5.01 Sympathy for the Devil, part 1/3
THE ROAD SO FAR
The Far Side of Lucifer Rising
NOW...
Click the red button and wait for green, then click the green one. or download it here.
First I wanna put on my cheerleader outift and my bass guitar and shred it to Thunderstruck. BRB
Okay.
"I'm sorry." OH MY GOD KILL ME NOW. SAM'S FACE. DEAN! ...
Get me out of here.
Dear Dean,
Step on his foot or something so he won't stand there guiltily waiting for the Prince of Darkness Lucifer to show up and make his eyes pop out of his purty little head. Thanks.
-Lid
Hold, please. The next available door-slamming entity will be with you shortly. *elevator music*
PRETTY. YELLOW. EYES.
You can't leave the party before your lovely host has a chance to see if you boys can hear him.
But no worries, it might just be a little bit of static from things like the earth's crust shattering. (Honestly, you'd think people were more resilient. Like cockroaches. Or is it monkeys? Like cockroach monkeys.)
LOOK AT THE PRETTY LIGHTS. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.... (zap)
Wait. What?
I think I've seen this face before.
Yeah, that's about right.
Dear GodShow,
Thanks for putting me in the boys' shoes immediately so that I feel as helpless as they do. This is exactly where I want to be... except for how I would rather be in the back seat of the Impala while they argue over who ordered the large onion rings.
-Lid
P.S. No love for putting Dean in his own personal end of the world nightmare, only to reroute him to BWI-Marshall and spend two hours and forty minutes in a holding pattern with a breathing apparatus on his face that makes him look like Donald Duck. Like there was never anything to worry about in the first place because there's, like, angels watching over him and they aren't segregated by age, gender, nationality or gravity, unless you make them wear meatsuits. I can see why you had to edit some of that out.
Wait. What? THEY ARE DRIVING A FORD? THE WORLD HAS ENDED.
But I have no Sympathy for the Devil. ... So where are my onion rings?
Dear Show,
Clearly, hell froze over while they were in Baltimore because everything is in Celsius. Just sayin'...
-Lid
"Dean... look-"
"Don't say anything."
Dear Dean,
I have a question. Was what you actually meant to say closer to, "don't say anything because if you start talking about how you started all this and taking all the blame for unintentionally ending the world, then I'mma hafta come clean about what I did and I just can't handle that right now"? BECAUSE I THINK THAT IT WAS.
Except for how that won't compute. Sam is confused about why you're not letting him get this off his chest. Having his apology genuinely accepted would mean that he can move forward and try to fix it. Not giving him that is just going to crank that gear of useless frustration one notch tighter until he's coiled so tight that...
Yeah, I know that you know that this isn't about you. I know that. But to Sam, it is. To him, this is about his curse and how he messed up on an EPIC level. He's lost as to why you are acting like it's not a big deal.
You barely hacking it through the Last Train to Clarksville over the past year is only making it worse. It's like you've lost your mind sometimes.
-Lid
P.S. Go find Cas. Yeah. Because Cas knows all and fixes everything. He's been so helpful up til now saving your ass. Unlike your little brother, who's been saving your ass by turns his whole life, even to the extreme of accidently starting the apocalypse... and... just... huh?
POOR, BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER.
Seeing Bobby's house Chuck's house in its normal state makes me feel like Bobby's house is actually NEAT in comparison, but this just takes the cake.
Dear KripkeChuck,
Did you know that thwacking someone upside the head with a toilet plunger KINDA REALLY EFFING HURTS A LOT?
-Lid
His body temperature was 150 and his heartrate was 200 and his eyes went black (and he didn't KNOW)? So, what's he like in bed, Chuck? You can tell us. *chin in hands*
Dear Sam,
I guess this means that when a demon's eyes turn black, that occular distortion or visual degeneration aren't really an issue. I mean, not that I've seen a lot of demons walking into walls or anything, but I would think it would be obvious that they don't really notice when their eyes are black ... except for how they seem to be able to turn it on and off at will.
Does that mean you're not really evil, even though you think you are? *writes that down*
-Lid
That's Castiel a splode all over the kitchen? Ew. Someone call the tooth fairy.
Just a wonderment here, but why is Chuck able to feel the angels all of a sudden? What happened to him when the archangel showed up?
Will someone just off this Zachariah dude now? Seriously. Security guards? SECURITY GUARDS? Scared of Dean, or Chuck, or the archangel? I don't CARE if it's Apocalypse Now, HE KICKED THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER. OH, THAT IS IT.
Seeing as how Zachariah wants Dean to go with him and Dean calls him an asshat (which in my book means UH, HOW ABOUT NO and DANGER WILL ROBINSON), and seeing as how the archangel is supposed to protect the Prophet Chuck when he goes DANGER WILL ROBINSON, and seeing as how Chuck isn't in any more danger now than he was when Castiel and Dean were there before and he DIDN'T go DANGER WILL ROBINSON, and seeing as how Dean and Chuck are here now going DANGER WILL ROBINSON ... WHERE IS THE ARCHANGEL?
*breathes*
Maybe that means the archangel reports to Zachariah somehow and that's why he's not stopping the asshat, or else Zachariah is actually scared enough to bring the heavies and it's just a coincidence that the archangel is vacationing in Ecuador with a margarita and a banana hammock after all that sweaty a sploding work he did, in which case I'mma throw my hands up at all this angel business and hide behind Sam and Dean because, hi, *squeezes arm muscles*they have brains. More often than not. I prefer Sam as the heavy.
Yep. SAM > ANGELS
(And we are not even through the credits and I'm not even drinking. Yet.)
SONS OF BITCHES! (*runs to get a beer*)
Dear Angel I Refuse To Name,
Sammeh dint start no stinkin' pocalypse? And you're makin' him wonder how he dint when knows that he did? And then you turn right around and blame Dean for not stoppin' Sammeh? NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
And also, if you didn't want this... that means that you dint put no muthereffin Snapes on no muthereffin' planes either because you'd WANT Dean right there at Ground Zero to stop Lucifer (with WHAT exactly) and... oh.
Dear Asshat,
ICWYDT.
-Lid
P.S. Feeding into the Winchester propaganda hula dance to make Dean AND Sam both sink deeper into their own personal vendettas of guilt? That's low. Effective, but low and you're a bastard and you need to DIAF. Prefereably on the ceiling. Of Hell.
P.P.S I kinda really don't like you rather a lot. Also, you just kinda went full retard there, by putting in your MVP during the bottom of the ninth with nobody out and the Homerun King up to bat and no weapon to stop him... unless you know something I don't.
P.P.P.S. How long do I have to wait to find out what you know so that your existence is no longer necessary?
"You think you can rebel against us as Lucifer did?"
Well, now, who is US?
Hm.
*eats an onion ring*
Dean's bleeding?
Dear Dean,
Quick thinking. I didn't realize that when you were staring at that half-naked chick on the wall earlier, it was to hide the fact that you were slicing yourself open and scrawling sigils on the door to protect you and Sam from the Evil Dicks because ARCHANGEL RELIABILITY IS CRAP. I love you. Also, I thought only angels could do that. Just sayin'.
-Lid
Dear Show,
NICE GRAPHICS THERE with the sigil blazing out like that. A+
-Lid
"I learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch."
Dear Dean,
If you detest angels, why are you using their mojo?
-Lid
*pats Sam's shoulder* I'm sure you're not being replaced, Sam. I am sure. Know how I know? Because ... just because they were friends doesn't mean you guys aren't brothers. Right? Right, so--
*gets interrupted*
Oh, hi, Lust. Hi, Sam shaking your head in contritioncondemnation at two people so obviously having to meet in an alleyway for a tryst.
Obviously. ...
I like this motel room. ...
Now that Castiel is gone, SAM HAS MADE THEM IMPERVIOUS TO ANGEL GAYRADAR. With his learnings. I don't sense any subconscious, fear laden competitiveness here at all. Nope. They are just taking care of each other, protecting each other, by any means necessary.
Dear Sam,
If you detest demons, why are you using their mojo? And how is this any different from Dean?
-- so, stop, like, apologizing for every little thing you've learned just because the knowledge originated in Hell... I mean, think where DeanSolomon would be without that knowledge. Except for how he feels like he's where he is - and you're where you are - because of that knowledge, you know, of Hell and... I'm not making this any better, am I?
-Lid
So, you are both doing the same things, feeling the same things, worrying about the same things. So, why do things feel.... off?
Sam: "to tell you the truth, I feel fine... *shifty eyes*"
Dean: "supernatural methadone... *exaggerated nod*"
*sigh* Oh. That's why.
OH BOYS... it's like you haven't learned anything at all.
Dear Dean,
If he says he's really sorry, it's because he really is. He doesn't know how to make it better and he feels like you don't believe him. Whenever he brings it up, you get hostile and conciliatory all at the same time. It's like you just won't let him in at all. He wants to show you that HE REALLY JUST WANTS TO FIX THE TWO OF YOU.
But that's because there's a bigger equation here now, isn't there? And you're partly mad at him for caring this much. You're unsettled because you feel like all he cares about is you and how you see him... and he shouldn't feel that way about you anymore - he wouldn't, shouldn't care if he knew what you'd done. You think what you did is far worse, but if you told him that, then maybe he wouldn't be on this path of repentance and self-redemption that he's on now. You're worried that if he thought he didn't have anything to be sorry for, he'd get sidetracked like he did when he was a kid, condemning everyone else's actions within a 100 mile radius...including the loser angels. Right?
There's two halves of your brother fighting for dominance and you think that suffering in silence is the only thing that might save him, huh? But this fight, it's something you can't do anymore. Watching that dichotomy inside Sam happen in front of you every day for over a year when you're struggling against the same guilt and can't tell him? That is too much pressure to take without some kind of outlet... and now your outlet is dead. *blinks* Yeah, I'm not sure how to fix that, either.
-Lid
I keep thinking about all those Bible verses that start with "there came a great wind" and when I casually browsed the phrase, it seems like most of the mentions are in books concerning righteous men undergoing great tribulations at the permission of God, like Jonah and Job. Not that it means anything, it was just ... interesting.
When Nick woke up covered in blood, and how he was so sure that he was hallucinating because he'd been living with it for so long made me feel horrible for him. Yet, I immediately started wondering if he'd done something to his own family. You know, without realizing it.
...
Dear KripkeShow,
It's just so many levels of wrong to follow up my sympathy for Nick with something like this... something I cannot even define my feelings about. It's viable abject horror and absurdity to the point of second-hand embarrassed laughter. I hate you. I think.
-Lid
P.S. No, I'm pretty sure I love you. And I'm also pretty sure that I've read Becky's stuff somewhere before...
*eyeroll*
DUH.
Dear Fandom,
Who reads their porn aloud to themselves as they are writing it? Show of hands. Anyone? No? *Sammy-esque shoulder roll* Okay, great, we can move on, then. Ahem.
-Lid
Did I say I like this room? Because I really do. I think that makes me eclectic or something. I would put this in my house and I'm not even kidding. Okay, maybe I am, but not by much.
Regents Inn? Room 35?
I Kings 3:5 is about Solomon being told by God that he can have anything he wants. You know what he asked for?
*waits while you look it up*
No. Comment.
Yo Show,
YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG. She didn't bleat nearly loud enough. Maybe to get that reaction, you'll have to put her in front of something a little more FIRM. How about in front of a moving vehicle?
-Lid
Hi, baby. *pets*
***
GO TO PART 2
(screencaps by oxoniensis)
The Far Side of Lucifer Rising
NOW...
Click the red button and wait for green, then click the green one. or download it here.
First I wanna put on my cheerleader outift and my bass guitar and shred it to Thunderstruck. BRB
Okay.
"I'm sorry." OH MY GOD KILL ME NOW. SAM'S FACE. DEAN! ...
Get me out of here.
Dear Dean,
Step on his foot or something so he won't stand there guiltily waiting for the Prince of Darkness Lucifer to show up and make his eyes pop out of his purty little head. Thanks.
-Lid
Hold, please. The next available door-slamming entity will be with you shortly. *elevator music*
PRETTY. YELLOW. EYES.
You can't leave the party before your lovely host has a chance to see if you boys can hear him.
But no worries, it might just be a little bit of static from things like the earth's crust shattering. (Honestly, you'd think people were more resilient. Like cockroaches. Or is it monkeys? Like cockroach monkeys.)
LOOK AT THE PRETTY LIGHTS. IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.... (zap)
Wait. What?
I think I've seen this face before.
Yeah, that's about right.
Dear GodShow,
Thanks for putting me in the boys' shoes immediately so that I feel as helpless as they do. This is exactly where I want to be... except for how I would rather be in the back seat of the Impala while they argue over who ordered the large onion rings.
-Lid
P.S. No love for putting Dean in his own personal end of the world nightmare, only to reroute him to BWI-Marshall and spend two hours and forty minutes in a holding pattern with a breathing apparatus on his face that makes him look like Donald Duck. Like there was never anything to worry about in the first place because there's, like, angels watching over him and they aren't segregated by age, gender, nationality or gravity, unless you make them wear meatsuits. I can see why you had to edit some of that out.
Wait. What? THEY ARE DRIVING A FORD? THE WORLD HAS ENDED.
But I have no Sympathy for the Devil. ... So where are my onion rings?
Dear Show,
Clearly, hell froze over while they were in Baltimore because everything is in Celsius. Just sayin'...
-Lid
"Dean... look-"
"Don't say anything."
Dear Dean,
I have a question. Was what you actually meant to say closer to, "don't say anything because if you start talking about how you started all this and taking all the blame for unintentionally ending the world, then I'mma hafta come clean about what I did and I just can't handle that right now"? BECAUSE I THINK THAT IT WAS.
Except for how that won't compute. Sam is confused about why you're not letting him get this off his chest. Having his apology genuinely accepted would mean that he can move forward and try to fix it. Not giving him that is just going to crank that gear of useless frustration one notch tighter until he's coiled so tight that...
Yeah, I know that you know that this isn't about you. I know that. But to Sam, it is. To him, this is about his curse and how he messed up on an EPIC level. He's lost as to why you are acting like it's not a big deal.
You barely hacking it through the Last Train to Clarksville over the past year is only making it worse. It's like you've lost your mind sometimes.
-Lid
P.S. Go find Cas. Yeah. Because Cas knows all and fixes everything. He's been so helpful up til now saving your ass. Unlike your little brother, who's been saving your ass by turns his whole life, even to the extreme of accidently starting the apocalypse... and... just... huh?
POOR, BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER.
Seeing Bobby's house Chuck's house in its normal state makes me feel like Bobby's house is actually NEAT in comparison, but this just takes the cake.
Dear KripkeChuck,
Did you know that thwacking someone upside the head with a toilet plunger KINDA REALLY EFFING HURTS A LOT?
-Lid
His body temperature was 150 and his heartrate was 200 and his eyes went black (and he didn't KNOW)? So, what's he like in bed, Chuck? You can tell us. *chin in hands*
Dear Sam,
I guess this means that when a demon's eyes turn black, that occular distortion or visual degeneration aren't really an issue. I mean, not that I've seen a lot of demons walking into walls or anything, but I would think it would be obvious that they don't really notice when their eyes are black ... except for how they seem to be able to turn it on and off at will.
Does that mean you're not really evil, even though you think you are? *writes that down*
-Lid
That's Castiel a splode all over the kitchen? Ew. Someone call the tooth fairy.
Just a wonderment here, but why is Chuck able to feel the angels all of a sudden? What happened to him when the archangel showed up?
Will someone just off this Zachariah dude now? Seriously. Security guards? SECURITY GUARDS? Scared of Dean, or Chuck, or the archangel? I don't CARE if it's Apocalypse Now, HE KICKED THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER. OH, THAT IS IT.
Seeing as how Zachariah wants Dean to go with him and Dean calls him an asshat (which in my book means UH, HOW ABOUT NO and DANGER WILL ROBINSON), and seeing as how the archangel is supposed to protect the Prophet Chuck when he goes DANGER WILL ROBINSON, and seeing as how Chuck isn't in any more danger now than he was when Castiel and Dean were there before and he DIDN'T go DANGER WILL ROBINSON, and seeing as how Dean and Chuck are here now going DANGER WILL ROBINSON ... WHERE IS THE ARCHANGEL?
*breathes*
Maybe that means the archangel reports to Zachariah somehow and that's why he's not stopping the asshat, or else Zachariah is actually scared enough to bring the heavies and it's just a coincidence that the archangel is vacationing in Ecuador with a margarita and a banana hammock after all that sweaty a sploding work he did, in which case I'mma throw my hands up at all this angel business and hide behind Sam and Dean because, hi, *squeezes arm muscles*they have brains. More often than not. I prefer Sam as the heavy.
Yep. SAM > ANGELS
(And we are not even through the credits and I'm not even drinking. Yet.)
SONS OF BITCHES! (*runs to get a beer*)
Dear Angel I Refuse To Name,
Sammeh dint start no stinkin' pocalypse? And you're makin' him wonder how he dint when knows that he did? And then you turn right around and blame Dean for not stoppin' Sammeh? NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
And also, if you didn't want this... that means that you dint put no muthereffin Snapes on no muthereffin' planes either because you'd WANT Dean right there at Ground Zero to stop Lucifer (with WHAT exactly) and... oh.
Dear Asshat,
ICWYDT.
-Lid
P.S. Feeding into the Winchester propaganda hula dance to make Dean AND Sam both sink deeper into their own personal vendettas of guilt? That's low. Effective, but low and you're a bastard and you need to DIAF. Prefereably on the ceiling. Of Hell.
P.P.S I kinda really don't like you rather a lot. Also, you just kinda went full retard there, by putting in your MVP during the bottom of the ninth with nobody out and the Homerun King up to bat and no weapon to stop him... unless you know something I don't.
P.P.P.S. How long do I have to wait to find out what you know so that your existence is no longer necessary?
"You think you can rebel against us as Lucifer did?"
Well, now, who is US?
Hm.
*eats an onion ring*
Dean's bleeding?
Dear Dean,
Quick thinking. I didn't realize that when you were staring at that half-naked chick on the wall earlier, it was to hide the fact that you were slicing yourself open and scrawling sigils on the door to protect you and Sam from the Evil Dicks because ARCHANGEL RELIABILITY IS CRAP. I love you. Also, I thought only angels could do that. Just sayin'.
-Lid
Dear Show,
NICE GRAPHICS THERE with the sigil blazing out like that. A+
-Lid
"I learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch."
Dear Dean,
If you detest angels, why are you using their mojo?
-Lid
*pats Sam's shoulder* I'm sure you're not being replaced, Sam. I am sure. Know how I know? Because ... just because they were friends doesn't mean you guys aren't brothers. Right? Right, so--
*gets interrupted*
Oh, hi, Lust. Hi, Sam shaking your head in contritioncondemnation at two people so obviously having to meet in an alleyway for a tryst.
Obviously. ...
I like this motel room. ...
Now that Castiel is gone, SAM HAS MADE THEM IMPERVIOUS TO ANGEL GAYRADAR. With his learnings. I don't sense any subconscious, fear laden competitiveness here at all. Nope. They are just taking care of each other, protecting each other, by any means necessary.
Dear Sam,
If you detest demons, why are you using their mojo? And how is this any different from Dean?
-- so, stop, like, apologizing for every little thing you've learned just because the knowledge originated in Hell... I mean, think where DeanSolomon would be without that knowledge. Except for how he feels like he's where he is - and you're where you are - because of that knowledge, you know, of Hell and... I'm not making this any better, am I?
-Lid
So, you are both doing the same things, feeling the same things, worrying about the same things. So, why do things feel.... off?
Sam: "to tell you the truth, I feel fine... *shifty eyes*"
Dean: "supernatural methadone... *exaggerated nod*"
*sigh* Oh. That's why.
OH BOYS... it's like you haven't learned anything at all.
Dear Dean,
If he says he's really sorry, it's because he really is. He doesn't know how to make it better and he feels like you don't believe him. Whenever he brings it up, you get hostile and conciliatory all at the same time. It's like you just won't let him in at all. He wants to show you that HE REALLY JUST WANTS TO FIX THE TWO OF YOU.
But that's because there's a bigger equation here now, isn't there? And you're partly mad at him for caring this much. You're unsettled because you feel like all he cares about is you and how you see him... and he shouldn't feel that way about you anymore - he wouldn't, shouldn't care if he knew what you'd done. You think what you did is far worse, but if you told him that, then maybe he wouldn't be on this path of repentance and self-redemption that he's on now. You're worried that if he thought he didn't have anything to be sorry for, he'd get sidetracked like he did when he was a kid, condemning everyone else's actions within a 100 mile radius...including the loser angels. Right?
There's two halves of your brother fighting for dominance and you think that suffering in silence is the only thing that might save him, huh? But this fight, it's something you can't do anymore. Watching that dichotomy inside Sam happen in front of you every day for over a year when you're struggling against the same guilt and can't tell him? That is too much pressure to take without some kind of outlet... and now your outlet is dead. *blinks* Yeah, I'm not sure how to fix that, either.
-Lid
I keep thinking about all those Bible verses that start with "there came a great wind" and when I casually browsed the phrase, it seems like most of the mentions are in books concerning righteous men undergoing great tribulations at the permission of God, like Jonah and Job. Not that it means anything, it was just ... interesting.
When Nick woke up covered in blood, and how he was so sure that he was hallucinating because he'd been living with it for so long made me feel horrible for him. Yet, I immediately started wondering if he'd done something to his own family. You know, without realizing it.
...
Dear KripkeShow,
It's just so many levels of wrong to follow up my sympathy for Nick with something like this... something I cannot even define my feelings about. It's viable abject horror and absurdity to the point of second-hand embarrassed laughter. I hate you. I think.
-Lid
P.S. No, I'm pretty sure I love you. And I'm also pretty sure that I've read Becky's stuff somewhere before...
*eyeroll*
DUH.
Dear Fandom,
Who reads their porn aloud to themselves as they are writing it? Show of hands. Anyone? No? *Sammy-esque shoulder roll* Okay, great, we can move on, then. Ahem.
-Lid
Did I say I like this room? Because I really do. I think that makes me eclectic or something. I would put this in my house and I'm not even kidding. Okay, maybe I am, but not by much.
Regents Inn? Room 35?
I Kings 3:5 is about Solomon being told by God that he can have anything he wants. You know what he asked for?
*waits while you look it up*
No. Comment.
Yo Show,
YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG. She didn't bleat nearly loud enough. Maybe to get that reaction, you'll have to put her in front of something a little more FIRM. How about in front of a moving vehicle?
-Lid
Hi, baby. *pets*
***
GO TO PART 2
(screencaps by oxoniensis)