5.06 The Children Are Our Future, part 1/2
Episode reviews by tahirire and blacklid: 501 | 502 | 503 | 504 | 505
THE ROAD SO FAR
The Far Side of Fallen Idols
NOW...
OMG WHY. ARE YOU SITTING. THAT CLOSE TO THE TV DON'T YOU KNOW YOU CAN GO BLIND FROM DOING THAT. OH DEAR GOD, SHE'S REACHING FOR HER HAIRBRUSH... you know, that... teenage girls and their hairbrushes is a state secret, right? You DID know this, Show, don't tell me you didn't realize... *facepalms away from all the double meanings in this shot*
Blame Tahiri. She made me put this in here. The only Veggie Tales song I know is "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (They Just Stay At Home and Lie Around)".
There's no going back with the hairbrush, Show, I think this episode has lost its innocence already, somehow. *taps mouth with finger*
EVIL BABYSITTERS who enforce rules and make you go to bed with ketchup on your face... PSH, they should DIE. RightKripkeJimmy?
And she hears things that don't make any sense and so she goes to the couch... with her hairbrush... for her peach.
Tahiri: Her peach? What happened to her cherry?
Blacklid: You're just wrong. No comment.
Because you know... you remember how VCRs would get to the end of the tape and then rewind automagically and the TV would sit there comfortably hissing at you while you are trying to find the knob in the dark to change it back to regular TV? Except for how it was your girlfriend and not the TV and you dialed it too far and it was bad?
Tahiri: Totally. You can dial those things too far, you know.
Blacklid: So... she accidentallied her hairbrush?
OBAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Dear Sam,
Did you know that if you lie on your side to brush your hair, those badges almost spell "FIB"?
-Lid, who is just trying to be helpful
P.S.
I'm really glad you're still using Plant and Page since forever ago during Bedtime Stories. Remember how I bitched about it back then? Because seriously, Dean would insist on being Page and we all know he makes the IDs. Who do I hug for getting it right this time?
Is it just me? Does this ring a bell? All the bottle bombs in Croatoan? How about the preservation qualities of formaldehyde (oh hai, notreally!immortality)? Or is it just that the children are our future and that all the children on this show are usually creepy and almost always bad news bears like in Bedtime Stories (which btw, I'm starting to feel stalked by that episode in here, aren't you)?
... What Kool-Aid? *sips coffee daintily*
The Brothers Grimm CANNOT BLEEVE THIS GUY. How... INSENSITIVE. She's DEAD, you know. You'd want some sympathy if you were dead, we're here to tell ya. You can't have the sehexy once you've been deaded. Unless you're Sam, or Dean, or Ruby... yeah, nevermind.
Dear FapdomFandom,
Even here, Sam is wearing Red and Dean is wearing Blue. I mean, what IS that?
Then again, we could just quit calling it the Dean Sam Show and start calling it Red vs Blue (CLICK PLAY, I DARE YOU and yes there's language, but I already dared you)...
... Then again, I think this guy might consider it a breach of intellectual property rights. But then again, it's Canadia and Halo haxxors we're talking about and I'm not entirely sure they'd notice and ... where was I going with that? I forget.
Yeah, I know. I'm just like this sometimes.
- CabooseFaplid
Dear Dean,
All those years of torture in Hell and yet here you are grimacing at a poor dead girl's hamburgered skull. (nice job on the hamburger, Show!) Dean, I think I love you. It just seems that much more wrong when they do it to themselves, doesn't it, Sam?
-Lid, who really wasn't going for the innuendo there and yet, there it is anyway
Didn't you hear? OCD KILLS WITH PHANTOM ITCH. ...
*mocks the pain* We are I am YOU ARE so screwed.
*scratches...*
*a lot*
They. Are sitting. On the couch. Where SHE DIED. Ew... I would have gotten rid of it lickety split.... did I just use that phrase? I totally didn't mean to. It just... I was having a moment.
All I could think was how much this kid is SOOOO wrong to think that no one would see that he's lying. You're talking to an ADULT, kid. We INVENTED lying.
Good God, y'all, I was already breakin' out the after-party cigarettes. BUT THEN. His shirt says TAKE IT OUT & PLAY WITH IT. That's like... a MANTRA worthy of repetition, right there, isn't it. How many references can we ram into an episode without actually USING THE WORD?
Dear Show,
Enough. I really hope you were going somewhere with all this fappery. I thought this was an epsiode about the Antichrist. Hmph.
-Lid, who done went blind a while back there a ways
Jimmy: "If I knew, I would tell you. I swear."
See, kid, Dean, he knows when you're full of it. He knows that line. His father invented it; his brother perfected it. Also, he never uses it himself ... because Dean would never lie. *whistles*
I sense some prepubescent guilt and angst in this episode... and a bit of empathy and stealthy manipulation (that stems from a deep understanding) coming from Dean. Oh Show, how could you? STOP TEASING US AND TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO DEAN WHEN HE WAS A KID, ALREADY, TO MAKE HIM SO WARY OF WOMEN WANTING TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND SAM ... oh wait. *goes to read John's Journal again*. OH, SHOW, I LARV YOU.
*sings* No more classrooms, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks...
Oh wait, I'm sorry. Some of you haven't read John's Journal and won't know what the hell I'm on aboot.
Here's the quartermile in 9-seconds version: Tucker John dated this chick when they were kids, right, only she was Sam's science teacher and Dean didn't like her - not one little bit, but he wasn't sure why, it was 'just a feeling' - and John started dating her anyway and then leaving them with her while he went on the road and things got a little interesting one night when she had to die... because she was actually a demon out for Sam all along.
The long and short of that - combined with what we know about Adam now - explains why John kept his trysts with Adam's mother a secret from both boys... and now I'm thinking that John was keeping it a secret especially from Dean out of guilt, considering how things went the last time with the Teacher from Hell.
Because think about it: nobody wants to be told by their kids that their hope for a normal life for themselves and their children is about to come crashing down - ever, not even once and especially not more than once. You'd rather lie... to keep the hope alive just a little bit longer.
But I'm not sure how that's relevant... *whistles some more*
ELECTROCUTED. Gee, that doesn't sound familiar. At all. Our boys have NEVER EVER EVER been electrocuted. And needed new hearts. Or been blown outta their shoes. Or anything. *shifty eyes*
Also, that poster back there says Now You See It, Now You Don't ... LAWL, JOYBUZZER joke, you are SNEAKY... and then I couldn't read the rest because I couldn't see it -- dammit, Sam.
Senile Old Man: "I DIDN'T KNOW. All's I did was shake his hand."
I think I get it. This guy is old and sits around all day feeling... well, old. Clearly, he needed some laughter in his life. Hospitals and residences and nursing homes are no fun. Just visiting someone there is no joy ride. No, it's not like an apartment. ... I can't blame this guy at all.
Also, the electrician must have needed someone to light up his life, too. Who doesn't need some cheering up on pain of death sometimes? Hey, that reminds me of... *John Cleese voice* "We sentence you to hang by the neck until you cheer up. AHAHAHAHAHA"...
*John Cleese voice* Once upon a time, Sam and Dean cooked Thanksgiving dinner in thirty nanoseconds and they both decided to go for a walk while it cooled enough for them to eat. On their walk, they decided to see if x-ray vision is really all that it's cracked up to be. Dean tried his goggles and saw a Red Sox game in Boston an entire week in the future and went home to place a sizable bet on the winning team. He was rather excited.
Sam, on the other hand, tried his goggles and saw Dean's hair in the sink at the microbial level, broke out with hives, and decided that this information wasn't really anything worth mentioning. As he scratched, he was utterly unaware of the feverishly humorous situational symmetry from precisely one year earlier. /*John Cleese voice*
DAH-AM-BURR-GUER
Dear Show,
It's kinda creeping me out how there are American flags in their room... and none of them are accurate - they're all skewed and misshapen and subject to the artists' interpretations and did I mention that it's creepy?
-Lid
DAH-AM-BURR-GUER tastes like:
a) tofu-burger
b) electrocuted rubber chickens
c) turkey
d) Dean's socks
e) cheese curds
*hands Dean a bukkit*
"AAAARRRR, MATEY, I'm a BUTT PIRATE."
Dear Dean,
How do you look eight years old here? What is it that's wiped the years from your face and given you that special glow?
...
Oh. Oh, yes. I nearly forgot how natural gas is also an organic astringent.
P.S.
I would have paid money to see Sam in the rainbow wig, but since you're there and now you owe me one, can you conjure me up a joy buzzer instead? Thanks.
-Lid, who has lost all sense of propriety
P.P.S. I MEAN ONE THAT WON'T TURN ME INTO A HAMBURGER.
JEEZ....
I dunno. I'm calling this look a close runner-up for the role of Fan Chagrin Cap. What do you guys think? Should we replace Becky?
TOO BAD. Becky stays.
Dear Show,
I am conundrummed. There are no creepy, evil children in this episode. They are all sweet and innocent and naive and stuff. Why? It's freaking me out.
-Lid, who is freaked out
Dear Dad Dude,
You just told your kid, who obviously loves fairies, that a fairy is going to visit her and leave cash money under her pillow for a piece of bone that just fell out of her head. Wait, I mean, a fairy is going to come down and reward her for transitioning smoothly through this right of passage into tweendom and you'll henceforth not want to know anything about what she keeps under her pillow. Wait, I mean, a fairy is going to enter her room while she's sleeping and fiddle around under the covers and... DUDE, THIS IS NOT GETTING ANY BETTER.
Sometimes these lies you tell -- they're actually more uncomfortable than the truth. Who's the 'fraidy cat' here?
-Lid, who also preferred not to believe in fairies and probably killed Peter Pan.... murderer
Yes, little girl, a freak. And he's INVITED.
If I even thought that someone showed up in my room in the middle of the night, I'd sleep in my parents' room on the floor for a week and refuse to go in there, even to get dressed. Ahem. *brushes lint off shoulder*
Good idea, little girl.
P.S. Why are you the normal one here, and not creepy?
Carol: We were gonna make a whole world like this. Now, everyone used to come here, but you know... you know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart. And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore.
Max: Yeah.
Carol: Well it was like that.
Carol: It's going to be a place where only the things you want to happen, would happen.
Max: We could totally build a place like that!
--Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
Dear Tooth Fairy,
I would like to keep my teeth... and my lower jaw... and you know, mostly all of me together in one place. Especially now that I'm, you know, a grown-up and I know the difference between being naive and living in a dream world. I can totally handle it. Thanks anyway.
-Lid, who wants to keep her lid and stop having nightmares about this freaking episode
A new form of the Sammeh!BitchFace? I kinda like it.
Dear Dean,
He doesn't believe you. He's not naive like that. He just likes his dream world, okay, jeez.
-Lid
P.S. Because I'm a dork, I Googled Jen Fremont (no, not like that) and I found out that there's a Jen Fremont who writes a Foodie Blog. So, when you're in New York... /random
Hey Sam,
You know that saying about how "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is"? /*WyomingYellow-Eyed Demon Voice*
You know how you're always figuring out all these horrible travesties that are buried in fairy tales? You know how that wouldn't be possible if you hadn't spent your childhood looking for the dark or irrational side in all these stories? You know how I'm starting to think you did that because of what happened when your dad started disappearing more and more often and Dean got too tired to keep up appearances anymore? You know how I'm wondering if that quote was something you lived by afterward - if it was the mark of you losing your innocence all those years ago - and Azazel threw it in your face - now you're seeing the same thing happening with all these other kids and you wanna protect them from what you went through? You know how sad that makes me?
So, you know how confused I was that it was Dean who figured this out? Until I realized that his story is really pretty much the same as yours, except for how the fairy tales he believed were the lies that John told him about things to keep him in line and by default you? You know how sad that makes me?
...You know how high on caffeine Dean and I are right now?
Very.
-Lid
*catwise*
I bet Dean has his napkin in his lap, too. Uh huh.
So, Dean is so nuanced that it seemed downright odd that he wouldn't be using both hands (but not like that)?
There must be a Splain, Lucy.
(Then I saw in the VanCon pics that Jensendude was having to hide that he smashed his finger and the nail is all purple. Ouch. Roger, roger. Makes sense now, but this wasn't really the reason in the episode, either. /retarded minutae)
This room decor is sooooo eighties.
WAIT - I KNOW THIS GAME. And you draw a star and in the middle is a devil's trap and you OPEN THE GATES AND HELL IS INSIDE. Right? Right?
Right? Er... *stares* Huh?
Oh. That's why.
Dear Show,
I thought we were done with all these references to, you know, THAT. I mean, COME. ON. I mean. *sigh*
Show, this is the one thing that parents just don't talk to their kids about. Heck, parents can barely admit that kids find out how their plumbing works loooong before they have the gumption to sit down and talk about it. It's this... elephant in the room. It's like they're too young to know about something they already know about. You know. They're not stupid. There has to be a way to get over this thing about knowing things without making you feel like they've lost all their innocence or something. Maybe we need to redefine innocence as guilt-free and not someone who's left to be overly naive-- Hey! Give me back my soap box! *chases*
Sam is wishing for his innocence back right now... hehehe.
*whispers* Use his razor, Dean. I won't even tell. *lies*
P.S. Why is Sam doing all the research again while you're sitting around, fisting your ham?
-Lid, who thinks Sam needs a raise... yes, like that... while you go out and play FIB by yourself. Seems fair.
OH! LOOK! There -- in the corner. It's the mail truck.
It didn't stop at the house... because it saw the Impala and Sam and Dean!
They pwned demons and didn't even know it!
Should we tell them? ... *watches Sam serenely caress the Iron Horse*
nah....
Icon? Anyone?
Haven't they made a sheath for this yet? If they thought it was a Trickster of some kind, wouldn't he have a stake somewhere? Am I thinking about this too hard?
Clearly, I am, because picking a lock on a house that's obviously occupied is -- like...
Hi! You look like a mini-Dean. You're adorable. And living... here.
You can trust us. We're the authorities. You can believe everything we say. Huh?
I'm Church Blue and this is my partner, Not!Simmons Red. ...
GriffJesse: "It's called soup. You heat it up and you eat it. And when my mom gets home, I'll break out that bottle of dessert wine on the table back there and whip up a nice soufflé."
And he's not a kid. You know.
I love how Sam immediately takes that feeling to heart and introduces himself like he would have to an adult. "I'm Robert."
*glees*
He doesn't know that everything he knows is a lie.
Isn't it weird how everything he mentioned -- the Tooth Fairy, itching powder, joy buzzers, making faces, and pop rocks -- those are all things that are harmless in and of themselves?
Those are things that kids should be allowed to have or do or whatever. But they're also things that tend to annoy self-directed, distracted adults who can't be bothered for whatever reason to let them experience those things... because it's too much trouble -- for the parents. Those were lies for the sake of convenience... and look what happened. Their son grew up too fast. Granted, in this case Jesse's got more than that against him, but he's not the only one in the room who got the short sell.
Kid: I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
-- A Christmas Story (1983)
No. Dean doesn't do that. He immediately tells the kid the truth. I hope that he did that because it is obvious to the grown-ups in this room how much disinformation has been known to blow up in people's faces, often on a large scale when they start operating in the adult world with bad information, and not because he was gloating that he'd figured out how unrealistically powerful this little kid's beliefs are.
Don't Buzz Robert, Jimmy. It makes him all tingly.
THAT KID. WHAT. A. BUZZKILL.
He's a very simple boy with a great imagination and unlimited potential, if only someone would have faith in him. He would like it if you called him Cordelia.
PART TWO
THE ROAD SO FAR
The Far Side of Fallen Idols
NOW...
OMG WHY. ARE YOU SITTING. THAT CLOSE TO THE TV DON'T YOU KNOW YOU CAN GO BLIND FROM DOING THAT. OH DEAR GOD, SHE'S REACHING FOR HER HAIRBRUSH... you know, that... teenage girls and their hairbrushes is a state secret, right? You DID know this, Show, don't tell me you didn't realize... *facepalms away from all the double meanings in this shot*
Click to viewBlame Tahiri. She made me put this in here. The only Veggie Tales song I know is "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (They Just Stay At Home and Lie Around)".
There's no going back with the hairbrush, Show, I think this episode has lost its innocence already, somehow. *taps mouth with finger*
EVIL BABYSITTERS who enforce rules and make you go to bed with ketchup on your face... PSH, they should DIE. RightKripkeJimmy?
And she hears things that don't make any sense and so she goes to the couch... with her hairbrush... for her peach.
Tahiri: Her peach? What happened to her cherry?
Blacklid: You're just wrong. No comment.
Because you know... you remember how VCRs would get to the end of the tape and then rewind automagically and the TV would sit there comfortably hissing at you while you are trying to find the knob in the dark to change it back to regular TV? Except for how it was your girlfriend and not the TV and you dialed it too far and it was bad?
Tahiri: Totally. You can dial those things too far, you know.
Blacklid: So... she accidentallied her hairbrush?
OBAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Dear Sam,
Did you know that if you lie on your side to brush your hair, those badges almost spell "FIB"?
-Lid, who is just trying to be helpful
P.S.
I'm really glad you're still using Plant and Page since forever ago during Bedtime Stories. Remember how I bitched about it back then? Because seriously, Dean would insist on being Page and we all know he makes the IDs. Who do I hug for getting it right this time?
Is it just me? Does this ring a bell? All the bottle bombs in Croatoan? How about the preservation qualities of formaldehyde (oh hai, notreally!immortality)? Or is it just that the children are our future and that all the children on this show are usually creepy and almost always bad news bears like in Bedtime Stories (which btw, I'm starting to feel stalked by that episode in here, aren't you)?
... What Kool-Aid? *sips coffee daintily*
The Brothers Grimm CANNOT BLEEVE THIS GUY. How... INSENSITIVE. She's DEAD, you know. You'd want some sympathy if you were dead, we're here to tell ya. You can't have the sehexy once you've been deaded. Unless you're Sam, or Dean, or Ruby... yeah, nevermind.
Dear FapdomFandom,
Even here, Sam is wearing Red and Dean is wearing Blue. I mean, what IS that?
Then again, we could just quit calling it the Dean Sam Show and start calling it Red vs Blue (CLICK PLAY, I DARE YOU and yes there's language, but I already dared you)...
... Then again, I think this guy might consider it a breach of intellectual property rights. But then again, it's Canadia and Halo haxxors we're talking about and I'm not entirely sure they'd notice and ... where was I going with that? I forget.
Yeah, I know. I'm just like this sometimes.
- CabooseFaplid
Dear Dean,
All those years of torture in Hell and yet here you are grimacing at a poor dead girl's hamburgered skull. (nice job on the hamburger, Show!) Dean, I think I love you. It just seems that much more wrong when they do it to themselves, doesn't it, Sam?
-Lid, who really wasn't going for the innuendo there and yet, there it is anyway
Didn't you hear? OCD KILLS WITH PHANTOM ITCH. ...
*mocks the pain* We are I am YOU ARE so screwed.
*scratches...*
*a lot*
They. Are sitting. On the couch. Where SHE DIED. Ew... I would have gotten rid of it lickety split.... did I just use that phrase? I totally didn't mean to. It just... I was having a moment.
All I could think was how much this kid is SOOOO wrong to think that no one would see that he's lying. You're talking to an ADULT, kid. We INVENTED lying.
Good God, y'all, I was already breakin' out the after-party cigarettes. BUT THEN. His shirt says TAKE IT OUT & PLAY WITH IT. That's like... a MANTRA worthy of repetition, right there, isn't it. How many references can we ram into an episode without actually USING THE WORD?
Dear Show,
Enough. I really hope you were going somewhere with all this fappery. I thought this was an epsiode about the Antichrist. Hmph.
-Lid, who done went blind a while back there a ways
Jimmy: "If I knew, I would tell you. I swear."
See, kid, Dean, he knows when you're full of it. He knows that line. His father invented it; his brother perfected it. Also, he never uses it himself ... because Dean would never lie. *whistles*
I sense some prepubescent guilt and angst in this episode... and a bit of empathy and stealthy manipulation (that stems from a deep understanding) coming from Dean. Oh Show, how could you? STOP TEASING US AND TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO DEAN WHEN HE WAS A KID, ALREADY, TO MAKE HIM SO WARY OF WOMEN WANTING TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND SAM ... oh wait. *goes to read John's Journal again*. OH, SHOW, I LARV YOU.
*sings* No more classrooms, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks...
Oh wait, I'm sorry. Some of you haven't read John's Journal and won't know what the hell I'm on aboot.
Here's the quartermile in 9-seconds version: Tucker John dated this chick when they were kids, right, only she was Sam's science teacher and Dean didn't like her - not one little bit, but he wasn't sure why, it was 'just a feeling' - and John started dating her anyway and then leaving them with her while he went on the road and things got a little interesting one night when she had to die... because she was actually a demon out for Sam all along.
The long and short of that - combined with what we know about Adam now - explains why John kept his trysts with Adam's mother a secret from both boys... and now I'm thinking that John was keeping it a secret especially from Dean out of guilt, considering how things went the last time with the Teacher from Hell.
Because think about it: nobody wants to be told by their kids that their hope for a normal life for themselves and their children is about to come crashing down - ever, not even once and especially not more than once. You'd rather lie... to keep the hope alive just a little bit longer.
But I'm not sure how that's relevant... *whistles some more*
ELECTROCUTED. Gee, that doesn't sound familiar. At all. Our boys have NEVER EVER EVER been electrocuted. And needed new hearts. Or been blown outta their shoes. Or anything. *shifty eyes*
Also, that poster back there says Now You See It, Now You Don't ... LAWL, JOYBUZZER joke, you are SNEAKY... and then I couldn't read the rest because I couldn't see it -- dammit, Sam.
Senile Old Man: "I DIDN'T KNOW. All's I did was shake his hand."
I think I get it. This guy is old and sits around all day feeling... well, old. Clearly, he needed some laughter in his life. Hospitals and residences and nursing homes are no fun. Just visiting someone there is no joy ride. No, it's not like an apartment. ... I can't blame this guy at all.
Also, the electrician must have needed someone to light up his life, too. Who doesn't need some cheering up on pain of death sometimes? Hey, that reminds me of... *John Cleese voice* "We sentence you to hang by the neck until you cheer up. AHAHAHAHAHA"...
*John Cleese voice* Once upon a time, Sam and Dean cooked Thanksgiving dinner in thirty nanoseconds and they both decided to go for a walk while it cooled enough for them to eat. On their walk, they decided to see if x-ray vision is really all that it's cracked up to be. Dean tried his goggles and saw a Red Sox game in Boston an entire week in the future and went home to place a sizable bet on the winning team. He was rather excited.
Sam, on the other hand, tried his goggles and saw Dean's hair in the sink at the microbial level, broke out with hives, and decided that this information wasn't really anything worth mentioning. As he scratched, he was utterly unaware of the feverishly humorous situational symmetry from precisely one year earlier. /*John Cleese voice*
DAH-AM-BURR-GUER
Dear Show,
It's kinda creeping me out how there are American flags in their room... and none of them are accurate - they're all skewed and misshapen and subject to the artists' interpretations and did I mention that it's creepy?
-Lid
DAH-AM-BURR-GUER tastes like:
a) tofu-burger
b) electrocuted rubber chickens
c) turkey
d) Dean's socks
e) cheese curds
*hands Dean a bukkit*
"AAAARRRR, MATEY, I'm a BUTT PIRATE."
Dear Dean,
How do you look eight years old here? What is it that's wiped the years from your face and given you that special glow?
...
Oh. Oh, yes. I nearly forgot how natural gas is also an organic astringent.
P.S.
I would have paid money to see Sam in the rainbow wig, but since you're there and now you owe me one, can you conjure me up a joy buzzer instead? Thanks.
-Lid, who has lost all sense of propriety
P.P.S. I MEAN ONE THAT WON'T TURN ME INTO A HAMBURGER.
JEEZ....
I dunno. I'm calling this look a close runner-up for the role of Fan Chagrin Cap. What do you guys think? Should we replace Becky?
TOO BAD. Becky stays.
Dear Show,
I am conundrummed. There are no creepy, evil children in this episode. They are all sweet and innocent and naive and stuff. Why? It's freaking me out.
-Lid, who is freaked out
Dear Dad Dude,
You just told your kid, who obviously loves fairies, that a fairy is going to visit her and leave cash money under her pillow for a piece of bone that just fell out of her head. Wait, I mean, a fairy is going to come down and reward her for transitioning smoothly through this right of passage into tweendom and you'll henceforth not want to know anything about what she keeps under her pillow. Wait, I mean, a fairy is going to enter her room while she's sleeping and fiddle around under the covers and... DUDE, THIS IS NOT GETTING ANY BETTER.
Sometimes these lies you tell -- they're actually more uncomfortable than the truth. Who's the 'fraidy cat' here?
-Lid, who also preferred not to believe in fairies and probably killed Peter Pan.... murderer
Yes, little girl, a freak. And he's INVITED.
If I even thought that someone showed up in my room in the middle of the night, I'd sleep in my parents' room on the floor for a week and refuse to go in there, even to get dressed. Ahem. *brushes lint off shoulder*
Good idea, little girl.
P.S. Why are you the normal one here, and not creepy?
Carol: We were gonna make a whole world like this. Now, everyone used to come here, but you know... you know what it feels like when all your teeth are falling out really slowly and you don't realize and then you notice that, well, they're really far apart. And then one day... you don't have any teeth anymore.
Max: Yeah.
Carol: Well it was like that.
Carol: It's going to be a place where only the things you want to happen, would happen.
Max: We could totally build a place like that!
--Where the Wild Things Are (2009)
Dear Tooth Fairy,
I would like to keep my teeth... and my lower jaw... and you know, mostly all of me together in one place. Especially now that I'm, you know, a grown-up and I know the difference between being naive and living in a dream world. I can totally handle it. Thanks anyway.
-Lid, who wants to keep her lid and stop having nightmares about this freaking episode
A new form of the Sammeh!BitchFace? I kinda like it.
Dear Dean,
He doesn't believe you. He's not naive like that. He just likes his dream world, okay, jeez.
-Lid
P.S. Because I'm a dork, I Googled Jen Fremont (no, not like that) and I found out that there's a Jen Fremont who writes a Foodie Blog. So, when you're in New York... /random
Hey Sam,
You know that saying about how "if it looks too good to be true, it probably is"? /*WyomingYellow-Eyed Demon Voice*
You know how you're always figuring out all these horrible travesties that are buried in fairy tales? You know how that wouldn't be possible if you hadn't spent your childhood looking for the dark or irrational side in all these stories? You know how I'm starting to think you did that because of what happened when your dad started disappearing more and more often and Dean got too tired to keep up appearances anymore? You know how I'm wondering if that quote was something you lived by afterward - if it was the mark of you losing your innocence all those years ago - and Azazel threw it in your face - now you're seeing the same thing happening with all these other kids and you wanna protect them from what you went through? You know how sad that makes me?
So, you know how confused I was that it was Dean who figured this out? Until I realized that his story is really pretty much the same as yours, except for how the fairy tales he believed were the lies that John told him about things to keep him in line and by default you? You know how sad that makes me?
...You know how high on caffeine Dean and I are right now?
Very.
-Lid
*catwise*
I bet Dean has his napkin in his lap, too. Uh huh.
So, Dean is so nuanced that it seemed downright odd that he wouldn't be using both hands (but not like that)?
There must be a Splain, Lucy.
(Then I saw in the VanCon pics that Jensendude was having to hide that he smashed his finger and the nail is all purple. Ouch. Roger, roger. Makes sense now, but this wasn't really the reason in the episode, either. /retarded minutae)
This room decor is sooooo eighties.
WAIT - I KNOW THIS GAME. And you draw a star and in the middle is a devil's trap and you OPEN THE GATES AND HELL IS INSIDE. Right? Right?
Right? Er... *stares* Huh?
Oh. That's why.
Dear Show,
I thought we were done with all these references to, you know, THAT. I mean, COME. ON. I mean. *sigh*
Show, this is the one thing that parents just don't talk to their kids about. Heck, parents can barely admit that kids find out how their plumbing works loooong before they have the gumption to sit down and talk about it. It's this... elephant in the room. It's like they're too young to know about something they already know about. You know. They're not stupid. There has to be a way to get over this thing about knowing things without making you feel like they've lost all their innocence or something. Maybe we need to redefine innocence as guilt-free and not someone who's left to be overly naive-- Hey! Give me back my soap box! *chases*
Sam is wishing for his innocence back right now... hehehe.
*whispers* Use his razor, Dean. I won't even tell. *lies*
P.S. Why is Sam doing all the research again while you're sitting around, fisting your ham?
-Lid, who thinks Sam needs a raise... yes, like that... while you go out and play FIB by yourself. Seems fair.
OH! LOOK! There -- in the corner. It's the mail truck.
It didn't stop at the house... because it saw the Impala and Sam and Dean!
They pwned demons and didn't even know it!
Should we tell them? ... *watches Sam serenely caress the Iron Horse*
nah....
Icon? Anyone?
Haven't they made a sheath for this yet? If they thought it was a Trickster of some kind, wouldn't he have a stake somewhere? Am I thinking about this too hard?
Clearly, I am, because picking a lock on a house that's obviously occupied is -- like...
Hi! You look like a mini-Dean. You're adorable. And living... here.
You can trust us. We're the authorities. You can believe everything we say. Huh?
I'm Church Blue and this is my partner, Not!Simmons Red. ...
GriffJesse: "It's called soup. You heat it up and you eat it. And when my mom gets home, I'll break out that bottle of dessert wine on the table back there and whip up a nice soufflé."
And he's not a kid. You know.
I love how Sam immediately takes that feeling to heart and introduces himself like he would have to an adult. "I'm Robert."
*glees*
He doesn't know that everything he knows is a lie.
Isn't it weird how everything he mentioned -- the Tooth Fairy, itching powder, joy buzzers, making faces, and pop rocks -- those are all things that are harmless in and of themselves?
Those are things that kids should be allowed to have or do or whatever. But they're also things that tend to annoy self-directed, distracted adults who can't be bothered for whatever reason to let them experience those things... because it's too much trouble -- for the parents. Those were lies for the sake of convenience... and look what happened. Their son grew up too fast. Granted, in this case Jesse's got more than that against him, but he's not the only one in the room who got the short sell.
Kid: I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
-- A Christmas Story (1983)
No. Dean doesn't do that. He immediately tells the kid the truth. I hope that he did that because it is obvious to the grown-ups in this room how much disinformation has been known to blow up in people's faces, often on a large scale when they start operating in the adult world with bad information, and not because he was gloating that he'd figured out how unrealistically powerful this little kid's beliefs are.
Don't Buzz Robert, Jimmy. It makes him all tingly.
THAT KID. WHAT. A. BUZZKILL.
He's a very simple boy with a great imagination and unlimited potential, if only someone would have faith in him. He would like it if you called him Cordelia.
PART TWO