bad feeling
I've calmed down now. I'm ok. I'm starting to think "oh well who cares what everyone else thinks anyway". That's what I should have thought from the start, but it seems that I've gotten a bit slow at that sort of thing over the last few days. I got over it and then Azaria wasn't texting Mark back and then she started talking to me on Facebook like nothing has changed, like they didn't even have sex because it's not awkward at all. Well it's awkward now because she thinks I'm shitty at her, but I'll get to that later I guess.
I'm finally talking to Melissa about it, even though I've calmed down now. I talked to Bella about it, which was nice. I really just wanted to talk to Melissa because when it comes to this sort of thing, we're the same. She gets it, because people have hated her for her sex life as well. Melissa listened to it all, and agreed with me that this situation is crazy because she went from awkward to having people know in like 24 hours. Then she said she had a bad feeling about it, the same bad feeling she had when I told her yesterday that Mark had fucked Azaria. I'd pretty much trust Melissa's feelings over my own so I got a little worried. I did promise that I wouldn't obsess over it though. She said it might be bad enough that Azaria might even go after Mark, as in so she can have him for herself. That shocked me, but it does kind of make sense. Melissa pointed out that it does explain why she would feel awkward in all of this. I think it also fits because Azaria was always adamant that she would never sleep with Mark, and then all of a sudden things escalate very quickly. And they text like nothing else. I promised Melissa I wouldn't obsess over it, because she knows what I'm like, and said that I'd keep an eye out for anything that looked like that, even though she said not to take any notice of it because she's very tired and hasn't been sleeping properly lately. I'd still trust her feelings better than my own.
Anyway, I made Azaria think I was mad at her by inadvertantly doing my thing. I think Ally would be pleased. It's like I evolved with the thing and turned it into something where I can still make someone feel bad but not have the whole thing blow up in my face. She said she didn't mean for everyone to find out, that she only told two people, even though she made Mark promise to tell no one but me. She said she was shocked when she found out that everyone knew. I told her that we prefer to keep this sort of thing to ourselves because people don't respect it or understand it most of the time and that she'd understand when she started getting insulted for sleeping with someone else's boyfriend. She said she had already been insulted a few times today. I said that if it happened again I'd appreciate it if she kept her mouth shut about it, and that's where she goes "ok I think you're really shitty with me now so I might leave you alone". I managed to convince her that I wasn't, even though I was kind of getting worked up again, but we're over that now. She said she felt like a bitch, and I said she didn't need to. But anyway, this is all her fault. Melissa said that the girl that Azaria told (her best friend) has a really big mouth, and gossip spreads like wild fire in that place.
I guess I did over react a little before, but I'm still anticipating gossip and all that. I guess I just have to survive it now. There's no taking it back. Hopefully though if it does happen again Azaria will know not to tell people that have big mouths.
In other news; Mark liked my polaroids, and my human biology module goes for three weeks, so I've got another two weeks to finish the module. And KFC shuts at 10pm on Monday nights. I did not know that.