5.16 Dark Side of the Moon, Part 2/3
< PART ONE | PART THREE >
38.
Applause for the sound mixing here! It exaggerates Mary pulling the knife out when she asks if Dean wants his crusts cut off.
IT SOUNDS LIKE A MACHETE.
39.
And even though he's all growed up and big, and even though she's gonna cut them off no matter what he says now, he still wants it that way.
That's the sound of my heartstrings pulling until they make a tiny, squeaky noise...
Aw Dean... can you ever go home again? Is this going to be a happy one, for once? *anime eyes of hope*
Sam says, "...Mom?" and goodbye heartstrings... Even though he already knows these are just memories, his heart wants to hold her so badly that he has to try. He's had a cathartic talk with a father who won't remember it. Now he only wants acknowledgement from his mom like the last time they were Home (109) that she loves him... that the unknown, prodigal son is welcome with open arms. But the only person who can really acknowledge and understand and love Sam is Dean, and vice versa.
40.
At first, Sam thinks it's not real and therefore not as important as finding the road. He thought he was done learning and he had his next mission. It took him a minute to see how important it was for Dean, even though it wasn't real this time, to remember what it was like to save someone by telling them that you still love and believe in them, even if all it looked like was a hug.
Dean's theme music! OMG, I MISSED YOU. *listens*
Because you are a little angel, Dean. You want some pie?
41.
It's starting to kill me that all of their Greatest Hits all have such a tinge of sadness to them. Dean's most memorable moments are the ones where he was trying to hug save everyone. *facepalm of sad*
Sam sees it as something special that Dean was having to do, cleaning up after Dad.
Dean knows it's just what family does and he's sad that Sammy is just now coming to terms with that, because until now, that burden has fallen exclusively on his shoulders.
42.
Sam is crushed when he hears Dean say that he loves her and promises to never leave her.
Suddenly, he realizes that when he left, part of Dean took it as Sam not loving him anymore.
We've all known that, but he finally... finally gets it. Oh, Sam. You didn't know. Now you can fix it!
Yes, let's get back on the road.
*deep clown voice*
Congratulations, Sam. You have passed the Second Gate. Please hold while we try to push Dean through.
*static*
43.
John didn't even tell Mary that he had lost his job when she was pregnant with Dean.
John just knew he could handle it. It wasn't that he didn't believe in himself...
he just didn't have the same faith in other people. That sounds a lot like Dean right now, to me.
Dean took it personally when Sam left because Sam was his only cheerleader.
That was something that John couldn't do for him, as much as they loved each other.
And that absence of "visible" faith in him from his dad sent Dean to the ends of the earth looking for it in other ways.
John was capable of so much love, but he would also be the first to admit that his style didn't fit the needs of any of his boys...
it fit Mary and her death meant that his heart crumbled. Despite loving other women, his bond to Mary never diminished.
Bobby was right. He may not have lasted as long in Hell, but Dean is a better man than John in those ways.
The ones hardest to break in Hell are the ones who don't have anything to lose, see. (Oh, JOHN.)
/family dynamic psychology rant
44.
Sam found the road! It's a postcard! It's a postcard of...
ROUTE 66(6)
HUH.
45.
In my head, John saved all of these from his and Mary's honeymoon, driving the old Route 66.
It was one of the few things they took with them after the fire. /in my head
46.
Or maybe... Sam took off, hitchhiking and grabbing postcards as he went, found an abandoned place in Flagstaff, put them up on the wall, found a stray and hung out for a while.
He knew for certain that Dean would find him, Dean always finds him, so a little joyride (like Dean took once in a while) sounded like too good of an opportunity to pass up.
Maybe he ran into Bobby, who tipped Dean off, seeing as how Bobby was there working on something around that time that Bela knew about, even though Bobby couldn't, or didn't want to, remember what it was exactly.
47.
Dean doesn't see the resemblance to his joyrides at all because he's too worried about what Dad would say when he found out that he lost Sam.
Yes, Dean. Joy rides. Big. Small. Tag a girl in the school janitor's closet Dean. Five states in five days Dean. Cassie Dean. Lisa Dean. Dean that wasn't Sam's!Dean. Not bunched so tight together that he couldn't even breathe some days. (I love you, man, but you have got a serious blind spot going, there.)
48.
Sam never thought of it like that. He thought he was being just like his big brother.
49.
Dean may have had all the heartache on this one, but rather than stay and try to see Sam's point of view
and the similarities in it, he turns his back... and leaves.
Presumably, it's to get to the next thing, to do the job, yadda yadda. But we all know that it's just an excuse.
Dean's tired of the darkness of his job... unless he needs it to run away from something even darker.
Oh, Dean.
Dean sees the WORK CREW AHEAD sign and figures that door must be the Road. And it is. But it's just going to be the same thing. Because you can't run in Heaven, silly.
Which is why, when he leaves, it's like a funhouse of mirrors at a carnival. Just when you think you've got the labyrinth totally made and you just want the hell out, you speed up and round a corner... and your lack of awareness springs out in front of you with another wall of mirrors.
50.
*loves this trailer for personal fanfic reasons*
*deep clown voice*
Well done, Sam. Please hold while we try to push Dean through.
*static*
51.
Dean was leading, but that doesn't mean that he found a new road. They're in the same clothes. No, it's same road, but he didn't face his problem yet. It looks different when they turn around, but that's what a labyrinth does.
The very first thing that I thought, when I saw this house, was the Civil War... and the White House.
They keep throwing Team America *bleep* into episodes, and it makes total sense considering...
a house divided against itself cannot stand, Lincoln-fighter Dean.
52.
And when they turn around, where the trailer was ... is a tree.
As Cas mentioned, an axis mundi can be nearly anything, a river, a road. For lots of people, it's a tree.
This is Osiris and Set. This is the Egyptian symbol of the Axis Mundi.
The middle looks like a mask with a line through it, doesn't it?
This is Sam and Dean.
This is a road. Every road they've ever been on.
This is Lid, not to mention Dean, getting really redundant.
53.
Dean is forced to go from one instance of Sam's departing to another more hurtful one. But he's buried the hurt so deep, that he can't even trust what he's seeing. He has to ask Sam.
Sam knows that reminding Dean is only going to exacerbate the problem they just had. Sam doesn't have any hope right now that it would help. He knows Dean always needs some time after something like that. Space. Time to run away. (oh hai). Sam wants to lie and say he doesn't know, not for himself, but for Dean. Keep Dean focused on the job that keeps them together.
But they're not getting any time here.
*cue lying*
54.
Sam: No idea.
Deep Clown Voice: *whispers* Doing it wrong.
55.
Dean: This?...
And he says it like it's Sam's fault they are there. Uh. Whut.
Sam: *silence*
Sam really doesn't want to go there. He knows Dean can't handle it.
Dean: This is the night you ditched us for Stanford, isn't it?... This is your idea of Heaven?
Sam: *silence*
Sam finally takes a chance to explain it and Dean shuts him down.
It's one of the worst nights of Dean's life because Sam beat him to the punch that time, leaving the way he did.
Only when Dean leaves, he never looks at it that way -- as leaving Sam.
The only one who feels that way is the one who gets left behind.
The only difference is, Sam doesn't understand how Dean only turns it into a bad thing when Sam does it.
The only difference is, Dean doesn't understand how Sam doesn't realize that it he is making Dean's job impossible.
"Uncredited and underappreciated" Dean. "Everyone else is always leaving me" Dean.
Hey guess what, Dean? Imma brutally honest you for a minute. You walked through the door first. Sam only busted out the headlight in the sky when he left the trailer. The house was already there. I know, I checked. This is your Heaven we're in.
Feels a lot like Hell, to me. You didn't have to bring it with you, geez. By the way, this is the one thing you didn't lose when you were there in Hell, huh? Your faith in Sam? How does it feel to lose it in Heaven? How sick and twisted is that? That's not what this was for. *facepalm*
Man, you seriously need to hug it out. *wrestles him like a bear*
Dear Sam and Dean,
Squabbling in endless loops about old stuff and never getting anywhere makes the Deep Clown Voice bored.
Let's do something that will pull you together. How about this. *watches more reruns*
-Deep Thought
56.
Dear Ursa Major and Ursa Minor,
You can't run in Heaven, sillies. You're still just following the Road.
Like a little car on a little track.
-Lid
Where's Ariadne's string when you need it?
57.
Here is another faceless man. Granted, he's a crapload more entertaining and less scary, but it's the same archetype as the two clowns who wasted Dean and Sam to begin with. This is perhaps one of the reasons that so many people do not have a warm fuzzy about what happens in this segment.
It's also the first segment that transitions heavily without Sam and Dean experiencing a spontaneous change of clothes. One could argue that if this was their memory, Dean would be back in his leather jacket, etc. ala Everybody Loves a Clown. Well, of course, everybody loves a clown... look how entertaining and SMRT he is!
Yes, this is Ash's world now and he's grown accustomed to haxxoring it up, down and sideways. Honestly, it's possible that nothing funny is going on here, but I don't trust it... there's a 1 count in favor (Ash!) and about 2 against (mask! timing!).
Sam leads the way in, but this isn't about Sam anymore, so again, the clothes don't change.
This is the same Road: The Road Less Traveled.
58.
Make that 1 in favor, 1 ambiguous, and 3 against. I had five seconds to shout "ASH!" and feel glee and appreciate his mean angel hacker skillz. But then I REALLY felt like this wasn't completely on the up and up because the ONLY characters who make THAT gesture, with their wings arms wide open standing there like that waiting for recognition... are dick angels. I could be wrong. But... huh uh, DNW.
59.
I love the shout out to Ellen and Jo especially, but the boys still take it hard whenever they're faced with someone who died because of them. It's never about the bigger mission. They always take it personally. It keeps them human, I think.
WinchesterLand.
ASHLAND!!
Roll all the buttloads together and you have Heaven, like a herd of metaphorical trees headed for Isengard.
I don't have a cap of it here, but there's a 99 BEER sign on the back wall ... for the next episode? Giggity giggity.
All the lights are so glowy and sparkly in My Blue Heaven (which is suffering from a SEVERE LACK of blue, by the way) and I love this effect. It totally worked to remind me where we are without being overbearing.
I think the last time I saw anything like it was ... when Dean was only mostly dead in What Is And What Should Never Be (220) and Dream a Little Dream of Me (310). Who says you can't go to Heaven if you're only mostly dead? Show me the rulebook. LOL
Hey...that means...
Heaven looks like Dean's mind.
...
HUH.
60.
Dean: Thank God, the Roadhouse. It even smells the same.
Because where do they always run to, if not Bobby's? And why haven't they changed clothes again? And who has been on Dean's mind since they died recently? And where did they get their first (distracting) gig after Dad died? And who deciphered all of Dad's research for them?
*makes with the Emeril impression* BAM.
61.
So, the Roadhouse, the White House, and Route 66 are all the same Road.
At least, I think so.
Yes, I think it really is Ash. It's just awfully handy how he showed up with the answers to all of Dean's riddles. He's the only one who could, after all.
Now, taking what Ash said and how he uses the laptop and can read and write Enochian, that's a lot of work to jump between Heavens. Only special eds can do that -- things like look in a mirror and see the other one's face. Sam and Dean are doing that to each other without any help at all... and Ash showed up in Dean's prompted world first. Dean is the only one so far to travel to a place he's never been in his own life (Sam's heaven)...
Only one kind of being in this place can do that just by snapping their fingers...
HUH.
62.
So anyway, back to why/how we got here.
This is what Dean does when they're in trouble. Like John, he takes off first, gets stuck, then phones home.
He looks for someone who will tell him what's going on. Sometimes it's Cas, sometimes Bobby, usually Sam...
which is why he told Sam in Jump The Shark (419) that he's more like Dad than he ever was.
Because more and more, Sam is shouldering that role without any credit for it from Dean.
*facepalm*
Realizing that you rely on someone to play Dad and keep you focused or just distracted with randomly killing evil things...
can make you feel pretty worthless about your own life. It also makes you want to get them good and pissed off at you and take off, so that they don't do that anymore.
It's exactly like John, if you think about it.
So, they're both like John, just in different ways, some better, some worse. Ah, family. *hugs them all*
The good news is, Sam got to recognize that about both of them when he talked to young John in Back To The Future II (513) and now he's fully armed with knowing what Dean needs. And Sam has big hands -- he can carry a lot. *nods*
63.
Where was I? Oh yes. Enter someone else Dean wishes he could have had some last words with.
And also? OMG WHY with all this yellow everywhere? It's so yellow, even the blues look green.
64.
Ash's Holy Roller Police Scanner of Awesome!!! \0/
Hey... if Ash can hear and translate Enochian, does that mean he's got angel mojo, too?
Is the laptop hearing and translating it for him? That's an awesome Power Ranger power.
A practical application for string theory!! YES. EXACTLY.
... why does this make so much sense to me? *recounts her marbles*
65.
Dean: So.
Pamela: So. *SCHMACK*
Lid: OMG THANK YOU.
66.
Pam just wanted to shmack him. I don't think she really blames them. She went there of her own volition and got killed. Funny though, how the life you led gets all mixed up in your memories later. She probably would have preferred to be shot. It sounds more badass.
What I love about Pam is that she gets leverage in a conversation just so that she can put people at ease with her revelations: in this case, that Heaven's not so bad and all the good people end up here, so what's to worry about saying yes? Isn't Paradise what they want to give everybody? Don't you want to make sure you that you and Sam come back here? This place is totally without strife, even if it is a rerun of I Love Lucy all day and all night.
Dean: That's not Nirvana. That's The Matrix.
Lid: Couldn't have said it any better. Take the red pill. Let's go.
67.
Ash: That Zach fella is gonna be watchin' every road to the Garden.
So, basically, Ash can get them there the fastest way tthere is, but they're making a break for it.
They could stay here if they wanted to. But they know better. They've got work to do. So do John and Mary.
68.
HOMINA.
69....a.½.
She. Puts Her Hand. In His Hair.
WHY IS THAT ALWAYS SO HOT OMG. Pardon me while I go take a cold shower. Or three.
...
Is that a buffalo head on the wall? IZ IT A PURPLE BUFFALO? *distractions*
70.
Ash: Don't mean to be a downer but... I'm sure I'll see you again soon.
The door opens and the first hint that somethin' ain't right is auditory... crows and owls (flea-bitten angels).
If the season title card is anything to go by...
WELL CRAP.
It's Zachariah. It's been him since.. when? Since Route 66(6)?
CRAP.
I don't wanna think about him, so let's do something else.
The visual hints start popping up again: the diamonds in the windows. Hey...
the REAL Roadhouse didn't have the metal grate in the door, did it?
But it is from the Roadside Diner in AHBL (hello, physical split) and it is reminiscent of the windows of the warehouse where Dean first finds Sam and Ruby using his powers (hello, emotional split). Basically, it shows up anytime the boys are going through the Separation theme again.
(click it. clickit. don't make me comeoverthere)
The wallpaper of "Home's" dining room is a grid. The checkered fabrics are a grid. The brick walls are a grid. The tile backsplash in their motel room is a grid. Diamonds are a grid on a tilted axis. Intentionally or not, it all reinforces the theme. Here's a quote:
"The earliest symbols for matter derive from the pre-Socratic philosophers who inspired so much of the content of Plato's Timaeus. From Pythagoras we have the idea that the cosmos is an embodiment of number. One is a point. Two is a line. Three is a plane. Four is the tetrahedron, the simplest, regular, three dimensional solid, and so four became the number of matter. From Empedocles came the idea that the universe is composed of four elements: earth, water, fire and air. From this it is a small step to the adoption of the equal-armed cross, symbol of separation, as the symbol for matter, and the cross within a circle as the symbol for our Earth.
The equal-arm cross is an eloquent symbol of separation. It is a symbol of bisection, the dualist opposition of God and Matter, of Truth and Lie. It is a symbol of matter itself, and its fourfold division into four elements. It is also a symbol of manifestation, the active process of being apart from God."
SHOW IS AWESOME AND THINKY! *hugs it*
I thought about saying this a little earlier and then I wanted to leave it for later, but let's just cover it now.
It's great and all that some of us are trying to find legitimate clues to Dean and/or Sam being God or Jesus Christ. More power to them. For me personally? Dean is Dean. Sam is Sam. Sometimes Dean is Sam and sometimes Sam is Dean but Jesus God? Dead Men Wear Plaid sometimes, okay...OBVIOUSLY... and Cas is not solely tactical bacon.
And all the SPN fans on Twitter know that P. Diddy is God, anyway.
You know how people ask the Js at cons: if their characters were in Star Wars, who would they be? That's what I mean. I always thought of Supernatural as an extraordinary pastiche. If we start shoehorning these two into Christian boots, we might be severely limiting our perspective or excluding the equal validity of all the other homages, all of which have valuable facets and allegory to ponder. Sure, the similarity to the Christ story is there, but that's just going religious out the Yin Yang.
What about the brother theme? I can think of four epic tales off the top of my head that are better equivalents to Sam and Dean: Candide and Martin, Sancho Panza and Don Quixote, Neo and Morpheus, Bastian and Atreyu ... Wolverine and Deadpool LOL.
Joseph Campbell called it the 'monomyth': all those stories have stood the test of time and have the same fundamental structure. Those stories make it easier to understand Sam and Dean and where they are going and the whole experience gets that much richer if you know them. SERIOUSLY.
Good grief, I got all intellectual for a minute. I'm avoiding this next part because I am really pretty sure that I will hyperventilate and die.
Where's my monkey gong? *scrambles*
Grow young along with me, the worst is yet to be...
*GOOOOOOOOONG*
(I've been dying to be the one to write the review for this next part because it is so very epic. I wrote this about it two yeeeeaaaars ago and damn. I never thought I'd get it that right. /totally pretentious fan moment FML
If someone else beat me to it because I'm the slowest person on earth, please direct me to their post and I will cookie them profusely.)
Okay.
71.
So. Woah. This is creepy, right? It immediately makes me remember the Pilot.
(cap from the Pilot)
What am I saying with this? Nothing. It's all perfectly innocent... right? *shifty eyes*
Nah.... this is Show! Let's say it's on purpose.
(And if you're of a mind that the party of the third part, Zachariah, is behind some of this, I've got you covered there, too. We already know he loves to make up little worlds to push his agenda... but only if it's to get to the truth. The truth can set you free... but it always breaks you first. And he's reached into Dean's mind and he's gonna put it all out on the table -- every deep, dark little secret. But, of course, it's going to take the same shape as every other memory. This is Heaven. There are rules.)
THINK FAST.
72.
Dean says he loves her and all, but she's not real and then she says THIS:
Mary: Did you have a nightmare? Tell me...
And she says it... like this happens a lot.
ARE YOU WITH ME?
Dean has nightmares.
Just like Sam.
No, really.
Even while he was awake.
Just like Sam.
Why do you think Sam's scared the crap out of Dean so bad?
WAIT FOR IT...
We know without a SHADOW of a doubt that these are recordings of what Dean SAW next... RIGHT?
73.
VOILA.
...
THIS. IS DEAN'S SECRET.
...
Bloody Mary.
...
74.
Dean had a nightmare about her death... and he didn't tell her. He didn't tell... anyone.
Because it was just a silly dream... He was only four years old.
75.
If he'd said something, done something... she'd still be alive.
76.
Yes Sam, THANK GOD that YOU get it.
... and I'm sorry. I don't know if this makes Jessica easier or worse.
But it explains soooo much, doesn't it?
DEAN GETS IT, SAMMY. HE ALWAYS HAS.
AND.
He never talked about them. With anybody. Even when you started dreaming about Jessica, too.
YES. I SAID, TOO.
DUDE. Why do you think Dean showed up in the first place? How many times has Dad gone missing and he found him without you? And knew how long to keep you away? And hoped that if you were gone that night, Jessica would be okay? And scrambled to turn around, for no apparent reason, when he saw that you were back too early?
Yeah.
*deep clown voice*
Congratulations, Sam. You have passed the Second Gate. Please hold while we try to push Dean through.
*static*
Lid: SOUL MATES... *FLAILS AND SOBS*
< PART ONE | PART THREE >