FIC: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh My! (11a/?)
Name: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, other characters may follow later…
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
This chapter started off teeth-pullingly difficult. I wrote and rewrote it SIX times. Now I'm still not happy with it (although I love Ianto's sister's character I created and plan to overuse her :P) but my Ianto-muse says it's okay, so I'm going to post it. However, the chapter got a little long ... it went from being impossible to write to impossible to STOP writing. So I'm taking a leaf out of
teachwriteslash's book and splitting it into parts.
Also, thank you to my best friend and almost-sister,
kat_sorfor helping me when I thought the chapter sounded funky :P you're the best.
You need to read the times of this chapter else you will be lost and confused!!
I'll post the next chapter soon!
Previous chapters: Ch.1, Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10
Chapter 11: Ianto's Friday - Part A
Friday 8th August
23:14
Jack looked across at Ianto as he collapsed, butt naked, onto the bed next to him. Jack raised an eyebrow. “Tired?” he enquired.
“Exhausted,” Ianto informed him. “You would not believe the day I’ve had.”
“I’ve had quite a day, too,” Jack replied.
“Yes, I know,” Ianto said. “Martha phoned me. Told me to tell you to tell me all about it, she did.” Ianto looked up at Jack. “You wouldn’t know what she meant by any chance?”
Jack put on his best innocent expression. “Of course not,” he said. He paused and sighed. “You tell me about your day and I’ll tell you about mine.”
Ianto nodded. “Well …”
10:27
When Ianto woke up, he realised, with a start, that he was late for work by about three hours. He held in an angry yell, about to tell Jack off for letting him sleep in, when he realised the older man was not in bed next to him.
He raised an eyebrow and climbed out of bed, pulling on his pants as he went, walking out into the kitchen and looking around.
“I’m not going to be in the hub much tomorrow. I have somewhere to go.”
Realisation dawned and Ianto sighed. He had hated waking up to an empty house ever since he lost Lisa. He walked back through the kitchen and back into the bedroom.
He stopped.
He walked backwards and looked at the coffee table.
There, lying on a note from Jack, was Jack’s mobile phone.
Ianto wondered what was so important that Jack didn’t want to be disturbed by his phone ringing. He picked up the note, reading what was written in Jack’s familiar cursive.
Ianto,
I won’t be home until late tonight. Sorry for leaving so early, I didn’t want you quizzing me on where I was going.
If you want me to, I’ll explain where I’ve been today when I get home tonight.
Hope you didn’t oversleep!
Jack x
Ianto rolled his eyes, wondering, again, where Jack was.
11:14
“Morning, Anya,” Ianto said, as he walked into the tourist office.
Anya looked up from the magazine she was reading. “Ianto. Sleep well?”
“Like a log,” Ianto replied. “I still ache from last night. Did Faith work you that hard, too?”
Anya shrugged. “Xander and I are used to it. We slew four vamps then called it a night.”
“Faith dragged us all around until we’d slain over ten.” Ianto pulled a face. “That woman is a slave driver.”
“She is,” Anya agreed. She looked up at Ianto hovering by the wall and hit the button, opening the way through to the hub. “See you later.”
Ianto smiled at her as he went through the corridors and up the lift, walking into the hub a few minutes later. He walked straight through the hub, stopping by Gwen’s desk to look around. He turned to Tosh. “Where’s Gwen?” he asked.
“Home, I think,” Tosh replied, distractedly.
Ianto groaned. So much for the idea of splitting the work evenly between the staff; he’d have to talk to Gwen later. Or maybe he could tell her she’d be receiving decaf until she started turning up to work on time. He smiled, evilly, to himself, and was about to put on some more coffee when he saw movement in Jack’s office.
He walked up and stood in the doorway, watching for a minute as Faith rifled through his things. He decided to intervene just as she got to the drawer in which Jack kept the special items he used with Ianto. “Anything I can help you with?” he asked, calmly.
She straightened, quickly, and turned around. “Ianto,” she said, a little sheepishly. “I … um … didn’t hear you come in.”
“Apparently,” Ianto replied.
“I was … I was looking for something Jack promised me,” she told him, firmly.
“You were, were you? Did he also say you could rifle through this things until you found it?”
“Yes.” Ianto raised an eyebrow at her. “Well … no … but he said I had to have it.”
“Have what?”
“RetCon.”
“Uh huh. He said that, did he?” Ianto could tell she was lying through her teeth - albeit badly - and was hoping to get a confession out of her.
“Yes, he did.”
“And what would you need RetCon for?” He walked across the room to stand in front of her.
“Um … To RetCon those guys I told about Torchwood.” She opened the desk drawer and Ianto closed it again, almost trapping her fingers. She looked up at him, indignantly, and he merely gazed down at her. “Excuse me,” she snapped.
“Since the Suzie Costello incident,” Ianto started, “RetCon has to be requisitioned and how much is used has to be made a note of. If you require RetCon, I suggest speaking to Jack about it.”
“Jack said I could …” Faith started.
Ianto cut her off. “We both know he didn’t,” he said. “So why don’t you go back to whatever it is you are supposed to be doing and stop rifling through Jack’s office?” He gave Faith his best, dangerous smile, the kind he reserved for cannibals and Jack when annoyed.
Faith, ever the fierce one, stared him down. “Are you calling me a liar?” she asked.
Ianto rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that,” he said, moving to place himself between her and the drawer. She eyed the drawer, suspiciously.
“Is it in there?” she demanded.
“No,” Ianto replied. “I just don’t want you seeing Jack and my …” He let out a polite cough. “… toys.”
Faith seemed to ponder what he’d said for a moment before realising what he was implying. “Oh,” she said. She shrugged. “Fine.” She moved away from the desk and towards the door. “I’ll get it off Owen then.”
“You really won’t,” Ianto informed her, sitting down in Jack’s seat. “It isn’t Owen that keeps the RetCon.”
Faith turned, locking her eyes with Ianto’s. “Gwen?” Ianto shook his head. “Tosh.”
“Nope.” Ianto produced a little white tablet, seemingly out of nowhere. Faith closed her eyes in exasperation. “Trust me when I say you won’t be receiving any RetCon for your uses unless Jack states otherwise.” He tossed the pill in the air then caught it again before secreting it away somewhere safe.
Faith groaned. “Fine,” she said, turning to the door and mumbling, “Teacher’s pet.”
“And don’t you forget it, either,” Ianto said, with a smirk.
11:47
Anya looked up from the magazine she was reading as the door of the tourist office opened and a young woman walked in. She looked around for a moment before approaching Anya.
“Hello,” she said, with a smile. “I was looking for Ianto? I believe he works here?”
Anya looked up. “He does. And you are?”
“Elizabeth Jones,” Libby replied, with a smile. “His sister.”
Nodding, Anya hit the button under the desk. “Go on through then,” she said, distractedly.
Libby’s jaw dropped as the door swung open and, after a brief glance at Anya, who had gone back to reading her magazine, stepped through and followed the corridor until she arrived in the hub.
As the cog door swung to one side, Libby almost fainted at the sight in front of her. She somehow doubted Ianto had been telling the truth when he said he worked at a tourist office.
The sound of the alarms grabbed Ianto’s attention just as he was about to put a cup of coffee down on Tosh’s desk. He turned and saw Libby. “Libby?” he breathed, shocked.
“The … the woman in the tourist office said to come on through…” Libby stuttered.
Ianto touched his earpiece. “Anya,” he ground out.
“Yep?” Anya replied down the line.
“You really have no concept of the meaning of the phrase ‘secret organisation’ do you?” Ianto said, sarcastically. He turned to Libby, who was gaping all the more now. “Libby …” he said, with a sigh. “Welcome to Torchwood.”
“The Torchwood?” Libby gasped. “The Torchwood everyone complains about?”
Ianto nodded. “The very one.”
“You work for Torchwood … a secret organisation …” She blinked hard a few times as she gazed around the room, realising all eyes were on her. “Bloody Hell, Ianto,” she muttered, “and there I was thinking you worked at a boring tourist office.” She looked him over. “I like the suit by the way.”
Ianto smiled and was about to say something when Buffy came out of the vaults covered in something brown and disgusting looking (and smelling). “Ianto,” she said. “I was just feeding Janet and …” She paused, seeing Libby. “Who’s this?” she asked.
“This is my sister, Libby,” Ianto informed Buffy. “Libby, this is Buffy.”
Buffy wiped her face to try and remove some of the brown stuff and merely achieved plastering more on her skin. “I didn’t know we were allowed to bring family here,” she said, pointedly.
“Anya let her in,” Ianto said. “She knew I worked here just not … well … here.”
“Well, she can’t stay! Jack’ll have my hide if I let a civilian find out about this place while I’m in charge.”
Ianto reached out and flicked a large glob of brown stuff off Buffy’s nose. “Is it me or every time you’re in charge you end up covered in something gross?”
Buffy swatted at his hand and held out her own menacingly; a silent threat to soil his suit. “It’s not my fault Janet threw my own bucket at me. I offended her.”
“Janet?” Libby asked, weakly.
Buffy closed her eyes in exasperation and Ianto silently wondered if this could get any worse.
“Owen, Angel won’t drink his blood,” Willow announced, coming out of a different set of vaults. “He goes fangy, but he won’t drink.”
“Did she just say blood? And fangy?” Libby muttered.
“Willow, try just leaving the packet of blood on the floor for him,” Owen shouted from inside the autopsy bay.
“Alright,” Willow replied, vanishing again.
“Is it always like this here?” Libby asked.
“No, this is a slow day,” Ianto responded.
Buffy looked at him, then Libby, in turn. “I think we should call Jack and see what he wants to do about the situation,” she said to him after a moment.
“We can’t,” Ianto told her. “He’s away doing something today.”
“Doing what?”
“I don’t know! I’m his partner, not his keeper,” Ianto retorted. “It’s not like she’s going to tell anyone, though. She knows it could endanger herself and others.”
“She’s also still in the room,” Libby piped up.
“Jack is very strict about these things,” Buffy said, irritated.
“We didn’t do anything about Rhys!”
“That was different.”
Ianto glowered at Buffy. “First off, you were still in your alternate universe when that happened and you don’t know the circumstances. Second, the difference is that Libby and I are family and have never fallen out once in our life whereas Rhys could dump Gwen at any moment - and God knows, none of us could blame him -”
“Be nice,” Buffy warned.
“- and decide to start telling people about us out of spite. Libby won’t do that.”
Buffy was about to come out with a smart response when Ianto’s mobile rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the screen - Martha.
“Don’t do anything until I get back,” he told Buffy, firmly. “We have a lot more arguing to do about this.” He touched Libby’s arm, gently, and walked away into Jack’s office, answering the phone as he went. “Martha?”
“Hi Ianto. Sorry to disturb you today of all days … I wouldn’t usually considering …”
“Considering what? What about today?” Ianto asked, confused.
“Didn’t Jack tell you?” Martha muttered a string of obscenities that would make even Owen blush. “I’m going to kill him,” she announced, after a moment. “He’s so pigheaded.” She let out a calming sigh. “Get him to tell you where he’s been today, tonight. Make sure he tells you,” she commanded. “Tell him if he doesn’t the combined forces of the Jones’ will kick his butt.”
Ianto chuckled. “Will do. Now, what do you need? We have a situation here at the moment.” He glanced out of Jack’s office to see Libby and Buffy talking. Buffy didn’t look very pleased (although it would be hard to look pleased whilst being covered with shit).
“I just need some information transferred to me,” Martha said. “U.N.I.T. needs some information on an alien we captured.” She sighed. “Big feisty thing. Apparently, Jack had mentioned it to some guy from U.N.I.T. a while back, so we assumed you have information on it.”
Ianto nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Alright,” he said. “Send me the details and I’ll send you the information you need.” He looked out towards the hub at Buffy and Libby, who were now arguing over something. “When are you coming back to Torchwood next?” he asked. She had been planning ever since she left to come back. She’d made more friends at Torchwood in the month she’d spent there than at U.N.I.T. where she’d been working almost a year.
Martha let out a frustrated noise down the end of the line. “They won’t let me out yet. I’ve applied for a transfer, but they keep delaying.”
“Want me to post them a weevil?” Ianto asked, with a chuckle.
Laughing, Martha replied, “Nah … I’ll get them to let me come up eventually.” There was the sound of a man shouting on the other end of the line. “I have to go. Remember to speak to Jack … oh, and tell him I’m going to kill him.”
Ianto didn’t know whether to chuckle at that (part of him doubted she was kidding) as he replied, “Okay. Speak to you soon, Martha. I’ll send you those files as soon as I receive your email.”
There was a click signalling that Martha had hung up and Ianto followed suit, slipping the phone back into his jacket and walking back into the hub. Libby and Buffy were now standing back to back, obviously not speaking. “Do I dare ask what happened?” Ianto asked, exasperated.
Libby glowered at him. “I asked what exactly it was that you do here … but she wouldn’t tell me.” She pointed an accusing finger at Buffy, who rolled her eyes, dumping the bucket of brown stuff on the ground.
“It’s bad enough you know this place exists in the first place!” she pointed out, angrily. “I can’t go telling you all our secrets!”
Ianto poked Buffy on the shoulder and pointed at the bucket. “If that leaves a stain; you’re the one clearing it up.”
Buffy glanced down at it, then glowered at Ianto and picked it up again. “Do you think Jack would mind if I used his shower?” she asked.
Ianto shrugged. “Doubt it,” he replied.
Myfanwy chose that exact moment to circle overhead and catch Libby’s attention. She squealed and ducked instinctively then, feeling stupid, straightened up again. “Is that a pterodactyl?” she enquired.
Ianto nodded. “Yeah …” he said. “We have a lot to talk about.” He paused. “Once I deal with Anya.”
Buffy looked round. “Deal with Anya?”
“She let Libby come straight through,” Ianto said. “She wasn’t supposed to, obviously.”
“I can deal with Anya if you like,” Buffy replied. “Demon-slayer to ex-demon … and I just said that in front of your sister.” She pulled a face and grabbed Ianto’s arm, dragging him out of Libby’s hearing range. “I know I’m in charge while Jack’s away, but I don’t know what to do about this. Talk to Jack when he comes back. Bring up Rhys if you feel the need … see what he says.”
“I might as well show Libby around,” Ianto said, watching her out of the corner of his eye as she moved slowly through the hub, poking random objects, curiously. “And I’ll explain to her that she can’t tell our parents or anyone else.” He sighed. “I have to wonder if this day could get any more complic-”
Buffy clapped a hand over his mouth to shut him up. “Oh no you don’t!” she exclaimed. “You’ll just jinx it if say what you were about to say! Don’t say it!” Ianto nodded behind her hand, a little taken-aback by her forcefulness. She removed her hand with a sigh, smirking at the brown grime she’d left behind. “You might want to wash your face,” she said, not giving him chance to react before she ran off to dispose of the bucket and take a shower.
Ianto touched his mouth and wiped off the brown sludge with a grimace before walking across to his sister. “You want to see the rest of Torchwood and know what I do?” Libby nodded. “Follow me then.”
12:34
“You catch aliens,” Libby repeated for the sixth time.
“Yes,” Ianto told her again, his exasperation levels mounting. “I catch aliens for a living. Demons, too, now, but that’s not the point.”
Libby leaned back in the chair in Jack’s office and closed her eyes. “I feel like I’ve stepped into the Bizzaro world.”
“It does have that impact on you,” Ianto said.
“Rift in time and space … okay, I can get that. And aliens; after the Cybermen and the Christmas star and the hospital on the moon - I don’t believe that, by the way…”
“It happened,” Ianto informed her. “One of Jack’s closest friends was in that hospital.”
Libby blinked, but decided on not commenting on that. “Where does he factor into this, by the way? You said he was your boss…”
“He is. This is his office.” Ianto gestured around the room. “He’s in charge of the alien and demon catching.”
“And that girl … um … what was her name … Buffy? You said something about an alternate universe?” Libby quizzed.
“Yeah … she’s from an alternate universe in which demons and vampires are real, and those vampires and demons are now bleeding through into our world.” He pulled a face. “It’s very complicated.”
Libby nodded. “I can understand that.”
“How come you came to visit me, by the way?” Ianto asked, after a moment.
“Eh. I came to pass on a message from mom. She says she wants you to come and see her and the family some time next week. I think she wants to apologise for being so strange when you came out,” Libby said.
Ianto nodded. “Alright. I’ll drop by soon.”
Libby sighed. “She isn’t going to disown you, Yan, you do know that, right?”
Ianto shrugged. “I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Well, she’s not. None of us are.” She paused and pulled a face. “Well…Barry might, but that’s his problem.”
“I really don’t care if Barry disowns me,” Ianto admitted with a laugh. “He didn’t like me before he found out I was in a homosexual relationship … I doubt he’ll like me any more now.”
Libby laughed along with him. “I won’t tell anyone what I found out today,” she promised, sobering.
“I know you won’t,” Ianto replied, with a smile. “I trust you. I would have told you myself, but it wasn’t allowed.”
“How long have you been working for Torchwood?” Libby asked.
“Oh … quite a few years now,” Ianto told her.
“Did Lisa know?”
Ianto’s eyes closed. It still hurt to think of Lisa. “I met her through Torchwood London,” he said, quietly.
“I see,” Libby said. “So that’s why you broke up? You came here and she stayed there?”
Ianto averted his gaze. “I guess.”
“Yan, what aren’t you telling me?”
Leaning on the desk, Ianto placed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Lisa isn’t still in London, Lib,” he said. “She’s dead.”
“How?” Libby asked after a moment.
“The Cybermen got her,” Ianto replied, simply. “She died at Canary Wharf.”
“Oh …” There was pity in her voice, something Ianto didn’t need.
Lucky for him, Buffy chose that moment to barge in, now clean, and announce, “We just got reports of an alien sighting four miles from here,” she said. “Coming?”
Ianto glanced at Libby, then back at Buffy. “Yes, of course.” He stood up. “Stay here,” he told Libby.
“Yeah right!” Libby scoffed. “I’ve never seen a real life alien before -”
“Good!” Ianto cut in.
“- but now I can. I’m coming with you!”
Ianto groaned. “Fine! But you’re not joining Torchwood. Ever! And you stay back!”
Libby giggled. “Whatever you say,” she said, disparagingly.
Ianto glowered at her. “No. Not ‘whatever I say’!”
The three of them left the office and Ianto sped up to walk beside Buffy. “Do you really think her coming along is a good idea?” Buffy demanded.
“Have you ever tried arguing with my sister?” Ianto replied. “We’d be here all day!”
Buffy rolled her eyes, but didn’t comment.
Next Chapter here.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, other characters may follow later…
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
This chapter started off teeth-pullingly difficult. I wrote and rewrote it SIX times. Now I'm still not happy with it (although I love Ianto's sister's character I created and plan to overuse her :P) but my Ianto-muse says it's okay, so I'm going to post it. However, the chapter got a little long ... it went from being impossible to write to impossible to STOP writing. So I'm taking a leaf out of
teachwriteslash's book and splitting it into parts.
Also, thank you to my best friend and almost-sister,
kat_sorfor helping me when I thought the chapter sounded funky :P you're the best.
You need to read the times of this chapter else you will be lost and confused!!
I'll post the next chapter soon!
Previous chapters: Ch.1, Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10
Chapter 11: Ianto's Friday - Part A
Friday 8th August
23:14
Jack looked across at Ianto as he collapsed, butt naked, onto the bed next to him. Jack raised an eyebrow. “Tired?” he enquired.
“Exhausted,” Ianto informed him. “You would not believe the day I’ve had.”
“I’ve had quite a day, too,” Jack replied.
“Yes, I know,” Ianto said. “Martha phoned me. Told me to tell you to tell me all about it, she did.” Ianto looked up at Jack. “You wouldn’t know what she meant by any chance?”
Jack put on his best innocent expression. “Of course not,” he said. He paused and sighed. “You tell me about your day and I’ll tell you about mine.”
Ianto nodded. “Well …”
10:27
When Ianto woke up, he realised, with a start, that he was late for work by about three hours. He held in an angry yell, about to tell Jack off for letting him sleep in, when he realised the older man was not in bed next to him.
He raised an eyebrow and climbed out of bed, pulling on his pants as he went, walking out into the kitchen and looking around.
“I’m not going to be in the hub much tomorrow. I have somewhere to go.”
Realisation dawned and Ianto sighed. He had hated waking up to an empty house ever since he lost Lisa. He walked back through the kitchen and back into the bedroom.
He stopped.
He walked backwards and looked at the coffee table.
There, lying on a note from Jack, was Jack’s mobile phone.
Ianto wondered what was so important that Jack didn’t want to be disturbed by his phone ringing. He picked up the note, reading what was written in Jack’s familiar cursive.
Ianto,
I won’t be home until late tonight. Sorry for leaving so early, I didn’t want you quizzing me on where I was going.
If you want me to, I’ll explain where I’ve been today when I get home tonight.
Hope you didn’t oversleep!
Jack x
Ianto rolled his eyes, wondering, again, where Jack was.
11:14
“Morning, Anya,” Ianto said, as he walked into the tourist office.
Anya looked up from the magazine she was reading. “Ianto. Sleep well?”
“Like a log,” Ianto replied. “I still ache from last night. Did Faith work you that hard, too?”
Anya shrugged. “Xander and I are used to it. We slew four vamps then called it a night.”
“Faith dragged us all around until we’d slain over ten.” Ianto pulled a face. “That woman is a slave driver.”
“She is,” Anya agreed. She looked up at Ianto hovering by the wall and hit the button, opening the way through to the hub. “See you later.”
Ianto smiled at her as he went through the corridors and up the lift, walking into the hub a few minutes later. He walked straight through the hub, stopping by Gwen’s desk to look around. He turned to Tosh. “Where’s Gwen?” he asked.
“Home, I think,” Tosh replied, distractedly.
Ianto groaned. So much for the idea of splitting the work evenly between the staff; he’d have to talk to Gwen later. Or maybe he could tell her she’d be receiving decaf until she started turning up to work on time. He smiled, evilly, to himself, and was about to put on some more coffee when he saw movement in Jack’s office.
He walked up and stood in the doorway, watching for a minute as Faith rifled through his things. He decided to intervene just as she got to the drawer in which Jack kept the special items he used with Ianto. “Anything I can help you with?” he asked, calmly.
She straightened, quickly, and turned around. “Ianto,” she said, a little sheepishly. “I … um … didn’t hear you come in.”
“Apparently,” Ianto replied.
“I was … I was looking for something Jack promised me,” she told him, firmly.
“You were, were you? Did he also say you could rifle through this things until you found it?”
“Yes.” Ianto raised an eyebrow at her. “Well … no … but he said I had to have it.”
“Have what?”
“RetCon.”
“Uh huh. He said that, did he?” Ianto could tell she was lying through her teeth - albeit badly - and was hoping to get a confession out of her.
“Yes, he did.”
“And what would you need RetCon for?” He walked across the room to stand in front of her.
“Um … To RetCon those guys I told about Torchwood.” She opened the desk drawer and Ianto closed it again, almost trapping her fingers. She looked up at him, indignantly, and he merely gazed down at her. “Excuse me,” she snapped.
“Since the Suzie Costello incident,” Ianto started, “RetCon has to be requisitioned and how much is used has to be made a note of. If you require RetCon, I suggest speaking to Jack about it.”
“Jack said I could …” Faith started.
Ianto cut her off. “We both know he didn’t,” he said. “So why don’t you go back to whatever it is you are supposed to be doing and stop rifling through Jack’s office?” He gave Faith his best, dangerous smile, the kind he reserved for cannibals and Jack when annoyed.
Faith, ever the fierce one, stared him down. “Are you calling me a liar?” she asked.
Ianto rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me that,” he said, moving to place himself between her and the drawer. She eyed the drawer, suspiciously.
“Is it in there?” she demanded.
“No,” Ianto replied. “I just don’t want you seeing Jack and my …” He let out a polite cough. “… toys.”
Faith seemed to ponder what he’d said for a moment before realising what he was implying. “Oh,” she said. She shrugged. “Fine.” She moved away from the desk and towards the door. “I’ll get it off Owen then.”
“You really won’t,” Ianto informed her, sitting down in Jack’s seat. “It isn’t Owen that keeps the RetCon.”
Faith turned, locking her eyes with Ianto’s. “Gwen?” Ianto shook his head. “Tosh.”
“Nope.” Ianto produced a little white tablet, seemingly out of nowhere. Faith closed her eyes in exasperation. “Trust me when I say you won’t be receiving any RetCon for your uses unless Jack states otherwise.” He tossed the pill in the air then caught it again before secreting it away somewhere safe.
Faith groaned. “Fine,” she said, turning to the door and mumbling, “Teacher’s pet.”
“And don’t you forget it, either,” Ianto said, with a smirk.
11:47
Anya looked up from the magazine she was reading as the door of the tourist office opened and a young woman walked in. She looked around for a moment before approaching Anya.
“Hello,” she said, with a smile. “I was looking for Ianto? I believe he works here?”
Anya looked up. “He does. And you are?”
“Elizabeth Jones,” Libby replied, with a smile. “His sister.”
Nodding, Anya hit the button under the desk. “Go on through then,” she said, distractedly.
Libby’s jaw dropped as the door swung open and, after a brief glance at Anya, who had gone back to reading her magazine, stepped through and followed the corridor until she arrived in the hub.
As the cog door swung to one side, Libby almost fainted at the sight in front of her. She somehow doubted Ianto had been telling the truth when he said he worked at a tourist office.
The sound of the alarms grabbed Ianto’s attention just as he was about to put a cup of coffee down on Tosh’s desk. He turned and saw Libby. “Libby?” he breathed, shocked.
“The … the woman in the tourist office said to come on through…” Libby stuttered.
Ianto touched his earpiece. “Anya,” he ground out.
“Yep?” Anya replied down the line.
“You really have no concept of the meaning of the phrase ‘secret organisation’ do you?” Ianto said, sarcastically. He turned to Libby, who was gaping all the more now. “Libby …” he said, with a sigh. “Welcome to Torchwood.”
“The Torchwood?” Libby gasped. “The Torchwood everyone complains about?”
Ianto nodded. “The very one.”
“You work for Torchwood … a secret organisation …” She blinked hard a few times as she gazed around the room, realising all eyes were on her. “Bloody Hell, Ianto,” she muttered, “and there I was thinking you worked at a boring tourist office.” She looked him over. “I like the suit by the way.”
Ianto smiled and was about to say something when Buffy came out of the vaults covered in something brown and disgusting looking (and smelling). “Ianto,” she said. “I was just feeding Janet and …” She paused, seeing Libby. “Who’s this?” she asked.
“This is my sister, Libby,” Ianto informed Buffy. “Libby, this is Buffy.”
Buffy wiped her face to try and remove some of the brown stuff and merely achieved plastering more on her skin. “I didn’t know we were allowed to bring family here,” she said, pointedly.
“Anya let her in,” Ianto said. “She knew I worked here just not … well … here.”
“Well, she can’t stay! Jack’ll have my hide if I let a civilian find out about this place while I’m in charge.”
Ianto reached out and flicked a large glob of brown stuff off Buffy’s nose. “Is it me or every time you’re in charge you end up covered in something gross?”
Buffy swatted at his hand and held out her own menacingly; a silent threat to soil his suit. “It’s not my fault Janet threw my own bucket at me. I offended her.”
“Janet?” Libby asked, weakly.
Buffy closed her eyes in exasperation and Ianto silently wondered if this could get any worse.
“Owen, Angel won’t drink his blood,” Willow announced, coming out of a different set of vaults. “He goes fangy, but he won’t drink.”
“Did she just say blood? And fangy?” Libby muttered.
“Willow, try just leaving the packet of blood on the floor for him,” Owen shouted from inside the autopsy bay.
“Alright,” Willow replied, vanishing again.
“Is it always like this here?” Libby asked.
“No, this is a slow day,” Ianto responded.
Buffy looked at him, then Libby, in turn. “I think we should call Jack and see what he wants to do about the situation,” she said to him after a moment.
“We can’t,” Ianto told her. “He’s away doing something today.”
“Doing what?”
“I don’t know! I’m his partner, not his keeper,” Ianto retorted. “It’s not like she’s going to tell anyone, though. She knows it could endanger herself and others.”
“She’s also still in the room,” Libby piped up.
“Jack is very strict about these things,” Buffy said, irritated.
“We didn’t do anything about Rhys!”
“That was different.”
Ianto glowered at Buffy. “First off, you were still in your alternate universe when that happened and you don’t know the circumstances. Second, the difference is that Libby and I are family and have never fallen out once in our life whereas Rhys could dump Gwen at any moment - and God knows, none of us could blame him -”
“Be nice,” Buffy warned.
“- and decide to start telling people about us out of spite. Libby won’t do that.”
Buffy was about to come out with a smart response when Ianto’s mobile rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the screen - Martha.
“Don’t do anything until I get back,” he told Buffy, firmly. “We have a lot more arguing to do about this.” He touched Libby’s arm, gently, and walked away into Jack’s office, answering the phone as he went. “Martha?”
“Hi Ianto. Sorry to disturb you today of all days … I wouldn’t usually considering …”
“Considering what? What about today?” Ianto asked, confused.
“Didn’t Jack tell you?” Martha muttered a string of obscenities that would make even Owen blush. “I’m going to kill him,” she announced, after a moment. “He’s so pigheaded.” She let out a calming sigh. “Get him to tell you where he’s been today, tonight. Make sure he tells you,” she commanded. “Tell him if he doesn’t the combined forces of the Jones’ will kick his butt.”
Ianto chuckled. “Will do. Now, what do you need? We have a situation here at the moment.” He glanced out of Jack’s office to see Libby and Buffy talking. Buffy didn’t look very pleased (although it would be hard to look pleased whilst being covered with shit).
“I just need some information transferred to me,” Martha said. “U.N.I.T. needs some information on an alien we captured.” She sighed. “Big feisty thing. Apparently, Jack had mentioned it to some guy from U.N.I.T. a while back, so we assumed you have information on it.”
Ianto nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Alright,” he said. “Send me the details and I’ll send you the information you need.” He looked out towards the hub at Buffy and Libby, who were now arguing over something. “When are you coming back to Torchwood next?” he asked. She had been planning ever since she left to come back. She’d made more friends at Torchwood in the month she’d spent there than at U.N.I.T. where she’d been working almost a year.
Martha let out a frustrated noise down the end of the line. “They won’t let me out yet. I’ve applied for a transfer, but they keep delaying.”
“Want me to post them a weevil?” Ianto asked, with a chuckle.
Laughing, Martha replied, “Nah … I’ll get them to let me come up eventually.” There was the sound of a man shouting on the other end of the line. “I have to go. Remember to speak to Jack … oh, and tell him I’m going to kill him.”
Ianto didn’t know whether to chuckle at that (part of him doubted she was kidding) as he replied, “Okay. Speak to you soon, Martha. I’ll send you those files as soon as I receive your email.”
There was a click signalling that Martha had hung up and Ianto followed suit, slipping the phone back into his jacket and walking back into the hub. Libby and Buffy were now standing back to back, obviously not speaking. “Do I dare ask what happened?” Ianto asked, exasperated.
Libby glowered at him. “I asked what exactly it was that you do here … but she wouldn’t tell me.” She pointed an accusing finger at Buffy, who rolled her eyes, dumping the bucket of brown stuff on the ground.
“It’s bad enough you know this place exists in the first place!” she pointed out, angrily. “I can’t go telling you all our secrets!”
Ianto poked Buffy on the shoulder and pointed at the bucket. “If that leaves a stain; you’re the one clearing it up.”
Buffy glanced down at it, then glowered at Ianto and picked it up again. “Do you think Jack would mind if I used his shower?” she asked.
Ianto shrugged. “Doubt it,” he replied.
Myfanwy chose that exact moment to circle overhead and catch Libby’s attention. She squealed and ducked instinctively then, feeling stupid, straightened up again. “Is that a pterodactyl?” she enquired.
Ianto nodded. “Yeah …” he said. “We have a lot to talk about.” He paused. “Once I deal with Anya.”
Buffy looked round. “Deal with Anya?”
“She let Libby come straight through,” Ianto said. “She wasn’t supposed to, obviously.”
“I can deal with Anya if you like,” Buffy replied. “Demon-slayer to ex-demon … and I just said that in front of your sister.” She pulled a face and grabbed Ianto’s arm, dragging him out of Libby’s hearing range. “I know I’m in charge while Jack’s away, but I don’t know what to do about this. Talk to Jack when he comes back. Bring up Rhys if you feel the need … see what he says.”
“I might as well show Libby around,” Ianto said, watching her out of the corner of his eye as she moved slowly through the hub, poking random objects, curiously. “And I’ll explain to her that she can’t tell our parents or anyone else.” He sighed. “I have to wonder if this day could get any more complic-”
Buffy clapped a hand over his mouth to shut him up. “Oh no you don’t!” she exclaimed. “You’ll just jinx it if say what you were about to say! Don’t say it!” Ianto nodded behind her hand, a little taken-aback by her forcefulness. She removed her hand with a sigh, smirking at the brown grime she’d left behind. “You might want to wash your face,” she said, not giving him chance to react before she ran off to dispose of the bucket and take a shower.
Ianto touched his mouth and wiped off the brown sludge with a grimace before walking across to his sister. “You want to see the rest of Torchwood and know what I do?” Libby nodded. “Follow me then.”
12:34
“You catch aliens,” Libby repeated for the sixth time.
“Yes,” Ianto told her again, his exasperation levels mounting. “I catch aliens for a living. Demons, too, now, but that’s not the point.”
Libby leaned back in the chair in Jack’s office and closed her eyes. “I feel like I’ve stepped into the Bizzaro world.”
“It does have that impact on you,” Ianto said.
“Rift in time and space … okay, I can get that. And aliens; after the Cybermen and the Christmas star and the hospital on the moon - I don’t believe that, by the way…”
“It happened,” Ianto informed her. “One of Jack’s closest friends was in that hospital.”
Libby blinked, but decided on not commenting on that. “Where does he factor into this, by the way? You said he was your boss…”
“He is. This is his office.” Ianto gestured around the room. “He’s in charge of the alien and demon catching.”
“And that girl … um … what was her name … Buffy? You said something about an alternate universe?” Libby quizzed.
“Yeah … she’s from an alternate universe in which demons and vampires are real, and those vampires and demons are now bleeding through into our world.” He pulled a face. “It’s very complicated.”
Libby nodded. “I can understand that.”
“How come you came to visit me, by the way?” Ianto asked, after a moment.
“Eh. I came to pass on a message from mom. She says she wants you to come and see her and the family some time next week. I think she wants to apologise for being so strange when you came out,” Libby said.
Ianto nodded. “Alright. I’ll drop by soon.”
Libby sighed. “She isn’t going to disown you, Yan, you do know that, right?”
Ianto shrugged. “I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Well, she’s not. None of us are.” She paused and pulled a face. “Well…Barry might, but that’s his problem.”
“I really don’t care if Barry disowns me,” Ianto admitted with a laugh. “He didn’t like me before he found out I was in a homosexual relationship … I doubt he’ll like me any more now.”
Libby laughed along with him. “I won’t tell anyone what I found out today,” she promised, sobering.
“I know you won’t,” Ianto replied, with a smile. “I trust you. I would have told you myself, but it wasn’t allowed.”
“How long have you been working for Torchwood?” Libby asked.
“Oh … quite a few years now,” Ianto told her.
“Did Lisa know?”
Ianto’s eyes closed. It still hurt to think of Lisa. “I met her through Torchwood London,” he said, quietly.
“I see,” Libby said. “So that’s why you broke up? You came here and she stayed there?”
Ianto averted his gaze. “I guess.”
“Yan, what aren’t you telling me?”
Leaning on the desk, Ianto placed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Lisa isn’t still in London, Lib,” he said. “She’s dead.”
“How?” Libby asked after a moment.
“The Cybermen got her,” Ianto replied, simply. “She died at Canary Wharf.”
“Oh …” There was pity in her voice, something Ianto didn’t need.
Lucky for him, Buffy chose that moment to barge in, now clean, and announce, “We just got reports of an alien sighting four miles from here,” she said. “Coming?”
Ianto glanced at Libby, then back at Buffy. “Yes, of course.” He stood up. “Stay here,” he told Libby.
“Yeah right!” Libby scoffed. “I’ve never seen a real life alien before -”
“Good!” Ianto cut in.
“- but now I can. I’m coming with you!”
Ianto groaned. “Fine! But you’re not joining Torchwood. Ever! And you stay back!”
Libby giggled. “Whatever you say,” she said, disparagingly.
Ianto glowered at her. “No. Not ‘whatever I say’!”
The three of them left the office and Ianto sped up to walk beside Buffy. “Do you really think her coming along is a good idea?” Buffy demanded.
“Have you ever tried arguing with my sister?” Ianto replied. “We’d be here all day!”
Buffy rolled her eyes, but didn’t comment.
Next Chapter here.