FIC: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my! (15/?)
Name: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Oh boy. I'm awful. I'm really slow getting out chapters and for that I am forever sorry. Really.
So I finally got access to the server and my fics back (I now have a pendrive to keep said fics on. No more unexpected lack of access for Sophie. Nosiree) and finally beat my crossover-block! So here's another chapter. I'll try and get another chapter out a lot quicker next time ... -sigh-
Oh, and at the end of this chapter there is a link to "Interlude 1: Willow and Tosh". I'm taking another leaf out of teachwriteslash 's book and making interludes for smut (particularly Spuffy and Willow/Tosh because, after all, I'm posting this to torchwoodslash and most people on there don't mind Janto smut ...).
Anyway, you don't need to read the interlude, that's the idea, you can just skip it if you don't want to read Willow/Tosh.
All the references to the episode Adam in this will should be explained in a later companion piece.
*Chants to self: If LJ messes up my cut again I won't scream. I won't scream. I will not scream.*
Previous chapters: Ch.1, Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14
Chapter 15: Journey to the centre of the school.
Monday 18th August
19:49
The ride in the minivan to the school was less than fun for all concerned.
Angel insisted on coming along, making some comment about not having been out in open air for a very, very long time. Spike thusly also insisted on coming along ‘to keep an eye on the big poof head’. Buffy begged Jack to let her stay at the hub, but Jack pointed out that she was the one who had dealt with the Hellmouth so many times before.
As such, Buffy was in the passenger seat, Gwen in the middle and Jack was driving, while Willow, Tosh, Spike, Angel, Owen, Ianto and Faith sat in the back, all crammed together.
Willow was playing referee in Angel and Spike’s perpetual sparring match, Faith was talking to Owen about how she wished she was still in prison and Tosh was listening to iPod, blocking out the rest of the world.
“At least I never drank from her!” Spike snapped.
“I would never do that to Buffy,” Angel said, calmly.
“Actually ... you did,” Willow said, awkwardly. “You almost killed her, too.”
“Ha,” Spike said, smugly.
“Yeah, but I was either evil at the time or it was an accident!” Angel argued. “You go out of your way to kill her ... and you’re always evil!”
“I have you know I haven’t been evil for a very long time,” Spike snapped. “And I haven’t tried to kill her for longer. Well, unless you count that one time ... but that was an accident!”
“What one time?” Buffy poked her head around the seat, bashing Gwen on the way, something Gwen was fast getting used to.
Spike pulled a face. “I can’t tell you,” he said.
“Oh, not that again!” Buffy snarled. “It’s about those two missing days, isn’t it?” Spike made a noncommittal noise and Buffy let out a snarl of annoyance, sitting back in her seat. “Just be quiet back there, alright?”
The back of the van fell silent.
Buffy leant across Gwen to look at Jack. “Please say we’re almost there.”
20:27
“That wasn’t almost,” Buffy grumbled, as she opened the door and slid out of the minivan, walking around to the back and opening the double doors to let everyone out.
“I know, but you asked me to say we were almost there so I did,” Jack replied, with a grin.
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Come on,” she said. “Hellmouth to investigate.” She reached into the van and pulled out a torch, turning it on and shining it towards the school, a futile gesture thanks to the fact it was still glowing green.
The others followed suit as Tosh pulled out her favourite piece of alien tech and took Willow’s hand in hers as they approached the school.
“I hate this place,” Buffy commented, as she pushed open the main doors. “Most people hate their high schools, but at least I have a reason.”
Buffy stepped inside and stopped in her tracks, causing Jack to bash into her from behind. “Gross,” she whined.
Jack gave her a determined push a few steps in and sidled in behind her, looking at what it was she was staring at. “I second that,” he said.
The ceiling, floor and walls were coated with glowing green goo, much like the cliché of nuclear waste. “I’m glad I wore my old clothes,” Buffy said. “Because this is going to be messy.”
Jack nodded. “Yep.”
“Let’s go.” Buffy started off into the school, trying to avoid slipping on the goop as she walked. She touched her earpiece. “Anya, is there a central reading of demonic activity?”
“I can’t work out these new sensors,” Anya replied, via the earpiece.
“Just head for the library,” Xander’s voice joined Anya’s.
“How do you know the demonic activity is there?” Jack asked.
“Because it’s the library,” Xander replied. “And there’s a big red splodge on this scanner ... sensor ... map ... thing over where the library is.”
“Always the hellmouth,” Buffy muttered, continuing through the green goop towards the library. “Always the hellmouth, always the library, always the school ...” she muttered, irritably. “I thought when I blew up the school our troubles would be over but no; the hellmouth keeps on coming back ...”
“You blew up the school?” Angel enquired.
“You helped,” she replied, deadpan. “If you want details, ask Willow.”
Willow made a ‘why me?!’ gesture at Jack, who shrugged.
Buffy pushed open the library doors and rolled her eyes. “Amazing,” she said. “This school is from twenty years ago and the library looks exactly the same as it did when I attended.”
Jack blinked and looked at Willow, who was giggling. “It’s covered in green goop and there’s a large hole in the floor,” he said.
“Exactly,” Buffy replied. “Just the same as always.”
Jack looked at Ianto, who shrugged, as the group took another step into the room. Buffy put her foot down wrong and slipped. Spike and Angel lunged at her, succeeding not in catching her, but in colliding their skulls and sending the two of them crashing to the floor as Owen caught Buffy, swiftly, not trying to compete with the others.
“Thanks,” Buffy said, softly, as she balanced herself again. “I’m a real klutz at the moment!”
Owen smirked. “I don’t see a difference, personally.”
Buffy laughed and was about to retort when Willow yelped, “Buffy!” and pointed at the hole, out of which several demons were emerging.
“Here we go again,” she commented, as Gwen, Owen, Ianto and Jack drew their guns and fired at the demons. Four bullets each later, the demons had fallen back into the hole. “That was ... too easy,” she said, turning around and looking at all the book shelves. “Where’s the hard part?”
“Gift horses, Buffy,” Ianto said.
“No, she’s right,” Jack said, slowly, joining Buffy in her gazing. “That was the advance guard; like the robot-santas a few Christmases back.”
Buffy stopped and looked at him. “Robot santas?” she enquired. “You have robot Santas?”
Jack nodded. “Yep. They were after the Doctor. Huge spaceship over London, too. No topping that.”
“Well, we had a huge snake in a school and a zombie in my world,” Buffy said. “I think that’s better than a spaceship.”
“Guys!” Faith said. “More important things to do?”
Jack nodded. “She’s right.” He was about to suggest splitting into groups and exploring the school while Willow and Tosh tried to find a way to stop whatever was happening when there was a blast of light and twelve demons of different shapes, sizes and varieties surrounded them.
“Shit,” Owen swore.
“Owen,” Buffy scolded as she helped Angel and Spike to their feet (they had been having a staring contest on the ground for the past five minutes and she hadn’t been bothered to interrupt them). “Do you have to swear?”
“I seem to remember we had this conversation once before,” Owen said, firing off a shot at one of the demons as it approached. “And the answer was; yes, I do!”
Buffy glared at him, drew her axe and stabbed a demon attacking her from behind without even looking as shots went off all around her from Jack, Ianto, Gwen and Faith’s guns.
More demons were emerging now, appearing all around them and jumping out of the hole in the floor; the hellmouth, apparently.
“Just like old times,” Buffy said to Willow, as she wrenched her axe from the corpse of another demon.
Willow grinned, her eyes turning black as she joined hands with Tosh and they used their magic to explode several demons all around them.
Spike and Angel were somehow managing to fight back-to-back and fight each other at the same time, yelling insults. “Would you two grow up?!” Owen yelled at the two of them.
Buffy spun round on one foot, slicing a demon’s head off with her axe. “Willow, Tosh, can you close this?” she demanded. “Or do something?”
“I told you before, we can’t close the hellmouth!” Willow replied, over the din of firing bullets and screaming demons.
“Can you plug it?” Buffy yelled.
“What?” Tosh responded.
“Stick something in it!” Buffy clarified. “Just ... something!”
Owen fired a final shot and the last demon fell down dead. “That’s better,” he said.
“It ain’t over yet,” Faith said. “That’s just the first wave.”
“Willow,” Buffy said, walking over to her friend. “Tell me you can do something.”
“I can’t,” Willow replied, helplessly. “Without Giles’ books or at least some sort of spell ...” She raised her arms and sent another demon down the hole.
“This may be a radical idea,” Ianto said, deadpan, “but have any of you tried just ... blocking the hole? It must at least stop the physical entities unable to teleport?”
Buffy looked at Willow, who shrugged. “Might work,” she admitted. “But plug it with what?”
“Anything!” Owen said, as more demons emerged.
Willow and Tosh raised their arms, books flying from the shelves and coming together, sticking to create a large mass. “God, Giles would kill you!” Buffy exclaimed.
“Giles isn’t here!” Willow replied as the books plugged the hole.
There was another large flash of light and several more demons appeared around the library. “Willow, can you stop them from teleporting? Is there some sort of spell?”
“I’m afraid not,” Willow replied, as they secured the books with magic.
Buffy threw her axe at another demon. “So what do we do? Stay here fending them off until the sun explodes?”
“You’d actually die of starvation first,” Ianto informed her with a smile.
“Thank you, Ianto,” Buffy ground out through her teeth.
“You die now!” a demon snarled at her.
“Oh, bite me,” Buffy replied, snapping its neck.
“With pleasure,” Spike said from across the room. Buffy stuck her tongue out at him. Angel tried to hit him. Spike dodged, smirking. “You’re too easy a target, you big poof,” Spike said.
“At least I don’t make biting jokes.”
“Hey! She makes staking jokes!”
“That was once!” Buffy shouted.
“Children, please!” Ianto said, exasperated.
The three of them turned to look at him. Jack smirked at him, impressed.
“More important issues?” He gestured at the hellmouth.
It was at that moment that Buffy noticed no more demons were appearing and Willow and Tosh were just stood there, giggling at them. “What happened?” she enquired.
“We put a teleport lock. They shouldn’t be able to teleport out very often now,” Willow said, with a grin. “You didn’t even notice!”
“I was distracted,” Buffy whined. “How did you do the lock?” she asked.
“Because ... we’re brilliant!” Tosh exclaimed.
22:31
“Well that was fun,” Gwen grumbled, as she used a pencil to try and pry caked green goop off her shoes.
“Don't complain,” Ianto warned. “It could have been a lot worse.” He put a cup of coffee down on Tosh’s desk. She smiled at him.
“Thank you, Ianto,” she said.
“No problem.” He pointed at the screen, on which was a map of Cardiff. “What’s going on?”
Tosh grimaced. “There are more coming through all over the city. I’ve been tracking it but ...” She clicked a few buttons, showing masses of green, blue, white and red dots all over. “I’ve worked out that when Buffy and the others came through the rift they brought particles of their universe with them, right? So I analysed their latest medical checks and set up a simple scanning system ...” She brought up a third page, which was covered with coding.
“Simple. Yeah,” Ianto said, sarcastically.
Tosh smirked at him and switched the monitor back. “The blue dots are humans from the other universe like Xander and Anya. The green ones are anything dripping with magical energy ... like Willow.” Ianto noticed she smiled fondly when she said her girlfriend’s name, her eyes becoming slightly unfocused until she snapped out of her trance. “So witches and other magically charged demons are green...” She clicked a button, switching the dots around, removing the red and white, leaving the green and blue.
“That’s a lot of witches,” Ianto commented. “Why are there two dots over the hub?”
Tosh blushed. “I think ... I think some of the particles got to me ... so I count as one of them.” The map changed again; green and blue disappearing, white and red appearing.
Ianto sighed. “Okay. So one is Willow and one is you. What are the white dots?”
“Other,” Tosh said. “Like Buffy, who isn’t quite human. They’re half-demons and energy-creatures.” She clicked the map and swapped the dots around, removing the green and blue and replacing with the red and white. “Finally, the red ones are demons. Just standard, run of the mill demons and vampires.”
“There’s something I never expected to hear you say, Tosh,” Ianto said.
“I know. Run of the mill demons ...” She sighed and took off her glasses. “Who’d have expected that?”
“It’s not easy for us, either, you know,” Buffy said, as she walked past, a cup of coffee and a brown folder in her hands. “We’re having to cope with the startling fact that aliens are real.”
“Aliens are more believable than demons, though,” Ianto pointed out.
Buffy snorted. “Hardly!”
“Oh really?” Ianto enquired. “In what way are demons more believable?”
“They’ve been around longer than humans?” Buffy offered. “So we don’t really know what was around before us and ... and as such, they could be!”
“Uh huh.” Ianto raised an eyebrow. “And aliens aren’t believable because we know about everything in space?”
“No ... but ...” Buffy mouthed wordlessly for a moment. “Fine. You win,” she said, irritably, stalking off towards the infirmary.
Ianto smirked and turned back to Tosh. “So what’s the point of this detector? Are we going to hunt down all those red and green dots?”
“I wouldn't go near the green dots with a barge pole!” Tosh exclaimed. “We don’t know anything about them, apart from the fact they are as powerful, if not more powerful, than Willow and me combined.”
“Oh. Fun,” Ianto said sarcastically as he turned to perch on the desk. “The red ones?”
“Depends what Buffy and Jack say,” she replied. “If they think we should try and round some of them up or just let them go about their business.”
“The killer vampires included?” Ianto enquired. “Or are we their friends now?” He looked across the hub at Spike, talking to Willow, the most accepting of the scoobies, and Angel glaring at him from a distance.
“I’ve been wondering the same thing,” Tosh said. “The lines seem to be blurring somewhat.”
“All we need now is John turning up and being welcomes with open arms,” Ianto commented.
“That’s never going to happen,” she told him, firmly. “Not after everything that happened with Grey.”
Ianto was about to respond when Willow came half-skipping across the room towards Tosh. Tosh stood up as she approached and looked towards Jack’s office, gesturing in the air ‘can we go home?’ Jack nodded and Tosh turned to smile at Willow, taking her hand. “Ianto, you don’t need to monitor the map or anything, but just glance at it every now and again before you head home?” she requested. “I’d like to know if it continues to work through the night.”
Ianto nodded. “Will do,” he replied. “Go home.” He smiled. “I would say ‘sleep well’ but something tells me you won’t be sleeping.”
Willow and Tosh blushed together before Willow dragged the Japanese woman off. Ianto chuckled.
23:41
Angel crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his feet.
“Careful, you’ll burn a hole through the floor.”
He looked round to see Gwen stood next to him. He shrugged. “Sorry.”
“I was joking, pet,” Gwen said, putting a hand on his arm. “Want to tell me what’s wrong? You have a face like a slapped arse.”
Angel looked round, surprised. He wasn’t used to things like that being said. He sighed. “Just ... them.” He gestured towards Spike and Willow talking. “Since when do Spike and Willow get on?”
Gwen smiled. “I don’t know. They just seem to these days. He gets on with most of us ... except Xander.”
Angel groaned. “Are you telling me the only one with sense is Xander Harris?” He looked across the room at him, where he was balancing a mug on his head.
“I wouldn't say he has sense. He fell out with Buffy over it for a few months.”
“They fell out?”
“Yeah. They made up though at his wedding.”
“His wedding?” Angel squeaked.
“Yep. To Anya.” She grinned. “It was better than mine. Anya didn’t wake up pregnant.”
Angel shook his head in disbelief. “But why do you like him?” He pointed at Spike again. “What about him could possibly make you like him?”
“He just fits in with us,” Gwen replied, shrugging. “He even saved us once, apparently.”
“Apparently?”
“There’s this whole thing in which we have two missing days. Spike is the only one that knows what happened but he won’t tell us about it. The only thing he’s told us is that Buffy had a lot of making up to do ... And he’s started telling Jack not to flirt with her. Suspicious, I think, but that’s my opinion.”
“How do you know he’s telling the truth?” Angel enquired.
“We trust him.”
At that moment Angel truly believed, for the first time, that he was in an alternate universe.
Although he wasn’t sure he was out of Hell just yet.
Interlude #1: Willow and Tosh
Chapter 16a
Rating: R
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Oh boy. I'm awful. I'm really slow getting out chapters and for that I am forever sorry. Really.
So I finally got access to the server and my fics back (I now have a pendrive to keep said fics on. No more unexpected lack of access for Sophie. Nosiree) and finally beat my crossover-block! So here's another chapter. I'll try and get another chapter out a lot quicker next time ... -sigh-
Oh, and at the end of this chapter there is a link to "Interlude 1: Willow and Tosh". I'm taking another leaf out of teachwriteslash 's book and making interludes for smut (particularly Spuffy and Willow/Tosh because, after all, I'm posting this to torchwoodslash and most people on there don't mind Janto smut ...).
Anyway, you don't need to read the interlude, that's the idea, you can just skip it if you don't want to read Willow/Tosh.
All the references to the episode Adam in this will should be explained in a later companion piece.
*Chants to self: If LJ messes up my cut again I won't scream. I won't scream. I will not scream.*
Previous chapters: Ch.1, Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14
Chapter 15: Journey to the centre of the school.
Monday 18th August
19:49
The ride in the minivan to the school was less than fun for all concerned.
Angel insisted on coming along, making some comment about not having been out in open air for a very, very long time. Spike thusly also insisted on coming along ‘to keep an eye on the big poof head’. Buffy begged Jack to let her stay at the hub, but Jack pointed out that she was the one who had dealt with the Hellmouth so many times before.
As such, Buffy was in the passenger seat, Gwen in the middle and Jack was driving, while Willow, Tosh, Spike, Angel, Owen, Ianto and Faith sat in the back, all crammed together.
Willow was playing referee in Angel and Spike’s perpetual sparring match, Faith was talking to Owen about how she wished she was still in prison and Tosh was listening to iPod, blocking out the rest of the world.
“At least I never drank from her!” Spike snapped.
“I would never do that to Buffy,” Angel said, calmly.
“Actually ... you did,” Willow said, awkwardly. “You almost killed her, too.”
“Ha,” Spike said, smugly.
“Yeah, but I was either evil at the time or it was an accident!” Angel argued. “You go out of your way to kill her ... and you’re always evil!”
“I have you know I haven’t been evil for a very long time,” Spike snapped. “And I haven’t tried to kill her for longer. Well, unless you count that one time ... but that was an accident!”
“What one time?” Buffy poked her head around the seat, bashing Gwen on the way, something Gwen was fast getting used to.
Spike pulled a face. “I can’t tell you,” he said.
“Oh, not that again!” Buffy snarled. “It’s about those two missing days, isn’t it?” Spike made a noncommittal noise and Buffy let out a snarl of annoyance, sitting back in her seat. “Just be quiet back there, alright?”
The back of the van fell silent.
Buffy leant across Gwen to look at Jack. “Please say we’re almost there.”
20:27
“That wasn’t almost,” Buffy grumbled, as she opened the door and slid out of the minivan, walking around to the back and opening the double doors to let everyone out.
“I know, but you asked me to say we were almost there so I did,” Jack replied, with a grin.
Buffy rolled her eyes. “Come on,” she said. “Hellmouth to investigate.” She reached into the van and pulled out a torch, turning it on and shining it towards the school, a futile gesture thanks to the fact it was still glowing green.
The others followed suit as Tosh pulled out her favourite piece of alien tech and took Willow’s hand in hers as they approached the school.
“I hate this place,” Buffy commented, as she pushed open the main doors. “Most people hate their high schools, but at least I have a reason.”
Buffy stepped inside and stopped in her tracks, causing Jack to bash into her from behind. “Gross,” she whined.
Jack gave her a determined push a few steps in and sidled in behind her, looking at what it was she was staring at. “I second that,” he said.
The ceiling, floor and walls were coated with glowing green goo, much like the cliché of nuclear waste. “I’m glad I wore my old clothes,” Buffy said. “Because this is going to be messy.”
Jack nodded. “Yep.”
“Let’s go.” Buffy started off into the school, trying to avoid slipping on the goop as she walked. She touched her earpiece. “Anya, is there a central reading of demonic activity?”
“I can’t work out these new sensors,” Anya replied, via the earpiece.
“Just head for the library,” Xander’s voice joined Anya’s.
“How do you know the demonic activity is there?” Jack asked.
“Because it’s the library,” Xander replied. “And there’s a big red splodge on this scanner ... sensor ... map ... thing over where the library is.”
“Always the hellmouth,” Buffy muttered, continuing through the green goop towards the library. “Always the hellmouth, always the library, always the school ...” she muttered, irritably. “I thought when I blew up the school our troubles would be over but no; the hellmouth keeps on coming back ...”
“You blew up the school?” Angel enquired.
“You helped,” she replied, deadpan. “If you want details, ask Willow.”
Willow made a ‘why me?!’ gesture at Jack, who shrugged.
Buffy pushed open the library doors and rolled her eyes. “Amazing,” she said. “This school is from twenty years ago and the library looks exactly the same as it did when I attended.”
Jack blinked and looked at Willow, who was giggling. “It’s covered in green goop and there’s a large hole in the floor,” he said.
“Exactly,” Buffy replied. “Just the same as always.”
Jack looked at Ianto, who shrugged, as the group took another step into the room. Buffy put her foot down wrong and slipped. Spike and Angel lunged at her, succeeding not in catching her, but in colliding their skulls and sending the two of them crashing to the floor as Owen caught Buffy, swiftly, not trying to compete with the others.
“Thanks,” Buffy said, softly, as she balanced herself again. “I’m a real klutz at the moment!”
Owen smirked. “I don’t see a difference, personally.”
Buffy laughed and was about to retort when Willow yelped, “Buffy!” and pointed at the hole, out of which several demons were emerging.
“Here we go again,” she commented, as Gwen, Owen, Ianto and Jack drew their guns and fired at the demons. Four bullets each later, the demons had fallen back into the hole. “That was ... too easy,” she said, turning around and looking at all the book shelves. “Where’s the hard part?”
“Gift horses, Buffy,” Ianto said.
“No, she’s right,” Jack said, slowly, joining Buffy in her gazing. “That was the advance guard; like the robot-santas a few Christmases back.”
Buffy stopped and looked at him. “Robot santas?” she enquired. “You have robot Santas?”
Jack nodded. “Yep. They were after the Doctor. Huge spaceship over London, too. No topping that.”
“Well, we had a huge snake in a school and a zombie in my world,” Buffy said. “I think that’s better than a spaceship.”
“Guys!” Faith said. “More important things to do?”
Jack nodded. “She’s right.” He was about to suggest splitting into groups and exploring the school while Willow and Tosh tried to find a way to stop whatever was happening when there was a blast of light and twelve demons of different shapes, sizes and varieties surrounded them.
“Shit,” Owen swore.
“Owen,” Buffy scolded as she helped Angel and Spike to their feet (they had been having a staring contest on the ground for the past five minutes and she hadn’t been bothered to interrupt them). “Do you have to swear?”
“I seem to remember we had this conversation once before,” Owen said, firing off a shot at one of the demons as it approached. “And the answer was; yes, I do!”
Buffy glared at him, drew her axe and stabbed a demon attacking her from behind without even looking as shots went off all around her from Jack, Ianto, Gwen and Faith’s guns.
More demons were emerging now, appearing all around them and jumping out of the hole in the floor; the hellmouth, apparently.
“Just like old times,” Buffy said to Willow, as she wrenched her axe from the corpse of another demon.
Willow grinned, her eyes turning black as she joined hands with Tosh and they used their magic to explode several demons all around them.
Spike and Angel were somehow managing to fight back-to-back and fight each other at the same time, yelling insults. “Would you two grow up?!” Owen yelled at the two of them.
Buffy spun round on one foot, slicing a demon’s head off with her axe. “Willow, Tosh, can you close this?” she demanded. “Or do something?”
“I told you before, we can’t close the hellmouth!” Willow replied, over the din of firing bullets and screaming demons.
“Can you plug it?” Buffy yelled.
“What?” Tosh responded.
“Stick something in it!” Buffy clarified. “Just ... something!”
Owen fired a final shot and the last demon fell down dead. “That’s better,” he said.
“It ain’t over yet,” Faith said. “That’s just the first wave.”
“Willow,” Buffy said, walking over to her friend. “Tell me you can do something.”
“I can’t,” Willow replied, helplessly. “Without Giles’ books or at least some sort of spell ...” She raised her arms and sent another demon down the hole.
“This may be a radical idea,” Ianto said, deadpan, “but have any of you tried just ... blocking the hole? It must at least stop the physical entities unable to teleport?”
Buffy looked at Willow, who shrugged. “Might work,” she admitted. “But plug it with what?”
“Anything!” Owen said, as more demons emerged.
Willow and Tosh raised their arms, books flying from the shelves and coming together, sticking to create a large mass. “God, Giles would kill you!” Buffy exclaimed.
“Giles isn’t here!” Willow replied as the books plugged the hole.
There was another large flash of light and several more demons appeared around the library. “Willow, can you stop them from teleporting? Is there some sort of spell?”
“I’m afraid not,” Willow replied, as they secured the books with magic.
Buffy threw her axe at another demon. “So what do we do? Stay here fending them off until the sun explodes?”
“You’d actually die of starvation first,” Ianto informed her with a smile.
“Thank you, Ianto,” Buffy ground out through her teeth.
“You die now!” a demon snarled at her.
“Oh, bite me,” Buffy replied, snapping its neck.
“With pleasure,” Spike said from across the room. Buffy stuck her tongue out at him. Angel tried to hit him. Spike dodged, smirking. “You’re too easy a target, you big poof,” Spike said.
“At least I don’t make biting jokes.”
“Hey! She makes staking jokes!”
“That was once!” Buffy shouted.
“Children, please!” Ianto said, exasperated.
The three of them turned to look at him. Jack smirked at him, impressed.
“More important issues?” He gestured at the hellmouth.
It was at that moment that Buffy noticed no more demons were appearing and Willow and Tosh were just stood there, giggling at them. “What happened?” she enquired.
“We put a teleport lock. They shouldn’t be able to teleport out very often now,” Willow said, with a grin. “You didn’t even notice!”
“I was distracted,” Buffy whined. “How did you do the lock?” she asked.
“Because ... we’re brilliant!” Tosh exclaimed.
22:31
“Well that was fun,” Gwen grumbled, as she used a pencil to try and pry caked green goop off her shoes.
“Don't complain,” Ianto warned. “It could have been a lot worse.” He put a cup of coffee down on Tosh’s desk. She smiled at him.
“Thank you, Ianto,” she said.
“No problem.” He pointed at the screen, on which was a map of Cardiff. “What’s going on?”
Tosh grimaced. “There are more coming through all over the city. I’ve been tracking it but ...” She clicked a few buttons, showing masses of green, blue, white and red dots all over. “I’ve worked out that when Buffy and the others came through the rift they brought particles of their universe with them, right? So I analysed their latest medical checks and set up a simple scanning system ...” She brought up a third page, which was covered with coding.
“Simple. Yeah,” Ianto said, sarcastically.
Tosh smirked at him and switched the monitor back. “The blue dots are humans from the other universe like Xander and Anya. The green ones are anything dripping with magical energy ... like Willow.” Ianto noticed she smiled fondly when she said her girlfriend’s name, her eyes becoming slightly unfocused until she snapped out of her trance. “So witches and other magically charged demons are green...” She clicked a button, switching the dots around, removing the red and white, leaving the green and blue.
“That’s a lot of witches,” Ianto commented. “Why are there two dots over the hub?”
Tosh blushed. “I think ... I think some of the particles got to me ... so I count as one of them.” The map changed again; green and blue disappearing, white and red appearing.
Ianto sighed. “Okay. So one is Willow and one is you. What are the white dots?”
“Other,” Tosh said. “Like Buffy, who isn’t quite human. They’re half-demons and energy-creatures.” She clicked the map and swapped the dots around, removing the green and blue and replacing with the red and white. “Finally, the red ones are demons. Just standard, run of the mill demons and vampires.”
“There’s something I never expected to hear you say, Tosh,” Ianto said.
“I know. Run of the mill demons ...” She sighed and took off her glasses. “Who’d have expected that?”
“It’s not easy for us, either, you know,” Buffy said, as she walked past, a cup of coffee and a brown folder in her hands. “We’re having to cope with the startling fact that aliens are real.”
“Aliens are more believable than demons, though,” Ianto pointed out.
Buffy snorted. “Hardly!”
“Oh really?” Ianto enquired. “In what way are demons more believable?”
“They’ve been around longer than humans?” Buffy offered. “So we don’t really know what was around before us and ... and as such, they could be!”
“Uh huh.” Ianto raised an eyebrow. “And aliens aren’t believable because we know about everything in space?”
“No ... but ...” Buffy mouthed wordlessly for a moment. “Fine. You win,” she said, irritably, stalking off towards the infirmary.
Ianto smirked and turned back to Tosh. “So what’s the point of this detector? Are we going to hunt down all those red and green dots?”
“I wouldn't go near the green dots with a barge pole!” Tosh exclaimed. “We don’t know anything about them, apart from the fact they are as powerful, if not more powerful, than Willow and me combined.”
“Oh. Fun,” Ianto said sarcastically as he turned to perch on the desk. “The red ones?”
“Depends what Buffy and Jack say,” she replied. “If they think we should try and round some of them up or just let them go about their business.”
“The killer vampires included?” Ianto enquired. “Or are we their friends now?” He looked across the hub at Spike, talking to Willow, the most accepting of the scoobies, and Angel glaring at him from a distance.
“I’ve been wondering the same thing,” Tosh said. “The lines seem to be blurring somewhat.”
“All we need now is John turning up and being welcomes with open arms,” Ianto commented.
“That’s never going to happen,” she told him, firmly. “Not after everything that happened with Grey.”
Ianto was about to respond when Willow came half-skipping across the room towards Tosh. Tosh stood up as she approached and looked towards Jack’s office, gesturing in the air ‘can we go home?’ Jack nodded and Tosh turned to smile at Willow, taking her hand. “Ianto, you don’t need to monitor the map or anything, but just glance at it every now and again before you head home?” she requested. “I’d like to know if it continues to work through the night.”
Ianto nodded. “Will do,” he replied. “Go home.” He smiled. “I would say ‘sleep well’ but something tells me you won’t be sleeping.”
Willow and Tosh blushed together before Willow dragged the Japanese woman off. Ianto chuckled.
23:41
Angel crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his feet.
“Careful, you’ll burn a hole through the floor.”
He looked round to see Gwen stood next to him. He shrugged. “Sorry.”
“I was joking, pet,” Gwen said, putting a hand on his arm. “Want to tell me what’s wrong? You have a face like a slapped arse.”
Angel looked round, surprised. He wasn’t used to things like that being said. He sighed. “Just ... them.” He gestured towards Spike and Willow talking. “Since when do Spike and Willow get on?”
Gwen smiled. “I don’t know. They just seem to these days. He gets on with most of us ... except Xander.”
Angel groaned. “Are you telling me the only one with sense is Xander Harris?” He looked across the room at him, where he was balancing a mug on his head.
“I wouldn't say he has sense. He fell out with Buffy over it for a few months.”
“They fell out?”
“Yeah. They made up though at his wedding.”
“His wedding?” Angel squeaked.
“Yep. To Anya.” She grinned. “It was better than mine. Anya didn’t wake up pregnant.”
Angel shook his head in disbelief. “But why do you like him?” He pointed at Spike again. “What about him could possibly make you like him?”
“He just fits in with us,” Gwen replied, shrugging. “He even saved us once, apparently.”
“Apparently?”
“There’s this whole thing in which we have two missing days. Spike is the only one that knows what happened but he won’t tell us about it. The only thing he’s told us is that Buffy had a lot of making up to do ... And he’s started telling Jack not to flirt with her. Suspicious, I think, but that’s my opinion.”
“How do you know he’s telling the truth?” Angel enquired.
“We trust him.”
At that moment Angel truly believed, for the first time, that he was in an alternate universe.
Although he wasn’t sure he was out of Hell just yet.
Interlude #1: Willow and Tosh
Chapter 16a