I was looking through my phone to find something and there it was, a note from yesterday morning saying 'next lj title: a renewed sense of confidence (not arrogance)." I wish I could remember what I was feeling confident about yesterday. It's hard to believe that the note was written about 34 hours ago and it meant something then. A wave of sadness ( Read more... )

The last entry had more tags than writing, I'm afraid. But it should not be surprising ( Read more... )

It is 9am Sunday morning. Though I was very good about being up early for a few months (at least Monday-Friday), it became apparent for a while that only Sunday would offer a moment to sleep in, to relax. It was disastrous, actually. That contagion spread to infect Saturday, then Friday and Thursday, and the past few weeks it has interrupted the ( Read more... )

Today was better and substantially more productive than yesterday, actually. Yesterday was more of a relaxing family day, with minimal productivity. I still got some important business items done, such as going to the meeting and talking to that friend. But, enough about that as I wrote of those topics and themes yesterday ( Read more... )

I'm always amazed at how readily I contradict myself and paint myself into corners. When I'm not accused (usually right, admittedly) of butchering the English language and being a tactless fool, I'm accused of being bitter, paranoid (actually, no one ever has used that word, but I use it a lot to describe myself), anachronistic and out of touch. So ( Read more... )

I'm pretty sure we're all sick of me at this point today, I know I am. I really should be fast asleep, but as I had my late night class in Stockton, I'm just at home and decompressing. Also, I don't really have to be up as early tomorrow morning. Anyways ( Read more... )

Today has been an exercise in Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.I'm not sure how I feel about mixing this writing with my life in sobriety, but right now, I'm having a hard time making any distinctions. I suppose I haven't really separated them, as sobriety has become a defining feature of who ( Read more... )

Where have I been since last I updated on 29 July? I'm not sure. I could, if I wanted, go upstairs, look at the records, think about it and try to reflect, but I'm just not sure it'd be worth the time and effort --considering that I wanted to be asleep almost an hour ago, and also considering that I'm trying to make this brief ( Read more... )

Actually, last night, I don't rightly recall dreaming. Nor do I recall feeling this miserable. This, tired...this, drained. Allegedly, I've slept from 10:30ish to about 5:30ish. That would, normally, leave me still tired. But Alas! I am still tired. I feel as if I haven't slept ( Read more... )

Yesterday was not nearly as challenging or grueling as I thought it would be. Consequently, when I went to bed last night, I felt a renewed sense of vigor. Yet though today has gotten off to a better start, does that mean it is time to grow complacent ( Read more... )