5.16 Dark Side of the Moon, Part 1/3
Episode reviews by tahirire and blacklid :
501 | 502 | 503 | 504 | 505 | 506 | 507 | 508 | 509 | 510 | 511 | 512 | 513 | 514 | 515
THE ROAD SO FAR...
The Far Side of Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things... Zombieland... Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
NOW...
Screencaps by the awesome toxic_caps.
00.
Total Count of Certain Death: 111
Dean, 107 times: 1, almost electrocuted (112), 2, almost ripped out heart and crushed by a semi (122) ...
3, shot, 4, run over, 5, crushed, 6, choked on a sausage, 7, slipped in the shower, 8, poisoned, 9, electrocuted, 10, axed, 11, shot, 12, mauled by a dog, 13, shot, plus 89 other ways to make 100 in that town (312),
103, shredded by hell hounds (316) ...
104, almost cardiac arrest (406), 105, almost strangled (416), 106, almost of stomach cancer (501), 107, almost cardiac arrest again (507) and ...
Sam, 4 times: stabbed (221), electrocuted (408), strangled (501), Papazianed stabbed (513) and ...
What any of that has to do with the Heat of the Moment, I'm not sure. /sarcasm
*deep clown voice*
Hello, Winchesters. I want to play a game.
You must pass three Gates in order to the speak to the great Customer Service Representative in the sky.
First Gate: Face The Riddle of Your Fear.
Second Gate: Face The Mirror of Your Past.
Third Gate: Face The Nothing of the Keyhole Door That Needs No Key.
Whoever makes it through all three gates will live.
Those who do not will die lots and lots of times from angst forever until the end, amen. Good Luck.
01.
If I was Dean and it was cold and dark with no answer from God,
and if I was Sam and I had just got out of my second trip to the panic room,
I would be playing 99 Bottles of Beer on the wall, too. Sooooo wasted.
I spent a day by the river
It was quiet and the wind stood still
I spent some time with nature
To remind me of all that's real
It's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're alone
And remember that you feel
'Cause if the face inside can't see the light
I know I'll have to walk alone
And if I walk alone to the other side
I know I might not make it home
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
02.
This reminded me of when Ellen snuck up behind Dean and I half hoped that this
wasn't what it was starting to feel like and it was actually Rufus dropping in to talk to
Sam and Dean's angel buddy. I bet he's never met one.
03.
Oh, crap. Who are those masked men?
Wait, let me guess. They're servants from God, Gordon and Co. 2.0, sent to execute the man who started the Apocalypse.
Dear Chuckleheads,
Guess what? You've GOT THE WRONG MAN.
P.S. Being faceless means that you know that you're committing a crime, no matter how much you might think your action is justified. There's a God around here for that vengeance stuff. Somewhere... *looks under the couch cushions*
-Lid, who thinks you are actually more like dicks
04.
Sam looks at Dean like he's drawn a complete blank about what Dean is going to do...
he doesn't know what to expect out of Dean in situations like this anymore and it makes me of the sad.
:(
Sam would try to reason with them and stick to the subject at hand,
taking the blame as long as it's the quickest way to a compromise. Oh, Sam.
But Dean always seems to go for the bigger picture: trying to reestablish a rapport upon which to hang his argument,
as if what he believes won't pass muster on its own merit. Oh, Dean.
05.
They never say if Roy and Walt are brothers or if their last name is Disney, but one thing is certain:
if the situation were reversed, once upon a time, Sam would have had the same reservations
and when he voiced them, Dean would have at least backed down and heard everyone out
before he plugged them in the chest (209).
As it is now, nobody is really listening and those who actually know what's going on are not allowed to speak.
*wants to stand up and take the bullet, but cannot choose which one to stand in front of...sob*
06.
Not only does Dean have to watch his brother die, he has to live with:
1) knowing that there is no peace in it because they will just be brought back in some sick, inhumane Frankenstein game,
2) wondering if he should have hurried up with an explanation instead of jawing passive aggression - if taking a different approach would have saved them, and
3) realizing that one of the few times he has actually slept lately was all that it took for them to get jumped; when he gets back, he's so never sleeping again.
Possibly not in that order and most likely not that laid out. It probably sounded more like this in his head:
'OMGWHY.'
07.
*rewinds it and watches it a bunch of times to see if that makes it any easier*
Huh.
Nope.
*deep clown voice*
You have reached the first gate, answered the riddle by facing your fear.
Congratulations, you are dead. Please proceed.
*static*
WALT DISNEY KILLED SAM AND DEAN OMG.
I do like all the angles I got to see of it, though. *rubs her eyes* How many was it? Three?
*chalks up Sam and Dean's get deaded numbers #5 and #108* ... *sigh*
*steals from tahirire's post*
"And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them." Revelation 9:6
Crap. I have a feeling this is going to start happening a lot... death fleeing from them, I mean.
"You're the Michael Sword." ... "It takes two, you know." ... "Sam, you're my true vessel." ... "Dean would kill me if we did that. We're not just going to give up on--" ... "An amulet? What kind?" ... "Getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery."
08.
The episode title popped up and I got all verklempt and then I saw this face... in his car... doing this.
It reminded me of a story I wrote about Dean more than 2 years ago....and I started crying. *revels*
I also love this song. It's a bluesy Winchester song. Y'all should have it. *hands you it*
Glenn Kaiser Band, "Blacktop"
Download the Song [Mediafire M4A]
Got my keys, head out the door
Could not take it anymore
All the fussin', cryin' and moanin'
Leaving misery, this ain't no home
Window pane on the road
Heading south, carrying a load
Diggin' memphis, diggin' blues
Sometimes a man just got to choose
Blacktop rolls on southward
Snow-white cotton in the fields
Sometimes daylight comes too late
Sometimes it's hard to deal
I passed a truckstop, I passed a church
I pulled over, soul needed work
Facing problems inside of me
Only truth can set you free
Blacktop rolls on southward
Snow-white cotton in the fields
Sometimes daylight comes too late
Sometimes it's hard to deal
I turned around and I asked for help
Took directions off the shelf
In a Book I thought I'd learned
Sometimes wisdom follows getting burned
Blacktop rolls on southward
Snow-white cotton in the fields
Sometimes man got to get on his knees
Before he'll ever heal
Blacktop rolls on southward
Snow-white cotton in the fields
Sometimes man got to get on his knees
Before he knows what's real
09.
Mama put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That cold black cloud is comin' down--
Dean is awoken in his chariot car, by THUNDER (Zeus)... even though it NEVER RAINS. HUH.
Wearing his dad's jacket.
He is startled that he's in the driver's seat and had fallen asleep sitting up. Dean never falls asleep at the wheel except metaphorically because he is an excellent driver.
It's so ICY outside that his breath FREEZES.
When he gets out, he holds his chest because it's the last thing he remembers, but he feels fine.
Aw, Dean!
You aren't in Hell! You know how I know?
Because I'm hearing GUNS & ROSES "Knocking On Heaven's Door"
... which was also used in LETHAL WEAPON 2. /random... or is it
Gee, the last time Show used that song was in... Houses of the Holy (213).
You know, it's not the same song as Route 666 (113), but it made me think of it, maybe because the lyrics to it are oh so relevant to events in this episode.
Come down on your own and leave your body at home
Somebody must change
You are the reason I've been waiting all these years
Somebody holds the key
Yep, SOMEBODY does.
hehehehe
(UPDATE: Kind seesmooshrun and izhilzha pointed out the two songs for me.
No one can fire me for these - I'm not getting paid! So if I'm wrong, PLEASE don't hesitate to tell me. I scramble eggs. It happens! These things take days and I get lazy not checking stuff that I am so sure about. Don't let Texas mess with yer brainz.)
10.
The trunk closes and it's little Sammy with his fireworks.
This must be what Dean wants most if he's in Not!Hell, right? Where are we exactly?
*deep clown voice*
You have reached the Second Gate. Face the Mirror of your Past.
*static*
11.
Sam is still just a puppy!
He has his hoodie on (when they wear hoodies, it's like radar for perceived character weakness)
and he needs help with his pyrotechnics because he won't know how to spontaneously light his arm on fire for another 16 years.
12.
THERE ARE NO WORDS. THERE JUST AREN'T.
You know I always say that and then I go on and on right? You aren't getting awaaaay. MUAHHAHAHA.
The very first thing that Dean says is, "Weird dream."
As in, seeing this Sam, a Sam who is including him in an activity and wants his help,
was out of the ordinary for them.
I mean, in After School Special (413), every time that Dean hovered or wanted to help, Sam reacted with STOP IT DEAN, I CAN HANDLE IT MYSELF.
Which is 1) hooray for Dean, for making Sam so self-sufficient and
2) wipes away a tear for the empty nest feeling that it would perpetuate.
Sam flew the nest in a puppy sense not long after this. He grew up so fast. And it was Dean's fault. Or rather, Dean blames himself for ruining it...
by telling him everything that he did and by not protecting him enough.
Dean had to know things in order to protect Sam.
When Dean complained in Misery Of Heaven (506... what a prophetic name for an episode, eh?) about
John and told Sam that he wished that they had been lied to,
what he was really saying was that he wishes that he had lied to Sam.
...
So, hearing Sam agree, rather than making it better, makes Dean's guilt worse.
...
Round and round the Winchesters go.
Every time they try to help each other, it ends up hurting.
I get the sense that this was the last time something this carefree and brotherly happened between them...
and Dean misses it so very much that he doesn't allow himself to think about it ... like, ever.
DEAR DEAN,
YOU GET A COOKIE. HERE IT IS.
*Sammy Hugs*
-Lid, who just asplode from all the love love
(1)13.
Dean remembers. It's a happy memory.
*cries happy*
And then...
keeping in mind that Dean wishes he'd let Sam be innocent like this for just a little while longer...
and keeping in mind that he has always felt guilty for not doing what Dad wanted him to do, which was lie,
and keeping in mind that Dean thinks he sold his integrity and loyalty to his dad and Sam long ago in that regard...
Sam says this:
"Dad would never let us do anything like this. Thanks, Dean. This is great."
...
And Dean. Can't. Won't tell him why that stings. He can't face it.
He just ... holds on to the happy part .... a little while longer.
Mama take this badge amulet from me
I can't use it anym--
14.
Because look what ultimately happened.
The last time this happened, THEY BURNT DOWN THE FIELD. WITH FIRE.
Because he did something his Father wouldn't have wanted him to do and took the truth too far.
Sam didn't even want the truth so much as he wanted an education. Dean went to save him
from the truth about himself (because Dean DIDN'T tell him that time) and they still burnt things down
and he still lost him.
If I was Dean, I would feel damned either way, too. So, what's to lose by selling your soul, right?
Sold it like a whore to the highest bidder for his heart Sam. Just like his Father.
HUH.
He said don't worry about a thing baby doll I'm the man you've been dreamin' of
But three months later he said he won't date her or return her calls
And she swears god damn if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls
And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walkin' through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
15.
At least, that's what it means to Dean. It's too tempting to take it all too far.
He always loses Sam that way.
If only he had listened to the authority figures, Sam wouldn't lose himself, too...
*cries sad*
*shakes head at the awesome double entendre in this scene*
Dear Dean,
Wrong lesson. "Too far" does not mean what you think it means.
-Static
16.
*deep clown voice*
You have failed the Second Gate and have not faced the Mirror of your Past.
Please proceed to the Second Gate.
*static*
17.
Castiel: "Dean. Im in ur radio pwning ur urfs."
I love how the Impala is like Dean's conscience, practically, embodying those he loves when he needs a good shaking.
18.
This is never going to catch on, but I want to rename it Falkor the KITT Metallicar.
Dean rides the dragon, okay.
YES, I AM A DORK. I DO NOT NEED THE VENN DIAGRAM.
19.
So, if Dean isn't dreaming and he isn't in Hell but he's dead... he still has to ask where he is...
because there is no way that he would ever make it to Heaven.
Oh, Dean, yer FACE. ... Yes, honey. Heaven.
Let me draw you a venn diagram. No wait. Let me sing you a song.
I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
Smoked the finest green
I stroked the baddest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends
Yo, it usually depends on where you start
And I love that the first thing he thinks of is that if HE is in HEAVEN, then WHERE is Sam?
Like, they have been trading and bartering for each other's souls for their entire lives.
And I hate that his very first thought is the worst case scenario: that if Sam isn't with him (= his Heaven)
then that must mean that Sam is in Hell... but he can't say it, so he phrases it in the form of a question.
Dear Dean,
ICWYDT. *hugs you*
-Lid
20.
Cas asks what he sees and Dean says NOTHING...
because this is what he always sees.
...
Dear Dean,
You can't jump straight to the third gate. It doesn't work that way. You have to RE-SEE it.
There is no escaping this until you do.
-Lid
Cas tells Dean to follow the road, that it leads to Sam.
Cas knows what they are to each other and that it will always lead to the other, even if they take off in opposite directions...
ESPECIALLY if they take off in opposite directions...BECAUSE IT'S A CIRCLE.
See?
I think I could hug Cas right now for knowing that. He is SMRT.
*HUGS CAS*
Dean's been riding the dragon on the axis mundi his whole life. He knows how to find Sam: keep driving.
Want to see another artist's depiction of the Axis Mundi?
and
Well, that rung MY bell.
21.
When Dean pulls up to this house, it's the only thing around and he doesn't look all that happy to see it.
HUH.
*deep clown voice*
You have reached the Second Gate. Face the Mirror of your Past and defeat your self-image.
*static*
22.
Let me brain switch here and do Sam for a min--NOT LIKE THAT. Yeesh.
Sam is eleven years old.
He tied his own tie.
He paid for the cab ride to their house.
At ELEVEN.
He doesn't care about the girl crushing on him so much as he wants to be part of a family.
He didn't tell Dean... because Dean hovers... and criticizes it.
23.
Which is preCISEly what Dean is doing right now.
Not because it's threatening NOW, but because it was threatening THEN.
24.
Sam asks what Dean is doing in a dream that is clearly a memory of his for which Dean was not present,
the Past Dean who was not present in the past shows up in the future for a present version of the past for Present Sam.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
They keep talking at the table like it's a recording.
Dreams aren't like that, so Sam takes that as the prompt to ask Dean what the heck is going on, here.
And Dean tells him that he's in Heaven, and...
oh Sam, YER FACE.
Because Sam is confused. If he's in Heaven, how did he get there?
Dean, obviously, should be there... OBVIOUSLY. *shifty eyes*
But Sam has not fathomed before that you don't collect points for Heaven like lottery tickets or gold stars on your report card.
If a murderer walks an old lady across the street.... wait... so, a horse walks into a bar...
Dear Sam,
We have all DONE a few things. You are a good person. That counts for something.
... THERE IT IS. Now, he's got it.
-Lid
Dean half-heartedly makes his tired, unfunny joke about where are 72 virgins and the kink shops since they are clearly martyrs
and Sam sees right through it: that's what Dean always says when he's faced with a reward he didn't earn...
He wants to go back to the people he feels on the level with.
You people call them whores and think of it in a bad way. Stop projecting, srsly. That's right, I said you people.
... because admitting that he just wants Sam to share a beer and a property line with him in Heaven is just... uncool.
Honesty fail.
Sam wants traditional. Not the no-tell motel traditional. The kind he'd get glimpses of when John would disappear to hunt.
The kind where he felt safe because he wasn't reminded of the danger all the time, and having an education
meant an 8 to 5 and a property line you could share with your brother... if only he'd come with you.
Honesty pass.
25.
Dear Sam,
MAKE ME SHUT UP. OH MY DOG.
-Lid
26.
Dean says he woke up in the spot where they burned down that field and Sam goes,
heeeey maybe Heaven is where you re-live your greatest hits and I was like,
Wooow. just.... wow.
Dear You People,
SEE?! Sam thinks of it as a greatest hit, too.
I bet that means he wishes that he'd been there instead of here.
So there. ;P
-Lid
27.
And then the movin' and shakin' starts. Dean's instinct is to hide and he's always had good instincts.
*deep clown voice*
Congratulations. One of you has passed the Second Gate. However, you are a package deal.
Please proceed to the Second Gate. Face the Mirror of your Past and defeat your self-image.
*static*
28.
If the Cas Channel was a music video, it would look like this.
Click to viewping, pong, ping, pong, ping, pong, ping, pong, ping, pong, ping, pong, yer fone iz a fewd, nabnafone...
29.
Cas: "DOAN GO INTO TEH LITE, N00BZ. FOLLOW TEH YELLOW RAOD INSTED.
FIND TEH ANGELZ WHUT IS NAME JOSHUA, LOL. HE BE TRIPPY AN TALK TO GOD AN STUFFS."
Dean: "NO WAI. I CAN HAZ TOO MANY ALREADY.... *shakes head*
kinda assful of angels, okay. OH HAI, NOT MAI PROBLEM."
Lid: Whore.
Sam: *waits for Dean to say something*
Dean: "LETZ GOES."
Sam: "FER REALZ?! *bounce*"
Dean: "WAT IS YER MALFUNCTION? WE NEEDZ TEH GOD, N00B."
Sam: "Uhhhhh...I knows?"
Dean: "THE LAST HOPE OF A DESPERATE MAN."
Sam: "*sadface*"
Lid: "Hopes does not haz numbers, Dean...*shmack*"
*deep clown voice*
Congratulations. One of you has passed the Second Gate. However, you are a package deal.
Please proceed to the Second Gate.
*static*
30.
Somebody moved the road.
31.
Somebody ELSE put the road somewhere only THEY would find it. It's not Cas...
HUH.
32.
Dear Dean,
You are looking for God because WHY again?
You forgot about the plane thing, too, meebee?
-Lid, who is gonna need to hire the Three Stooges or buy stock in flyswatters or something
33.
*deep clown voice*
Welcome to the Second Gate. Face the Mirror of your Past and defeat your self-image.
*static*
I used to have one of those Hot Wheels tracks. You put the car on the electric strip that's magnetized
and you use the gun to send a current through the track that makes the car go.
This one is in an infinity loop. That feels relevant considering how we're stuck in the second gate.
34.
Yes, Sam, very very very small things can be the Road. Or a Gate. Or a Keyhole.
Because really...what's smaller than Nothing?
35.
I WUV HUGZ TOO! *snuggles him*
36.
I have decided that because the boys are driving this time, their clothes change to something
that they would have actually been wearing, just like in the first sequence.
Except Sam would be wandering around in a diaper if we were being super literal, so you know,
there's room for their preferences... which means that Dean doesn't really mind his shirt.
Awwww.
*HUGZ HIM MOAR*
37.
And his face... that's the first time I've ever seen Dean's face look hopeful and happy when he says the words,
We're HOME.
*dies* *a lot*
I want them to be able to stay, dammit! And have it be real! And WUV HUGZ!
All of a sudden, he looks about five years old and his face does this little thing where
you can feel him hesitating giving into the experience and he just. can't. help. it.
PART 2 > | PART 3 >
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