FIC: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my! (17a/?)
Name: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
So because I was dubbed as 'mean' for where I left the previous chapter, I decided to get part A of chapter 17 out tonight. Even though I'm dropping with tiredness. It just felt right.
Anyway, here it is. Part B is written and everything and will be posted at some point tomorrow.
Enjoy while I crawl into bed and pass out.
Previous chapters: Ch.1, Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b
Chapter 17a: Reasoning.
Monday 19th August
13:41
“Ianto Jones, will you marry me?”
Ianto closed his eyes and bit his lip before answering.
“No, Jack, I’m sorry. I won’t.”
Jack stared at him, stunned into silence. “What?”
“I don’t want to marry you, Jack ...” Ianto said, quietly.
“Why not?”
“Because ...” Ianto took a deep breath. “Because, firstly, you have a habit of running off on us. I don’t want to be tied to you if you’re going to leave me again.”
Jack swallowed and let his fingers slide from Ianto’s hand. “I’m not going to leave you again,” he said, softly.
“You can’t promise me that, Jack,” Ianto breathed. “If something happens and you have to go ... I don’t want to be the one holding you back.”
“You never hold me back,” Jack replied, firmly.
Ianto shook his head. “But if you promise to stay ... and you want to go, it’ll be that promise keeping you here. Not love.”
“What if I promised to always come back?”
Ianto closed his eyes. “Jack ...”
“Ianto, I love you and I want to be with you. Nothing can stop me from doing that. Not aliens, not demons, not Torchwood, not even the Doctor. I will always find my way home to you,” Jack promised.
“That’s not the only reason, though,” Ianto said, pushing how sincere Jack sounded from his mind.
“What are the others?” Jack asked, his voice cracking slightly.
“I don't want to be bound under that which hates us.”
“What?”
“Marriage. It stems from a religion that hates same-sex marriage,” Ianto said, reverting to cold facts to keep his voice even.
Jack sighed. “We could sign Civil Partnership papers. Not even call it marriage.”
“It would still be marriage.”
“No, it wouldn't. It would be a Civil Partnership. Hence the name.” Jack offered Ianto a rakish smile, which was returned. “Nothing about it would have any connection to marriage. Apart from the fact we’d be bound together. We wouldn't even have to wear rings if you didn’t want to.” Jack sounded a little sad at the last bit.
“We could ... I suppose,” Ianto said, carefully.
“Really?” There was hope in Jack’s voice.
“That’s not all though.”
“Oh?” The hope faded.
“I’d expect total fidelity.”
Jack blinked. “You have that already,” he said. “I thought you knew that?”
Ianto averted his eyes. “I just ...”
“I told you a long time ago that I would never cheat on you.”
Ianto muttered something under his breath.
“Pardon?” Jack said, cautiously.
“I never feel like I’m enough for you,” Ianto said, his voice barely a whisper.
“What?” Jack breathed. Ianto looked up again, their eyes locking. Jack’s were pained.
“I just feel like I’m not good enough. You’re so perfect and I’m so ... not. I betrayed you, I called you a monster and I make so many mistakes ...” Ianto bit his lip again.
Jack blinked at him, rapidly, and then started laughing.
Ianto looked up, mortified. “Jack!”
“I’m not perfect, you idiot,” Jack said, through his hysterics. “I’m anything but. I’ve made more mistakes in the past ten years than you have in your entire lifetime. I’m ‘wrong’...”
“You’re not wrong,” Ianto insisted.
“... I flirt with everything that moves to the point that you feel insecure ... and I don't deserve someone as good as you.”
Ianto rolled his eyes in disbelief. “I don't see why you want to marry me so much.”
“Because I love you, stupid,” Jack said, taking his hand again. “That’s why.”
Ianto smiled very softly at him. “I love you, too.”
“So will you marry me?”
Ianto rolled his eyes again. “No,” he said, “I told you, I won’t.” He held his hand up as Jack began to speak. “But,” he continued, “I will sign Civil Partnership papers with you. As long as we don't make a big deal about it.”
Jack grinned from ear to ear. “Really?”
Ianto laughed. “Yes, really,” he said, with an equally large grin.
Jack grabbed him and kissed him, hard. When he pulled back he spoke again, “We’ll need two witnesses. Who do we trust not to call it marriage or make a big deal about it?”
“Definitely not Gwen,” Ianto said, immediately.
Jack chuckled. “How about Martha? She knows how to keep a secret.”
“And Spike?”
“Spike isn’t legally even alive ... how about Xander?”
“I’ve seen Xander trying to keep his mouth shut. It isn’t pretty.”
“Tosh?”
“Will squeal and tell the world.”
“Willow?”
“Will tell Tosh.”
“Buffy?”
“Will also squeal.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Faith?”
“Doesn’t care, won’t tell. Perfect choice.” Ianto smiled.
“Thank you,” Jack said, after a moment.
“What for?”
“Loving me.”
15:51
“The rift is oddly silent today,” Buffy commented, as she sat on the sofa, idling twiddling a loose thread on her sleeve as she bounced a tennis ball she’d found in her other hand.
“Must know it’s Ianto’s birthday,” Angel said from nearby. Buffy ignored him. She still wasn’t ready to make idle chit chat with him.
“Bored?” Owen enquired.
“Out of my mind,” Buffy replied. “I hate slow days.”
“You hate busy days, too,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but at least during busy days I don't have time to sit around thinking about how much I hate them.”
Owen smirked. “You could always help me with my autopsy,” he said.
Buffy pulled a face. “Gross,” she complained.
“I don't know. I think you’d look sexy in a nurse’s outfit.”
“Pervert!” Buffy lobbed the ball at him. He caught it, with a smirk, and threw it back. She caught it just as swiftly.
“Seriously, though, I could do with a helping hand.”
“Owen!”
“I didn’t mean like that!” Owen exclaimed, suddenly realising the huge innuendo he had unwittingly made.
“Well, this is fun,” Angel said, done watching their verbal rally. “I wish the sun would go down so I could go out hunting.”
“Hunting?” Owen demanded.
“Slay some vampires and demons.” He shrugged. “Never know, I might meet and kill Spike,” he added, under his breath.
“I heard that!” the English accented vampire said, irritably, as he came in through the cog door.
Angel rolled his eyes. “Of course you did.”
Spike made a bee-line for Buffy, sitting down next to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders, out of habit rather than anything else. She cuddled into his side, enjoying the cool emanating from his chest.
“How are you here, anyway?” Angel demanded. “I mean ... why aren’t you dusty?”
“We keep asking him the same thing,” Owen said, around a chuckle. “He won’t tell us.”
“I have my ways,” Spike informed them.
“I don't care, as long as you’re careful,” Buffy said. “I don't want to have to sweep you off the pavement.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “How lovely of you,” he said.
“No, I mean, I don't want to lose you.” She gazed at him, intensely. “Ever.”
Angel made a gagging noise. “I can’t listen to this,” he said.
“Then don't!” Spike, Owen and Buffy said in perfect sync. Buffy and Spike stared at Owen.
“What? I’m just defending you is all.” He shrugged. “Seemed like the thing to do.”
Buffy shook her head in confusion and snuggled against Spike again, drawing lazy circles on his chest with her fingers. “You want to go out on patrol with me when the sun goes down? I’m bored.”
Spike kissed the top of her head. “Sure, pet,” he said.
“I’ll go with you,” Angel said.
“No, you won’t, you big poof,” Spike said, irritably.
“It’s not like you’re going on a date,” Angel said, choking on the words. “It’s just patrol and I’m feeling the need to kill something.”
“In that case, you can patrol with me,” Owen said. “Anything is better than Gwen. Faith persuaded Jack to partner us. We’ve been going out on patrol together every night for the past fortnight and she, frankly, is a nightmare.”
“Hey!” was heard across the hub from a very annoyed Gwen.
Owen rolled his eyes. “So come with us and save me from yet another night of her.” He grinned at Angel.
Angel sighed. “Oh, alright,” he said. “But she doesn’t seem that bad,” he pointed out. “She seems nice to me.”
“Try spending every night with her, mate,” Owen said. “You’ll soon change your tune.”
“Can’t be any worse than spending every night with Darla and Drusilla,” Angel said, with a shrug.
Buffy felt Spike clench his fists. “Angel...” she said, warningly.
“Did you say every night with Darla and Drusilla? Are we talking a threesome here? Because if we are, I want details,” Owen said.
Angel looked round at him then rolled his eyes. “I’ll patrol with you, but no details.” He looked round at Spike for only a moment before saying, very quietly, “It wouldn't be fair.”
16:01
“I should go back to the hub,” a sweaty Jack said, with a small groan, rolling over in bed to lie half-over an equally sweaty Ianto.
“I know,” he replied, wrapping himself firmly around his soon to be civil-partner.
“I don't want to move.”
“Nor me.”
Jack groaned and hid his face from the harsh light of afternoon. “You exhausted me.”
“I exhausted you?” Ianto demanded. “You were the one that practically dragged me to bed and was shouting ‘more’ and ‘harder’,” he recalled, starting off irritably and ending up fondly.
“Mm. I did, didn’t I?” Jack said, equally as fondly, inhaling the musky scent of sex and Ianto in the room. “I didn’t hear you arguing though.”
“Would I ever?” Ianto enquired, with a small smirk.
Jack smiled into his chest. “You did tell me to stop once.”
“Only because there was a barbeque fork embedded in my back,” Ianto pointed out.
“True. Though I have to say, forks can make very good sex toys in the right situation. I once met this Kaylan...”
“I don't want to know,” Ianto said, muffling Jack’s story with his hand. Jack continued to tell it stubbornly nonetheless. “Shut up,” Ianto whined. Jack didn’t stop. Ianto swooped down and kissed him hard, finally silencing him.
It was another half an hour before Jack finally dragged himself back to the hub.
Next: Chapter 17b
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
So because I was dubbed as 'mean' for where I left the previous chapter, I decided to get part A of chapter 17 out tonight. Even though I'm dropping with tiredness. It just felt right.
Anyway, here it is. Part B is written and everything and will be posted at some point tomorrow.
Enjoy while I crawl into bed and pass out.
Previous chapters: Ch.1, Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b
Chapter 17a: Reasoning.
Monday 19th August
13:41
“Ianto Jones, will you marry me?”
Ianto closed his eyes and bit his lip before answering.
“No, Jack, I’m sorry. I won’t.”
Jack stared at him, stunned into silence. “What?”
“I don’t want to marry you, Jack ...” Ianto said, quietly.
“Why not?”
“Because ...” Ianto took a deep breath. “Because, firstly, you have a habit of running off on us. I don’t want to be tied to you if you’re going to leave me again.”
Jack swallowed and let his fingers slide from Ianto’s hand. “I’m not going to leave you again,” he said, softly.
“You can’t promise me that, Jack,” Ianto breathed. “If something happens and you have to go ... I don’t want to be the one holding you back.”
“You never hold me back,” Jack replied, firmly.
Ianto shook his head. “But if you promise to stay ... and you want to go, it’ll be that promise keeping you here. Not love.”
“What if I promised to always come back?”
Ianto closed his eyes. “Jack ...”
“Ianto, I love you and I want to be with you. Nothing can stop me from doing that. Not aliens, not demons, not Torchwood, not even the Doctor. I will always find my way home to you,” Jack promised.
“That’s not the only reason, though,” Ianto said, pushing how sincere Jack sounded from his mind.
“What are the others?” Jack asked, his voice cracking slightly.
“I don't want to be bound under that which hates us.”
“What?”
“Marriage. It stems from a religion that hates same-sex marriage,” Ianto said, reverting to cold facts to keep his voice even.
Jack sighed. “We could sign Civil Partnership papers. Not even call it marriage.”
“It would still be marriage.”
“No, it wouldn't. It would be a Civil Partnership. Hence the name.” Jack offered Ianto a rakish smile, which was returned. “Nothing about it would have any connection to marriage. Apart from the fact we’d be bound together. We wouldn't even have to wear rings if you didn’t want to.” Jack sounded a little sad at the last bit.
“We could ... I suppose,” Ianto said, carefully.
“Really?” There was hope in Jack’s voice.
“That’s not all though.”
“Oh?” The hope faded.
“I’d expect total fidelity.”
Jack blinked. “You have that already,” he said. “I thought you knew that?”
Ianto averted his eyes. “I just ...”
“I told you a long time ago that I would never cheat on you.”
Ianto muttered something under his breath.
“Pardon?” Jack said, cautiously.
“I never feel like I’m enough for you,” Ianto said, his voice barely a whisper.
“What?” Jack breathed. Ianto looked up again, their eyes locking. Jack’s were pained.
“I just feel like I’m not good enough. You’re so perfect and I’m so ... not. I betrayed you, I called you a monster and I make so many mistakes ...” Ianto bit his lip again.
Jack blinked at him, rapidly, and then started laughing.
Ianto looked up, mortified. “Jack!”
“I’m not perfect, you idiot,” Jack said, through his hysterics. “I’m anything but. I’ve made more mistakes in the past ten years than you have in your entire lifetime. I’m ‘wrong’...”
“You’re not wrong,” Ianto insisted.
“... I flirt with everything that moves to the point that you feel insecure ... and I don't deserve someone as good as you.”
Ianto rolled his eyes in disbelief. “I don't see why you want to marry me so much.”
“Because I love you, stupid,” Jack said, taking his hand again. “That’s why.”
Ianto smiled very softly at him. “I love you, too.”
“So will you marry me?”
Ianto rolled his eyes again. “No,” he said, “I told you, I won’t.” He held his hand up as Jack began to speak. “But,” he continued, “I will sign Civil Partnership papers with you. As long as we don't make a big deal about it.”
Jack grinned from ear to ear. “Really?”
Ianto laughed. “Yes, really,” he said, with an equally large grin.
Jack grabbed him and kissed him, hard. When he pulled back he spoke again, “We’ll need two witnesses. Who do we trust not to call it marriage or make a big deal about it?”
“Definitely not Gwen,” Ianto said, immediately.
Jack chuckled. “How about Martha? She knows how to keep a secret.”
“And Spike?”
“Spike isn’t legally even alive ... how about Xander?”
“I’ve seen Xander trying to keep his mouth shut. It isn’t pretty.”
“Tosh?”
“Will squeal and tell the world.”
“Willow?”
“Will tell Tosh.”
“Buffy?”
“Will also squeal.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “Faith?”
“Doesn’t care, won’t tell. Perfect choice.” Ianto smiled.
“Thank you,” Jack said, after a moment.
“What for?”
“Loving me.”
15:51
“The rift is oddly silent today,” Buffy commented, as she sat on the sofa, idling twiddling a loose thread on her sleeve as she bounced a tennis ball she’d found in her other hand.
“Must know it’s Ianto’s birthday,” Angel said from nearby. Buffy ignored him. She still wasn’t ready to make idle chit chat with him.
“Bored?” Owen enquired.
“Out of my mind,” Buffy replied. “I hate slow days.”
“You hate busy days, too,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but at least during busy days I don't have time to sit around thinking about how much I hate them.”
Owen smirked. “You could always help me with my autopsy,” he said.
Buffy pulled a face. “Gross,” she complained.
“I don't know. I think you’d look sexy in a nurse’s outfit.”
“Pervert!” Buffy lobbed the ball at him. He caught it, with a smirk, and threw it back. She caught it just as swiftly.
“Seriously, though, I could do with a helping hand.”
“Owen!”
“I didn’t mean like that!” Owen exclaimed, suddenly realising the huge innuendo he had unwittingly made.
“Well, this is fun,” Angel said, done watching their verbal rally. “I wish the sun would go down so I could go out hunting.”
“Hunting?” Owen demanded.
“Slay some vampires and demons.” He shrugged. “Never know, I might meet and kill Spike,” he added, under his breath.
“I heard that!” the English accented vampire said, irritably, as he came in through the cog door.
Angel rolled his eyes. “Of course you did.”
Spike made a bee-line for Buffy, sitting down next to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders, out of habit rather than anything else. She cuddled into his side, enjoying the cool emanating from his chest.
“How are you here, anyway?” Angel demanded. “I mean ... why aren’t you dusty?”
“We keep asking him the same thing,” Owen said, around a chuckle. “He won’t tell us.”
“I have my ways,” Spike informed them.
“I don't care, as long as you’re careful,” Buffy said. “I don't want to have to sweep you off the pavement.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “How lovely of you,” he said.
“No, I mean, I don't want to lose you.” She gazed at him, intensely. “Ever.”
Angel made a gagging noise. “I can’t listen to this,” he said.
“Then don't!” Spike, Owen and Buffy said in perfect sync. Buffy and Spike stared at Owen.
“What? I’m just defending you is all.” He shrugged. “Seemed like the thing to do.”
Buffy shook her head in confusion and snuggled against Spike again, drawing lazy circles on his chest with her fingers. “You want to go out on patrol with me when the sun goes down? I’m bored.”
Spike kissed the top of her head. “Sure, pet,” he said.
“I’ll go with you,” Angel said.
“No, you won’t, you big poof,” Spike said, irritably.
“It’s not like you’re going on a date,” Angel said, choking on the words. “It’s just patrol and I’m feeling the need to kill something.”
“In that case, you can patrol with me,” Owen said. “Anything is better than Gwen. Faith persuaded Jack to partner us. We’ve been going out on patrol together every night for the past fortnight and she, frankly, is a nightmare.”
“Hey!” was heard across the hub from a very annoyed Gwen.
Owen rolled his eyes. “So come with us and save me from yet another night of her.” He grinned at Angel.
Angel sighed. “Oh, alright,” he said. “But she doesn’t seem that bad,” he pointed out. “She seems nice to me.”
“Try spending every night with her, mate,” Owen said. “You’ll soon change your tune.”
“Can’t be any worse than spending every night with Darla and Drusilla,” Angel said, with a shrug.
Buffy felt Spike clench his fists. “Angel...” she said, warningly.
“Did you say every night with Darla and Drusilla? Are we talking a threesome here? Because if we are, I want details,” Owen said.
Angel looked round at him then rolled his eyes. “I’ll patrol with you, but no details.” He looked round at Spike for only a moment before saying, very quietly, “It wouldn't be fair.”
16:01
“I should go back to the hub,” a sweaty Jack said, with a small groan, rolling over in bed to lie half-over an equally sweaty Ianto.
“I know,” he replied, wrapping himself firmly around his soon to be civil-partner.
“I don't want to move.”
“Nor me.”
Jack groaned and hid his face from the harsh light of afternoon. “You exhausted me.”
“I exhausted you?” Ianto demanded. “You were the one that practically dragged me to bed and was shouting ‘more’ and ‘harder’,” he recalled, starting off irritably and ending up fondly.
“Mm. I did, didn’t I?” Jack said, equally as fondly, inhaling the musky scent of sex and Ianto in the room. “I didn’t hear you arguing though.”
“Would I ever?” Ianto enquired, with a small smirk.
Jack smiled into his chest. “You did tell me to stop once.”
“Only because there was a barbeque fork embedded in my back,” Ianto pointed out.
“True. Though I have to say, forks can make very good sex toys in the right situation. I once met this Kaylan...”
“I don't want to know,” Ianto said, muffling Jack’s story with his hand. Jack continued to tell it stubbornly nonetheless. “Shut up,” Ianto whined. Jack didn’t stop. Ianto swooped down and kissed him hard, finally silencing him.
It was another half an hour before Jack finally dragged himself back to the hub.
Next: Chapter 17b