FIC: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my! (22b/?)
Name: Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Rating: R - ALA. (Angry Libby Alert)
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Also, for those who are interested, posted earlier was the first chapter of "Remember", a fic based on Adam set between Magic and Mayhem at the Rift and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Click here to read chapter 1.
Thanks to skullgirl013 for betaing, as always :)
For cherry_soup888 cherry_soup888 who wanted something funny. Hope this is okay!
I know I said there wouldn't be another chapter today but ... meh. Blame lack of caffeine? Or too much? Whatever.
=)
Previous chapters: Ch.1 Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b Ch.17a Ch.17b Ch.18a Ch.18b Ch.19a Ch.19b Ch.19c Ch.20a Ch.20b Ch.20c Ch.21a Ch.21b Ch.21c Ch.22a
Chapter 22b: Together.
Wednesday 24th August
19:19
“What the hell are you doing?” Ianto spluttered indignantly as Faith and Martha stood between him and Jack’s office.
“Stopping you from going in,” Faith explained, deadpan.
“Ooh, mental images,” Martha said.
Faith chuckled.
“Okay, beyond having images of me and Jack’s sexual activities in your brain, what the hell are you doing?”
“Told you,” Faith said. “Stopping you from going in. It was her idea.” She pointed at Martha.
Martha sent her a dirty look, but said nothing.
“Okay ... why?”
“Because it’s the night before your wedding,” Martha said.
“Say it a little louder why don't you? And it’s not my wedding, it’s my Civil Partnership, and I ask again why?” The last word was mostly snarled. It didn’t faze the two women one bit.
“Well, no matter what it is, we’re taking you out tonight.”
“Why?” Ianto asked, blankly.
“Because we want to talk to you.”
Beginning to feel like a broken record, Ianto said, “Why?”
“Stop asking why.”
“Why?” This time Ianto just wanted to annoy them.
Faith growled. “Because we want to talk to you.”
“You’ve said that already.”
Martha rolled her eyes and walked forward to be toe-to-toe with the annoyed Welshman. “We want to talk to you about Jack and this wed-Civil Partnership. And your intentions.”
Ianto spluttered, indignantly.
“Oh, and we wanted to tell you we made a huge mistake.”
“What.” The word wasn’t truly a question.
“We sort of ... Well, you know how you and Jack asked us to get your rings for you?” Ianto nodded. “We were in the jewellers when...”
“When what?”
“Libbycameinandsawtheringsjustasthejewellerreadouttheinscriptions,” Martha said in a rush. “Which were very pretty, by the way. Who would have thought Jack could be so eloquent?”
“Jack was eloquent? Don't tell me, he doesn’t want me to know what he wrote until tomorrow. And ...” He paused. “Wait one moment.”
Martha and Faith took one step backwards.
“Did you just say my sister knows?”
Martha nodded, silently.
“My sister; Libby, knows I’m getting ma...undergoing a Civil partnership?”
Faith nodded.
Ianto closed his eyes. “Tell me again why you’re blocking my way?”
“Because we promised to deliver you to her.”
“Deliver me to her? What am I, a parcel?”
“Okay, you grew up with her ... you know how menacing she can be. Vampires, demons and Torchwood? Sure I can face them down. Her? I’m just gonna do what she says,” Faith said.
Ianto sighed. “But why are you blocking my way?”
“She told us not to let you bring in reinforcements.”
“She...what?”
“She said if you brought Jack along you’d hide behind him and she wanted to be able to yell at you directly like she’s always done.”
Ianto sighed again. “There’s no getting out of this, is there?”
“Not unless you want us to tell Gwen. Then you’ll have to deal with her, Libby, Buffy and Tosh.”
“Please ... don’t ... tell ... Gwen ...” Ianto begged.
“Then come with us,” Martha said. “Because, frankly, I’m scared of what your sister will do to us if we don't bring you with us.”
“Let me just tell Jack I’m going out.” Martha opened her mouth to speak. “I won’t let him come with me. I’ll tell him I’m meeting Libby alone. Alright?” She nodded. “Thank you.” He moved between them and stepped into Jack’s office, walking over to the desk, leaning on it and bending down to kiss him softly. “I’m going out.”
“Oh? Where?”
“To meet my sister. I’ll be back soon.” He bent down to kiss Jack again, but avoided his lips, kissing by his ear. “If I’m not back in an hour,” he whispered, “call me in.”
When he pulled back, Jack was grinning. “Scared?” he whispered.
“Of my sister?” Ianto scoffed. “More like terrified.”
19:34
The restaurant Libby asked them to meet her in was the same one Ianto swore he saw Jack in a few years before with a blonde woman and a man in a leather jacket, even when he knew he was back at the hub. He’d been tracking his movements closely, back then; scared he’d go too far into the archives. Jack had tried to keep him in the hub a variety of different ways that day, but Ianto had been determined to go out; he’d needed a new part for Lisa’s adjusted conversion unit. Jack hadn’t been pleased, but had relented in the end.
Ianto had been very persuasive without touching Jack once, a skill he’d seemed to lose since.
He looked round at Martha and Faith, who were flanking him as though they thought he was about to run off, and then cast his eyes back towards the restaurant.
“Can’t you just tell her I’m dead?” he pleaded.
“Not even funny, Welsh boy,” Faith said.
“I’m older than you!” Ianto spluttered.
“Not according to my birth certificate.”
“Yes, actually. We bumped the years forward, remember?”
Faith glared darkly at him as Martha grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the restaurant from which Libby was emerging. She saw them and instantly ran at Ianto, flinging her arms around his neck.
Then she pulled back. “Why am I hugging you?” she demanded. He looked at her blankly. She hit him on the shoulder.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Not telling me you’re getting married!” Libby retorted.
“I’m not getting married!” Ianto told her. “It’s a Civil Partnership.”
“Oh, for crying out loud, Yan, it’s the same fucking thing.” She held up her hand. “Don't you dare scold me for my language.”
Ianto mouthed wordlessly.
“I’m just hurt you didn’t tell me,” she said. “And as for you two!” she exclaimed as Martha and Faith tried to tiptoe away. “I’m angry you didn’t tell me as soon as you found out!”
“We were sworn to secrecy!” Martha said.
“We promised,” Faith said. “Jack would have kicked our asses.”
“I’m going to kick your asses in a minute!” Libby said. “I’m his sister, I had a right to know!”
Ianto sighed. “You’re right,” he admitted, reluctantly. “And I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”
“Too right you fucking won’t!” Libby scolded. “First off, you won’t be doing that again because I won’t let you,” she said. “Secondly, you’re not getting married again. You’ve found someone great and I won’t let you give him up.”
Ianto nodded, solemnly. “I don't plan to.”
“Also, I want to come.”
“What?”
“To your wedding.” Ianto opened his mouth. “Civil partnership,” she corrected, “whatever.”
Ianto sighed. “It’s just going to be me and Jack signing some papers with Martha and Faith as witnesses.”
“I want to be there.”
“It’s going to be terribly boring.”
“I. Want. To. Be. There.” Her tone left no room for argument.
Defeated, Ianto relented. “Fine,” he said. “But” - he pointed at the restaurant - “I want dinner first.”
Libby smiled. “You got it.”
“You’re paying.”
She snorted. “In your dreams.”
Next: Chapter 22c
Rating: R - ALA. (Angry Libby Alert)
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tosh, Xander/Anya, Martha, Owen, Faith, some minor OCs, the Doctor, Donna.
Summary: Sequel to Magic and Mayhem at the Rift. The Scoobie gang, now fully integrated into the Torchwood group and settled in to their new lives, discover there’s more coming through the rift than the odd demon and alien. This story is set post Exit Wounds, so there are minor spoilers. However, I have major problems with Exit Wounds and, as such, only some of the storyline happened (same goes for Reset which, although it happened, did not end like it did in the series in my head. Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death DID NOT HAPPEN. I’m in my happy place now ...). Episodes like Adrift, Something Borrowed and Out of the Rain did happen, though (Like I said before: happy place) and may be referred to or even flash-backed to from time to time.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood or Buffy the Vampire Slayer … I do however own the cracked story idea - and proud of it, thankyouverymuch! I don’t own the title of this story either, however, that was thought up by the wonderful ickle18(I say wonderful because anyone who can come up with this title must be), the daughter of missthingsplace THANK YOU!
My other stories and links to the chapters of Magic and Mayhem (and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood) can be found here, at my master list.
Also, for those who are interested, posted earlier was the first chapter of "Remember", a fic based on Adam set between Magic and Mayhem at the Rift and Vampires, Demons and Torchwood, Oh my!
Click here to read chapter 1.
Thanks to skullgirl013 for betaing, as always :)
For cherry_soup888 cherry_soup888 who wanted something funny. Hope this is okay!
I know I said there wouldn't be another chapter today but ... meh. Blame lack of caffeine? Or too much? Whatever.
=)
Previous chapters: Ch.1 Ch. 2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10 Ch.11a Ch.11b Ch.12 Ch.13 Ch.14 Ch.15 Interlude #1 Ch.16a Ch.16b Ch.17a Ch.17b Ch.18a Ch.18b Ch.19a Ch.19b Ch.19c Ch.20a Ch.20b Ch.20c Ch.21a Ch.21b Ch.21c Ch.22a
Chapter 22b: Together.
Wednesday 24th August
19:19
“What the hell are you doing?” Ianto spluttered indignantly as Faith and Martha stood between him and Jack’s office.
“Stopping you from going in,” Faith explained, deadpan.
“Ooh, mental images,” Martha said.
Faith chuckled.
“Okay, beyond having images of me and Jack’s sexual activities in your brain, what the hell are you doing?”
“Told you,” Faith said. “Stopping you from going in. It was her idea.” She pointed at Martha.
Martha sent her a dirty look, but said nothing.
“Okay ... why?”
“Because it’s the night before your wedding,” Martha said.
“Say it a little louder why don't you? And it’s not my wedding, it’s my Civil Partnership, and I ask again why?” The last word was mostly snarled. It didn’t faze the two women one bit.
“Well, no matter what it is, we’re taking you out tonight.”
“Why?” Ianto asked, blankly.
“Because we want to talk to you.”
Beginning to feel like a broken record, Ianto said, “Why?”
“Stop asking why.”
“Why?” This time Ianto just wanted to annoy them.
Faith growled. “Because we want to talk to you.”
“You’ve said that already.”
Martha rolled her eyes and walked forward to be toe-to-toe with the annoyed Welshman. “We want to talk to you about Jack and this wed-Civil Partnership. And your intentions.”
Ianto spluttered, indignantly.
“Oh, and we wanted to tell you we made a huge mistake.”
“What.” The word wasn’t truly a question.
“We sort of ... Well, you know how you and Jack asked us to get your rings for you?” Ianto nodded. “We were in the jewellers when...”
“When what?”
“Libbycameinandsawtheringsjustasthejewellerreadouttheinscriptions,” Martha said in a rush. “Which were very pretty, by the way. Who would have thought Jack could be so eloquent?”
“Jack was eloquent? Don't tell me, he doesn’t want me to know what he wrote until tomorrow. And ...” He paused. “Wait one moment.”
Martha and Faith took one step backwards.
“Did you just say my sister knows?”
Martha nodded, silently.
“My sister; Libby, knows I’m getting ma...undergoing a Civil partnership?”
Faith nodded.
Ianto closed his eyes. “Tell me again why you’re blocking my way?”
“Because we promised to deliver you to her.”
“Deliver me to her? What am I, a parcel?”
“Okay, you grew up with her ... you know how menacing she can be. Vampires, demons and Torchwood? Sure I can face them down. Her? I’m just gonna do what she says,” Faith said.
Ianto sighed. “But why are you blocking my way?”
“She told us not to let you bring in reinforcements.”
“She...what?”
“She said if you brought Jack along you’d hide behind him and she wanted to be able to yell at you directly like she’s always done.”
Ianto sighed again. “There’s no getting out of this, is there?”
“Not unless you want us to tell Gwen. Then you’ll have to deal with her, Libby, Buffy and Tosh.”
“Please ... don’t ... tell ... Gwen ...” Ianto begged.
“Then come with us,” Martha said. “Because, frankly, I’m scared of what your sister will do to us if we don't bring you with us.”
“Let me just tell Jack I’m going out.” Martha opened her mouth to speak. “I won’t let him come with me. I’ll tell him I’m meeting Libby alone. Alright?” She nodded. “Thank you.” He moved between them and stepped into Jack’s office, walking over to the desk, leaning on it and bending down to kiss him softly. “I’m going out.”
“Oh? Where?”
“To meet my sister. I’ll be back soon.” He bent down to kiss Jack again, but avoided his lips, kissing by his ear. “If I’m not back in an hour,” he whispered, “call me in.”
When he pulled back, Jack was grinning. “Scared?” he whispered.
“Of my sister?” Ianto scoffed. “More like terrified.”
19:34
The restaurant Libby asked them to meet her in was the same one Ianto swore he saw Jack in a few years before with a blonde woman and a man in a leather jacket, even when he knew he was back at the hub. He’d been tracking his movements closely, back then; scared he’d go too far into the archives. Jack had tried to keep him in the hub a variety of different ways that day, but Ianto had been determined to go out; he’d needed a new part for Lisa’s adjusted conversion unit. Jack hadn’t been pleased, but had relented in the end.
Ianto had been very persuasive without touching Jack once, a skill he’d seemed to lose since.
He looked round at Martha and Faith, who were flanking him as though they thought he was about to run off, and then cast his eyes back towards the restaurant.
“Can’t you just tell her I’m dead?” he pleaded.
“Not even funny, Welsh boy,” Faith said.
“I’m older than you!” Ianto spluttered.
“Not according to my birth certificate.”
“Yes, actually. We bumped the years forward, remember?”
Faith glared darkly at him as Martha grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the restaurant from which Libby was emerging. She saw them and instantly ran at Ianto, flinging her arms around his neck.
Then she pulled back. “Why am I hugging you?” she demanded. He looked at her blankly. She hit him on the shoulder.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“Not telling me you’re getting married!” Libby retorted.
“I’m not getting married!” Ianto told her. “It’s a Civil Partnership.”
“Oh, for crying out loud, Yan, it’s the same fucking thing.” She held up her hand. “Don't you dare scold me for my language.”
Ianto mouthed wordlessly.
“I’m just hurt you didn’t tell me,” she said. “And as for you two!” she exclaimed as Martha and Faith tried to tiptoe away. “I’m angry you didn’t tell me as soon as you found out!”
“We were sworn to secrecy!” Martha said.
“We promised,” Faith said. “Jack would have kicked our asses.”
“I’m going to kick your asses in a minute!” Libby said. “I’m his sister, I had a right to know!”
Ianto sighed. “You’re right,” he admitted, reluctantly. “And I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.”
“Too right you fucking won’t!” Libby scolded. “First off, you won’t be doing that again because I won’t let you,” she said. “Secondly, you’re not getting married again. You’ve found someone great and I won’t let you give him up.”
Ianto nodded, solemnly. “I don't plan to.”
“Also, I want to come.”
“What?”
“To your wedding.” Ianto opened his mouth. “Civil partnership,” she corrected, “whatever.”
Ianto sighed. “It’s just going to be me and Jack signing some papers with Martha and Faith as witnesses.”
“I want to be there.”
“It’s going to be terribly boring.”
“I. Want. To. Be. There.” Her tone left no room for argument.
Defeated, Ianto relented. “Fine,” he said. “But” - he pointed at the restaurant - “I want dinner first.”
Libby smiled. “You got it.”
“You’re paying.”
She snorted. “In your dreams.”
Next: Chapter 22c