It's going to take a while for things to go back to resembling anything close to normal. Today has been hard. Yesterday was great. Yesterday it was just us and waiting to tell everyone that we were back together and sex, lots of sex. Today, Mark went back to work and I had another confrontation with Azaria. She keeps writing these angsty Facebook ( Read more... )

Mark had Azaria here last night. Her and Rose stayed here. It was when he woke up next to her and realised that it wasn't me that he knew he'd made the biggest mistake. While this was happening I was crying my heart out at Jason's, and then I decided that I wanted to come home, and shower in my shower. I also wanted to put myself out there and ask ( Read more... )

My relationship has ended. It hurts, so much, and right now I don't have the tools to cope with that properly, but I am trying the best I can. It makes no sense, and I'm not going to try to figure it out just now. There are no words for any of this, but it has to go somewhere, so it will go here. Writing has always served me so well in the past, ( Read more... )

No one is immune to doubting, least of all I.

This is the part that sucks. Azaria is downstairs right now with Mark, because I couldn't put my foot down. I'd already agreed. I couldn't take it back. I wouldn't. I won't do to him what he did to me with Melissa. He didn't mean to. He wasn't ok with it. I just want time. I'm not selfish, I deserve ( Read more... )

Thanks to x.Snafu.x, simply.human, caramelchicken, atypyc, remy's, kittenCorn, Edana, not_enough, sErVe tHe Eg0!~, ( Read more... )

  Remember how I said I Facebooked Amy and we talked and then we talked at Michael's party and now everything is alright between us? And how I said I had thoughts about hooking up with her again? Well...

me: are you seeing anyone?

her: No, i'm not. I'm kinda interested in a guy but we're just friends at this stage and I think it might just stay that ( Read more... )

There was a boy today, suprisingly. He came and asked for an induction pack off me and he looked nice and sounded nice and he looked at me like he thought I was nice. It sent a little jolt through my stomach cause that doesn't happen very often at all. I stole a look at his name and birth date when he handed his pack back in. He had an awesome name ( Read more... )

Is it appropriate to say "things are back to normal now"? What's normal? Things never go back. Something always changes, and that shapes how things reform. If you break something and glue it together you can see where it was broken before. It might look as good as new, but it's still cracked, still fragile, not as strong as before, more likely to ( Read more... )

I've calmed down now. I'm ok. I'm starting to think "oh well who cares what everyone else thinks anyway". That's what I should have thought from the start, but it seems that I've gotten a bit slow at that sort of thing over the last few days. I got over it and then Azaria wasn't texting Mark back and then she started talking to me on Facebook like ( Read more... )

I feel weird right now. Really, really weird. Last night was huge. Last night was a complete jump over all the little steps I'd taken to get this far ahead. I'm not angry about it though. I knew it was going to happen at some stage. I expected it, but didn't, sort of. I'm not invincible right? No one is. There's always step backs, and now that I'm ( Read more... )