed, pain ripping through her groin and abdomen. Tears sprung to the back of her eyes and she nearly sobbed outright, her entire lower body feeling like it was getting ripped to shreds whilst on the worst period of her life. The sharp pain was at her entrance, but the pain in her abdomen felt like that of menstrual cramps from hell.
“Oh shit!” Lucius exclaimed, suddenly realizing what he just did. “Oh fuck, I am so sorry Narcissa, I wasn’t thinking…! Shit, shit, shit.” He moved to pull out, but that only stood to aggravate her entrance even more and she shrieked, slapping her hands against his shoulders.
“Stop, stop! Don’t move!”
Lucius stilled himself immediately, a guilty look plastered on his face as he looked down at his fiancée. She put her arm over her eyes, biting her lower lip hard as she tried not to cry. It wasn’t just the pain, it was everything. What if now that he could take what he wanted, he would call off the engagement? Nothing was set in stone until they were married and she didn’t… she couldn’t be someone else’s trash!
A sob escaped her lips.
“No, Narcissa; don’t cry…” Lucius tried, sounding remorseful. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to do it. I wanted to but I didn’t… I didn’t think and-”
She wasn’t listening though. “Oh god, you’re going to leave me now, aren’t you?” Narcissa interrupted, sounding horribly distressed. She was trying to stop crying, but it wasn’t exactly working. Her mind was plagued with fear.
“What?” Lucius asked, sounding terribly confused. “No, of course not. Why would you think…?”
Narcissa ripped her arm away from her eyes, slamming it down on the bed. She looked up at him, her bottom lip trembling. “You said you wanted me chaste for our wedding night. Now I’m… fuck, now I’m…” she couldn’t even bring herself to say it. She didn’t even want to think it.
“No, Narcissa, that’s not-I mean for fuck’s sake, we’re engaged anyway, that’s practically the same thing anyway,” he amended quickly. He looked down at her, worried by how upset she appeared. He touched her face gently, trying to reassure her. “I swear to you, I won’t leave. You’re to be my wife. Besides,” he went on, giving her a little half smile, “I know there’s tradition, but… perhaps we don’t have to follow the rules exactly. I mean, times change.”
“I know most of our traditions are bollocks, Lucius, but they’re still traditions and while most people these days don’t seem obliged to uphold them, I at least-”
Lucius cut off her ramble with a searing kiss. When they broke he looked down at her and whispered, “I want to make love to you, Narcissa.”
Narcissa’s heart skipped a beat.
“I promise I won’t leave, nor think less of you,” Lucius told her. He sounded a little like he was begging, but Narcissa supposed any man would when they had their dick inside someone and then was told to stop in the middle. “I just want to show you how much I love you,” Lucius finished, which… all right, won him a couple points. It may have just been a line, but it did work.
It hurt though… fuck it hurt; even still, when they weren’t moving. But Narcissa already knew she was bleeding. If he didn’t break her hymen completely, he at least tore part of it. Narcissa wasn’t sure what that meant for her virginity. Even if she didn’t let him, would it be gone? Would this be the moment that she forever remembered, only for it never to have been a moment at all?
She didn’t want that. She… she needed it to be done right, if it was to be done at all. And, well, it seemed they had already started. Narcissa looked up at him, chewing on her bottom lip. She prayed silently that Lucius would be good on his word and that this wouldn’t backfire on her, before she finally, slowly, nodded in compliance. “Okay,” she whispered. “Just… go slow. Please? Everything… everything hurts…”
“I won’t hurt you,” Lucius promised softly before he leaned in, connecting their lips again. While their kisses before were rushed, desperate… this time it was slow, romantic. Lucius continued to kiss her for a bit, trying to get her back in the mood before he pushed forward, both literally and metaphorically. But the pain was forever present in her nether regions and finally Narcissa broke the kiss, begging him.
“Just do it.”
She was sure, like her and her sister’s experiment with anal sex, that it would stop hurting after a bit if they would only get on with it. And she was right; however the pain before getting there was practically unbearable. Her nails dug into the flesh of his back and she gritted her teeth, eyes shut tightly as he pushed past the last, flimsy barrier of her hymen… or what was left of it. She tried not to cry out, but she whimpered pathetically beneath him as he moved within her, praying the pain would dull soon.
It felt like forever until it did.
It didn’t cease completely, but after awhile the pleasure overrode the pain. It wasn’t exactly as she had always imagined it to be; fireworks and all that, but it did feel good. It was such an intimate feeling; having another person inside of you, filling you completely. It was sexy, different; exciting. But though it was pleasurable, it felt like it wasn’t enough. While Lucius began to pick up his pace, pounding into her a little harder now that she could stand it, her hand flew down to put pressure on her clit. The combined feeling made her cry out Lucius’ name and she tossed her head to the side, her lips just slightly parted as she began to whimper in need beneath him.
His hot, ragged breath was on her neck and his hand had enveloped Narcissa’s breast, squeezing it in a way that would probably border on painful, if all her nerve endings weren’t already being stimulated to the point of complete ecstasy in her nether regions. That seemed to be about the only thing she could concentrate on. He pushed in deeper, a husky whisper of, “God, you’re so fucking sexy,” falling from his lips and Narcissa cried out, pressing her fingers against her clit harder as she realized very suddenly that, holy shit, she was about to come.
She had come for him once before, but it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t this intimate, it wasn’t this special. All of her life, Narcissa saved the special moments just for her sister; everything, all of it, was hers and no one else’s. Now, for the first time in her life, she was giving something to someone else before Bellatrix. It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time.
“Fuck… Lucius… oh, fuck…” she panted, feeling the pleasure start to overwhelm her. Her other hand tangled in his hair, gripping it tightly as she buried her head in his neck, her hips frantically bucking against his. Her back arched and her toes curled as she cried out, her screams muffled by his skin. She was sure her nails were tearing into his scalp, but he either didn’t feel it or didn’t care. The second her inner walls started spasming, he groaned loudly, his fingers digging into Narcissa’s hip. And then… and then she felt it.
During her own orgasmic haze, she barely even registered what was happening until it was already over. Perhaps if they were both in a better frame of mind, or perhaps if they thought about the consequences of what they were doing, besides the magnitude of the step they were taking, one of them would have remembered. But as it stood, it seemed neither of them realized what they just did until it was too late. Narcissa felt him fill her up inside and she thought of nothing else other than how strange it felt until Lucius had collapsed on top of her and they both had a moment to breathe, to think. Then it came to her, like a slap in the face.
He wasn’t wearing a condom.
GO TO PART TWENTY TWO...