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I seem to be lacking motivation today. Well not motivation. Focus maybe? I want to study, but I can't keep studying. I write a few notes, get bored and turn to Facebook, or MSN, or solataire, or iTunes to flick through songs. I know the solution to this problem would be to turn the computer off, but then I would have no music, and I need music. And ( Read more... )

I've come a long way. I know that. But I still feel as if I'm floating along with little direction and little motivation. I've always known where I had to leave, but I've not really got a place to actually go towards. I need direction. I need rules and structure and routine and all the things that I've implemented before and failed at. But I can do ( Read more... )

I dropped one of my anti-depressants when popping it out of the packet this morning. It went under the bed, and I wasn't bothered to look for it straight away. I did anyway, because I didn't want Tibbles accidentally swallowing it. I'm not sure what anti-depressants would do to a cat, but I'm not willing to find out just because I'm careless. I ( Read more... )

I'm changing. I can feel it. But it's for the better. Definately for the better.

I'm sure that I'm beating this. I'm sure that I'm coming out the other side; that now I have been through the darkest part of the night and the sun is finally starting to rise. I feel way more confident. I know I can do this. And I know I can do it by myself from here ( Read more... )

Apathy and indecision are the two worst moods ever. Worse than irritation, or depression, or anger. At least with those there is a direction. At the moment I don't care about anything, and I can't decide what I want to do. It's frustrating, because I want to do something, but I'm not motivated enough and I don't care enough about anything at the ( Read more... )

It's the funnies thing out that I can only find motivation under a deadline, and only right before that deadline is up. I've always done it with my school and uni work. I gave myself a deadline to hand in my photography notes tomorrow, even though they're technically not due until next week, but I wanted to get them done. I did a whole heap ( Read more... )

It's got to be some kind of obvious when someone that you just write words to online notices that you're upset from some simple, ambiguous sentence. I don't know where he got it from, but all of a sudden Dirk wrote "Trina, are you ok?" and I'm sitting here going "what? I didn't say anything about not being ok...". It's something so weirdly obvious ( Read more... )

I never, ever thought I would be this person. Well, except for when I started to want it, but even then I never thought I'd be here. It was a catch 22, I wanted it, but not enough to do it, and even though I wanted it I never thought I would. Well here I am, as emotionally unstable as I have ever been. This was where I wanted to be, and now that I ( Read more... )

I think my good mood just went out the window. That's a bad thing. I've been in such a good mood all weekend. Maybe it's because I'm tired. I am on my thirteenth hour of being awake, and it's only 4pm. Well I guess I'll try to write this blog as I had intended to. Photos and all. I kind of feel like I've just lost all motivation to do things, and ( Read more... )