Fic: Seminar, Chapter 43 (CSI/CSI NY/CSI Miami, Ryan / Eric, Nick / Greg)
Title: Seminar, Chapter 43
Fandom: CSI / CSI NY, CSI Miami
Pairing: Warrick Brown / Don Flack,
Ryan Wolfe / Eric Delko,
Nick Stokes / Greg Sanders
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Banner by the lovely sexycazzy
CSI Las Vegas Main List
CSI Miami Main List
CSI New York Main List
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 (NC-17) Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Chapter 6 (NC-17) Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 (NC-17)
Chapter 12 Chapter 13 (NC-17) Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17
Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23
Interlude (NC-17) Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28
Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Interlude Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34
Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40
Chapter 41 (NC-17) Chapter 42
The Stokes Ranch, Texas
“Save me.” Greg attacked Nick and jumped into his lap. The surprise was too much and Nick fell down, narrowly missing the armchair and landed on the floor.
“G, what the hell are you doing?”
“Save me! They want to use me to complete their primitive sacrificial rituals.”
“Just go back outside, I’ll be there in a minute.”
“I’m not going back there. Your mom came after me with this big, sharp spear!”
“That’s a barbecue stick, you ram it through the meat and set it over the fire.”
“You didn’t see the look on her face, she was going to roast me!”
“Calm down and listen to me. Barbeque and line dancing is a tradition.”
“I can understand the meat eating part, I’m a guy remember? But that hopping and slapping….”
“It’s dancing, G. It’s an art form.”
“It’s like a savage ritual without the cultural content.”
“Since when do you care about the cultural content?”
“I have many interests and I’m not gonna suffer if I can’t brag about it later. I saw some native Americans doing a fertility dance couple years ago, but I could talk about that afterwards. That thing out there…. that’s just…. nasty. ”
“I thought you like dancing.”
“I can shake, rattle, jiggle and wiggle with the best of them, but that Redneck Rumba is not dancing.”
“G, would you just come outside again? You can just talk with people.”
“They’re all your relatives.”
“So what? My brothers think you’re weirdest thing since our neighbours teenage girl dyed her horse pink, and my sisters think you’re cute.”
“I know! You don’t mind that I’m being objectified by a bunch of women old enough to be my mom?”
“They’re not objectifying you, and they are not that old.”
“Some of them are. And didn’t you see how that pudgy one with a bad home-perm kept ogling me?”
“Are you calling my sister unattractive?”
“I’m just saying that bald math professor probably married her for her brain.” Greg peeked out of the window. “Are they gonna come after me with a lynchmob and torches?”
“Maybe.” Nick smirked. “Unless you try to compromise.”
“I already ate half a cow because I didn’t wanna say no when they came to shove more-”
“Come one, G. One dance with me and you’ll be yelling Yee-Haw .”
“Are we still talking about line dancing?”
“What else?”
“You made it sound so dirty that I got hopeful.”
-----------------------------------------
Eric’s apartment, Miami
“I’m not gonna answer that.” Ryan grunted. “No way.”
“Come on, this is fun!”
“You’re reading Girly Girls Weekly, that’s seriously creepy.”
“The mailman put it in my mailbox by accident. I can’t take it to my neighbour because she’s gone for the weekend.”
“So you decided to read a magazine that’s directed to women, who have no better things to do than polish their face with everything except a sandblaster and compare ways to catch a guy.”
“Yep. Maybe I should offer to write them an article…..”
“Article about what?” Ryan grinned. “How to do your make-up morgue-style?”
“No. How to catch a guy.”
“You didn’t catch me, I catched you.”
“I made the first move.”
“No, I made the first move.”
“Your first move was a fist in my eye.”
“You asked for it.”
“I still have no idea how we ended up making out on Alexx`s slab…..”
“I don’t know either.” Ryan agreed. “But we scared that new intern half to death.”
“So you’ll do the Do or Ditch -test with me?”
“You just waited for me to get sentimental so you could take advantage of it.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, do your test.”
“Let’s see…. Do you and your man share the same interests?”
“Yeah.”
“I thought so too. The job, sex, food, beach, diving-”
“I don’t like diving. Or the beach.”
“Yeah, but job and sex balances things.”
“Next question?”
“Is your sex like satisfying or do you wake up in the middle of the night fantasise about other men?”
“Yes.”
“Yes to what? There’s four boxes for that, you gotta answer yes or no to both of them.”
“That was just one question.”
“Just work with me here.”
“Yes and no.”
“Same here. Next question: Do you like to spice up things in the bedroom?”
“Define spicing up.” Ryan demanded. "Costumes, Toys, what?"
“I don’t know, that’s all there is. I’m a hot-blooded man, I should be spicy enough.”
“So just mark no.”
“Next: Is your sex life regular or do you need to give some extra coal for your man’s steam engine?”
“Coal?”
“That’s what it says.”
“Who talks about coal and steam engines when they’re talking about sex?”
“The people who wrote the test I guess. And our sex life is very regular: Every time we have a chance and we’re not too tired after work.”
“Sounds regular enough.”
“Does your man do his fair share of house work?”
“No, and that’s how I like it.” Ryan gave him a stern look. “You’re not doing any cleaning or cooking at my place or I’ll have to clean the whole apartment afterwards.”
“And believe me, I’m perfectly happy with that arrangement.” Eric grinned. “Next question: What do you tell your man when your lower dam gate is undergoing the monthly maintenance procedures?”
“I’m pretty sure that’s only for women.”
“Yeah…. Next one: Do you and your man colour-coordinate your clothes?”
“I’m not colour-coordinating my stuff to match flower patterns.”
“And I’m too much of a man to wear as much as you do.”
“You mean you’re not man enough to wear that much pink.”
“Whatever….”
“How many questions do you have left?”
“Just…. ninety-four.”
“And what is that test supposed to tell you?”
“What the name says: Do him or Ditch him.”
“We’re already doing the first part all the time.” Ryan commented. “Why do you need a test to tell you something I could have told you right away?”
“True.” Eric admitted. “But I was kinda waiting for question thirty-two.”
“What’s that?”
“Have you and your man ever done it in a public place?”
“So you want to brag.”
“Just a little bit.”
Interlude