FIC: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my! (23b/?)
Name: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Also, for those who are interested, posted earlier was the first chapter of "Remember", a fic based on Adam set between Magic and Mayhem at the Rift and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Click here to read chapter 1.
Thank you, skullgirl013 , for beta'ing, as always, you're the best!
I don't really have anything to say about this chapter. :)
-runs back into entry to edit-
Other than; I'm after a second beta reader for the next story. I don't want someone to go through it line-for-line and find little tiny errors like double-spaces. I don't much care if I have a few typos. Typos happen, it doesn't detract from the story unless they're so glaring nothing makes sense.
But I want someone else to read through Come What May chapters in advance of my posting it (no, it's not done yet, but chapters will be written in advance of posting, unlike atm when I write a chapter then post it ten seconds later).
You won't be yelled abuse at like skullgirl is (bless her, she copes with my abuse so well!) and you're welcome to yell abuse at me when hypothetically I kill off blah or write out blah or make no sense or whatever.
Any takers? I can send chapters over MSN (possibly) or email or LJ. =)
Previous chapters: Ch.1 Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b Ch.17a Ch.17b Ch.18a Ch.18b Ch.19a Ch.19b Ch.19c Ch.20a Ch.20b Ch.20c Ch.21a Ch.21b Ch.21c Ch.22a Ch.22b Ch.22c Ch.23a
Chapter 23b: Promise.
15:47
“Hey, Slayer, nine-one-one calls coming through about a strange creature in Leckwith by the stadium ...” The computer beeped and Spike hit the button to bring up the next call. “Oh, and another by some shops.”
Buffy came out of Jack’s office and immediately reached for her jacket. “It’s nine-nine-nine,” she corrected, “and I wish the demons would start disappearing like the bees are.”
“How can bees disappear, seriously?” Spike said. “And how are you going to investigate both at the same time?”
“I’m not,” Buffy replied, slipping her leather jacket on around her shoulders. “Which one’s described as more dangerous?” she enquired, walking over to stand behind Spike, leaning on his back and looking over his shoulder as she slipped her phone into her pocket.
“Um, the stadium one,” Spike replied, leaning into her touch instinctively.
“Right. I’ll go for that one,” she said, kissing him on the cheek. “I’ll be on my earpiece. Anya and Tosh will be going for the shops.”
“Alright.” Spike touched the hand on his shoulder as he reached for his own earpiece, slipping it on. “Good luck and don't crash the SUV, Jack would kill you.”
“I got my licence didn’t I?” Buffy scoffed.
“No.” Spike raised an eyebrow. “Jack gave you one without realising you hadn’t earned it and you decided to just start using it.”
She giggled. “I learned to drive. I got Gwen to give me some lessons.”
“Gwen’s worse than you.”
She stuck her tongue out at him and ran through the cog door. He rolled his eyes.
She emerged into the remnants of the tourist office to find Anya and Tosh sat on the floor, deep in conversation. The desk was reassembled, although it looked messy, and they were leant against it.
“Guys, demon sighting,” she announced.
Anya looked at the clock on the floor, which had, amazingly, survived Jack’s assault on the tourist office. “It’s not even four yet,” she commented. “It’s the middle of the day!”
“You noticed too, huh?” Buffy smirked. “It could be an alien instead.”
“See previous statement.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “You two are going to check on the shops and I’m going to the stadium.”
“Two sightings?” Anya spluttered.
“Look, I either take you two out with me or Gwen and Owen.”
“I vote for Gwen and Owen,” she replied.
“I second that,” Tosh offered.
“Gwen whines and Owen will flirt with me and make crude suggestions. Plus, he won’t let me drive.”
Anya scrambled to her feet. “You are driving?” she exclaimed. “I’m definitely staying here then.”
Buffy pulled a face. “I’m not that bad,” she said.
“Are we forgetting what you told me happened to your mom’s car the one time you drove it?” Anya demanded.
Buffy whimpered.
“What happened to it?” Tosh asked, using Anya’s hand to pull herself to her feet.
“Totalled.”
Tosh’s eyes widened. “I’m staying, too.”
“I’m in charge while Jack’s away so what I say goes,” Buffy said. “And I say stop picking on me.”
The three of them giggled together for a moment before Anya said, “I’ll just get my coat.”
16:04
“Alright,” Buffy said, pulling the SUV to a halt by the kerb. “This is your stop, guys. I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour.”
Tosh and Anya prised their fingers free of the seating they’d been clinging onto for dear life. “Uh huh. Okay,” Tosh stammered, shoving open the door and half-falling out in her hurry to escape. Anya did the same the other side. They closed the doors with a loud slam each and were walking towards the shops when Buffy called out.
They looked round.
“Be safe, okay?” Buffy said. “I don't want to lose either of you.”
“Thanks!” Tosh said, with a grin.
“I don't want to have to cope with a distraught best friend.” Buffy grinned before putting the window up and driving off.
Tosh rolled her eyes then turned to Anya. “Okay, let’s do this thing,” she said, as they headed towards the shops.
They walked in silence for a moment before Tosh asked. “So, you and Xander. How long have you been together?”
Anya, without any thought at all, said, “Almost five years.” She turned to Tosh, smiling brightly. “I can give you the number of days, if you want?”
Tosh smiled but shook her head. “No, years is fine. You really love him, don't you?”
“He’s my husband,” Anya replied.
“ Yes, I know. I was at the wedding. I gave you my bracelet. I still want that back, by the way.” Anya looked shamed. “But not everyone gets married to those they love. Some marry because they’re pregnant or ...”
“I’m not pregnant,” Anya said, quickly. “Babies have to be planned for or they ruin your life. Like travelling between universes.”
“You planned coming here?” Tosh asked.
“No,” Anya said, quickly.
“But it didn’t ruin your life ...” Tosh pointed out.
“No, but Xander and I would have been married long ago if we hadn’t have come through!”
“Or something terrible might have happened. Your lives aren’t exactly safe. Xander could have died, or you!”
Anya shuddered. “I think that was the hardest part of becoming human,” she said, in a small voice. “Knowing I’m going to die one day.”
Tosh reached out and put her arm around Anya’s back, pulling her into a brief half-hug. “Not for a long time, Anya Harris,” she said, with a smile.
“How can you know that, though?” Anya said. “I’m mortal. Human! I was going to live forever but now ...”
“How old are you?”
“One thousand one hundred and twenty thereabouts,” Anya said. “I lost track for a while.”
Tosh laughed. “You give Jack a run for his money.”
“How old is Jack?”
Tosh put her hands up in mock-surrender. “Don't ask me! I have no idea. I looked him up and when we met him he was something like three hundred. That’s assuming he didn’t spend a lot of time in other times.”
Anya blinked.
“Now, however, after Gray and everything...” Tosh shuddered. “He must be almost two-thousand. If not older.”
“I had all of eternity to do whatever I wanted ... now I have a minuscule amount of time for sex and marriage and love and babies!”
“Babies?” Tosh smiled. “You and Xander want kids?”
“Xander keeps telling me we’ll ‘talk about it soon’. I think he thinks they’ll end up hurt because of everything. I mean, how much danger would they be in? It’s not like I go out in the field much.”
Tosh gestured around her. “Uhh...”
“I know, I know!” Anya said. “But not often.”
“Come on,” Tosh said, pointing towards a nearby shop. “That’s where the nine-nine-nine call was placed. Let’s go ask around.”
Anya pointed at the shop next to it. “We don't have to,” she said. There, by the other shop, was a bright green demon. He was arguing, visibly, with the shop keeper, who was refusing to take money for a bottle of alcohol he was buying.
The two women ran across and Tosh held up her I.D. to the shop keeper. “We’re Torchwood, we’ll deal with this.”
Lorne rounded on the two of them. “Why won’t you Torchwood people leave me alone?” he said, with a sigh. He held up the bottle. “All I’m trying to do is buy this. First you take pictures of me, then you send that guy to find out what I’m all about ... I’m trying to open a karaoke bar, alright?”
Tosh blinked at him. “You’re ... you trying to what?”
“Well, it seems that whenever I open a bar I lose it in some way. Angel’s destroyed it twice so far and now I’m here and I’ve lost it again.” He gestured at the bottle. “I thought if I could get some samples of this world’s liquor I could decide what to serve and get completely sloshed at the same time.” He shrugged. “Fine by you?”
Tosh giggled. “I suppose so,” she said. “As long as you don't eat people or serve blood.”
“Pig’s blood or donated human blood. After all, I get vampire customers. Angel always drank me out of stock ...”
Anya put her hand up. “Did you say ‘Angel’?”
Lorne nodded. “Yep. I said Angelcake’s name, why?”
Anya giggled at the nickname.
“No reason,” Tosh said. “But, um, you’re not planning to go on a killing spree, right?”
Lorne shook his head. “I’m vegetarian.”
“So are a lot of killers,” Anya pointed out.
“I meant I don't kill things I don't plan to eat. I don't kill things period, actually.” He looked offended at the thought. “Not all demons are cold-blooded killers or vengeance demons.”
Anya stiffened, but Tosh put a calming hand on her arm. “Alright,” Tosh said. She walked past him and stood toe-to-toe with the shopkeeper, staring him down although she was drastically smaller than him. “Look, Cardiff is being overrun with those with ...” She glanced at Lorne. “... skin conditions ...” she coughed out. “... if you don't like it, leave. Otherwise, just serve this guy.” The bartender nodded, nervously, and Tosh walked away again, smiling at Lorne.
“Come on,” she said to Anya. “Let’s go wait for Buffy.”
“Hey! Drop by some time when I get the place open!” Lorne shouted after them. They waved without looking back.
“Wonder what he’d sing,” Tosh said, with a giggle.
“I can think of something,” Anya said, then started singing.
“Since folks here to an absurd degree, seem fixated on your verdigris...”
Tosh laughed and joined in. “Would it be all right by you? If I de-greenify you?”
They laughed together as they ran off towards the car park
Behind them, Lorne let his eyelids close, before opening them again, a tear falling from one eye and making a track down one cheek. “Oh, my dear,” he said, sadly, as the future flashed through his head. “I’m so sorry.”
Next: Chapter 23c
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Also, for those who are interested, posted earlier was the first chapter of "Remember", a fic based on Adam set between Magic and Mayhem at the Rift and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Click here to read chapter 1.
Thank you, skullgirl013 , for beta'ing, as always, you're the best!
I don't really have anything to say about this chapter. :)
-runs back into entry to edit-
Other than; I'm after a second beta reader for the next story. I don't want someone to go through it line-for-line and find little tiny errors like double-spaces. I don't much care if I have a few typos. Typos happen, it doesn't detract from the story unless they're so glaring nothing makes sense.
But I want someone else to read through Come What May chapters in advance of my posting it (no, it's not done yet, but chapters will be written in advance of posting, unlike atm when I write a chapter then post it ten seconds later).
You won't be yelled abuse at like skullgirl is (bless her, she copes with my abuse so well!) and you're welcome to yell abuse at me when hypothetically I kill off blah or write out blah or make no sense or whatever.
Any takers? I can send chapters over MSN (possibly) or email or LJ. =)
Previous chapters: Ch.1 Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b Ch.17a Ch.17b Ch.18a Ch.18b Ch.19a Ch.19b Ch.19c Ch.20a Ch.20b Ch.20c Ch.21a Ch.21b Ch.21c Ch.22a Ch.22b Ch.22c Ch.23a
Chapter 23b: Promise.
15:47
“Hey, Slayer, nine-one-one calls coming through about a strange creature in Leckwith by the stadium ...” The computer beeped and Spike hit the button to bring up the next call. “Oh, and another by some shops.”
Buffy came out of Jack’s office and immediately reached for her jacket. “It’s nine-nine-nine,” she corrected, “and I wish the demons would start disappearing like the bees are.”
“How can bees disappear, seriously?” Spike said. “And how are you going to investigate both at the same time?”
“I’m not,” Buffy replied, slipping her leather jacket on around her shoulders. “Which one’s described as more dangerous?” she enquired, walking over to stand behind Spike, leaning on his back and looking over his shoulder as she slipped her phone into her pocket.
“Um, the stadium one,” Spike replied, leaning into her touch instinctively.
“Right. I’ll go for that one,” she said, kissing him on the cheek. “I’ll be on my earpiece. Anya and Tosh will be going for the shops.”
“Alright.” Spike touched the hand on his shoulder as he reached for his own earpiece, slipping it on. “Good luck and don't crash the SUV, Jack would kill you.”
“I got my licence didn’t I?” Buffy scoffed.
“No.” Spike raised an eyebrow. “Jack gave you one without realising you hadn’t earned it and you decided to just start using it.”
She giggled. “I learned to drive. I got Gwen to give me some lessons.”
“Gwen’s worse than you.”
She stuck her tongue out at him and ran through the cog door. He rolled his eyes.
She emerged into the remnants of the tourist office to find Anya and Tosh sat on the floor, deep in conversation. The desk was reassembled, although it looked messy, and they were leant against it.
“Guys, demon sighting,” she announced.
Anya looked at the clock on the floor, which had, amazingly, survived Jack’s assault on the tourist office. “It’s not even four yet,” she commented. “It’s the middle of the day!”
“You noticed too, huh?” Buffy smirked. “It could be an alien instead.”
“See previous statement.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “You two are going to check on the shops and I’m going to the stadium.”
“Two sightings?” Anya spluttered.
“Look, I either take you two out with me or Gwen and Owen.”
“I vote for Gwen and Owen,” she replied.
“I second that,” Tosh offered.
“Gwen whines and Owen will flirt with me and make crude suggestions. Plus, he won’t let me drive.”
Anya scrambled to her feet. “You are driving?” she exclaimed. “I’m definitely staying here then.”
Buffy pulled a face. “I’m not that bad,” she said.
“Are we forgetting what you told me happened to your mom’s car the one time you drove it?” Anya demanded.
Buffy whimpered.
“What happened to it?” Tosh asked, using Anya’s hand to pull herself to her feet.
“Totalled.”
Tosh’s eyes widened. “I’m staying, too.”
“I’m in charge while Jack’s away so what I say goes,” Buffy said. “And I say stop picking on me.”
The three of them giggled together for a moment before Anya said, “I’ll just get my coat.”
16:04
“Alright,” Buffy said, pulling the SUV to a halt by the kerb. “This is your stop, guys. I’ll be back to pick you up in an hour.”
Tosh and Anya prised their fingers free of the seating they’d been clinging onto for dear life. “Uh huh. Okay,” Tosh stammered, shoving open the door and half-falling out in her hurry to escape. Anya did the same the other side. They closed the doors with a loud slam each and were walking towards the shops when Buffy called out.
They looked round.
“Be safe, okay?” Buffy said. “I don't want to lose either of you.”
“Thanks!” Tosh said, with a grin.
“I don't want to have to cope with a distraught best friend.” Buffy grinned before putting the window up and driving off.
Tosh rolled her eyes then turned to Anya. “Okay, let’s do this thing,” she said, as they headed towards the shops.
They walked in silence for a moment before Tosh asked. “So, you and Xander. How long have you been together?”
Anya, without any thought at all, said, “Almost five years.” She turned to Tosh, smiling brightly. “I can give you the number of days, if you want?”
Tosh smiled but shook her head. “No, years is fine. You really love him, don't you?”
“He’s my husband,” Anya replied.
“ Yes, I know. I was at the wedding. I gave you my bracelet. I still want that back, by the way.” Anya looked shamed. “But not everyone gets married to those they love. Some marry because they’re pregnant or ...”
“I’m not pregnant,” Anya said, quickly. “Babies have to be planned for or they ruin your life. Like travelling between universes.”
“You planned coming here?” Tosh asked.
“No,” Anya said, quickly.
“But it didn’t ruin your life ...” Tosh pointed out.
“No, but Xander and I would have been married long ago if we hadn’t have come through!”
“Or something terrible might have happened. Your lives aren’t exactly safe. Xander could have died, or you!”
Anya shuddered. “I think that was the hardest part of becoming human,” she said, in a small voice. “Knowing I’m going to die one day.”
Tosh reached out and put her arm around Anya’s back, pulling her into a brief half-hug. “Not for a long time, Anya Harris,” she said, with a smile.
“How can you know that, though?” Anya said. “I’m mortal. Human! I was going to live forever but now ...”
“How old are you?”
“One thousand one hundred and twenty thereabouts,” Anya said. “I lost track for a while.”
Tosh laughed. “You give Jack a run for his money.”
“How old is Jack?”
Tosh put her hands up in mock-surrender. “Don't ask me! I have no idea. I looked him up and when we met him he was something like three hundred. That’s assuming he didn’t spend a lot of time in other times.”
Anya blinked.
“Now, however, after Gray and everything...” Tosh shuddered. “He must be almost two-thousand. If not older.”
“I had all of eternity to do whatever I wanted ... now I have a minuscule amount of time for sex and marriage and love and babies!”
“Babies?” Tosh smiled. “You and Xander want kids?”
“Xander keeps telling me we’ll ‘talk about it soon’. I think he thinks they’ll end up hurt because of everything. I mean, how much danger would they be in? It’s not like I go out in the field much.”
Tosh gestured around her. “Uhh...”
“I know, I know!” Anya said. “But not often.”
“Come on,” Tosh said, pointing towards a nearby shop. “That’s where the nine-nine-nine call was placed. Let’s go ask around.”
Anya pointed at the shop next to it. “We don't have to,” she said. There, by the other shop, was a bright green demon. He was arguing, visibly, with the shop keeper, who was refusing to take money for a bottle of alcohol he was buying.
The two women ran across and Tosh held up her I.D. to the shop keeper. “We’re Torchwood, we’ll deal with this.”
Lorne rounded on the two of them. “Why won’t you Torchwood people leave me alone?” he said, with a sigh. He held up the bottle. “All I’m trying to do is buy this. First you take pictures of me, then you send that guy to find out what I’m all about ... I’m trying to open a karaoke bar, alright?”
Tosh blinked at him. “You’re ... you trying to what?”
“Well, it seems that whenever I open a bar I lose it in some way. Angel’s destroyed it twice so far and now I’m here and I’ve lost it again.” He gestured at the bottle. “I thought if I could get some samples of this world’s liquor I could decide what to serve and get completely sloshed at the same time.” He shrugged. “Fine by you?”
Tosh giggled. “I suppose so,” she said. “As long as you don't eat people or serve blood.”
“Pig’s blood or donated human blood. After all, I get vampire customers. Angel always drank me out of stock ...”
Anya put her hand up. “Did you say ‘Angel’?”
Lorne nodded. “Yep. I said Angelcake’s name, why?”
Anya giggled at the nickname.
“No reason,” Tosh said. “But, um, you’re not planning to go on a killing spree, right?”
Lorne shook his head. “I’m vegetarian.”
“So are a lot of killers,” Anya pointed out.
“I meant I don't kill things I don't plan to eat. I don't kill things period, actually.” He looked offended at the thought. “Not all demons are cold-blooded killers or vengeance demons.”
Anya stiffened, but Tosh put a calming hand on her arm. “Alright,” Tosh said. She walked past him and stood toe-to-toe with the shopkeeper, staring him down although she was drastically smaller than him. “Look, Cardiff is being overrun with those with ...” She glanced at Lorne. “... skin conditions ...” she coughed out. “... if you don't like it, leave. Otherwise, just serve this guy.” The bartender nodded, nervously, and Tosh walked away again, smiling at Lorne.
“Come on,” she said to Anya. “Let’s go wait for Buffy.”
“Hey! Drop by some time when I get the place open!” Lorne shouted after them. They waved without looking back.
“Wonder what he’d sing,” Tosh said, with a giggle.
“I can think of something,” Anya said, then started singing.
“Since folks here to an absurd degree, seem fixated on your verdigris...”
Tosh laughed and joined in. “Would it be all right by you? If I de-greenify you?”
They laughed together as they ran off towards the car park
Behind them, Lorne let his eyelids close, before opening them again, a tear falling from one eye and making a track down one cheek. “Oh, my dear,” he said, sadly, as the future flashed through his head. “I’m so sorry.”
Next: Chapter 23c