Fic: Seminar, Chapter 40 (CSI/CSI NY/CSI Miami, Flack / Warrick, Ryan / Eric, Nick / Greg)
Title: Seminar, Chapter 40
Fandom: CSI / CSI NY, CSI Miami
Pairing: Warrick Brown / Don Flack,
Ryan Wolfe / Eric Delko,
Nick Stokes / Greg Sanders
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Banner by the lovely sexycazzy
CSI Las Vegas Main List
CSI Miami Main List
CSI New York Main List
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 (NC-17) Chapter 4 Chapter 5
Chapter 6 (NC-17) Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10
Chapter 11 (NC-17) Chapter 12 Chapter 13 (NC-17) Chapter 14 Chapter 15
Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21
Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Interlude (NC-17) Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26
Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Interlude Chapter 32
Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39
Break room
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Crime lab, Miami
“I got a riddle for you.” Eric started. “What do you get when you mix up a black SUV, convicted sex offender who got his throat slashed, and two senior citizens who decided to pack up their shotguns and move to Florida to spend their twilight years?”
“No idea.” Ryan folded his newspaper. “What’s the answer?”
“I don’t know.” Eric shrugged. “That’s why I asked.”
“So your case’s not going anywhere.”
“Yep. You know how creepy it is when an old schoolmarm from Midwest threatens you with detention?”
“I haven’t experienced that for a long time….”
“Believe me, it was scary. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“How’s your case?”
“Well…. How bout I give you a counter riddle? What do you get when you cross a schoolgirl who makes extra cash by stripping, a pimp called Peachy who loves to get down and dirty with soft fruits, a priest with a drinking problem and an albino cat called Milford the Third?”
“A Hammer horror film from the seventies?”
“Nope.” Ryan chuckled. “I gotta say, when it comes to crime, Miami is like the nation in a miniature.”
“You mean versatile.”
“No, I mean totally bizarre.”
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Nick’s apartment, Las Vegas
“Okay, the flight leaves at nine twenty-five, we got pretty much all day to rest.” Greg stated. “And if your folks are anything like their amount suggests, we’ll need all the rest we can get.”
“What does that mean?” Nick snapped the lock of his suitcase shut.
“If they have enough energy to breed like minks, they can get dangerous when an outside influence affects the eco-systems.”
“Did you just call my relatives minks?”
“The only difference is that they don’t live in cages and they don’t need to be skinned.”
“Just because my parent have seven kids-”
“And how many nieces and nephews do you have?”
“Okay, maybe you’re not that far away….”
“And didn’t you tell me one of your nieces just got knocked up at the mature age of sixteen?”
“You’re the only child, you don’t know what it’s like to deal with siblings.”
“But I do know how to deal with you. Maybe it’s that whole opposites attract -thingy.” Greg was quiet for a minute in deep thoughts. “But the thing with Warrick and Don is more like similarities attract….”
“Greg, they don’t have anything in common.”
“They do.” A wide grin spread on Greg’s face. “They both have big feet. You know what that means: Big feet, big….”
“Greg.”
“….shoe size.”
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Warrick`s apartment, Las Vegas
“I hate these cases.” Warrick groaned when he and Don finally returned to his apartment. “Why can’t we just lock people up for stupidity?”
“Because that would be too delicious for the defence attorneys and shrinks. You don’t really wanna rake up more money for them?”
“No.”
“Besides, it was an understandable mistake. The hooker didn’t tell him that a second helping is not included in the basic price.”
“And then he suffocated her with her own crotchless panties. Can’t wait to testify about that in a court hearing….” Warrick left his kit on the floor and wandered over to the kitchen. “Do we have anything to eat?”
“Yeah, I went shopping after I dropped you off last night.” Don approached him from behind and wrapped his arms around Warrick`s waist. “Are you really hungry?”
“Not really.”
“Good, because I was thinking….”
“That’s usually a bad sign….”
“We could celebrate my relocation and do something different. Something we haven’t done before….”
“What? No sex?”
“Not that different. I was planning to offer you a turn on the drivers seat.”
Warrick froze for a minute.
“Thanks, but no thanks. I tried that couple and that was just…. total fiasco.”
“How bad can it be?”
“Really bad. I was embarrassed, he got insulted when I didn’t wanna a try again, and his inflatable doll blew up and flew across the room.”
“Inflatable doll?”
“We were in his dorm room and his roommate had stashed it into the closet.”
“Then how did it blow up?”
“None of your business.”
“Come on….” Don’s hands slid down Warrick`s belly and down to grasp the bulge in his jeans. He leaned closer to whisper in his ear. “Just be a man about it.”
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Crime lab, Miami
“That’s it, I’m done.” Ryan let out a deep sigh and closed the lid of his laptop.
“You closed your case?”
“Yeah.”
“So who did it?" Eric swiled around in his chair to face Ryan. "The stripper or the priest?”
“Neither one of them. The part-time stripper thought she had killed him because she had whacked him on the head with her stiletto heel, which by the way sank in about two inches.”
“That didn’t kill him?”
“No, he was already unconscious and halfway dead when she came in. Then the priest came to make customer complaint about the hooker he had hired, he was too drunk to realise the guy was unconscious and he thought he was just ignoring him.”
“And?”
“And he tried to strangle him with a feather boa.”
“A drunken priest with a feather boa?”
“It was in the room and he just grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on. And that didn’t kill dearly departed Peachy.”
“So what did?”
“Allergic reaction.” Ryan smirked. “He was humping an overripe mango.”
“I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that….”
“He forgot he was allergic and he picked it up from the fruit bowl.”
“Tell me he at least came before he died.”
“Judging by the stains in the room, he did.”
“What about the cat?”
“She had nothing to do with it. After the stripper and the priest had left she just came in looking for food and….” Ryan blushed and tried to control the urge to giggle. “….and started gnawing on the exposed parts of his anatomy.”
“You mean….”
“Yeah. Alexx even took some pictures for that shrine of horrors she shows to the new people at the morgue.”
Chapter 41 (NC-17)